sometimes...

sometimes I feel like this is the environment I live in.

sometimes I'm tempted to eat something with peanut butter on it for every single meal. and sometimes I give in to that temptation. no shame.

sometimes I smile at perfect strangers just to see what they will do. since I live in Rexburg, this game isn't too exciting, because most everyone smiles back. but some people wink. and then the game ends.

sometimes I stumble on a song I love and I can't stop listening to it. like this one.

sometimes I daydream about April 6th and sometimes I have nightmares about it. Mixed emotions up in herrrrre.

sometimes I have too many thoughts and feelings to be contained in this little brain of mine, so I write them all out in letters which I never send. I have multiple "unsendables" on my hard drive, yo. And that is where they shall stay.

sometimes I wish I could forget about school for a long time and become a bona fide musician. and sometimes I use "bona fide" in sentences even though it sounds funny.

sometimes I surprise myself by how much I bake. I mean for realz, who makes homemade tortillas and homemade pizza crust in one day? Who would do that? Not 2008 freshman Kenzie. But 2012 Senior Kenzie is apparently very self-sufficient. Or just a food snob to the extreme.

(p.s. the tortillas were delicious. recipe here.)

sometimes I watch 15 minutes of The Final Rose before I feel nauseous and have to leave the room before I slap the TV (because I can't actually slap the people on the TV, even though I wish that were possible sometimes).

sometimes I have dance parties in my room, by myself. with the blinds open. ya....

sometimes I wonder what my future self would say to my present self right now. like, "kenzie, stop worrying about everything. it's all going to turn out ok." I'm pretty sure that's what she would say.

sometimes I can't sleep at night so I start thinking about Mexico. And I can't really believe it's almost been a full year since I left that place. What a day that was.

sometimes I don't really care about the movies that are out these days (p.s. I've now seen The Vow and Gone so you don't have to). But can I just say, I am excited to the 1,000th power for this Friday at 12am. To see Peeta The Hunger Games.

so tell me..what would your "sometimes" list consist of?

{inspired by this lovely lady}

p.s. totally changed the blog name. but changing the URL is too messy. /the end/

seventh circle of ____ (insert insanely hot place here)

This week. has been. insane. you can. probably tell. because. I am. splitting up my sentences. like a. robot.

The other night, when I was laying in my bed and trying to induce sleep, which shouldn't have been hard because I was riding on five hours, I realized that this week has been like finals week. And so was last week...and the week before. And then I had this scary thought: what if the rest of the semester is like this? What if by the time I leave Rexburg I can't wait to get out of here?

That's kind of sad, you know. Because I always liked it here. It's been my home for about 4 years, and now I'm supposed to move to another city? A place I haven't lived in since I was a toddler and don't really know anything about? Um, whose idea was this again? Anyway, all of these thoughts like to creep into my head right when I'm trying to fall asleep. And then the vicious cycle repeats itself: try to make it through the day without a nap, fail, take a 20 minute nap, walk around like a zombie, try to do homework, 20 pages of reading puts me to sleep, wake up, mckenzie as a zombie: the sequel, is it midnight yet? Ok I'll sleep...oh wait, I have so many things to worry about. Nevermind.

So far the only cures for this intense senioritis have been the following things:

• smoothies for breakfast...like, everyday. Normally I don't do this, especially in the wintertime, but it's basically spring here anyway. And blueberries are my comfort food. Amen and amen. Also, I've been going through avocadoes at an alarming rate lately. I regret nothing.
• listening to classical music very loudly.
• taking at least 2-3 hours on fridays just for myself. Then, after work ends at 4pm, the homework marathon begins again.
• naps. I used to shun them because they made me wired at night, but now I consider them an absolute necessity. Funny what 12 credits of English will do to your REM cycle.
• having meaningful conversations with people every day, to remind me that school is not everything.
• opening my window at night to let some cool air in. This fools me into thinking it's summertime and that I'm hot and need my window open. But then again, when it is summertime for real, I won't be here (*happy dance*).

I know that about a week after I leave Rexburg for good, it's going to hit me how much I miss it. And I know that that feeling is going to return when I move to Provo and don't know hardly anyone. Or where the best food is (please tell me there is a taco bus there. please.). Or where the park is that everybody likes to hang out at during the summertime. Or the best frozen yogurt place. Or the best place for shredding the ivory really loud. Or the best field for playing soccer. Or the cheapest place to see a movie on the weekend.

But guess what...that's one of the best parts of moving. And also the scariest. So bring it, April 6th. I'm ready for you to come anytime now!

surefire cure-alls for whatever ails you

(be it senioritis, winter blues, or a bad case of the mondays)

write a letter.

watch the office, preferably an old episode.

eat an avocado w/ toast.

listen to some vernon.

another countdown

circa june 2009

it's crazy to think of everything that has changed since this piksha was taken...what will happen in the next year?! who knows?? isn't it awesome?

I feel like I'm constantly counting down to something.

Good and bad.

Good because it means I always have something to look forward to.

Bad because I'm not enjoying the present as much as I could.

I'll work on that, promise.

In the future:

Mexico, of course. 15 days from now. Oh dear.

Next semester, I will have a hammock, and it will be sunny in Rexburg. Connect the dots.

That one race I signed up for awhile back...you know...just the Ragnar. Psyche. 6 months and counting.

A Lizzy/Kenzie reunion. It's gonna happen, people.

Speaking of reunions, I know six missionaries who will be returning next year. Big smiley.

In the near future:

Chelsea will open her mission call and I'll know what address to slap on those envelopes. Could happen TODAY.

I'll turn 21, which doesn't mean much unless you are a boozer. For the record, I am not.

Apples to Apples with singles ward amigos.

CHRISTMAS!!!

I'm going to listen to some Phoenix like I did in the olden days. This song matches pretty well, I think.

My friend (at least one I know of) is going to get engaged. What the junk?!

20 for 31

my personal fave

20 years old for 31 more days, to be exact. Actually, it's more like 30 days now, because day one is almost over and I have spent almost 75% of it in the library. So that doesn't really count as an actual day, right?

When I first walked into the library after Thanksgiving Break, it was like coming home. You'd think that when I first walked into my apartment, I would feel that way, but no. It was the library. Sad.

I've learned a lot this year and I wouldn't trade any of the trials I went through for anything else. God obviously knows what He's doing and He gives me these experiences for a reason. So I'm just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even though a lot of the time I don't know where it's going to land.

As for these next 30 days, I plan on making the most of them. After all, when the clock strikes 11:18am on January 1st, I will be a "legal adult." Whatever that means...

mcfrenzy's 30 day plan o'action:

go to taco bus uh-gain

make sure my students know they're awesome

get to the middle of the Book of Alma

write a poem and leave it somewhere in this blasted place

stop saying blast and wretch

make a snowman/snow angel

make pumpkin cookies un mas tiempo, to give away of course

update the quote wall before we have to take it down

make those tie-dye shirts we've had since forever ago...

write a note to at least 1 person every week

small acts of service

try to stop listening to this song

go to the Rexburg Temple at least 1 more time

talk to the Bishop 1 more time

bear my testimony (hold me to this)

say hi to a stranger

avoid falling on the ice/snow

wink at somebody. what? I just really gotta get it out of my system.

forget myself and GO (to mexico, that is)

off the grid

(Indiana Jones circa 2004...dang, look at those braids)

I've been missing in action as far as this blog goes.

But I'm back now, just in time for the rush of finals to begin.

Starting on Monday, more excitement is bound to occur. And it will all be chronicled here. Fasten. Seatbelts.

predictions for the future...

Hair will grow to the middle of my back.

Freckles will reappear as soon as I land in Mexico.

Oh yeah, and I think I'm still goin to Mexico.

Pandora will crank out even more amazing music that I can't afford to buy.

I'll get a tan. Haha. Good one.

Rigorous running routine at sea level for 4 months. Gulp. Like that alliteration I just did?

Going to try mole, the legitimate, delicious (?) mole.

Check something off my bucket list (speak Spanish with a native).

Start writing another missionary--Chelsea Ann.

Begin my last 3 semesters in a row, count 'em, that's three left! Sigh...

Go see Tangled with the siblings in T minus 1 hour.

-mcfrenzy-

is that a harmonica i hear?

( it's a friday piksha...oh and it reminds me of catherine creek )

It's kind of early (translation: I'm pretty dang tired). This morning my alarm beckoned at 6 am (still getting used to it) for scripture study. Which was very good, by the way. Did you know that we get to have a member of the Godhead with us all the time? Try and deny how awesome that is.

My original intent after getting out of Spanish early today was to do some homework in the library until 9, when I have a tutoring sesh. But of course I got sidetracked by the harmonica coming from someone's cubicle in the east wing. I guess if that's how they're gonna celebrate their Friday, more power to 'em. If only I had brought mine, we could've had a duet!

On Conference Weekend, Rexburg empties like my fridge sometimes empties onto the floor...slowly and subtly, but then all of a sudden you trip on the puddle and...oh wait, that has nothing to do with people leaving Rexburg. But you know what I mean. More than half of the students in Spanish were m.i.a. Part of me wishes I was on the road, too, but I know that half of the journey is the getting there. And holy moley, that was really deep for a Friday morning. I can almost hear your applause.

Friends, I have approximately 1 hour of class, 1 hour of work, and (maybe...maybe...maybe) 1 hour of nap to go. The 4 hours of driving time, well, that's part of the fun cause I'll be with the Goppster.

your devoted harmonica-playa,

mcfrenzal

p.s. happy anniversary to my parents! you make me want to be lo mejor.

tirrred, and fall is coming

Nope, I didn't get hit with those round, black rubber things attached to your vehicle.

I'm just on my bed in Rexburg, waiting out until Thursday. And I'm tired.

Thursday is the day of reckoning, a.k.a. the first day of school.

I have my first class at 8 in the morning. On Friday, it will start at 7:45 with (gulp) Spanish 325...phonetics and conversation. Phonetics? In Spanish? Chyeah, right. Whose idea was that anyway? Oh yeah, mine.

So far I have been seen by exactly 76-ish members of the opposite sex without makeup. That's because this morning when I woke up, I didn't want to "get ready" per se. Mom, please don't shudder. Not yet. Because I did get dressed...but it was a tie-dye t-shirt. And I did do something with my hair. But I did not wash it. Gah! I can't believe I'm even admitting this on the world wide web.

Anyway. Chelsea and I got to campus and all of a sudden every guy I knew came out of the woodwork. Embarrassing. At least now I have pretty much nothing to hide. P.S. how would you define "prospect"? Because I would have to say that any prospect of mine will have to see me without makeup before any rings go flying. Just sayin'. That's future reference, by the way, don't get any ideas.

I also spent a few zillion dollars on textbooks. Let me rephrase that. I spent a zillion dollars on pieces of paper with access codes on them. I never thought I'd pay $40 for a rub-off sticker. But such is life when you are in college. All of a sudden, all that money you spent disappears into a grocery store till, or a bookstore salesperson's hands, or into the college vault which holds all of our tuition. Even though I'd like to think money doesn't mean much, I've come to realize that it means a heck of a lot when you go to la universidad.

Despite this exhaustion from simply settling in, I am glad to be back here. Here's what I expect from this semester:

A trip to Big Jud's, finally

lots of jaunts to Badger Creek

bike rides on the Mongoose

a few roommate bonding sessions

running. a lot of running

ivory-shredding in the Snow Building

mind-blowing study sessions in the library

some interesting tutoring stories...

figuring out a faster way to get to the top of campus

shaking devotional speakers' hands

keeping my freckles intact by getting some lamp-time (the sun will be gone soon...)

not sleeping much

amazing classes

lots of new friends

even more funny, sad, interesting, and random blog posts

sincerely,

the mcfrenzy