peanut butter cookies & car explosions

Let's get inside my head for a moment, shall we?

Yesterday I took a 3-hour nap (yeah, it was dumb to the tenth power). During this nap I dreamt that the apartment was a disaster. Dishes were piled everywhere, even on the floor. But I was determined to bake my Sunday loaf of bread. And some peanut butter cookies too, because why not? I would like to add that in my subconscious mind, the "mess" in the kitchen was still somewhat organized. All of the wooden things were stacked on the stove (um, not safe) and the metal stuff was in the sink. I also dreamt about someone...being my roommate, which would not be honor code savvy, but I gave him some cookies anyway. Next, I went to a house I didn't recognize and gave the strangers inside cookies too. What does this mean? 1) Cookies are always a good idea and 2) they will make anybody your friend.

Well, I took another nap today (ok dad, so I take a lot of naps, but they are never 3 hours long...except for that one time yesterday....ahem). And I dreamt that the apartment was a big mess again. Only this time it wasn't just clutter. There was mold and other things growing on the walls. Gag. Also, in this dream I was looking out my window and witnessed a realllllly bad car wreck, in which the car blew up. I have dreamt this dream more than a few times lately. What in the world is my dream mind saying? I'll break it down for you.

1) do not go see the Vow. oh wait...that wasn't really what my dream mind said. I'm just telling you for future reference.

2) I am afraid of car accidents (truth)

3) I like to bake (truth)

4) I will bake even if the kitchen is a mess (false)

5) I hate messiness (true)

6) I like giving food away (true)

7) I should stop taking naps (probably true, but I'm ignoring it)

What have you dreamt about lately? Anything that made you go, "what the fweak just happened?!" when you woke up?

PLUS

= a typical McKenzie dream

man, my head hurts.

that's about as awkward as it can get

there was this one time I slept on a pyramid. that was awkward. and yes, I'm sleeping while sitting up. even more awkward. were there tourists around? plenty. were we wasted on Dramamine? maybe.

Let's face it, either I'm awkward (mostly true) or I just bring out the awkwardness in other people (also true) or I attract awkward people. Blurgh.

awesome

1. Dreaming that I wrecked my brother's sweet Laser. This is awesome because it was, in fact, a dream, and not reality. In the dream I kept thinking, "I hope this isn't real and that I wake up. I have no money for new tires." Wish granted.
2. Bon Iver=a musical poet. Watch this and try to keep your mouth closed. I dare you.
3. Kaitlyn Kaycee Dwiggins making her way to Rexburg just when I need her. Last night was not a good night for me and my allergies, people. Once again, I sound like a man and my face feels inside out.
4. Finally getting Sister Gopp's address by way of crazy coincidence!
5. Idaho autumn-y sunsets. How many days til October?!
6. It's conference weekend, por fin.
7. A beautiful thing called pumpkin smash smoothies at Jamba Juice. With the first sip, I died, came back, then died again.
8. scripture study in the sun (who knows how much longer it will last...sniffle)
9. Mint Green nail polish, mmm yes. It kinda makes me crave milkshakes, though. Problem.

awkward:

1. A certain home teacher who came over unannounced (as per usual) at around 10:30 pm, gave me unsolicited advice on my personal life, offered to set me up with one of his friends who "might be gay," and then took my roommate's ice cream out of her hands and ate some.
2. Saying "Are you following me?" to people I keep running into, because I think they automatically think the opposite: "Oh...is she following me?" Uhhhhhhhhh
3. Eating red onions--never a good idea, even though they taste good. They ruin your mouth (and thus, your prospects...ya dig?) for days.
4. Seeing no less than 10 people with the same shirt as me in one day. That's what happens when you buy something from American Eagle. Oy.
5. Telling a roommate a hilarious story only to have her misunderstand and miss the punchline completely. Don't mind me, I'm just laughing at my own joke over here. Ha. Ha. Ha.........
6. Trying to chat with someone on facebook, only to have them get offline right as you say "hey!" Well fine....I didn't wanna talk to you anyhow!

sueños locos

sometimes I don't even understand myself.

The other night I dreamt Liz became my new conscience (think Jiminy Cricket), except she was a cockroach. I remember her turning into one of the yucky little buggers right in front of me. Except then she talked. Best friends turning into talking cockroaches? My dream mind is on some kind of drug that I'm not aware of....serious.

My English teacher once said that Samuel Coleridge (famous British poet) took some opium and fell asleep, which produced the famous poem "Kubla Kahn." Have you ever read it? Does it make any sense whatsoever? No manches (Mexico slang for "no flippin' way"). And that, my friends, is the power of drugs. Don't mess wit 'em.

My prof also said that we are probably capable of doing the same thing, only Mormon-Style. Por ejemplo--Benadryl: A Sonnet.

Now that stuff makes me crazy.

Then last night I dreamt that it was the 2nd coming (probably had something to do with what I wrote before I went to bed). But instead of hiding in bomb shelters and looting Broulim's, I was getting ready to perform in a pageant at the upper playing fields. Explain this to me please. #1, I have never been in a pageant and probably never will be in one. #2, people all over my dream were talking about how I had done so well in such-and-such-musical in high school. People, I never was in a musical. Oh and by the way, Isaac was pigging out on fast food (we're talkin' the Big Judd's Special times ten) because hey, the second coming was about to happen. Por que no?

Man oh man how I wish I could understand my dream mind! It's seriously insane. I bet my bottom dollah that psychologists would really get some textbook material out of it if they studied it for long enough. But...sorry...I'm not donating my body to science.

If my dream mind was a river, it would be a class 5.

If my dream mind was a race, it would be an Ironman on steroids.

If my dream mind was a candy, it would be Warheads & Sour Skittles washed down with Sprite.

If my dream mind was a food, it would be the hottest salsa ever invented on top of more salsa.

If my dream mind was a movie scene, it would be that one in Willy Wonka when they are going through the psychedelic tunnel and Gene Wilder has a mental breakdown.

If my dream mind was a song, it would be Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds+I am The Walrus (the craziest Beatles songs ever. And probably drug-induced).

If my dream mind was a natural disaster, it would be a freak lightning storm in the middle of December.

kinda like the disney vault, only not really

with great anticipation (or is it trepidation), i give you a few gems from the journal of mcfrenzy.

November 26th, 2010

"Today didn’t really feel like Friday because I’ve had every day off this week. All of the days are starting to blur together. For the record, I had a super-weird dream last night. Basically, Yo-Yo Ma was my roommate...what the junk was Yo-Yo Ma doing as my roommate? I sort of remember thinking in the dream, “I can’t believe I haven’t told my parents about this yet! It’s so cool! Yo-Yo Ma is my roommate! Ka-ching!”

November 27th, 2010

Oh yeah, and did I mention that we decorated our Christmas tree tonight?! I am starting to get concerned about the amount of ornaments that hang from that thing. Seriously, we didn’t even use all of them, and that thing looked like it was about to tip over. Mom said to me, “If you and Ike ever get married, the tree will be lighter.” I said, “IF we get married?! Sheesh, you better hope we’re not living in the basement 20 years from now or that thing will tip right over!”

12/21/08-Caleb asked mom during sacrament meeting, “Should I yell ‘gun?’”

12/21/08-Caleb asked me before family prayer, “Should I pull my pants down in a restaurant?’”

12/18/08-Ellie said this in family prayer: “Please help Kenzie not to get drunk.”

June 27th, 2010 I walked into the office with the cookies and it was like I had opened a lemonade stand in the desert. It’s so funny to feed boys sometimes. I dunno why.

July 19th 2010 @ the nursing home

The next lady I talked to was named Iva. She was fiddling with her dentures the whole time we were talking but I didn’t realize what they were until halfway through the conversation when she opened her mouth and popped them in. When it was time for us to head to the ward BBQ, I gave her a hug goodbye and said I would be back in the Fall. She looked so hopeful and sweet, how can I not come back? When I gave her a hug she held me tight and said, “I love you!” Oh man…I honestly love old people. LOVE them. Hope this doesn’t sound weird to me 50 years down the road…

July 21st 2010-Chels, Lori, Ash, and myself went to G’s and got the Holy Cow Platter. When we got there we discovered that it was 13 scoops. We figured we could eat half there and save the other half. Too bad we just ate it all in about 20 minutes. I’m still disgusted with myself. I felt so gross afterwards… The only way I could justify eating that thing again would be if there were 4 more people with us and if I was pregnant. The end.

from the best night of our lives, october 16th, 2011

We decided to go exploring by the AF Ampitheatre because there were a zillion cars parked all around it, and the only way that that many people would gather in American Fork on a Saturday night ( I thought) is if Sarah Palin was giving a speech there or something. And it was 10 o’clock at night, so I decided to rule that out. When we first tried to ask people what was going on (lots of people were walking up the hill), they looked at us like we were crazy. Correction: they looked at TP like she was crazy. Allie stopped her van to ask some people, and TP could only get out the words “Ummmmmmmmm…” They stared at us like we were on drugs, so Allie gunned it. I thought I was gonna pee my pants cause I was laughing so hard.

“You know what I just realized? I am…mean! I am bitter about love.” –Chelsea Ann Bedke on December the 5^th, 2010

December 7th, 2010

Today I might have done a little bit of mango research. Do you realize how weird that last sentence sounded? Court and Chels were making fun of my awesome mango knowledge. I don’t even like mangoes. This is sad. And funny, right? Please tell me it’s funny.

5/1/2010

I was in the middle of a dream about Liz and her fiancée, only this time it was Nick, not Mark, and they were getting engagement pictures taken in the McKenzie River...weird. I guess that was my subconscious mind's way of telling me that I'm still not adjusted to the idea of Liz getting married.

10/30/2009

At 3am the morning crew came in and apparently they decided to dress up for work [in honor of Halloween]. One girl was walking down a dark hallway towards me and her face was painted. So...I couldn't really tell what I was seeing. Because I was so stinkin' tired, neither the flight nor the fight response was working. As she walked by me (I was frozen in place) she said "Good morning!" and that's when I realized she was human. The boys could not stop laughing at me. Oh, and I totally biffed it on the rug on my way out the door as I was leaving. I was so tired I just laid there in the middle of the hallway.

4/7/2010

Tonight at Institute I sat in my desk before class, just thinking/stewing/pondering. Mostly about Mexico. And how scared I am, worried that I am disappointing people, and feeling like I am somehow "cheating" by doing this instead of a mission. Negative Nancy, right? Then Proverbs 3:5-7 came into my mind out of "nowhere." We all know it actually came from the Spirit. The Lord is always ready and willing to answer our prayers when we let Him in!

6/2/2010

Spanish class was just funny; all of those crazy R.M.'s have really grown on me. Hermano Alba decided that we should start doing a good news minute before class, but the name "good news minute" was "too femme." So he changed the name to the "gnarly news." Ha! Then all of the news we had from a few of the guys was about girls in their lives. So much for avoiding femininity.

6/4/2010

Note to self: attempting cartwheels on the lawn at 12am doesn't make my chances of actually being able to do one go up. It just gives me fat bruises.

8/9/2010 (this is the entire entry)

15 hours in a car...is too many.

9/5/2010

Ike's birthday partay and dinner were fantastico--homemade tomato soup+homemade rolls. Ellie was really hyper during the opening of the presents (when is she not?). She gave Isaac a book she bought at some garage sale, called "Cupid Explains it All." Caleb said, "Ellie, Cupid's just a false god, so you shouldn't be giving that to Isaac anyway." What da?!

9/11/2010

As for my first race, this is what I learned: you should learn to eliminate the word "can't" from your vocabulary when you set a goal if you really want to achieve it.

11/16/2010 *the day I wore a shower cap to the grocery store cuz I lost a bet*

It wasn't really that bad...at first I was really embarrassed when I put it on, cuz I could feel everyone staring at me. I guess I know how people with physical deformities feel now. A little empathy never hurt anybody. After awhile it was kinda fun to do my shopping with a straight face and an ugly shower cap on my head. When the cashier checked me out she asked how I was doing. I was temped to say, "Oh, I'm feeling very clean, thanks!" Ha! But I didn't.

11/31/2010

Today my eyes were opened and I had the biggest a-ha moment evah. I feel like a new person, and it feels really good. Yesterday was kind of yucky, not gonna lie, but there's always darkness before the sun comes out, right? This new Kenzie is going to be assertive. She's going to love herself and not apologize for it. She's going to serve someone every day, even if it's just little things. She will pray with sincerity and hope, believing in the plan that Heavenly Father has for her. She will keep smiling, keep being a friend, keep being confident in where she's going. She will find joy in the little things.

12/2/ 2010

I was sitting at my desk, in front of my computer, minding my own bidnez, when one of those red-vested librarian dudes walked by. He tripped on my computer cord and simultaneously winked at me! I think everyone saw...and I was weirded out. Some people are too generous with their winks. Just sayin'.

weekend update: brought to you by a few redheads

on friday nights in the streets of tehuacan, there's a few things you should be aware of:

doesn't matter how ugly/fat/pockmarked/zombie-eyed you feel. if you are female, every guy will whistle at you, call you "baby," or recite to you all of the english they know--usually compressed into one word, like "hello.goodbye.ilikeit."

on one particular friday evening, me and my three amigas were walking past a futbol court at 12:45 am (don't worry mom, we had heavy books with us. and i know some boxing moves now). all of a sudden, whistles rang out. just think 4th of july, only the fireworks are human. and they're not illegal (usually. haha).

the weeks are flying by here. i cannot believe it's already almost march. do you know what march is? my last full month in mexico. doink.

this week...

• my ipod went missing for a week but showed itself again after lots of prayers and some diligent mexican children who wanted to find their teacher's iPod.
• i slept through an earthquake. how does this happen, you ask? especially when a bunch of my other compadres woke up mid-air? Well, you see, I have this little problem called allergies. And they regularly knock me out with wrecking ball strength. i'm pretty bummed.
• i killed about a thousand cockroaches. i'm starting to become so skilled at this particular activity that i can now spot them using my peripheral vision. just call me spiderwoman.
• i dictated a story written by my students. someday soon i will post it on this blog. it's too funny not to share. preview: it involves las vegas, a casino, a smackdown (between me and a girl named Ana Paula), kissing, shopping, and New York City. I think these kids watch too many mexican soap operas. but that's just what i think. what do i know?
• i listened to the opening theme from "the adventures of pete & pete" about ten times. it's only 58 seconds, guys. do you remember that show? only my family will get this: "i can smell his fear, and it smells like bacon." ahh, 1993. where have you gone?
• i dreamt the following (all in one dream, by the way): i weighed 300 pounds, my computer completely died, i was sent home for sleeping through school one day, i found out i was adopted, my dad came to teach in my place, and he was wearing those green overalls spotted on mom's blog.
• i ate tacos filled with cesa. cesa=pig brain. oh yes i did.
• i watched the first twilight and laughed really hard. i shoulda worn my "team edward" shirt. oh wait, don't have one. dangit.

you wanna know what i realized this week? my family is probably the best, funniest, most supportive, wonderful, coolest family in. the. world.

i miss them a lot.

i also realized that rockin' the harold b. lee's is starting to become a flop instead of a fad. for some people. for example:

oh, and one more thing. i need a haircut again, real bad. any thoughts on the subject? here's what i'm leanin' to.

hey look, another redhead. they're takin' over this blog it seems.

see what i mean?

farewell, all you lurkers. i know you're reading this by the way.

(oh have you guys seen my tabs? i think they're pretty sweet. just sayin'. check 'em out!)

it's gonna be a mushy day when i leave

Last night I had a terrible but very realistic dream.

I dreamt that I went back to the United States.

I know, I know, not so terrible when you think about all of the positives:

no having to get a hot shower by lighting the boiler outside with a candle

no sweeping the floor constantly because there's no such thing as carpet

nobody whistling at your or makin' smoochy noises every time you walk down the street...haha

no being thousands of miles away from your family

But, in my dream, I was devastated. I just wanted to go back to Mexico, to my students, to the other teachers, to the whole dadgum place.

I cried and cried and cried at the airport. Teo (the stake prez and ILP director) gave us all of our money back and some McDonald's coupons as compensation (???). My mom came to get me at the airport and told me that she had gotten me an accounting job in Rexburg, but that I was too poor to live in the apartment I've been living in, so I moved into a super-ghetto one instead.

Sniffle. On top of all that, it was below zero when I pulled into Rexburg. I know right now it's January, but sometimes I forget.

Then I woke up in my apartment with the dusty floor, in a strange city that I've already grown to love, and breathed a sigh of relief.

I think it's safe to say that April 9th is going to be an emotional day.

The End.

p.s. i just thought of a solution: marry a mexican! what do you think, padres? at least my children would be fantastic at soccer!