the joys of (not) having a gall bladder

a picture of me back when i had a gall bladder (i.e. every day of my life up until july 23rd)

caleb's head is resting right about where my gall bladder used to be. awww. 

I'm still in a drug-induced haze, so we'll see how this blog even turns out. Here's the diet coke version (heh, I picked that up from my Spanish professor. But not anything Spanish-related...)

Starting last Monday, the 16th, I was going about my regular bidnez (work, exercise, eat, sleep, read, shower, blah blah). I had just eaten a loverly dinner of chicken and rice with broccoli. Normally I don't go into that much detail but it's important that you know what my last meal was before all this nonsense went down. Right in the middle of FHE, I felt a strange pain in my side, like I was being stabbed. Ugh! I've had weird stomach problems for who knows how long, but had never felt anything like this. I've been off of gluten, dairy, sugar, you know, the works. Nothing helped. My body refused to cooperate. I became a food snob, went on stupid diets, worked out like a crazy person. And yet, not too much changed.

So back to this epic stomachache. I took some medication and tried to lay down so the pain would leave, because I figured it was just a dumb stomachache. But it got worse, and then I couldn't breathe. What the junk?! This was not a regular stomachache. I asked my dad for a blessing, after which I promptly threw up three times. Awesome. I figured that would be all. Just to be safe, I called in sick the next day. For the next few days I didn't eat much besides saltines, applesauce, apple juice. Just fyi, saltines aren't food. They are simply the color beige plus a little salt on top. Not. Food. So of course I was starving, but everything else made my stomach hurt like hades.

On Friday morning, I was at work for one hour and started to feel pukey again. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that toast!" Word to my homefries: if a piece of toast is upsetting your stomach, you've got problems.  I couldn't sit without being in excruciating pain. Guess what, I sit all day long at work. So I decided to go home yet again and see if I could sleep it off. The pain steadily got worse. We went to urgent care, and the doctor there said I wasn't showing any "classic symptoms" for any one thing. Earlier in the week I had googled my symptoms and had a hunch it was something to do with my gall bladder. He told me it might be that but my blood test wouldn't come back 'til Monday. I took some more medicine and went to sleep. Then when I woke up I did a really dumb thing and ate some food, which induced yet another painful episode.

Cue some more throwing up, more pain, and prayers that it would just be over. When the doctor asks you what your pain is on a scale from 1-10, and you say "ten," that's a sign...to go to the hospital. I didn't know this. I thought I could endure it, but Saturday was the straw that broke this redheaded camel's back (whoa, weird image, am I right?). When I got to the E.R., I was in a weird state. I was in so much pain that it was almost like an out of body experience...I can't really explain it, but I knew I was in trouble. They asked me my pain level, and I think I mumbled "eight," but I didn't want them panicking on me. Hello, McFrenzy, this is the E.R. People get paid to go into panic mode here. Again, the pain was distorting everything.

I remember them putting me on a hospital bed and sticking me with an I.V. Usually I don't like getting poked with needles but by this point it felt like I was getting hugged by a Care Bear compared to the pain in my stomach. Then the most glorious thing ever happened! They gave me pain medication (apparently ten times stronger than morphine, boo-ya). I don't condone drugs, people, but after the pain I'd experienced, it was celestial. Ok, maybe I shouldn't compare pain medication to the celestial kingdom...but GUYS. I will always remember that moment when the pain went away. I know I did embarrassing things and I know I was reduced to a cavewoman (in terms of my speech), but I couldn't feel the pain anymore! YESSS!

For the next few days, I sat in my hospital bed and waited patiently for the doctor to say they would take out my gall bladder, which they did! On Monday morning they told me I was going in for surgery. The last thing I remember was them saying, "Okay, we're going to give you some Valium first..." which made me dizzy, but not totally asleep, and then they said, "We're putting this oxygen mask on your face, okay?" BAM. Lights out.

Other things to note: hospital gowns are never, ever flattering on anybody; chicken broth can be the best meal in the world when you haven't eaten for three days; popsicles are great for sore throats; the cooking channel and the food network are sadistic things to watch when you can't eat anything; you shouldn't invite your friends to come visit you because they'll laugh at everything you do (drugs=bad); if you start to feel any pain the nurse will inject you with that 10x stronger than morphine stuff (drugs=good); scars can be cool; people are actually very good; Priesthood blessings are the bee's knees; God really does answer your prayers but it's His timing that counts; showering with an I.V. is awkward; drugs make your dreams even more psycho; remote-controlled beds are overrated; fireworks are only fun if you can see them, otherwise they are really scary; getting an ultrasound when you're heavily medicated is like being in the Willy Wonka movie from the 60's.

Thus concludes the life of my crazy gall bladder. May you rest in peace.

finals are for wimps

Today in the midst of a zombie-eyed stupor, I thought of a brilliant, anti-finals-week post. The idea came from Sunday School...now before you all go running to a different blog, listen up. Our teacher had us raise our hands and tell her talents of others in the room. My roommate Caitlyn spoke up and told everyone that my talent was laughing. Huh? At first I was like, "Hey now, that's not exactly a talent...sometimes it gets me into trouble." Ok, I didn't say that. I didn't say anything, actually. I just laughed. JK, JK. But it got me thinking...yeah...I do laugh a lot. I fact, I probably laugh a little too much. And yet, what exactly is the "quota" of laughter for a 21-year old girl? I think it's limitless. And now, the proof.

that entire night was spent laughing. my abs looked gooood in the mornin'.

exhibit b: someone tried to take a regular photograph and I could not hold in my laughter about something. And, as you can see, when I laugh, Caitlyn laughs.

my face! I mean really.

from my younger years. I haven't changed much.

caitlyn+me=inevitable laughter.

courtney was behind the camera, and I know, I just know she said something to make me laugh. She does that!

Ahh, Sister Bedke. How can you not laugh when you're with her?

"Look, I'm manhandling a gun and I don't know how! I'll just show off all my chins instead! Ha-ha-ha!"

do I really have to explain myself here?

So maybe it's not that I laugh too much...I just surround myself with really funny people.

Yep. That's it.

pssst...all of you lurkers are wimps too for not commenting. yes, I said it.

funny stuff etc.

(disclaimer: this is longish so I have inserted funny pictures from my tumblr to ensure you keep reading 'til the end. okay then)

Right now I am feeling a little craaazy because maybe I just got back from running and the endorphins are coursing through my vessels. Although it feels more like 7Up at the moment. Many times in my life I have done stupid-ish things after a run because I felt invincible. Then, hours, weeks, months, or years later, I facepalmed my stupidity. Join me!

• (I'm pretty sure everyone's heard this story, but I think it's chilarious. I'm not sure which word I just combined with hilarious...I'll get back to you on that.) ANYWHO. Once after a particularly rough x-country practice, me and the Lizard were told by our coach to go home and eat a big plate of pasta with broccoli. You don't understand how much we did not want broccoli. Or pasta. We inhaled pasta most of the time. So what did we do? Just had her mom drive us down the road to Carl's Jr., where we both inhaled 2 burgers...each. One of the proudest moments of my life.
• Once I called up a friend to help me with a really embarrassing assignment after I ran 3 miles. It was one of the most embarrassing things I ever had to do for 20 points and an A. But worth it in the end. If you want more of this story, you can ask me.
  
• There was this one time I ran a 10k and accidentally ran an extra mile...so actually the crazy thing happened during my run. But oh well.
• Then there was the Ragnar. I'm not even gonna talk about all the locomotive stuff from that race. But let me just say that I ran my first leg, sat in a car, ate too many bananas and larabars, slept on a sleeping bag in an unfinished basement on a cement floor, then ran up a hill in the dark at 12:30am when I really shouldn't have been running. But I did it. Crazysauce.
• I remember one run in high school which I did on a summery night. Naturally, I was pretty hot after the run was over, so I simply jumped into the half-full kiddie pool in our backyard. In my running clothes. My dad came outside and gave me the weirdest look, and then went back in. Psh. He didn't know what he was missing!
  

As you can see, endorphins make me do pretty nutso things. But in the end they end up being really good things...so I guess what I'm trying to say is run instead of doing drugs. It's a natural high, and the consequences are a jillion times better.

So maybe this blog will end up being a good thing later down the road...because right now, as I'm writing it...it just feels like some half-crazed idea spawned by another run. Excuses, excuses.

Another funny thing I'd like to share is the google searches people have done to happen upon this blog. P.S. I love saying "happen upon." It makes me feel British, almost (if that wasn't stereotypical, I don't know what is). Here is a sampling:

redhead nerds
the truth about gingers
(a British person totally did this one, who else says "gingers" instead of "redheads"!!!!)
ugly coveralls (wait, it gets better)
bob dylan can't sing
wearing those overalls (again with the overalls...)
pigtails redhead
fat redhead nerds (watch it)
redheads are my weakness (oh really...)
barf meaning (this one kills me!)
go back to mexico (I will, someday)
Thanks to google my blog is being read by people in Sweden, The Netherlands, India, Brazil, France, Israel, Ukraine, Russia, Mexico, Argentina, and Punjab (that was the barf one...haha). Please make yourself known, lurkers!

And last but definitely not least, I'd like to introduce my dear friend Tessa. She and I have the greatest conversations. Here's a little taste of what I get every day on my phone.

me: "We found a rattlesnake and my uncle shot it three times. Ick."
TP: "I've never seen anything get shot besides the air."

TP: "Once again I think it's a for my own entertainment crush."
me: "Oh you mean like ____ and ____ and ___ were?"
TP: "Yeah....uh..."

Me: "We just went to Macey's and ate ice cream and talked about relationship problems."
TP: "Oh dear. Well a club should be made called dating drags."

TP: "I can't believe I forgot about that! [a funny incident which cannot be shared on the www]
me: how'd you forget a gem like that?!
tp: I don't know but it was funny when I got reminded.
Me: I have a funny bank. I make deposits into it regularly. Then I remember it later and withdraw.

me: Why'd she have to get pregnant?
tp: rude
me: I can't wait until you're pregnant and then when you can't hang out with me as much anymore I'll just say you're rude.
tp: haha and i'll do the same to you.
me: thanks! Glad we could be there for each other.

me: When you kiss someone it should be right after you eat ice cream or something sweet like that.
tp: Mm or chocolate! Not ice cream...it makes your lips cold and then they feel like they're kissing a dead person. Which is super funny when it isn't one of your first kisses with them.
me: maybe I should just say I'm allergic...but that would be a horrible lie because ice cream is my favorite food. boys and ice cream, that is.


tp [while watching sound of music]: The weeeee! scene just happened. So good. Along with the one right after, favorite things. Remind me to say weeee after my next first kiss.

me: hahhaha ok...if i"m there I'll remind you. Which might be awkward.

tp: I just changed another diaper...
me: Oh I remember those days!
tp: oh the joys of poop.
yeah....that happened.

tp: I just swam...swam is a loose term because I don't remember the last time I put my head under water.
me: That's the traditional way...otherwise it's called drowning.
tp: ahha that's quite true. By head up I just meant not in water...ever...
me: true.

flashback!

oldish things on my camera you never saw be' fo.

yep, we took pictures in the rigby idaho tv museum bathroom. phew. what a title!

and what babes, no?!

she'd kill me if she saw this. but guess what, she's in south america, haaaa!!!

in case you were doubting how many freckles i actually get in the summertime,

there's your proof. and also evidence that i am pretty crazy.

she can ride her bike with no handlebars, no handlebars, no handlebars.

nevermind.

word: I miss these people.

more freckles+a double chin, wasssssup!

view from the church offices building. nice place, temple square.

the first trick she wanted to show me when i got home from mexico was this.


maybe we like to go to the toy section at target late at night...and maybe you're jealous.


fun fact: allie likes wedding stuff to the extreme.
more fun fact: tessa likes to sit on her lap while she reads wedding magazines.
aren't they great, though?

this picture is just funny. this is how it went down.
"hey taylor, can I take your picture?"
"wha?"
*SNAP*
too late, deed done.


lori: "aww, why do we always have to get a booty picture?"


look who found his way into my poetry anthology!


a little over a year ago, I was at the oregon coast. sigh.

ellie's never been a very avid hiker. so when we got to the top of the church offices building, what did she do? take a nap of course...what would you have done?

next up: the day we went to Rigby and stuff...

happiness, otra vez

I seem to be drowning in happiness these days. I guess 78 degree weather, sandal tans, frisbee and bike riding can do that to you.

1. Confession: I wouldn't mind living on a farm when I grow up. That's why I kind of really like this blog.

2. twizlberry. the only place in town that has sugar-free frozen yogurt. how many more weeks of this, mom?!

3. amy mathews. not just her blog....even though it is pretty amazing, I like the person better. We go to taco bus together and watch really awful movies (cough-the tourist-cough)

{please ignore my overly tanned face. it's mexico's fault. promise i don't fake bake or wear orange makeup.}

4. THE SUN. is. finally. here. oh how i love it.

5. it's called coconut shampoo, and it makes my hair smell like pina colada. definitely a good thing.

6. an excerpt from "Never Sniff a Gift Fish." I have read and re-read this page a number of times since checking out the book. I don't know why but it makes me laugh out loud every time. Okay, I know why. Just read it:

7. cinnamon. I put it on everything. No, serious, everything. My apples, my cereal, my yogurt, my PB&J, my banana smoothie. Good thing it's only fitty cents at Wally World, cuz I am a pobrecita.

8. When the automatic door at Wal-Mart is out of order and I make a big show of trying to magically open it with wave of my arms. And then I see the Out of Order sign, obscured by tinted glass. Awkward moments abound.

9. jumping off of sand dunes in the middle of nowhere + other mischief. because what else is there to do here on a friday night?

favorite quotes:

erin: "there's a hole in my pants and some sand is leaking out of it...."

me: "you're like a broken hackey-sack!"

anonymous person: "do you think anyone can see me in here with my pants off?"

random guys we didn't know: ooga-booga-ooga-booga!!!!! (think my old high school mascot)

me: did they just do a neanderthal mating call? what was that?

rachel: my comm teacher says it's gonna get all rainy and gross again next week, because that's what always happens when it gets this nice out. people dress immodestly, so God punishes us by bringing back the yucky weather.

HA!! only at BYU-I.

10. playing legitimate quidditch in the park, minus the brooms. I felt like a fool the whole time. Dan, if you're reading this, you're gonna pay. Don't worry, though, cuz I convinced Erin to "fake-injure" me so we could get out of the game. We are sly. And I'm a good actress when it comes to screaming and holding my leg in agony.

11. yummy salads for lunch. um...you're drooling on your keyboard.

12. random thunderstorms in the middle of a springy day. I love it when the sun is shining and rain is pounding the ground at the same time.

13. taking walks with Courtney Gopp like we're freshman again, even though that was three years ago, and I can't believe how much has changed since then. And how much is the same.

14. when sand fills up my tennies and then I have to walk all funny, like a penguin. My life is really good.

15. I'm reading 1st Nephi right now and it has never applied to my life more than it does now. Every day I read something else that makes me go, "Whoa." It's like reading entries from my journal that I haven't written yet.

16. number of trips outside Rexburg I have planned already: two, possibly three. number of people coming to visit me this summer: two, possibly three. number of times I have listened to this song: two, possibly ten.

17. this place. ahh.

overheard

{photo essay by ellie}

I've been hanging out in the library way too much. I made it my goal to not be in there very much this semester. Well, I failed this week, folks. Anywho, whilst I was in the library (dang, using the word "whilst" really ups your I.Q.) I heard some preeety interesting stuff.

guy sitting in front of me at computers: hey, does anyone know how to spell marijuana? (looking at me, so I take out my headphones)

me: say what?

guy: I said, do you know how to spell marijuana?

girl next to me: huh? nope...sorry.

me (laughing): yes. yes I do.

guy (turning back to his computer and looking back expectantly at me): okay...go!

me: M-A-R-I-J-U-A-N-A.

guy: sweet! thanks!

me: nooo problem.

I would just like to say to everyone who was on the 1st floor that day--I have always been a good speller. But I don't do drugs. Alright? Alright.

other conversations I really got a kick out of this week:

girl, to me, as I rode my bike past the Romney building: wow.

me, looking around strangely, wondering if she was talking to me for real: .......

girl: I mean, wow. I bet your legs are, like, SUPER strong. Seriously. I could not go up this hill on a bike. Wow. [FYI there is no hill where I was biking....now picture my confused expression]

me: oh...heheh...yeah. [pedaling away]

Was I supposed to say thanks? Oh awkward moments...they follow me like luck follows the Irish.

Not so lucky for me.

In Family Foundations {pretty appropriate considering the conversation}

guy: are those rhinestone feathers on your earrings?

girl: what? are you making fun of me? [classic girl tactic. she doesn't want to act flattered that the guy noticed her earrings, so she goes for the ol' "flirting by being put off" technique]

guy: No! I'm just curious. [poor guy]

girl: You're always making fun of me. [man, she's good.]

guy: No, I'm not. Do you need a hug to make you feel better? [and this guy is the epitome of smooth. like butter, i tell you]

girl: No.

guy: Are you sure?

girl: Yes.

guy: Well, for the record, I like the earrings. You know rhinestone feathers were popular with Britney Spears a few years back.

girl: I don't think you should know that.

guy: I have five sisters. I know a lot of things I shouldn't.

girl: wow.

tessa and I's text conversations:

me: fasting for 24 hours is awesome except for the fact that I ate 3 helpings of dinner. ahh so good.

tessa: haha you just got major blessings!

me: yeah I drank like 32 oz. of water in 10 minutes too.

tessa: oh my gosh you camel.

me: for reals. also I took an hour long nap today and I'm still tired. fasting takes it out of you!

tessa: yeah it does! At least that's what Jesus told me.

another convo:

me: dude we got osama and he's dead! turn on the news!

tessa: what?!?!? oh my gosh!!!!

me: I read in scribber study today about Nephi cutting off Laban's head. Co-inky-dink!

tessa: Bahaha. Definitely a foreshadowing there.

don't judge us because we talk about religious stuff via text messaging....

more craziness to come, folks. much more.

p.s. does it bother you that I call you "folks"? Because it bothers me. Partly because I don't know who you are, exactly, and "folks" is an old word. Do you know what I mean? Okay nevermind.

thought process

contemplation is a favorite word of mine. and currently that's what i'm experiencing: lots of contemplation. lots of thinking about mexico, and leaving mexico in 12 days.

today i thought about what i'll be doing on the plane. probably crying.

i also told my kids i had two weeks left with them, so they'd better listen. to some, it wasn't so much a threat as a reason to celebrate.

but others said, "ohhh teacher...you're going to return, right?" i wish they wouldn't do that sometimes. i just can't stand the thought of leaving them.

and then there's the teachers. yesterday i spent all day with kaitlyn and her family (her entire family, which translates to a lot of mexicans). i felt like i was at one of my own family reunions. it was a surreal feeling. i had to remind myself that i was in mexico; but i have to do that a lot.

i have grown to love this place more than i thought i would.

i have become a different person, but i think i'm still the same kenzie. just with more pieces to my puzzle. make sense? and those pieces will always belong to mexico.

last night i made a list of all the things i'm going to do in the next 12 days.

it's pretty small.

mostly it says to be patient with my students, teach them all i can, and then somehow tell them goodbye, in my regular, kenzie fashion.

what i really wish i could do is take all my favorites back with me and then we could all live on the same street together. and i would see them on the weekends, and we'd play soccer together, and eat pizza, and i would teach them funny phrases in english.

and the teachers, we would be best friends for the rest of our lives.

today i told my friend/fellow teacher sara that it doesn't feel right to me that we're all leaving now. i said, "it's like we were a band, and now we're breaking up...and it's just not right."

i just want the music to keep playing.

and to never end.

yep, this song was on the "bucket list." it's not my fault there's coincidences all over the place.