this is a preview because my stomach hurts

I was going to write a legitimate post today, guys. Honest. It was going to be the ultimate catch-up post, since, ya know, haven't really been writing on this thing for awhile (*cough* understatement). ANYway. Since I just puked two times (no, seriously) and I wanted you guys to know I had a legit excuse for not writing today, that's why this post exists.

Completely random and pointless. Here's what you can expect next time (no puke, I promise):

1. a bachelorette recap because why not

2. okay, so maybe I'll follow that last one up with puking

3. some music I've been jamming to lately

4. my life in general (minus the puking)

5. freckles and sun burns

6. men with facial hair, because again, WHY NOT

7. this bike I really want and can now pine for within reason

8. in one week I'll have a car. car= ..... (this is the preview part, meaning you'll hafta come back next time to find out what the ominous dots mean)

9. the rest o' my summer plans

10. fall and why I'm excited for fall and why everyone should always be excited for fall (duh, because it's fall)

since I feel weird just writing text....here's a video. which I also posted on facespace. now if you'll excuse me, I feel pukish. sorry. 

proof I'm heavily medicated

• I shaved my legs twice in the last three days (wow, really?)
• I made up a new slang term: "Holy Granola!" It just came out of my mouth like drool. What??
• I ate more produce today than most Americans farm animals eat in a week (think of that one time I hate a half a bag of carrots by myself, or half of a pineapple...that times five)
• I warned my future children against the dangers of drugs in a journal entry. I'm telling you--Benadryl/Aleve/Sudafed--whatever it is, my body can't take it
• I'm taking double-double naps
• I'm probably going to regret writing this in the morning
• I did nothing to my hair today besides 5 variations of the braid
• I'm listening to lots of Weezer. Hello 17-year old self, nice to see you again
• It was sleeting outside today, and I walked around in it, for a full 30 minutes. In my current state. I mean, somebody should just get a crane, pluck me up, and stick me in my bed. Clearly I cannot function solo
• I forgot what day it was...and what month...and maybe the year too. You mean it's not February 6th, 2011? Oh yeah, because if it was, I'd be in Mexico. Darn.
• I have this insane urge to jump on my bed, but it's 11 o' clock at night so I will refrain
• Also, it does not feel like it's 11 o'clock at night. More like 5pm. Stupid double-napping!
• When my doctor commented on the orangey-hue of my skin (seriously, it's not even that orange), I confessed to eating lots of pumpkin and carrots, jokingly offering up a solution. She said, in all seriousness, "Ahh. That's it. I've never seen this before." What the? Ok, I'm an oompa-loompa, now tell me if I have the flu! But, for reals. It's not that orange, aight?
• That last paragraph

okay, ew

I'm gonna use this blog for something I rarely use it for: venting. You may or may not enjoy it.

1) those commericals on TLC about weird addictions. seriously, gag me with a spoon. so sick. why are they on public tv? I'm still gagging.

2) soggy sweet potato fries. Red Robin, c'mon, if I'm gonna pay you 79 cents to be a little bit healthier, you better make those fries CRISPY. As in, I should hear a "crunch" when they enter my mouth.

3) two pairs of acid wash jeans spotted on campus this week....on both boys and girls. ack.

4) rags. I am a paper-towel kind of a girl. And the rags in our sink multiply like rabbits. I don't even bother using them...if I see one sitting there looking all moldy-like, I just carry it back to the washer asap. I guess I'm a rag supremacist.

5) when people eat foods together that should not be eaten together. I guess this is just the foodie in me or something, but f'real, you can't eat graham crackers and canned corn for lunch! what?!

6) please, for the love of all that is good and right in this world, stop wearing holey sweats to the grocery store. Holey in all the wrong places, too. I think that you're confusing the produce aisle with...your bed.

7) when your hair is so thick that you have to blow-dry it for so long that you start to break a sweat and then your hair sticks to your neck and your shirt sticks to your back and it's like, why did I even shower after that workout? There was no need.

8) that thing when people hock a loogie (thanks dad) in their mouth and then...and then...they...they swallow it. {kid history reference} And the worst thing is, we all know it, because we heard them hock the lugie, and then nothing happened afterwards!

9) sorry for that last one, it was pretty dang gross. but while we're on the subject, can all of the boys at this school please stop spitting everywhere? kthanksbye. (I realize that this pretty much contradicts the last thing I said, but hey, there are bathroom sinks and kleenex and other things. am I right?)

10) THIS

this blog used to be funny.

(if you don't know who this is...yeah I just don't even know what to say to you.

here's a crash course: this and this)

funny...and updated.

But you know what, my classes have been off the heezy lately. And you don't even wanna know what that means.

While I figure out how to be funny/sane again, here is a brain barf..er...journal entry from just last night. I apologize in advance for talking about my legs again. I just can't seem to get off of that subject on this blog. Or in real life. Ha.

{Something smells like chicken noodle soup and it's making me hungry.}<--that's the title, btw

Also, I haven't shaved my legs in 2 weeks, what?! That's kind of sick. But on the other hand, it's flippin' FREEZING here and walking to the library feels like the climb to Everest with the wind chill and all. Ok, maybe not that dramatic. The point is, my legs are going to stay unshaven for at least a few more days. The End and Amen.

Can you tell that this is a brain barf? I figured the title would be a dead giveaway. Seriously, that soup or whatever is cooking (at 10 o'clock at night...hmm) smells GOOD. I'm going off-topic..which isn't breaking any rules because this is a brain barf, folks! I wore 4...no 5 different coats today. Not at all once, of course, because that would be RE-donkulus. And yet, maybe it would be genius. I wasn't a fan of the wind today--it ruined our "snowstorm" which was supposed to strike this morning. Boo. I choose snow over wind any day. Back to my coats. I'm going to rate their effectiveness in this crazycrazycrazy cold weather.

1-my Mexican "drug rug" (don't hate). A solid 7, and it could be higher but I didn't wear it outside and really test its abilities.

2-BYU sweatshirt, 5. It's losing it's fuzziness. Unlike my legs...haha! Ahem. Anyway.

3-brown old navy coat, 0. It's just for decoration after all.

4-grey AE hoodie. A 4, it's way too small, meaning I have grown since age 16! So I guess my doctor was wrong-o when he told me I was done growing in 6th grade. That's right, 6th grade! Do you know how tall I was in 6th grade? Probably not as tall as you were.

5-my winter coat, a 10 of course. Now I just need sufficient coverage for my leggies, cuz my leg hairs+jeans aren't that much protection.

Dude, I can't believe how much I got done today! When I woke up, I was dreading everything that I was going to have to attempt. But somehow, by focusing on one thing at a time, I did it. What the junk? Maybe it's because I deactivated my facespace until April...yeah, maybe. In between classes, I worked on a huge assignment for English 450 (it's kicking me in the pants, seeeriously) and exercised. And worked at the RC (it's a miracle I still work there...I seriously thought about quitting this week because I was so swamped). And made a legitimate dinner. And had scripture study. And looked at moccasins on the internet because I really want some. And listened to lots of indie music, which only made me want to go to Coachella more and see Justin Vernon in the flesh!!!! Sigh."

I'm telling you...on a crazy scale from 1-10, my journals are a 15.

And so is the whole no-snow-in-Rexburg but snow-in-the-Pacific-Northwest thing. These are the things that keep me up at night, friends. Moccasins, Justin Vernon, and the wind practically blowing this apartment to smithereens.

p.s. you need to watch this right now. right. now. ya hear?!!

something like exhaustion...

So I finished my last final today of 2011...I would cry tears of joy, but I think my tear ducts have had about enough this semester.

It's been a good, hard race. Kind of like the Ragnar. Yeah...that's the perfect analogy for this semester. During the race you keep thinking, "Why the heeeeck am I doing this? I would rather pluck all of my arm hairs off." And then it's over and you find yourself thinking, "Yeah, I could do that again. Why not? Here's a hundred bucks!"

I can only imagine what next semester will be like. Probably Ragnar, ultra-team style. Gulp.

This semester, I learned how much God is aware of me. Meaning that I really don't have anything to worry about. Seriously, nothing. And the peaceful feeling that comes with that has been hard to get used to, but very nice. I enjoy it. And it usually ends well!

For instance, yesterday morning I got up before most woodland creatures do to study for my huge-mongo Spanish final. When I walked into class to take said final, most of the boys looked like they were on the verge of pukedom. One of my friends said, "McKenzie...can you give me a blessing? I'm going to puke..." I laughed and said, "Nope...I can't. But it's going to be okay." Seriously, though. Even the redheads looked pale(r). It was going to be an epic final.

I tried to be positive (and yes, unrealistic, but that's not the point!): "Maybe he'll walk in and say, 'Merry Christmas! No final!'" We laughed nervously, and then, Hermano Rock himself walked in. He asked us about our essays that we'd turned in, made playful banter, etc. I kept thinking, "Why doesn't he get it over with and give us the final?!" It's like waiting for the nurse to give you your shot. You know, she says "Ok, here we go!" and you squeeze your eyes and try to take deep breaths and the needle is coming towards your arm but it's hurtling in slow-motion... "Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis wooooooooooon't huuuuuuuuuuuuurt." Anyways. I was pretty sure the Spanish test was going to feel like a peanut butter shot. So I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

Then. Then. Hermano Rock said, "Well, if you don't have anything else you want to discuss for the next hour and a half, you're excused." He said this in Spanish of course, so I had to check and make sure I wasn't lost in translation. I turned to the boys behind me and said, "Wait...serious?" One of them said, "Hurry, pack your stuff up before he changes his mind!" Hermano Rock will forever go down as the best Spanish professor in my book. Evah. No contest.

After that I had English. Our "final" was just submitting something we'd written onto the school's online blackboard and then the other class would judge, pick winners, etc. There were winners in Fiction, Non-Fiction, and Poetry. Apparently they also won $25 bucks at the bookstore, cha-ching. Well I sat back and relaxed and ate some cucumber slices provided by the school's catering bidnez. Until Brotha B. said, "And our winner for poetry is Ponyboy Curtis..." Yeah, that's my pen name. Deal wit it. Everyone looked around while he said, "Ponyboy?" Yes, I felt foolish at that moment for choosing such a name. But honestly, I couldn't believe nobody else picked that pen name! Some guy in the class had simply used the pound sign as his pen name. Fo'real. Ok, I'm getting off-topic now. Sooo then I had to get up in front of the class and read my poem with a shaky voice because I'm kind of bad at reading poems out loud. The end.

Now all I want to do is eat a frosty (finals week=no grocery shopping=all that's in my fridge is milk and apples and flaxseed and peanut butter). And take a really long nap. I'm talkin 12 hours. And if I could, I would get in my car (that doesn't exist) right now and drive to grandma bonnie's and upon arriving there I would collapse onto any soft surface (that includes her front yard) and then in the morning I would drive to my house while having a dance party to "Man in the Mirror" in the front seat. And I wouldn't think about school. Not one bit.

the brace-face chronicles...

So you know how I sometimes post little excerpts from my journals? Well, I decided to show you guys a little somethin-somethin special. Call it an early Christmas present, from me to you. But if you are prone to laughter, please use the bathroom first. Thank you.

And now, we go back in time....to the year of Y2K, Xenon Girl of the 21st Century, and braces. That's right. 2000. And some 2001, too. I decided not to edit anything, because, well, it wouldn't be near as funny if I did. However, I did add some commentary in the little brackets. Oh, and sorry for all the exclamation points and big letters. Can't blame a 10-year old girl for being a little enthusiastic about life.

January 1st, 2000

"Happy Birthday to me! Now, I am 10 years old! Mom and Dad keep telling me to STOP growing up. I know they are just joking. Ha ha! But kids can't stay like Peter Pan forever! At least not me! I got a lot of neat stuff. A fairy doll, a doll playset, a book, bracelets, a necklace, a cd headphone player [what the junk was I talking about?!], a doll that looks JUST like me, pants, a dress, WAIT! That's all I can remember. [What, did I just experience sudden head trauma?] Crazy huh? [You're telling me.] But the Chronicles of Narnia is only 1 more I can remember. Bye!"

January 26!

One more day 'til the talent show! [just fyi, almost this entire journal revolves around the talent show. I'm not sure why now.] Sorry, I haven't written for a long time. Today I play my violin concert at 7:00pm tonight! We (my class) are singing two songs in the Talent Show called Dr. King & Lewy Lewy [back then I was a phonetic speller, okay?].

February 13!

Oh man! I haven't written Forever! Oh well. Tomorrow is actually Valentine's Day. We have gotten 3 new kids + the 21 we had before. This means I"ll be full on candy tomorrow! Today we had a substitute teacher at church. Brother Stanley. We had a lesson on the Tree of Life. I call the Tree of Life...Cauliflower! Just kidding. Well, my hand writing might be sloppy tomorrow because I'll be sick from candy.

April 14, 2001

I know. I haven't written forever. Well here is a little time machine! I was taking a writing class with my good friend Amy Mathews. We both agree to NEVER go back again. The teacher was nutty and the kids were...well let's just say scary! Abel, was definitely not able. Every time the teacher asked him to read his work, he'd say "PASS!" [Forgive me for my harshness...little kids can be real meanies.]

April 16, 2001

Nothing really happened today. Ha-Ha. Just kidding. As usual I went to violin class but a new thing: she (my mom) was the first to pick me up. Mom is usually the last to pick up--that's right--ME. Mom was on the RADIO! That is not exciting. Ha Ha again. Eh huh again. Ok I will stop being weird. I got cool writing scores. 5, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, and 4, 4, 4, 4 [*facepalm*]. You have to at least get a 4. AWESOME! I was listening to Shania Twain on the radio 3 halfs of a second ago. What's 3 halfs of a second? Shania Twain reminds me of my best friend Liz. She listens to Shania. The best thing about journals are: 1)they don't get graded. 2)They are SECRET [not on this blog...]. 3)they are like historical fiction books, which I love. 4) they do or do not tell lies [huh?].

April 17, 2001

Today was really radical! After school I went ot my BF's house [Lizzy]. 1st we went to Subway. On the way to SUB, I had too many choco-eggs and they made my mouth dry. Afterwards we helped her mom Cheryl clean the dental office by Grandma's house. Eww! I helped w/ the trash. It was dark out, so when I dumped the trash, well...DQ is right over the fence. The food pick-up is right over the fence. I swung the trash a little too far right over to where the DQ customers pick up their food. HA HA! Oops!

April 18, 2001

TALENT SHOW AUDITIONS! The auditions were great! I think I'm in. There is a lot happening at the Talent Show. Some stuff kids did was a little, well, INAPPROPRIATE. Not that I care they move their bodies in weird motions. In math, we got assigned seats! I had to sit by Chris Hardisty. YUCK! [yeah, I totally had a crush on him, fyi.]

April 26, 2001

Today we dissected owl pellets! It turns out the owl had 2 3/4 rodent dinner. We STILL haven't gotten all of the bones out of the "rotten cotton candy"!

April 28, 2001

Today Amy and I went to the movie SPY kids. Weird!!!! It has too much...high tech stuff in it [little did I know...] Afterwards off went went to Orange Julius after her MOM picked us up. It was POURING DOWN HAIL AND RAIN. Then we got back to her house and watched PRINCE OF EGYPT and ate popcorn and cookies. Amy is my other BF. Sometimes I bring extra underwear to her house because she makes me laugh SOOO hard! [I am so ashamed of this...but I had to share. I just had to.]

May 2nd, 2001

Spent the night at Amy's. I am writing this in gel pen because my ink ran out. First of all, Nichelle cheated at track again! I was ahead again, and she pushed me on the corner. She brags terribly! All the time. "My brother is the fastest on his team" "I've never gotten any checkmarks" [in 5th grade, checkmarks were akin to demerits, ok?]. OK, so Amy and I had fun. Ate pizza. She's a blast!

May 10, 2001

Leslie's play was great. On the way to WA, I read and finished the LANDRY NEWS. I've been wearing my hat all day [nothing new here] and so it feels like I have lice. Itch, scratch, itch, scratch! After the play we got Domino's & Cinnastix w/ icing. Leslie and I had to pick up pop from Subway. Michael finished 2 of the Cinnastix and opened the frosting while we left him in the car. No wonder some were missing!

finals are for wimps

Today in the midst of a zombie-eyed stupor, I thought of a brilliant, anti-finals-week post. The idea came from Sunday School...now before you all go running to a different blog, listen up. Our teacher had us raise our hands and tell her talents of others in the room. My roommate Caitlyn spoke up and told everyone that my talent was laughing. Huh? At first I was like, "Hey now, that's not exactly a talent...sometimes it gets me into trouble." Ok, I didn't say that. I didn't say anything, actually. I just laughed. JK, JK. But it got me thinking...yeah...I do laugh a lot. I fact, I probably laugh a little too much. And yet, what exactly is the "quota" of laughter for a 21-year old girl? I think it's limitless. And now, the proof.

that entire night was spent laughing. my abs looked gooood in the mornin'.

exhibit b: someone tried to take a regular photograph and I could not hold in my laughter about something. And, as you can see, when I laugh, Caitlyn laughs.

my face! I mean really.

from my younger years. I haven't changed much.

caitlyn+me=inevitable laughter.

courtney was behind the camera, and I know, I just know she said something to make me laugh. She does that!

Ahh, Sister Bedke. How can you not laugh when you're with her?

"Look, I'm manhandling a gun and I don't know how! I'll just show off all my chins instead! Ha-ha-ha!"

do I really have to explain myself here?

So maybe it's not that I laugh too much...I just surround myself with really funny people.

Yep. That's it.

pssst...all of you lurkers are wimps too for not commenting. yes, I said it.

mature or immature?

I have one more sleep until I am free of this chilly place which has been autumn-less since the end of October. I've been looking at people's pictures who live in Utah and noticing how there are still leaves on the ground. I'm only a little bit peeved about that.

In other news, today I was in the library (how very original) and I started to make this list of my characteristics...because I'm conceited and stuff. Har-har. No, but really I was just trying to discern if I was mature or not. Because a lot of people tell me I'm "mature" for my age, but I don't think they really know me...

• I (usually) can't get through church meetings without laughing at some point. Just don't sit by me if you're funny.
• I jump on the furniture in our apartment regularly.
• I love coloring and doodling. It's not unusual for my class notes to have graffiti all over the margins.
• I have dance parties in the kitchen, in my room, in the library. All by myself.
• I still get the urge to prank people (it's the 17-year old inside of me, ok?!)
• I read Junie B. Jones
• I was a bunch of grapes for Halloween, I mean c'mon.
• I throw books when I get too into them.
• I air-drum when I go running with music.
• I bob my head when I'm jamming while studying...in public.
• I drink milk straight from the jug.
• I laugh during Twilight. Is it supposed to be for real? So I'm supposed to believe that waking up after your wedding night covered in bruises is love? Girl please.
• I felt more like one of the children than a person of authority in Mexico. Those kids saw right through me.
• I play my harmonica for unsuspecting strangers in public.
• If there's a shopping cart nearby, you can bet I'll use it for a quick getaway.
• I wore a shower cap to Broulim's....'nuff said.
• I make designs with my chocolate chips in my pancakes.
• I cross my eyes at people.

So...maybe not so mature after all.

See for yourself.

this was awhile ago, but I've worn worse things on my head recently (*cough* shower cap)

although we were at an ancient historical site, I still somehow found a tree to climb.

I'm a college student. Obviously.

and this is what college students do for fun.

look, I'm climbing another tree!

halloweenie

it's my favorite holiday for a reason....

and that reason is, I can act like myself and nobody suspects a thing.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

I need to confess...

confession 1: this week I took an old red skirt which was destined for the D.I. pile and instead threw it into the bathtub with a whole bunch of bleach. I smelled like a swimming pool for days. And the skirt did not turn pink like I planned. It's more of a pukey orange color...perfect for fall, no? So much for being domesticated.

confession 2: I have eaten more pb&j's in the past couple of weeks than I have in my whole life. Mostly because of this bread recipe.

confession 3: This song has been on repeat lately. It's a classic, you know.

confession 4: I make up recipes in my head when I can't concentrate in class. Don't worry, today in Spanish Lit when the discussion starting leaning towards the ridiculous (as it often does, remember I'm one of two girls in that class), I started writing down all of the soups I'm going to make this month. Oh yeah, that's my other confession. I plan on eating mostly soup this month. Don't deny you're jealous.

confession 5: Sometimes I look in my Mexico archives and read about the olden days. But then I start to feel a little bit depressed so I have to stop. Time to let go, McKenz. Let. Go.

confession 6: I may or may not have begun to study on a bench right outside the library because 1, it is the best place for people-watching, and 2....um, I can't tell you the other reason. This is a confession-session but it's also the world wide web, folks.

confession 7: I hate, no, loathe, the giant body pillow which Chelsea bequeathed to me for the duration of her mission. You know why? Because it is not in the shape of my body at all, nor does it contour to my shape. Did I just sound like an infomercial or what? Anyway, the point is that her body pillow has been banished to the corner of my room, far, far away from my sleeping space.

confession 8: I get the urge to jump in the leaves a lot. Soon I'm just going to give in to the impulse.

confession 9: I want to bake lots of carbs and then leave them on random people's doorsteps. The look on their faces is priceless! And so the phantom goodie season begins...

confession 10: I enjoy the weather when it's all rainy, because then I get to wear this beauty:

during winter...

or spring...

even summer.

Ahhh. Fall is offically here. Time to relish. Oh how I love that word.

oh, the cleverness of me

awesomeness:

-avocado+jam+egg sandwich. you know you want one.

-demolition derby (aka redneck jousting). now that's a good place to find a huzzbend.

-um, postmodernism is only, like, the BEST english class ever. And I can't believe I just said it like that, but I've lost all words. We read a story on Wednesday and my mouth was open for all 17 pages.

-secret glances heheheh

-a movie known as Midnight in Paris. It made me proud to be an English major. Oh and whoever played Ernest Hemingway...was attractive. Go ahead and think I'm weird for liking a dead guy. I dare ya.

-the very first open meet of the x-country season. It was surprisingly easy. And then the coaches' pep talk was, "Guys, it's gonna get easier, I promise." I smiled the whole way home.

-autumny rainy days

awkwardness:

-seeing some guy friends from back in the day walking to sammy's...and then rolling down my window to say hi...and then my brain misfired at that exact moment and instead of making the "hi!" noise my mouth made the "ow-ow!" noise. oh the shame. they waved awkwardly as if they didn't know me. and then we sped away. face, meet palm.

-walking past my new classroom about five times, like a freshman with those cute little maps. and having a few upper-classmen (wait..that's me!) eyeball me with concern. Don't worry guys...I found it! It's...right here. In front of my face.

-the computer I'm currently using literally gasps for breath, guys. It kind of scares me when I'm trying to fall asleep and then all of a sudden, "Mehhhuuuuurrrrshhhhhh!" I'm sitting up in my bed faster than a hungry cheetah (huh?). I have no idea how you would pronounce that, by the way.

-being in the middle of a movie night with your roommates (meaning I was in my jammies...meaning that's all I was in. Get my drift?) when guys from the ward decided to pop in. Oh please, do not turn on that li.....oooh, too late. I'll just grab the nearest dishtowel then.

-that awkward thing people do when you are having a conversation with them and they start texting. which happens to me regularly. oy.

-that other awkward thing people do when they eavesdrop on a conversation you're having with someone else and then they add their own little anecdote. "Excuse me, do I know you? You're standing awfully close..."

-did you know that some boys (aka most boys) eat whatever's in their fridge no matter how badly it smells? I didn't. Luckily I wasn't the only one who noticed the strange smell. My friend came out of his room and said, "Who vomited?" Somebody get these kids an eternal compadre, stat!

funny stuff etc.

(disclaimer: this is longish so I have inserted funny pictures from my tumblr to ensure you keep reading 'til the end. okay then)

Right now I am feeling a little craaazy because maybe I just got back from running and the endorphins are coursing through my vessels. Although it feels more like 7Up at the moment. Many times in my life I have done stupid-ish things after a run because I felt invincible. Then, hours, weeks, months, or years later, I facepalmed my stupidity. Join me!

• (I'm pretty sure everyone's heard this story, but I think it's chilarious. I'm not sure which word I just combined with hilarious...I'll get back to you on that.) ANYWHO. Once after a particularly rough x-country practice, me and the Lizard were told by our coach to go home and eat a big plate of pasta with broccoli. You don't understand how much we did not want broccoli. Or pasta. We inhaled pasta most of the time. So what did we do? Just had her mom drive us down the road to Carl's Jr., where we both inhaled 2 burgers...each. One of the proudest moments of my life.
• Once I called up a friend to help me with a really embarrassing assignment after I ran 3 miles. It was one of the most embarrassing things I ever had to do for 20 points and an A. But worth it in the end. If you want more of this story, you can ask me.
  
• There was this one time I ran a 10k and accidentally ran an extra mile...so actually the crazy thing happened during my run. But oh well.
• Then there was the Ragnar. I'm not even gonna talk about all the locomotive stuff from that race. But let me just say that I ran my first leg, sat in a car, ate too many bananas and larabars, slept on a sleeping bag in an unfinished basement on a cement floor, then ran up a hill in the dark at 12:30am when I really shouldn't have been running. But I did it. Crazysauce.
• I remember one run in high school which I did on a summery night. Naturally, I was pretty hot after the run was over, so I simply jumped into the half-full kiddie pool in our backyard. In my running clothes. My dad came outside and gave me the weirdest look, and then went back in. Psh. He didn't know what he was missing!
  

As you can see, endorphins make me do pretty nutso things. But in the end they end up being really good things...so I guess what I'm trying to say is run instead of doing drugs. It's a natural high, and the consequences are a jillion times better.

So maybe this blog will end up being a good thing later down the road...because right now, as I'm writing it...it just feels like some half-crazed idea spawned by another run. Excuses, excuses.

Another funny thing I'd like to share is the google searches people have done to happen upon this blog. P.S. I love saying "happen upon." It makes me feel British, almost (if that wasn't stereotypical, I don't know what is). Here is a sampling:

redhead nerds
the truth about gingers
(a British person totally did this one, who else says "gingers" instead of "redheads"!!!!)
ugly coveralls (wait, it gets better)
bob dylan can't sing
wearing those overalls (again with the overalls...)
pigtails redhead
fat redhead nerds (watch it)
redheads are my weakness (oh really...)
barf meaning (this one kills me!)
go back to mexico (I will, someday)
Thanks to google my blog is being read by people in Sweden, The Netherlands, India, Brazil, France, Israel, Ukraine, Russia, Mexico, Argentina, and Punjab (that was the barf one...haha). Please make yourself known, lurkers!

And last but definitely not least, I'd like to introduce my dear friend Tessa. She and I have the greatest conversations. Here's a little taste of what I get every day on my phone.

me: "We found a rattlesnake and my uncle shot it three times. Ick."
TP: "I've never seen anything get shot besides the air."

TP: "Once again I think it's a for my own entertainment crush."
me: "Oh you mean like ____ and ____ and ___ were?"
TP: "Yeah....uh..."

Me: "We just went to Macey's and ate ice cream and talked about relationship problems."
TP: "Oh dear. Well a club should be made called dating drags."

TP: "I can't believe I forgot about that! [a funny incident which cannot be shared on the www]
me: how'd you forget a gem like that?!
tp: I don't know but it was funny when I got reminded.
Me: I have a funny bank. I make deposits into it regularly. Then I remember it later and withdraw.

me: Why'd she have to get pregnant?
tp: rude
me: I can't wait until you're pregnant and then when you can't hang out with me as much anymore I'll just say you're rude.
tp: haha and i'll do the same to you.
me: thanks! Glad we could be there for each other.

me: When you kiss someone it should be right after you eat ice cream or something sweet like that.
tp: Mm or chocolate! Not ice cream...it makes your lips cold and then they feel like they're kissing a dead person. Which is super funny when it isn't one of your first kisses with them.
me: maybe I should just say I'm allergic...but that would be a horrible lie because ice cream is my favorite food. boys and ice cream, that is.


tp [while watching sound of music]: The weeeee! scene just happened. So good. Along with the one right after, favorite things. Remind me to say weeee after my next first kiss.

me: hahhaha ok...if i"m there I'll remind you. Which might be awkward.

tp: I just changed another diaper...
me: Oh I remember those days!
tp: oh the joys of poop.
yeah....that happened.

tp: I just swam...swam is a loose term because I don't remember the last time I put my head under water.
me: That's the traditional way...otherwise it's called drowning.
tp: ahha that's quite true. By head up I just meant not in water...ever...
me: true.

this journaling bidnez is starting to get out of control

Some people's journals are probably going to be LEGIT as far as the angels are concerned. They will quote those things up and down because they'll be really spiritual and inspirational. And mine, well...I just don't know what they will do with mine. "Hey Kenzie, thanks for your contribution, but we won't be needing your crazy stories for another million years."

At least you guys read them.

March 10th, 2010

Tonight I closed with the lovely Dee. If you want to know how busy we were, just know that Dee fell asleep a grand total of three times during our shift. Quizno's is to me as molasses is to winter.

March 15th, 2010

Sometimes I think Heavenly Father looks down at me from heaven and slaps his hand to his forehad, saying 'Oh Kenz...' He loves me--I have no doubt about that--but I bet there are times when He would just like to let me struggle in my own silly weaknesses, because I got myself in the mess in the first place. But I know it's also because of that love that He eventually pulls me out of the stormy seas which I'm in (because I capsized the boat) and asks, "What did you learn?"

April 6th, 2010

Today at the pool a chubby kid with a water gun kept squirting kids with it, including Cal. Ellie drove him away every time he came near. Caleb said, "Well he was super rude." Ha!

July 4th, 2010

Tonight when Caleb hugged mom goodnight he held on for a really long time. She said, "Okay, Cal.." to get him to let go. He said, "I just can't stop loving you!!"

August 2nd, 2010

TP, Kristine and I decided to go up to the grassy part where people were playing Frisbee. I got the brilliant idea to roll down the hill...which was fun 'til I stopped rolling, and then I was just nauseated. I used to have hill-rolling skills...when I was five. We went back to observing the Frisbee game after that along with some crazy-shaped clouds. Tessa and I always see the most random objects in the sky, but that's the fun part. We tried to get Grant to join in--he actually wasn't bad--but he thought his manatee cloud wasn't legit enough. I can't believe I'm actually writing in my journal about a manatee cloud.

August 29th, 2010

Today Ellie said, "Kenzie, I want you to get married now!" Me: "Why?" Ellie: "Because I want you to be a mom!"

September 4th, 2010

Mom wanted to go to the Sundance Outlet Store [while we were in Sugar House], and so Chels, myself, Ellie and Cal sat on the sidewalk by the road and played the alphabet game. Caleb helped Chelsea cheat; whenever she needed a letter, he'd just draw it on his Magna-Doodle. Honestly?! Pretty sure Ellie and Cal are the number one fans in Chelsea's Fan Club.

March 30th, 2011

Today Alejandro and Angelica were talking about math. [Remember these are ten-year-olds]

Alejandro: Math is very easy.

Angelica: For you? For me, no is easy.

Alejandro: Well, I am very intelligent.

April 5th, 2011

Is it weird that I just washed my feet with shampoo because my soap ran out and I don't wanna open a new one five days before I leave?

Is it weird that I wrote Chelsea a brain barf today for her letter?

Is it weird that the people I enjoy speaking Spanish with the most are children?

Is it weird that Alejandro answered every question I asked today with "poop"? Nah...he's a 10-year-old boy. Not strange at all.

Is it weird that I am counting down the number of times I have to use our shower? (down to four more!)

Is it weird that I wrote a journal entry composed entirely of rhetorical questions?

May 17th, 2011

I reserve the right...

...to eat smoothies-in-a-bowl for breakfast. And to lick my lips when I do it, because it's ta-sty.

...to run on treadmills even when the weather's nice because everyone needs a little ESPN classic.

...to play the piano as loud as I can to drown out the voice majors doing drills.

...to file for a teacher I don't even know just so I can hear him rant about politics for an hour and a half. Funny.

...to shower at night so I can wake up with wavy hair.

...to wear my brown boots like everyone else at this school wears TOMS--every stinkin' day.

...to listen to a Phoenix album 3x in one day.

...to eat garlic with dinner every night since the semester started. Twilight fans stay away!

...to want to hike, fish, climb, and camp all summer instead of school. Sometimes you don't get everything you want.

February 9th, 2011

I am really white (mom calls it “fair-skinned” to make me feel better). So when I sat out on the beach for 5 hours on Saturday, I got myself a lovely sunburn. That night I was having trouble walking because I was in so much pain. Hold on, is this a sunburn or is it a tumor?! Well, now my left thigh is swelling up pretty big, turning purple, and yeah, it kinda feels like a tumor. Final conclusion: sun poisoning is bad. I prefer being fair-skinned to being burned and super freckly and my face falling off because it is peeling. Gross.

June 20th, 2010

When I arrived at the airport, Chels and Niki were waiting there with a banner! I sure did miss those girls…obviously they missed me too because I was only gone for 2 ½ days. People standing there waiting probably thought I was coming back from a long vacation or something. Nah, it was just a three day thing. No big.

June 23rd, 2010

In Spanish class, we sang “Viva España” for our opening…um…hymn. I think I laughed through most of it because half of the guys were off-key, half of them couldn’t get the right rhythm, and then the rest of them were singing with the “cecea” (Spanish lisp—those darn RM’s from Barth-e-lona!). Levi said it was probably the worst we’ve ever sounded (accurate…). People walking by the classroom were staring at us like we were a pack of half-crazed wolves howling at the moon. That’s probably what it sounded like… ¡Ay caramba!

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

This morning Chelsea and myself woke up at 5:30 so we could do everyone’s clean check for them. All of the credit for the idea should got to Chelsea, because she is awesome and always thinks of such things. Anyway, it definitely started my day off right because 1, selfless service has a way of making everything in your life better, 2, getting up early is always bomb-diggity because I get to have a good scripture study, a slow breakfast, and a DP [dance party] all before I walk out the door!

NUH-UH

I do not believe this is real. This cannot be real. No. Way.

rained on

Well this is awkward.

This morning I decided to wear a skirt, which is not an unusual decision for me to make on Tuesdays. Tuesdays are devotionals days. Then I went outside, and the wind blew, like it usually does. I held down my skirt frantically, like I always do.

Then the rain started to pour, horizontally I might add. Pretty soon my skirt looked like a waterfall. I was soaking wet--soaking I tell you--when a girl passing by must have noticed I needed a pick-me-up.

"I like your skirt!" [as I'm holding it between my legs]

"Oh..thank you!" I must have sounded like a drowning cat or something.

I don't think she could see my grateful face because it was obscured by my curly wet hair (think Mufasa-style, only after a flash flood).

Then I got into the big Family Foundations meeting in the Taylor Chapel. One of the professors at the door handed me the study guide, which promptly turned into soggy, useless mush when my hands touched it. I'm like King Midas, only I'm not a King, my name is McKenzie, and everything I touch becomes the texture of wet toilet paper, not gold. So...maybe not so much like King Midas.

Also, wearing a coat with a giant hood presents its own set of problems. I can't hear people talking to me if they're off to the side...it's sorta muffled. So if anybody called my name when they saw me walking around campus and I ignored you...I either really don't want to go on that second date with you or I couldn't hear you (that first part was a joke....duh).

And let's not forget about peripheral vision. Meaning, friends, that I have none when I wear that bulky red coat. So let's not talk about how many people I grazed shoulders with/completely ran into today because I truly didn't see them walking there. Oy.

I would post a picture of myself, but I am afraid too many of you will shout "Medusa!" as soon as you see it and run away, never to read this blog again. So we'll just save that for another, less Oregon-y day.

i was happy, so i wrote it down

1. only the best pandora station ever ever ever. ever.

2. raw almonds, in my cereal, in my yogurt, in my mouth. mmmm almonds.

3. this yellow beanie. i wear it all the time. chelsea called it the hobo hat. do you concur?

4. checking out one book every day of the week from the library. i think the librarian man is starting to recognize me. he even calls me by name. that sly fox.

5. spring starting to show its face. i know it's rainy, but that's the equivalent of an oregon spring to me, so. it's a start.

6. writing brain barfs for class. brother cameron told us to write one based on a prompt he got from 2 Nephi when Nephi says "I glory in my Jesus." Hence this:

My Jesus is running into that burning building, teetering one way or the other, not knowing if he is coming out again, he is falling asleep wondering about his children, what they will become, if they will remember everything he taught them, he is watching a friend stumble, down and down, only to be there at the bottom, already waiting with arms oustretched, he is watching carefully out the window when the thunderstorms roll in with such precision he made, he is waiting for the moment when the light touches the sky just perfectly and then he knows, he knows, he is pulling me up the hill when my legs give out, they just won’t go because I am so imperfect and so weak, there he is again to tell me of course you can, so I do it, he is walking on trails in the forest, listening for the sound of the sea, thinking of the questions lost there and how he will answer them all, he is playing music alone.

7. shredding the ivory in the practice rooms in the Snow Building. Sometimes the pianists next door to me get really loud, so we have duets. Yeah, it's kinda cool.

8. deciding what to do with that english major, por fin (that means finally). it involves traveling and teaching english. sounds like me, huh?

9. I'm gonna finish the Book of Mormon by the end of June! And that means I will be 1/4 of the way done with that goal of mine! (see #2)

10. naps+crazy dreams in which my parents give me a giant laptop for graduation and it gets washed away in a giant tsunami. huh?

11. first time at big judd's. ahh yeah.

12. people who dare to walk around rexburg like this:

if she wants to wear a cape, more power to her.

{ha...accidental joke. sorry. i know i'm the only one laughing.}

13. ashley and i's to-do list for the semester. it involves lots of camping, hiking, fishing, rafting, and general mischief. hopefully the weather will soon cooperate. if not, well i guess we'd better get some good rainboots.

14. taco bus twice in one week. it's so delicious, i can't stay away. plus, they have novelas on in there. it's not like i can't watch novelas in my own apartment. it's just that in the taco bus, i don't feel as ashamed for doing so. that is all.

15. this devotional. i can't get it out of my head.

16. everyone who reads this blog and does not comment, because you boost my self-esteem just for reading it (that includes you from iran, france, africa, mexico, and brazil. yes, i know you read my blog, and you are cool for doing so).

overheard

{photo essay by ellie}

I've been hanging out in the library way too much. I made it my goal to not be in there very much this semester. Well, I failed this week, folks. Anywho, whilst I was in the library (dang, using the word "whilst" really ups your I.Q.) I heard some preeety interesting stuff.

guy sitting in front of me at computers: hey, does anyone know how to spell marijuana? (looking at me, so I take out my headphones)

me: say what?

guy: I said, do you know how to spell marijuana?

girl next to me: huh? nope...sorry.

me (laughing): yes. yes I do.

guy (turning back to his computer and looking back expectantly at me): okay...go!

me: M-A-R-I-J-U-A-N-A.

guy: sweet! thanks!

me: nooo problem.

I would just like to say to everyone who was on the 1st floor that day--I have always been a good speller. But I don't do drugs. Alright? Alright.

other conversations I really got a kick out of this week:

girl, to me, as I rode my bike past the Romney building: wow.

me, looking around strangely, wondering if she was talking to me for real: .......

girl: I mean, wow. I bet your legs are, like, SUPER strong. Seriously. I could not go up this hill on a bike. Wow. [FYI there is no hill where I was biking....now picture my confused expression]

me: oh...heheh...yeah. [pedaling away]

Was I supposed to say thanks? Oh awkward moments...they follow me like luck follows the Irish.

Not so lucky for me.

In Family Foundations {pretty appropriate considering the conversation}

guy: are those rhinestone feathers on your earrings?

girl: what? are you making fun of me? [classic girl tactic. she doesn't want to act flattered that the guy noticed her earrings, so she goes for the ol' "flirting by being put off" technique]

guy: No! I'm just curious. [poor guy]

girl: You're always making fun of me. [man, she's good.]

guy: No, I'm not. Do you need a hug to make you feel better? [and this guy is the epitome of smooth. like butter, i tell you]

girl: No.

guy: Are you sure?

girl: Yes.

guy: Well, for the record, I like the earrings. You know rhinestone feathers were popular with Britney Spears a few years back.

girl: I don't think you should know that.

guy: I have five sisters. I know a lot of things I shouldn't.

girl: wow.

tessa and I's text conversations:

me: fasting for 24 hours is awesome except for the fact that I ate 3 helpings of dinner. ahh so good.

tessa: haha you just got major blessings!

me: yeah I drank like 32 oz. of water in 10 minutes too.

tessa: oh my gosh you camel.

me: for reals. also I took an hour long nap today and I'm still tired. fasting takes it out of you!

tessa: yeah it does! At least that's what Jesus told me.

another convo:

me: dude we got osama and he's dead! turn on the news!

tessa: what?!?!? oh my gosh!!!!

me: I read in scribber study today about Nephi cutting off Laban's head. Co-inky-dink!

tessa: Bahaha. Definitely a foreshadowing there.

don't judge us because we talk about religious stuff via text messaging....

more craziness to come, folks. much more.

p.s. does it bother you that I call you "folks"? Because it bothers me. Partly because I don't know who you are, exactly, and "folks" is an old word. Do you know what I mean? Okay nevermind.

draggin' my feet

Sorry I've been off the grid lately. It was kind of intentional, you know, to make you guys miss me.

Did it work?

Don't answer that.

I have some saweet posts coming up, but for now, I just wanted to let you know I'm still alive, still crankin' out 8 hours of homework a day (who has time for eating and sleeping, I mean really, who?!), still wanting to be outside all of the time but sadly I didn't sign up for that class ("that" class being the nonexistent one where we just hang out in the mountains all day long), still living in the dadgum library.

For now I'll leave you with the weirdest ad that has ever come up on my Pandora station:

Obnoxious lady voice: "A bra is a lot like a friend! It's hard to find a good one that supports you just right, but when you find do, it's a great fit for-ev-er."

Is this for real?

"I've had like four quesadillas today"

{from a series known as "mckenzie: bored"}

Today on the way to the library from devotional, I was eavesdropping on a fellow who was walking behind me. I couldn't really help it--he kept saying "cheese" really loudly. I decided to tune in to the rest of the conversation--who can pass up a conversation centered around queso?

...Yeah, me neither.

So anyway, he was bragging to the girl next to him.

cheesehead: I couldn't think of what to eat. But I have lots of cheese.

girl: oh, really?

cheesehead: Yeah, like four blocks. I LOVE cheese! LOVE it!

girl:

cheesehead: I've had, like, four quesadillas today. Why not have another one?

girl:

cheesehead: [awkwardly laughing] Well, I gotta go to class.

Just thought I'd share that with you all. Happy Tuesday.

oh..and I guess this is my 200th post. All of you who lurk on my blog are welcome to leave a comment. I prefer funny stories, anecdotes, or song lyrics please. Anything else and you are banned from this blog.

{just kidding}

back in blue (not black)

I think I'm finally back. It only took me two weeks...how long does it take for RMs to adjust to coming home? Do they ever adjust all the way? I've never been on a mission but I kinda felt like I had just gotten back from one for the past few weeks. Especially this first week in Rexburg.

I lost my appetite. Nothing sounded good. For 5 days I didn't eat hardly anything (a strange feat if you know me), except for the occasional pb & j. I would see people pull into the drive-in at Ramirez's and have the urge to stop them from ruining their taste buds.

I kept finding notes from Chelsea written to me last semester and I would get a little bit sad.

I went on a 4-mile run (it was also an "angry run" which I can explain later, but lemme tell you, they are pretty effective. ha.) against the 25-MPH winds native to Idaho. I came back to the apartment with a mane for a hairdo and a desire to let the wind blow me right back to Mexico.

I kept spurting out things in Spanish and nobody would understand. I was beginning to count down the days until Spanish Lit started and I could be stuck in a room with funny RMs again.

But then on Tuesday a few things happened:

1) I received 2 letters from Chelsea written to me now, in the present, and she is happy. So I can be happy, too.

2) School started. Turns out what I have been dreading since I landed back in this country is going to be a really good thing. My classes are incredible, as are my professors, and the homework isn't "punch a wall passive-aggressively" worthy.

3) We had our first devotional, and it was my first in the BYU-I Center since its dedication. I love that building--it still smells like new carpet, you know. Plus, I went there with my old friend Amy Mathews, who I learned is still funny as ever (fun fact you probably do not want to know: back in elementary school, when I would go over to Amy's house, I would sometimes bring extra chonies with me because she made me laugh that hard. I thought ahead).

4) I wore spandex for six hours straight. That always adds to the happiness of my day.

5) I ate a huge salad for dinner AND a mango, proof that not only was my appetite back, but I was craving healthy food... Oh and the mango, it was incredibly delicious. I was worried I would hate mangoes when I came back to America, but I don't. You can alert the presses now.

6) I decided not to study in the library so much this semester. Remember how I kinda lived there last year? Well it's too nice outside to be studying in a cubicle....er...it will be soon. In the meantime I'll just have to keep running in spandex and jackets and ignoring the snow.

would you guys like to see what else has been going on in the world of kenzie? thought so. {that wasn't a question}.

i took a 3-hour nap on tuesday. in the words of mr. "hide yo wife hide yo kids," that was so dumb, so dumb, so dumb.

i got an email from my dad which said the following:

"Rudy - we just put some $$ into your account. Now get a razor and shave your legs. Love, dad and mother"

My parents sure are funny. At least my legs will never be wanting in this chilly weather (now for all of you who haven't been reading this blog for very long, that was a joke. I really do shave my legs. And I can't believe I just said that on this blog.)

Rexburg experienced a thunderstorm and I inhaled that lovely rainy smell while I stood in the Spori Quad (yes...I stood outside). Why is it that whenever a huge rainstorm happens I'm the only one left standing in it?

I picked up that early-early morning scripture study again (in Mexico it wasn't as early). Gosh, I love it. And I love Mosiah.

My allergies decided to come back in full-force and now I kinda sound like a man when I don't guzzle enough water to clean my throat out. Doink.

Awkard moment #1 of the semester: I saw someone in the Smith Building (my second home besides the library...you thought I lived at the apartment? Ha!) who, from behind, looked exactly like a girl I know. Spitting back image I tell you! Now, I'm not an expert at identifying people from their back images (yes, I just made up that terminology), but she seriously fooled me. I kinda smacked her backpack like I normally do to get my friends' attention when they aren't facing me. Lucky for her I didn't kick her backpack, which is another attention-getting tactic I use. Well, she turned and I saw her face and all of a sudden I was walking the other way, uttering "sorry" and "fool" to myself. Oh, McKenzie.

The spring semester is now in session. And Kenzie is back to tell you all about it. Get ready...

p.s. it is Easter Weekend! I left you something better than a chocolate bunny: