when the universe speaks...

napoleon=the universe

the doll=me

I keep waking up in the middle of the night for no reason. Is this the universe's way of telling me I'm never going to figure out my life and therefore should deprive myself of sleep in order to figure out said life? I mean really, that sentence made no sense. None. Zilcho.

Conference was good. I cried through most of it. Buuut f'reals. I did. And I'm still crying about it. Is this the universe's way of telling me that every talk was "made for me" and if so I really need to shape up my life? Ack.

October is meandering on by, which I like, because it's my favorite month (don't know why this is suddenly a "blogger cliche," I'm preeeety sure it's a human cliche and therefore not a cliche at all). On the other hand, it means there's only two whole months left of 2012 and two whole months until I am no longer 22, and oh gash, that scares me for no reason. The universe is ignoring me on this one. I get no signals.

Stuff that kind of stresses me out right now: people who scream at me when I'm trying to help them get free money, people who swear at me when I'm trying to help them get free money, people who scream in general, the snail trail I found on my carpet...inside my room, my hair and its never ending need for cuttage, the byui alumni emails I keep receiving because they make me sad and also I'm not down with being called an "alumni" yet, and the presidential debates on TV. Sometimes I think I would rather drink a whole huge can of grape juice in 10 seconds than hear everyone talk argue about politics. For the love. Also, every techonlogical thing I own is broken: my car radio, my iPod, my camera, this computer (been in-viru-fected for a year). Hence the lack of pictures these last few months which actually have to do with me.

Stuff that only stresses me out a little because it affects the rest of my life: the GRE and why does such a test have to be the deciding factor of the rest of my life? also, all my TV shows are back on all at once and I honestly don't have time to watch any of them. So mebbe I will just have one TV show from now on, and it will be Arthur (yeash, the cartoon).

Stuff that doesn't stress me out but it should: the current state of my legs (I'm at the halfway point between "okay" and "sicknasty"), the fact that I still don't know what to be for Halloween, this book I am reading about death and heartbreak and oh gash it really shouldn't be read before bed but I do it and why am I not having nightmares? Also, my perpetual state of singlehood should probably stress me out as well, but it doesn't. It did when I was in Rexburg, though. Then again, Rexburg is the place where all of the diamond store advertisements go to make war on single women. I kid you not.

Well, this has been pretty weird. And I have a headache. Probably from venting all of that stuff onto you. Man, aren't I the best? Betcha can't wait until next time. Maybe I will throw a scruffy picture in just for good measure, so I don't lose all two of my followers (hi parents!).

beautiful person alert

friday list: currently diggin'

Um. Guys. I accidentally started watching prison break. bad idea. because guess what, wentworth miller is the bee's knees. he's only a genius, trying to save his innocent brotha from the electric death. oh yeah, and he makes paper cranes on the side. what the junk? can my future husband please be really manly and yet make paper cranes on the side? thanks. awesome. (that was on the off-chance that my future husband reads this blog. hah.)

AND plus when you watch the show you learn all of this sweet prison lingo like "shank" (a homemade knife) "fish" (the MTC equivalent of "greenie"), and "bust your grapes" (not sure what this one means yet but it's kinda funny).

oh...and it also makes me really grateful that I'm not in prison. Which I won't be anytime soon, unless taking mexican chocolate across the border is illegal.

Sooooo you guys know I like lists, right? Right. I should probably go to some kind of rehab for it. What would we do at this rehab exactly? Maybe they would force me to write all of my separate thoughts into one giant paragraph. Ugh. That would be torturous. I hate huge, long, never ending paragraphs. {yet I am an English major. Analyze that please.}

Anyway. I have conjured up another list of awesomeness for you, to congratulate you on making it to Friday. Not only is it Friday, but according to my calculations, it is almost spring! For all of you who do not live in Mexico (I promise I'm sorry for you), especially in Rexburg, you're probably thinking, "Geesh, when is it gonna be sunny already?" Or, if you are a glass-half-full person like myself, you are thinking, "Geesh, when it is gonna be sunny already?!"

Oh wait.

Those sounded exactly the same.

Guess it needs to be spring already, huh. I'm pretty sure when I get back to the USA in less than a month, it will immediately start acting like spring. I'll bring the Mexican weather back with me for you guys. You're welcome!

On to the friday likey-list. Saying "likey" makes me feel like I'm 7 again, p.s.

1. books. i have a very small library here in mexico. it consists of spencer w. kimball's teachings (good book but not when I wanna just plop myself in bed and read all night long, ya know?), a runner's book, and "1001 pitfalls in spanish." i'm dying. i have a few gagillion things on my must-read list when i get home. guess what, i'll probably finish them in a month. guilty as charged.

2. polaroids. just look at these beauties.

ahhhh yeah. call me shallow.

3. places i would rather be, a.k.a. a photographic "happy place," for those days when I just need to get away. but don't have any monayyyy.

4. the D.I. is so cool. I literally cannot wait until I get to go visit one of these again. Is it weird to miss a thrift store that smells like old books and musty clothes? Yeh. But I am the epitome of weird, soooo. Yeah. No me importa.

5. getting up early!!!! Once upon a time I wrote a journal entry and it was all about how much I wanted to be a morning person. I was tired of being the one who slept in and missed the good pancakes (or the good earthquakes for that matter...urgh). Then a miracle happened. I got up early for scripture study and everything else about my day was better. Guess what? Russell M. Nelson agrees with me. It's for real, folks.

6. funny things my kids say/do

(this is benji in a wrestling belt he fashioned out of his notebook. classy)

today i asked them, "do you guys know what happened in japan today?"

benjamin: "Oh I know!!! A SUSHI! A SUSHI!"

me: you mean...a tsunami?

benji: ohh..yeah...a tsunami.

i think he and grandma bonnie would be friends.

alejandro, when he walked into class today: "Today I am happy, teacher."

me: "Cuz it's Friday?"

him: "No, teacher, cuz I live."

me: "Because you're alive?" [as you can see I have to correct them a lot]

him: "Yeah, because I'm alive."

Always a good reminder.

I read to them from James and the Giant Peach today. The pictures are a little bit...unique. I opened to this page to show them what James looked like. First words out of Alejandro's mouth: "Whoa, he's very ugly, teacher. Verrry ugly."

These girls aren't in my class, but one of them (on the leftie there) is famous for a few lines:

"Some people in the world think that Justin Bieber are gay, because Justin Bieber are gay."

or, a really sweet one that she uses when Teacher Kaitlyn exasperates her:

"Aww, teacher, you are so injustice!"

Dontcha mean unfair sweetheart? Yeahhh.

it comes and goes in waves

{hello, good morning}

This morning when I headed off into the sunrise on my bicycle I made sure that 1) I was fully awake and 2) that it was really Friday. I could tell I was awake because my bike was moving, strangely...and I knew it was Friday because people walking to class were smiling more than usual.

On Sunday I had a strong feeling. If you read my blog a lot, you know I get this feeling a lot. A lot a lot a lot. Well, this time I felt like I needed to start studying my scriptures earlier. Much earlier. For most of my life I've done it before bedtime.

You see, for the entire first week of school I felt like I wasn't getting as much out of my scribber study as I could. Sometimes you think you are doing the best you can, when really you are only doing the "good" or the "better" part. My professors were inadvertently dropping hints about the merits of early mornings all week. So I knew what I had to do. Not to mention that other member of the Godhead. Sometimes He is persistent.

On Monday morning, the alarm went off at 5:30 AM. As of last week, "AM" just stood for "A Mistake," and I went back to sleep. But not this time, baby. I've been going for 5 days now and I can truly say that it was the best move I've made in a long time. However, none of the credit should go to me.

The amazing thing about getting up this early is the effect it has on the rest of my day. I don't usually need a nap, even though on days that I got up at 6:30 just to get ready for school, no scripture study included, I needed a nap. Now I get up an hour earlier and I don't need no nap. Better yet, I pay attention pretty well in my classes and actually participate. Imagine that.

On Monday, day one, my journal entry looked like this:

"Here's what happened today as a result of this amazing thing called fervent scripture study:

I got everything+then some done on my To-Do list in a good amount of time; managed time wisely

Was able to understand what went on in Spanish class, and I liked it

Asked the right questions

Ate healthy, exercised, no problem, mon

Went to work and loved it--did I mention I have 7 students and I got a raise?!

Wanted to smile at everyone and I think I did...

Couldn't litter...haha. "My conscience was pricked" as the gum wrapper fell...

Rode my bike uphill to class and smiled for most of it

Acted like my crazy self, and that's OK

Gave a spiritual thought for FHE which really wasn't from me, if you know what I mean

less sarcastic, more loving

got on the Jamba Juice wall! Alright, this has nothing to do with my morning scripture study. I just had to say it.

High self-esteem

More sincere prayers

Made my bed! This is epic for sure. "

some habits come and go in waves.

we stop biting our nails off, but we keep chewing them.
we give up sugar, but not chocolate (yeah, right).
we resolve to make more friends, but then we just smile at people.
the gym fills up in january, then gradually empties by march.
we say our morning prayers, but then by friday we're sleeping through them.
every week we promise to remember Him, to take upon us His name, but every week we have to be reminded again.

it's ok, because it's human nature.

But I also know that our Creator intended for us to become something. We're made from the same mold as diety. Remember? So we should be able to do this kind of stuff, getting up at 5:30.

I'm pretty sure God is a morning person, anyway.

Let's hope this habit comes and stays.