Thursday, December 8, 2011

the brace-face chronicles...


So you know how I sometimes post little excerpts from my journals? Well, I decided to show you guys a little somethin-somethin special. Call it an early Christmas present, from me to you. But if you are prone to laughter, please use the bathroom first. Thank you.

And now, we go back in the year of Y2K, Xenon Girl of the 21st Century, and braces. That's right. 2000. And some 2001, too. I decided not to edit anything, because, well, it wouldn't be near as funny if I did. However, I did add some commentary in the little brackets. Oh, and sorry for all the exclamation points and big letters. Can't blame a 10-year old girl for being a little enthusiastic about life.

January 1st, 2000
"Happy Birthday to me! Now, I am 10 years old! Mom and Dad keep telling me to STOP growing up. I know they are just joking. Ha ha! But kids can't stay like Peter Pan forever! At least not me! I got a lot of neat stuff. A fairy doll, a doll playset, a book, bracelets, a necklace, a cd headphone player [what the junk was I talking about?!], a doll that looks JUST like me, pants, a dress, WAIT! That's all I can remember. [What, did I just experience sudden head trauma?] Crazy huh? [You're telling me.] But the Chronicles of Narnia is only 1 more I can remember. Bye!"

January 26!
One more day 'til the talent show! [just fyi, almost this entire journal revolves around the talent show. I'm not sure why now.] Sorry, I haven't written for a long time. Today I play my violin concert at 7:00pm tonight! We (my class) are singing two songs in the Talent Show called Dr. King & Lewy Lewy [back then I was a phonetic speller, okay?].

February 13!
Oh man! I haven't written Forever! Oh well. Tomorrow is actually Valentine's Day. We have gotten 3 new kids + the 21 we had before. This means I"ll be full on candy tomorrow! Today we had a substitute teacher at church. Brother Stanley. We had a lesson on the Tree of Life. I call the Tree of Life...Cauliflower! Just kidding. Well, my hand writing might be sloppy tomorrow because I'll be sick from candy.

April 14, 2001
I know. I haven't written forever. Well here is a little time machine! I was taking a writing class with my good friend Amy Mathews. We both agree to NEVER go back again. The teacher was nutty and the kids were...well let's just say scary! Abel, was definitely not able. Every time the teacher asked him to read his work, he'd say "PASS!" [Forgive me for my harshness...little kids can be real meanies.]

April 16, 2001
Nothing really happened today. Ha-Ha. Just kidding. As usual I went to violin class but a new thing: she (my mom) was the first to pick me up. Mom is usually the last to pick up--that's right--ME. Mom was on the RADIO! That is not exciting. Ha Ha again. Eh huh again. Ok I will stop being weird. I got cool writing scores. 5, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, and 4, 4, 4, 4 [*facepalm*]. You have to at least get a 4. AWESOME! I was listening to Shania Twain on the radio 3 halfs of a second ago. What's 3 halfs of a second? Shania Twain reminds me of my best friend Liz. She listens to Shania. The best thing about journals are: 1)they don't get graded. 2)They are SECRET [not on this blog...]. 3)they are like historical fiction books, which I love. 4) they do or do not tell lies [huh?].

April 17, 2001
Today was really radical! After school I went ot my BF's house [Lizzy]. 1st we went to Subway. On the way to SUB, I had too many choco-eggs and they made my mouth dry. Afterwards we helped her mom Cheryl clean the dental office by Grandma's house. Eww! I helped w/ the trash. It was dark out, so when I dumped the trash, well...DQ is right over the fence. The food pick-up is right over the fence. I swung the trash a little too far right over to where the DQ customers pick up their food. HA HA! Oops!

April 18, 2001
TALENT SHOW AUDITIONS! The auditions were great! I think I'm in. There is a lot happening at the Talent Show. Some stuff kids did was a little, well, INAPPROPRIATE. Not that I care they move their bodies in weird motions. In math, we got assigned seats! I had to sit by Chris Hardisty. YUCK! [yeah, I totally had a crush on him, fyi.]

April 26, 2001
Today we dissected owl pellets! It turns out the owl had 2 3/4 rodent dinner. We STILL haven't gotten all of the bones out of the "rotten cotton candy"!

April 28, 2001
Today Amy and I went to the movie SPY kids. Weird!!!! It has too much...high tech stuff in it [little did I know...] Afterwards off went went to Orange Julius after her MOM picked us up. It was POURING DOWN HAIL AND RAIN. Then we got back to her house and watched PRINCE OF EGYPT and ate popcorn and cookies. Amy is my other BF. Sometimes I bring extra underwear to her house because she makes me laugh SOOO hard! [I am so ashamed of this...but I had to share. I just had to.]

May 2nd, 2001
Spent the night at Amy's. I am writing this in gel pen because my ink ran out. First of all, Nichelle cheated at track again! I was ahead again, and she pushed me on the corner. She brags terribly! All the time. "My brother is the fastest on his team" "I've never gotten any checkmarks" [in 5th grade, checkmarks were akin to demerits, ok?]. OK, so Amy and I had fun. Ate pizza. She's a blast!

May 10, 2001
Leslie's play was great. On the way to WA, I read and finished the LANDRY NEWS. I've been wearing my hat all day [nothing new here] and so it feels like I have lice. Itch, scratch, itch, scratch! After the play we got Domino's & Cinnastix w/ icing. Leslie and I had to pick up pop from Subway. Michael finished 2 of the Cinnastix and opened the frosting while we left him in the car. No wonder some were missing!


Jen said...

"Not that I care they move their bodies in weird motions." This was hilarity at it's finest!

A.E. said...

those were the days!

Victoria said...

sometimes, I bring extra underwear....

my writing may be sloppy tommorrow..

humor at it's finest. Who better to make fun of than yourself?

s + b said...

lol. you are adorable.

Amy said...

I'm with Jen "not that I care they move their bodies in weird motions!" Oh Kenz. This was fantabulous!