the joys of (not) having a gall bladder

a picture of me back when i had a gall bladder (i.e. every day of my life up until july 23rd)

caleb's head is resting right about where my gall bladder used to be. awww. 

I'm still in a drug-induced haze, so we'll see how this blog even turns out. Here's the diet coke version (heh, I picked that up from my Spanish professor. But not anything Spanish-related...)

Starting last Monday, the 16th, I was going about my regular bidnez (work, exercise, eat, sleep, read, shower, blah blah). I had just eaten a loverly dinner of chicken and rice with broccoli. Normally I don't go into that much detail but it's important that you know what my last meal was before all this nonsense went down. Right in the middle of FHE, I felt a strange pain in my side, like I was being stabbed. Ugh! I've had weird stomach problems for who knows how long, but had never felt anything like this. I've been off of gluten, dairy, sugar, you know, the works. Nothing helped. My body refused to cooperate. I became a food snob, went on stupid diets, worked out like a crazy person. And yet, not too much changed.

So back to this epic stomachache. I took some medication and tried to lay down so the pain would leave, because I figured it was just a dumb stomachache. But it got worse, and then I couldn't breathe. What the junk?! This was not a regular stomachache. I asked my dad for a blessing, after which I promptly threw up three times. Awesome. I figured that would be all. Just to be safe, I called in sick the next day. For the next few days I didn't eat much besides saltines, applesauce, apple juice. Just fyi, saltines aren't food. They are simply the color beige plus a little salt on top. Not. Food. So of course I was starving, but everything else made my stomach hurt like hades.

On Friday morning, I was at work for one hour and started to feel pukey again. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that toast!" Word to my homefries: if a piece of toast is upsetting your stomach, you've got problems.  I couldn't sit without being in excruciating pain. Guess what, I sit all day long at work. So I decided to go home yet again and see if I could sleep it off. The pain steadily got worse. We went to urgent care, and the doctor there said I wasn't showing any "classic symptoms" for any one thing. Earlier in the week I had googled my symptoms and had a hunch it was something to do with my gall bladder. He told me it might be that but my blood test wouldn't come back 'til Monday. I took some more medicine and went to sleep. Then when I woke up I did a really dumb thing and ate some food, which induced yet another painful episode.

Cue some more throwing up, more pain, and prayers that it would just be over. When the doctor asks you what your pain is on a scale from 1-10, and you say "ten," that's a sign...to go to the hospital. I didn't know this. I thought I could endure it, but Saturday was the straw that broke this redheaded camel's back (whoa, weird image, am I right?). When I got to the E.R., I was in a weird state. I was in so much pain that it was almost like an out of body experience...I can't really explain it, but I knew I was in trouble. They asked me my pain level, and I think I mumbled "eight," but I didn't want them panicking on me. Hello, McFrenzy, this is the E.R. People get paid to go into panic mode here. Again, the pain was distorting everything.

I remember them putting me on a hospital bed and sticking me with an I.V. Usually I don't like getting poked with needles but by this point it felt like I was getting hugged by a Care Bear compared to the pain in my stomach. Then the most glorious thing ever happened! They gave me pain medication (apparently ten times stronger than morphine, boo-ya). I don't condone drugs, people, but after the pain I'd experienced, it was celestial. Ok, maybe I shouldn't compare pain medication to the celestial kingdom...but GUYS. I will always remember that moment when the pain went away. I know I did embarrassing things and I know I was reduced to a cavewoman (in terms of my speech), but I couldn't feel the pain anymore! YESSS!

For the next few days, I sat in my hospital bed and waited patiently for the doctor to say they would take out my gall bladder, which they did! On Monday morning they told me I was going in for surgery. The last thing I remember was them saying, "Okay, we're going to give you some Valium first..." which made me dizzy, but not totally asleep, and then they said, "We're putting this oxygen mask on your face, okay?" BAM. Lights out.

Other things to note: hospital gowns are never, ever flattering on anybody; chicken broth can be the best meal in the world when you haven't eaten for three days; popsicles are great for sore throats; the cooking channel and the food network are sadistic things to watch when you can't eat anything; you shouldn't invite your friends to come visit you because they'll laugh at everything you do (drugs=bad); if you start to feel any pain the nurse will inject you with that 10x stronger than morphine stuff (drugs=good); scars can be cool; people are actually very good; Priesthood blessings are the bee's knees; God really does answer your prayers but it's His timing that counts; showering with an I.V. is awkward; drugs make your dreams even more psycho; remote-controlled beds are overrated; fireworks are only fun if you can see them, otherwise they are really scary; getting an ultrasound when you're heavily medicated is like being in the Willy Wonka movie from the 60's.

Thus concludes the life of my crazy gall bladder. May you rest in peace.

for emily, forever ago

i'mma be here soon...

Didja like how I did that? How I totally just used one of my favorite albums to title this post? Well...I kinda did. 


Except this post is for Emily, not Emma. 


Anyway.


Back in the day, I asked you guys if you wanted me to do a FAQ page, because I was fooling myself into thinking a whole bunch of people read this blog and asked me questions. The truth is, I am not blogger famous and probably never shall be, and so I have no need for a FAQ page. 


However, one of my frequent commenters, who also happens to be my aunt, asked me a few random questions in the comment box that day. 


Dear Emily, this is for you.


"Question: How many roommates do you have? Are they tolerable creatures? How often do you have access to gas-powered vehicles? How many cardigans do you own? When was the last time someone cooked you something delicious? Where would you go, right now, no budget/time constraints? Would you return? What does that duct tape say on your face?"


Answer: 
1) I have...er had...five roommates. They were all pretty hilarious. I've had some good ones over the years. But alas, now I have exactly four roommates, and we're all related. Things get hairy.


2) Yes, they are (were) tolerable creatures. I'm talking about my old roommates right now. I could go into more detail but I have lots of stories and I have to do the voices...trust me. My roommates currently are pretty legit. I cook dinner for them sometimes and they wake me up in the morning by bustin' down the door.


3) I have access to gas-powered vehicles 10% of the time. Ok maybe not that much...me and Isaac shared his car for awhile until I realized my license was expired. I do not own a car of my own. Again, things get hairy.


4) I think I own at least ten cardigans, if I'm being conservative. The real question is how many items of striped clothing do I have...ha.


5) The last time I cooked something delicious was my lunch! It was a whole wheat tortilla (which I made myself, chyes!), with eggs, spinach, a little bit o' mozzarella cheese, some of those bacon sprinkles from Costco, and avocado. *dead* Everything is better with bacon sprinkles. The end, amen. 


6) If I could go anywhere right now, I'd probably backpack through Europe. Even if I didn't have a budget, I'd wanna do it "budget-style," or whatever it is when you stay in hostels. I'd probably splurge one night, though...and it would be in the Swiss Alps! Oh and I probably would splurge for food as well. 


7) If that vacation played out like the movie "Taken" (worst fear), then I would not return. Assuming I wasn't as dumb as the girls in the movie, though, I'd probably make my way home eventually after a few months. 
One thing I've learned from traveling: you never know how much you'll miss your bathroom until it's gone.


8) The duct tape on my face in that picture says: "yeah, this was my idea. 'what? i can't hear you!'" The story goes like this: my old roomie Chelsea (the blonde in the photo) and I were bestos. And we couldn't shut up around each other when it came time to study. One night we were having a particularly hard time, so I finally suggested that we duct tape our mouths shut. We're not one to take things figuratively, you know (freshman year we had a poetry slam...with berets, coffee mugs, scarves...and forlorn glances. I don't make this stuff up.). So the duct tape went on. And we proceeded to write our very own "status" or whatever on the tape, so nobody would ask questions. Sarah, her sister, was recently engaged, so she wanted to announce that on her adhesive square. Chels was also referring to a boy on her piece of tape. And mine was about how my headphones were usually in so I could block out Chels talking to me and focus (which, as you can see from the duct-tape, did not work). So I would always just say "I can't hear you!" That was a really long explanation.


Want to know more randomness about my life? Go ahead...ask me. I dare you. 

not enough room for a gratitude list done the mcfrenzy way

You know I pretty much write a gratitude list every Monday, right? Even if it doesn't show up on this blog, those things are all over my journal. And yet I never run out of things to list. 'Tis wonderful.

1. haircuts, because sometimes your hair becomes more like a mane, and then it's just a drag. yay for scissors.
2. the amazing music I have discovered this year. the trick is to surround yourself with people that don't listen to music on the radio...and sha-bam, you will have excellent taste in music.
3. Preach My Gospel. It has become my new favorite study compadre with the scribbers.
4. fuzzy scarves, fuzzy hats, fat puffy vests and coats. i really don't mind the cold because then I get to wear layers.
5. red nail polish, it makes me feel kind of classy. and then I wear old basketball shorts to bed...
6. the night sky. all you gotta do is look up and you'll get lost.
7. autumn, for sticking around long enough for me to relish it. sometimes I wish every month was October.
8. my parents, for helping me make sense of everything that doesn't make sense in this 21-one-year old mind.
9. those funny siblings o'mine. they never cease to crack me up.
10. memories of mexico. it's nice to have good places to back to in your head and live in for awhile, even if it's just for a few minutes.
11. excitement for the future even though I have no idea what's in it.
12. everyone who has ever made me laugh, smile, or cry. you make me feel alive, and that is a good thing.

and i slept and i slept and i slept

i know, my grammar is terrible today.

but honestly that conference weekend wasn't nearly long enough for me. so i am going to have bad grammar just this once (and i'm even de-capitalizing the i's. de-capitalizing probably isn't a word, either. for shame!).

i did successfully make the pumpkin pancakes with nutmeg whipped cream. here's the recipe (don't deny you want it)...oh and I used buttermilk instead of milk+vinegar. just fyi. the nutmeg whipped cream was a mixture of whipped cream...and nutmeg (so much for the element of surprise), plus a little bit of sugar and vanilla extract.

i did enjoy every conference talk, most especially D. Todd Christofferson's, President Eyring's, and Dieter F. Uchtdorf's. They were speaking right to me, I think. But isn't that how is always is?

oops. i deviated from my bad grammar streak. sorry, i know you were enjoying it.

i did go to the annual familiy photo shoot, but alas, the leaves had not yet turned so we didn't go up the canyon. that and everybody seemed to be in a hurry. but that's how conference weekend is when you have to get back to rexburg by sunday night. noodles (kenzie-slang for "dangit").

one thing i did not seem to have the easiest time doing this weekend was sleeping. and i really needed to catch up on sleep (remember the whole part about me being in college? ok, just checkin'). monday morning came and i still hadn't caught up. i usually take a nap in between my 10am class and my 11:30 class. guess when I woke up?

11:30.

consider this my first and last missed class of the semester. i really hate missing class, honestly, i do! but i think i just needed that sleep. my nap lasted for a glorious 2.5 hours. i could make a list of everything i might have accomplished in that amount of time, but i think sleeping was what i would have ended up doing anyway.

alas, now i have a little bit more energy than i usually do at 4:30 on monday afternoon, so i think i will go and sweat it out before the rain really comes bustin' out of the clouds. yep, the weather finally realized it was october and changed its mind about being 70 degrees all of the time.

i can't say i'm disappointed. see #3 on happy list below.

today mcfrenzy is happy because:

1. she said the blessing on her and chelsea's food in spanish. hasn't done that in awhile.

2. she imagined herself at the top of a mountain overlooking Puebla, Mexico. good image.

3. she walked home from the library enjoying the musty smell of rain, leaves, and autumness.

4. she wore her purple striped shirt with the buttons and everybody complimented her on it.

5. she rode her bike to the grocery store for bananas. there's something very fulfilling about riding your bike to the grocery store in autumn.

6. she fell asleep reading her book of contemporary american poetry and felt like spending the whole day writing poems. but don't worry, she didn't. she just slept some more. :)

7. she decided to write an entire happy list in 3rd person.

8. she listened to mister jack johnson sing "imagine" and realized she liked it better than the original. sorry, john.

9. she found the most amazing scripture in Ether 12:4, please go read it.

10. she woke up and realized she missed her family a lot. she just saw them, what is wrong with her? oh well.

11. she got to sit in the park above the valley and talk to TP on Saturday night. only thirty minutes, but she just really likes that girl and that park, so the combination of the two made the short amount of time worth it. oh and elder greene, he's the bee's knees.

12. she saw a picture of griffey that was really old but made her smile so hard she almost cried. her parents liked it too. and yes, she hijacked it so all of you could see it. thanks, TP.

happy monday :)

families are forever...

betcha thought this was gonna be deep, huh?