i was happy, so i wrote it down

1. only the best pandora station ever ever ever. ever.

2. raw almonds, in my cereal, in my yogurt, in my mouth. mmmm almonds.

3. this yellow beanie. i wear it all the time. chelsea called it the hobo hat. do you concur?

4. checking out one book every day of the week from the library. i think the librarian man is starting to recognize me. he even calls me by name. that sly fox.

5. spring starting to show its face. i know it's rainy, but that's the equivalent of an oregon spring to me, so. it's a start.

6. writing brain barfs for class. brother cameron told us to write one based on a prompt he got from 2 Nephi when Nephi says "I glory in my Jesus." Hence this:

My Jesus is running into that burning building, teetering one way or the other, not knowing if he is coming out again, he is falling asleep wondering about his children, what they will become, if they will remember everything he taught them, he is watching a friend stumble, down and down, only to be there at the bottom, already waiting with arms oustretched, he is watching carefully out the window when the thunderstorms roll in with such precision he made, he is waiting for the moment when the light touches the sky just perfectly and then he knows, he knows, he is pulling me up the hill when my legs give out, they just won’t go because I am so imperfect and so weak, there he is again to tell me of course you can, so I do it, he is walking on trails in the forest, listening for the sound of the sea, thinking of the questions lost there and how he will answer them all, he is playing music alone.

7. shredding the ivory in the practice rooms in the Snow Building. Sometimes the pianists next door to me get really loud, so we have duets. Yeah, it's kinda cool.

8. deciding what to do with that english major, por fin (that means finally). it involves traveling and teaching english. sounds like me, huh?

9. I'm gonna finish the Book of Mormon by the end of June! And that means I will be 1/4 of the way done with that goal of mine! (see #2)

10. naps+crazy dreams in which my parents give me a giant laptop for graduation and it gets washed away in a giant tsunami. huh?

11. first time at big judd's. ahh yeah.

12. people who dare to walk around rexburg like this:

if she wants to wear a cape, more power to her.

{ha...accidental joke. sorry. i know i'm the only one laughing.}

13. ashley and i's to-do list for the semester. it involves lots of camping, hiking, fishing, rafting, and general mischief. hopefully the weather will soon cooperate. if not, well i guess we'd better get some good rainboots.

14. taco bus twice in one week. it's so delicious, i can't stay away. plus, they have novelas on in there. it's not like i can't watch novelas in my own apartment. it's just that in the taco bus, i don't feel as ashamed for doing so. that is all.

15. this devotional. i can't get it out of my head.

16. everyone who reads this blog and does not comment, because you boost my self-esteem just for reading it (that includes you from iran, france, africa, mexico, and brazil. yes, i know you read my blog, and you are cool for doing so).

I Believe

This morning when I woke up I noticed the sun shining through my window...the sun! At last! But all day today I felt a special spirit which didn't have too much to do with the weather. It was more to do with my testimony of the gospel. After a day like today, I feel like shouting it from the rooftops, or writing it in a letter to a friend, or even just singing a hymn about it. Jesus Christ did die for us, He did suffer for us, and He did perform the greatest miracle of them all when He was resurrected from the grave. I know it! I know it more than I know anything else, and I also know that He loves us. He loves us so perfectly that we can't even comprehend it--we can only feel it and act upon it.

In the past year, especially in these few years I've been up at school, I have felt myself grow closer to Him. Last semester I learned that early morning scripture study is the best way to build our foundations on Christ. I also learned that morning prayers are an important key to having the Spirit with us all day. I learned that making time for the temple each week is another special way we can become closer to the Lord and show our love for Him. This semester, my goal is to serve people more--to really get to know them and find out what their needs are. I'm not saying I'm going to know all of their troubles and sorrows, because I'm not like Christ in that I know everyone perfectly. But I can lead others to Him by treating them as He would. I can be His hands.

I hope you all had a lovely Easter!

I wanted to share this video with you as soon as I watched it (thanks dad). It really exemplified Christlike love for me and I thought it was appropriate for this day. Love to you all!

little prayers and smiling

liz, don't kill me for posting these pictures. they never fail to make me laugh.

This week has been stuffed full of happiness for some reason.

Oh wait, I know what the reason is--I decided to be happy! When you decide to be happy, that makes all the difference in the world. Seriously, nothing can tear you down. Doesn't matter if you can't get your bike into 2nd gear while going uphill, or if you have to wear a shower cap to the grocery store because you lost a bet, or if you got a B on a test instead of an A. You can still be a reallly happy person. I know because all of this has happened to me this week and I've kept smiling through it all.

I know some people who smile and say they are "fine" on the outside. And we all know what "f.i.n.e." stands for, right? Well if you were to ask me how I was doing (like the checkout lady did while trying to avoid staring at my shower cap), I wouldn't just say "fine." I would say "I'm doing excellent!" or "I'm doing so good I make Bill Gates look like a poor man." Dude, that analogy totally failed. And I just called everyone who reads this blog "dude." College is doing wonders for me, guys.

But honestly, this has been my best semester yet, and I think I can trace it back to a few things:

1-my early morning scripture study. this truly changes my entire day if I can just get a half an hour in.

2-my early morning prayers. David A. Bednar said this about prayer: "Morning and evening prayers—and all of the prayers in between—are not unrelated, discrete events; rather, they are linked together each day and across days, weeks, months, and even years...Such meaningful prayers are instrumental in obtaining the highest blessings God holds in store for His faithful children."

Isn't that the coolest thing?!!!

3- my "little" prayers. This includes prayers about little, seemingly insignificant things that I didn't used to pray about. I have found that God really does answer every righteous prayer that is offered up with "real intent." If you are too afraid to ask the Lord for help with something because you think He is "above" it somehow, think again! He knows you the best & knows exactly how to answer your prayers.

4-walking/bike riding to class. I have learned the value of saying hi to people as I walk to class and saying their names.

5-exercise+delicious food. Even if I don't wanna and I don't think I have time, whenever I exercise, I feel so much better. And my pants, well, let's just say they are immodest without a belt. Gulp.

6-becoming a social butterfly. Ha....um....alright, so let me define this. Most of you know I have been a wallflower for most of my life. Ever since Fall 2008, I've gotten a little bit more outgoing. But this semester I had an epiphany (as well as a lovely talk with my Bishop)--you've got to put yourself out there and take risks if you want something really worthwhile! So be nice to everybody! Be a good friend! Don't be afraid to be yourself. These are no-brainers for some people, but for me, well, it took awhile.

6-choosing to be happy and smiling no matter what. I used to get discouraged about little things. Now I try to do just the opposite--get really happy about little things. Find joy in the blessings you see every day. I like to make those happy lists because it makes me notice the tender mercies, and I am overflowing with gratitude.

I know this post was cheesy, but I just had to write it. Life is just too good.

xoxo, kenz

i submit to you that a creepier picture does not exist anywhere on this planet.

una lista de felicidad

just imagine your monday is HERE

Ohhhhh, I am very happy today. Remember how Mondays used to be kind of looked down upon? I feel bad for them! I just had a random memory: when I was a kid, I used to sleep with lots of stuffed animals. Oh yeah, and my bed could fly. No joke. Usually we flew to Arabia or India....I was into the Middle East.

Anyway, if my stuffed animals ever fell off my bed during mid-flight (like, over the ocean, for example), I would quickly snatch them "out of thin air" and save them. I always felt so bad for the stuffed animals who were lying on my floor in the morning. Because technically, they were dead. I chose to ignore that fact.

Mondays are kind of like those stuffed animals that got kicked out of bed after I fell into deep R.E.M. And you know what? I think Mondays are pretty awesome and shouldn't be kicked out of bed so often.

So I shall now make a list of pure, unadulterated happiness for Monday, and figuratively "snatch it out of thin air." Dang. That. Was. Random.

1. Taking baby steps to class so I don't slip on the ice. Ice=bad, baby steps=good, walking on ice=worth the danger of walking on it. Me explica?
2. Making one-bowl brownies and giving them away. There will be a more embarrassing post on this later.....
3. Writing thank-you notes to my friends, just because. They can't even ask me why I did it.
4. Waking up laughing. Yeah, this actually happened to me today. I think I dreamt I was a stand-up comedian.
5. Oooooooooklahoma where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain! Um, so I watched that this weekend, and I realized that people don't flirt like they used to. Back in those days, girls just had to do ballet moves around a guy and they were as good as engaged. I've never been to country dancing up here...does anyone know if this tactic still works?
6. Learning about sangre (blood) in science class. Sangre just sounds better. But blood, oh man, it is SO COOL!
7. Homemade squash soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Alright, just lunch. But if I only had to eat one food for the rest of my life...it would be....chocolate. Almost had you, didn't I?
8. Music that nobody has ever heard of. It is just the best.
9. The smell of the Taylor Building. I like to go inside just so I can pretend I'm at Temple Square.
10. Writing my name on the window when our apartment steams up because there's a zillion people inside. Remember when your mom wouldn't let you draw on the car window after you breathed on it? Well, I finally got it out of my system.
11. DP's, a.k.a. dance parties. Chels and me initiate them spontaneously. Blame it on Michael Jackson's rhythm.
12. Reading in the Book of Alma---'tis my favorite book in El Libro de Mormon. I'm glad I don't have to choose, though. So very glad.
13. Did I just put Alma and Michael Jackson on the same happy list? Oh man.
14. Doing dishes...whaat? I can't believe I just confessed to that. But it's true. I don't mean loading dishes into the dishwasher, nah, I like to get the hot water and the suds going so there's bubbles floating all around the room, and then I crank the music up and scrub. I think I just made doing dishes sound like a New Year's Eve Party. Whatev.

into the deep end we go

Before drifting off into nap-world today after stake conference, I read a poem about onions. It made me want to start my "poem-a-day" thing again. I liked that thing I did, once upon a time in high school.

This past week I've felt like I was racing against an avalanche...and guess what? I outran it. All because of a wonderful thing called the weekend, and in particular, the Sunday part of the weekend.

But I know that the difficulties aren't going to end now that I've been refreshed, now that I've renewed my covenants, Now that I've looked back on mistakes I've made in the past week and resolved not to make them again, because of the time I lost, because of the Thursday I had (remember that post? I'm sorry about that post. Still.). Nope, the test isn't over until that trumpet starts playing some tunes, and even then, I know that the learning by trial and error will still continue.

That brings comfort to my heart. Because I know I'm not perfect or anywhere close to it right now, but I also know that I can become perfect through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that everybody has that chance! Isn't that a miracle? Yeah, it is.

So onto the next week, the next challenge, the next tumble onto the hard pavement (metaphorically speaking...at least, I hope so), and the next goal to overcome.

"Faith as the assurance of things hoped for looks to the future. This assurance is founded upon a correct understanding about, and trust in, God and enables us to 'press forward' (2 Nephi 31:20) into uncertain and often challenging situations in the service of the Savior." -David A. Bednar

-lurv, mckenzers-

it comes and goes in waves

{hello, good morning}

This morning when I headed off into the sunrise on my bicycle I made sure that 1) I was fully awake and 2) that it was really Friday. I could tell I was awake because my bike was moving, strangely...and I knew it was Friday because people walking to class were smiling more than usual.

On Sunday I had a strong feeling. If you read my blog a lot, you know I get this feeling a lot. A lot a lot a lot. Well, this time I felt like I needed to start studying my scriptures earlier. Much earlier. For most of my life I've done it before bedtime.

You see, for the entire first week of school I felt like I wasn't getting as much out of my scribber study as I could. Sometimes you think you are doing the best you can, when really you are only doing the "good" or the "better" part. My professors were inadvertently dropping hints about the merits of early mornings all week. So I knew what I had to do. Not to mention that other member of the Godhead. Sometimes He is persistent.

On Monday morning, the alarm went off at 5:30 AM. As of last week, "AM" just stood for "A Mistake," and I went back to sleep. But not this time, baby. I've been going for 5 days now and I can truly say that it was the best move I've made in a long time. However, none of the credit should go to me.

The amazing thing about getting up this early is the effect it has on the rest of my day. I don't usually need a nap, even though on days that I got up at 6:30 just to get ready for school, no scripture study included, I needed a nap. Now I get up an hour earlier and I don't need no nap. Better yet, I pay attention pretty well in my classes and actually participate. Imagine that.

On Monday, day one, my journal entry looked like this:

"Here's what happened today as a result of this amazing thing called fervent scripture study:

I got everything+then some done on my To-Do list in a good amount of time; managed time wisely

Was able to understand what went on in Spanish class, and I liked it

Asked the right questions

Ate healthy, exercised, no problem, mon

Went to work and loved it--did I mention I have 7 students and I got a raise?!

Wanted to smile at everyone and I think I did...

Couldn't litter...haha. "My conscience was pricked" as the gum wrapper fell...

Rode my bike uphill to class and smiled for most of it

Acted like my crazy self, and that's OK

Gave a spiritual thought for FHE which really wasn't from me, if you know what I mean

less sarcastic, more loving

got on the Jamba Juice wall! Alright, this has nothing to do with my morning scripture study. I just had to say it.

High self-esteem

More sincere prayers

Made my bed! This is epic for sure. "

some habits come and go in waves.

we stop biting our nails off, but we keep chewing them.
we give up sugar, but not chocolate (yeah, right).
we resolve to make more friends, but then we just smile at people.
the gym fills up in january, then gradually empties by march.
we say our morning prayers, but then by friday we're sleeping through them.
every week we promise to remember Him, to take upon us His name, but every week we have to be reminded again.

it's ok, because it's human nature.

But I also know that our Creator intended for us to become something. We're made from the same mold as diety. Remember? So we should be able to do this kind of stuff, getting up at 5:30.

I'm pretty sure God is a morning person, anyway.

Let's hope this habit comes and stays.

fragility

Doctrines of the Gospel class today was

all about

the resurrection.

Our last class was about

death and the spirit world.

Before class started,

Brother Allison made an announcement

He said, "You guys know Isaiah, who sat right over there?"

I knew before he even said the words.

We all held our breath.

He then told us that Isaiah had died this past weekend,

very suddenly of course,

leaving behind a 5-month old baby and a wife.

I sat there with my mouth hanging open...

It's always a shock to the system

when someone dies

but when it's someone you saw in class 5 days ago

and they aren't much older than you

it's a little bit heavier.

I was also assigned to give the doctrinal report today,

meaning that I got up

and shared some scriptures and quotes

about the resurrection.

Suddenly my assignment

became something a little bit more,

and I started to get shaky

I felt like crying

But I didn't have an exact reason for it

I didn't know him very well

But he sat right across from me

Always gave really wonderful insights

I didn't know how to give my report

I know my voice cracked a little bit,

but I felt like sharing this quote:

Many who think that life is unfair do not see things within the larger vision of what the Savior did for us through the Atonement and the Resurrection. Each of us has at times agony, heartbreak, and despair when we must, like Job, reach deep down inside to the bedrock of our own faith. The depth of our belief in the Resurrection and the Atonement of the Savior will, I believe, determine the measure of courage and purpose with which we meet life’s challenges.

James E. Faust, “‘Woman, Why Weepest Thou?’,” Ensign, Nov 1996, 52

I tried hard to bear my testimony of the resurrection,

but I had to swallow the lump

just a few times.

This experience made me think really hard

about the things I value the most

and helped me remember

how very fragile our lives here are.

What are you grateful for today

that you might miss tomorrow?

I can think of a few things...

Thank goodness for this.