side braid + poem

yes, i know the light in this picture is eerie. but it's kind of october-y and halloween-y, right? that's the look I was going for. Oh, and my orange lamp was on. That might've had something to do with it.

it's halloween weekend, and I am in rexburg.

but I'm ok with this.

last night some people from our ward came to our house dressed like zombies. my roommate screamed bloody murder (no, literally). they were pretty freaky, sticking their bloody arms through the door and everything. so I did what anyone being chased by zombies would do--I invited them to have prayer with us.

and they did.

even more randomness:

I'm giving a talk on Sunday about tithing settlement (pray, people, pray).

today in science class we looked at a cadaver. happy halloween, right?

It's amazing how easily I could eat my lunch after that little session in the formaldehyde-laden lab. *shudder*

for now, I shall leave you with a poem I wrote a few days ago.

going to bed with wet hair, october 25th

this afternoon I had fallen asleep

again at my desk with the window

wide open and breathing its fierce sorrows onto

me, and then, like a thousand bad endings, I

woke up three times.

the leaves are like embers, stoked by the turn

of October to November,

relentless.

that dream within itself was only

a fragment of an avalanche, a splintered foundation

for now I can hardly breathe when I walk

up the hill through the thick screen of ice,

suspended in the air.

it's not so much that the earth, gasping

on its deathbed again (silently silently)

leaves us, in the remnants of its

redandorange dignity,

no.

it's the slight noise the leaf makes when it falls,

the clouds wrinkling the already aged sky.

mother says that the mountains could hold out,

and be preserved through the storm.

-ml

happy halloween eve-eve!!!

oh and good luck to chelsea and sarah tomorrow! they're running 13.1 miles! wahoooo!

love, mcfrenzy

just a little sad...

....because I probably won't get to see it this year.

into the deep end we go

Before drifting off into nap-world today after stake conference, I read a poem about onions. It made me want to start my "poem-a-day" thing again. I liked that thing I did, once upon a time in high school.

This past week I've felt like I was racing against an avalanche...and guess what? I outran it. All because of a wonderful thing called the weekend, and in particular, the Sunday part of the weekend.

But I know that the difficulties aren't going to end now that I've been refreshed, now that I've renewed my covenants, Now that I've looked back on mistakes I've made in the past week and resolved not to make them again, because of the time I lost, because of the Thursday I had (remember that post? I'm sorry about that post. Still.). Nope, the test isn't over until that trumpet starts playing some tunes, and even then, I know that the learning by trial and error will still continue.

That brings comfort to my heart. Because I know I'm not perfect or anywhere close to it right now, but I also know that I can become perfect through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that everybody has that chance! Isn't that a miracle? Yeah, it is.

So onto the next week, the next challenge, the next tumble onto the hard pavement (metaphorically speaking...at least, I hope so), and the next goal to overcome.

"Faith as the assurance of things hoped for looks to the future. This assurance is founded upon a correct understanding about, and trust in, God and enables us to 'press forward' (2 Nephi 31:20) into uncertain and often challenging situations in the service of the Savior." -David A. Bednar

-lurv, mckenzers-

'tis one of those days

(back in the day when school wasn't stressful. a.k.a. freshman year)

I'm not a fan of blog posts where the blogger vents all of their frustrations onto the world.

And yet, I really want to break my own rule today.

My middle finger has a bruise, because today it got poked (good news: my triglyceride levels are muy, muy low).

I can't catch up on the homework. It never ends. It's like an avalanche, I tell you.

I keep sleeping in through scripture study time and it is really affecting my day.

I want to run every day and I cannot seem to find the time. I know it's all about making the time, but I think I'm still learning how to do this.

I took a science test today which I didn't feel very good about. In fact, I didn't even bother waiting to see what my score was.

I haven't ridden my bike for 24 hours. I'm pretty sure that that's contributing to my slight madness right now. I'm about 75% positive.

It's kind of hurting me to type this...

And I miss a lot of old friends right now who are far away from me.

SO. I'm stopping now with the lame-ness. I'm gonna go make some roasted cauliflower soup. Ike is gonna come over to eat it. I asked him last night if he would eat cauliflower soup. His response: "Cauliflower soup?! Did you seriously just ask me that?" My response: "It's gonna be delicious. Trust me. You might like it." His surrender: "Might as well."

Attaboy.

Here's to tomorrow, which just so happens to be Friday. Oh please, McKenz, please do not sleep through your scripture study alarm tomorrow. And also don't stress about missing Spanish so you can give plasma so you can have money to go to Mexico to speak better Spanish. Did you see what I just did?

That right there is called a cosmic connection, folks.

over and out!

(oh and I'm sorry for the weepy post. First and last weepy post, I promise.)

don't you wish your weekend was awesome like mine?

(stolen from tessa)

there are lots of things in my life that i really love.

that's why i created the happy list monday thang.

and today, my happy list is all about what i done did,

this weekend, which was a 20 on a scale from 1-10.

yeah, that good.

1. getting engaged.
2. hahahahaha....you people are gullible (if you are experiencing a bout of monday slow-ness, #1 is a farce simply thrown in the list to wake you up. c'mon, it's only 5:30. you can make it to 8!!)
3. Ok, but seriously now. Autumn is my favorite time of year. How many times do I have to say it? The weather has been most excellent all during October, which has allowed me to really relish it. Relish. It is such a great word.
4. Road-trippin' it with the Bedke Sisters. We played POTI MASH (sounds appealing because it is), the gratitude game, the self-esteem game, hot seat, and visited their Uncle Grant (for all of you Livingston's reading this, think Grandma Great's house). I'm grateful for people who have basements full of tomatoes. They remind me that all is right with the world.
5. Q&A's. But not just any Q&A (like those conducted late at night after too much fro-yo)...no, this was with Elder Bednar. I loved the way he answered most of the questions with a principle or a scripture. One of my favorite one-liners was something along the lines of: "'Self-worth stems from the root word 'worthiness.'" In other words, those who are the most happy with themselves have a good relationship with their Father in Heaven and cultivate a life of righteousness. Love it!
6. Speaking of frozen yogurt....pumpkin spice frozen yogurt+wayyy too much graham cracker topping ("like a sandcastle in your throat," as a wise woman once said) is kind of delicious on an October night.
7. Accidentally coming upon "Fork Fest" (raise your virtual hand if you know what I'm talking about. Actually, don't, because that will make me feel better if you were as ignorant as I was). This happens to be a free band festival that apparently American Fork does. WITH JOSHUA JAMES. Apparently American Fork is "down" and "happenin'" and "the stuff," and I just don't know anything about being down or happenin' or being the stuff. But we went anyway. AND that leads to the next happy list thing...
8. The girl dancing in front of us at the concert. I bet she's all over YouTube by now. It was some mixture of yoga, hula, and...well I'm not sure what else.
9. Taking craaazy photographs with TP and Allie Love (click on the link at the top for some more) at the park using only a park bench and our imaginations. Sometimes...our imaginations get a little bit out of control. I place all responsibility in the hands of the dancing girl and the frozen yogurt.
10. Another beautiful Sunday in American Fork. I remember when we moved into our house 5 years ago this month, I was a bit skeptical about it (hello, I was 15 and knew everything). But it was autumn. And the reddish-goldish mountains were right there by my house. And the guys in the ward did help move our stuff in. Autumn+American Fork=a good first impression.

it is halfway through October. get out your kleenex.

love, the mckenzers

from wednesday to monday, yessiree.

this is something like a "weekend update," only not the seth myers kind. because #1, I'm not seth meyers, and #2, his w.u.'s are much more abbreviated and probably funnier.

right now I'm on the third floor of the library, which always smells like burning plastic. there's a guy behind me whose voice is...um...really loud. but it's the third floor, so nobody is giving him the the hairy eyeball. at least not from where he can see [as I hunch even lower behind my computer screen...].


I decided to include Wednesday in this post only because something rather scandalous happened to me on that day. In a certain shiny, white building on the hill. Don't worry, it gets better (only what could be better than that last sentence, I submit to you?).


I had just gotten "done" (which is a relative term, you will come to realize) getting dressed in my lovely jumpsuit before doing baptisms. I walked out to the vanity to put my hair up in a ponytail. Work that up-do. Anyway. It's a good thing Chelsea Ann Bedke was there, too, so she could point out something I had missed.


A little something called the zipper.


Many of you have underestimated the importance of the zipper until you are standing in front of a group of people (be it the Elders' Quorum, Relief Society, or any congregation bigger than 1 person....) and all of a sudden you feel a breeze....where you shouldn't be feeling a breeze. Then you try not to be conspicuous as you conduct the entire rest of your speech/lesson facing the chalkboard.


Well, when you're wearing this kind of jumpsuit, the baptism kind, the zipper kind of makes the outfit. If you forget it, you (and everyone else around you) will pay for it.


Chels: "Uhh, are you gonna zip up that jumpsuit?"
Me: "Huh?" (Looks down and sees zipper....really far down. I'm not going to be very descriptive for the children's sake who listen to this blog as their bedtime stories)
Chels: "Yeahhh."
Me: "I knew I was forgetting something..." (Zips up jumpsuit. About 5 minutes too late.)
We laughed all the way down the hall and when we got to the chapel. Eventually Chels had to excuse herself because we were making a disturbance. Sometimes I think I laugh too much.

Phew, glad I got that off my chest.


Now for the glorious weekend update.

friday:

a trip to WinCo: in which I bought enough produce to feed a slew of farm animals for weeks. or maybe just one really hungry farm animal. me.

a spontaneous dance party: while doing the dishes at 12am. Didn't know some of my roommates could move like that, but I guess Michael Jackson can do that to you.

a discovery: high-fiber cereal that tastes like cardboard tastes a lot better when it's on top of some zoi and covered in nectarines and almonds. delish.

saturday:

a good morning: scripture study in Moroni 7 and a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. I simultaneously lowered my cholesterol and my desire to judge others.

a bike ride: pedaling through a very beautiful, autumny rexburg for almost 2 hours. I discovered a bridge over the South Fork Teton River and sat there for awhile, notebook in hand. Don't worry, Dad.

a second showing: Inception. It's true that it's better the second time. Plus I now understand that wonderful ending a little better. And I want to sleep more. But how is that any different than my life before? :)

a new talent: popping popcorn on the stove. besides, i like it burnt.

sunday:
an ivory shredder: that would be yours truly, playin' hymns for Relief Society that nobody knows. I like to employ the element of surprise in my calling. Who says the pianist can't lead an exciting life?

a flashback or two: watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers & Meet Me in St. Louis, basking in the pieces of my childhood which I always remember when I watch those movies. And I think that a BYU-Idaho alum must've written the song "Bless Your Beautiful Hide." Just sayin'.

a roommate potluck: my roomates are good cooks and even better sharers. Chels, as she took a bite of her pot roast, "We are going to be such good wives." Go Chelsea go!

a group study session: in Preach My Gospel, a really cool book. You should read it sometime.

monday:

an early morning: scripture study, learning about consecration all week long.

a class: where we studied one of my all-time favorite talks. no, I'm serious guys. We watched it because watching this man talk is an experience in and of itself.

an exam: an oral exam, to be exact, speaking in spanish with my teacher one-on-one for an allotted amount of time. the prognosis: I am about as good as any return-missionary. Oh, ok. Wait...what?!

a rainy bike ride: getting soaked while coasting downhill never gets old.


and now, I'm in the library, still listening to that guy practically shouting behind me. that was an epic-ally long post. I don't blame you for not reading it. but for those of you who did, it was awesome, was it not (my weekend, not the post)?

p.s. I am a little bit poor but I am determined to go to Mexico in January. For those of you who have helped so far, there's no way I could thank you enough! But expect a thank-you card, anyway. :) If you would like to help even more, just click on this link. It will make you take a survey about your school. I know some of you aren't in school anymore, but just pretend you're still in college and write what you remember: http://collegeprowler.com/survey/mckenz22/

and i slept and i slept and i slept

i know, my grammar is terrible today.

but honestly that conference weekend wasn't nearly long enough for me. so i am going to have bad grammar just this once (and i'm even de-capitalizing the i's. de-capitalizing probably isn't a word, either. for shame!).

i did successfully make the pumpkin pancakes with nutmeg whipped cream. here's the recipe (don't deny you want it)...oh and I used buttermilk instead of milk+vinegar. just fyi. the nutmeg whipped cream was a mixture of whipped cream...and nutmeg (so much for the element of surprise), plus a little bit of sugar and vanilla extract.

i did enjoy every conference talk, most especially D. Todd Christofferson's, President Eyring's, and Dieter F. Uchtdorf's. They were speaking right to me, I think. But isn't that how is always is?

oops. i deviated from my bad grammar streak. sorry, i know you were enjoying it.

i did go to the annual familiy photo shoot, but alas, the leaves had not yet turned so we didn't go up the canyon. that and everybody seemed to be in a hurry. but that's how conference weekend is when you have to get back to rexburg by sunday night. noodles (kenzie-slang for "dangit").

one thing i did not seem to have the easiest time doing this weekend was sleeping. and i really needed to catch up on sleep (remember the whole part about me being in college? ok, just checkin'). monday morning came and i still hadn't caught up. i usually take a nap in between my 10am class and my 11:30 class. guess when I woke up?

11:30.

consider this my first and last missed class of the semester. i really hate missing class, honestly, i do! but i think i just needed that sleep. my nap lasted for a glorious 2.5 hours. i could make a list of everything i might have accomplished in that amount of time, but i think sleeping was what i would have ended up doing anyway.

alas, now i have a little bit more energy than i usually do at 4:30 on monday afternoon, so i think i will go and sweat it out before the rain really comes bustin' out of the clouds. yep, the weather finally realized it was october and changed its mind about being 70 degrees all of the time.

i can't say i'm disappointed. see #3 on happy list below.

today mcfrenzy is happy because:

1. she said the blessing on her and chelsea's food in spanish. hasn't done that in awhile.

2. she imagined herself at the top of a mountain overlooking Puebla, Mexico. good image.

3. she walked home from the library enjoying the musty smell of rain, leaves, and autumness.

4. she wore her purple striped shirt with the buttons and everybody complimented her on it.

5. she rode her bike to the grocery store for bananas. there's something very fulfilling about riding your bike to the grocery store in autumn.

6. she fell asleep reading her book of contemporary american poetry and felt like spending the whole day writing poems. but don't worry, she didn't. she just slept some more. :)

7. she decided to write an entire happy list in 3rd person.

8. she listened to mister jack johnson sing "imagine" and realized she liked it better than the original. sorry, john.

9. she found the most amazing scripture in Ether 12:4, please go read it.

10. she woke up and realized she missed her family a lot. she just saw them, what is wrong with her? oh well.

11. she got to sit in the park above the valley and talk to TP on Saturday night. only thirty minutes, but she just really likes that girl and that park, so the combination of the two made the short amount of time worth it. oh and elder greene, he's the bee's knees.

12. she saw a picture of griffey that was really old but made her smile so hard she almost cried. her parents liked it too. and yes, she hijacked it so all of you could see it. thanks, TP.

happy monday :)

is that a harmonica i hear?

( it's a friday piksha...oh and it reminds me of catherine creek )

It's kind of early (translation: I'm pretty dang tired). This morning my alarm beckoned at 6 am (still getting used to it) for scripture study. Which was very good, by the way. Did you know that we get to have a member of the Godhead with us all the time? Try and deny how awesome that is.

My original intent after getting out of Spanish early today was to do some homework in the library until 9, when I have a tutoring sesh. But of course I got sidetracked by the harmonica coming from someone's cubicle in the east wing. I guess if that's how they're gonna celebrate their Friday, more power to 'em. If only I had brought mine, we could've had a duet!

On Conference Weekend, Rexburg empties like my fridge sometimes empties onto the floor...slowly and subtly, but then all of a sudden you trip on the puddle and...oh wait, that has nothing to do with people leaving Rexburg. But you know what I mean. More than half of the students in Spanish were m.i.a. Part of me wishes I was on the road, too, but I know that half of the journey is the getting there. And holy moley, that was really deep for a Friday morning. I can almost hear your applause.

Friends, I have approximately 1 hour of class, 1 hour of work, and (maybe...maybe...maybe) 1 hour of nap to go. The 4 hours of driving time, well, that's part of the fun cause I'll be with the Goppster.

your devoted harmonica-playa,

mcfrenzal

p.s. happy anniversary to my parents! you make me want to be lo mejor.