homestretch (or way too many parenthetical statements)

I feel like this right now.

here i am, just sittin' on my bed, with a bunch of my crap all over the place.

(word to my mother: it's going to be organized and packed by the time you arrive)

I have exactly 3 finals left to take, all tomorrow. I was shooting for straight A's but senioritis is brutal and leaves no survivors...

(hence the graduation ceremony this friday at 5:45, be there or be a square)

I'll settle for a few B's this time around.

I am so very sleepy. But this perpetual sleepiness is about to end, I think.

And a bunch of other things, too.

Like...

studying in the library (did that for the last time today)

or tutoring in the reading center (finished that on friday)

or working out in the Hart Building (I don't even remember...)

or using that dadgum oven that burns everything (successfully made some dutch babies on saturday and that was it)

or grocery shopping at overpriced places

(eating the last week of school is straight up ridiculous, btw)

or not doing my hair because i just plain do not have time

or devotionals (last one was last tuesday)

yeah, this is what the end feels like.

it feels like fall 2008 was 10 years ago.

and I know now, without any doubt in my mind,

that it's time to go.

so go I shall!

the next time I write on this, I will be a BYU-Idaho Alumni.

(I feel too young to have that license plate cover thing, just sayin')

Weird.

oh yeah, and I don't think I can use the "college" tag anymore after this.

I'll have to make one just for grad school. *shudder*

here we go again

the last thing I took a picture of in Mexico as my bus pulled away.

It was almost one year ago that I was getting ready to leave Mexico. And when I say "getting ready," I don't mean emotionally or mentally. Because honestly, nothing could have prepared me for the last day I had with my students, or with my roommates. Nothing could have prepared me for that moment when I pulled out of the bus station, (feeling like crapola, by the way) and my heart literally hurting. It was like it was being punched.

I remember looking out the window as we drove out of the city, at this wonderful place I had no idea I'd grow to love so much. But mostly it was the people I knew I would miss. I saw the part of the city we'd gotten lost in my first week. I saw the centro, where we walked almost every day and got stared at by who knows how many people. I saw the bakery where we got goodies every night. The last thing I saw of Tehuacan was the crummy old swimming pool. Yeah, it was run-down and broken, but I still have it in my mind as the last thing I saw of that place. I tried to imagine coming back someday. Basically, goodbyes really stink.

And now I'm 12 days away from leaving another place I've grown so used to. I didn't realize it until this semester, but Rexburg is my home. It has been for 3 and a half years, and I know it very well. I know where the best food is (if you don't know what I'm thinking of you haven't been reading this blog for long enough). I know the best places to ride your bike. I know the best place to study in the library (yes, the exact cubicle). I know which park is the prettiest in autumn. I know the people who work in the baptistry at the Rexburg Temple.

But something I have come to know better than all these places is myself. I wasn't supposed to come to this school, you know. At least, not according to my plan. But Heavenly Father worked His magic and I ended up here anyway. I remember at freshman orientation they kept telling us we weren't here by accident. I wanted to believe it! And now I don't just believe that's true; I know it. I can't imagine the person I'd be if I hadn't come here.

Where would I be without having ever met Courtie or Chelsea-boo? I don't want to know.

What funny stories would I tell about Fall 2009 if I hadn't been a night custodian?

What inappropriate things would I be unaware of if I hadn't been the only girl in a Spanish class full of boys countless times (no really...sometimes I wonder)?

How lame would the college experience have been without getting lost a million times, making the time capsule, eating the G's Dairy platter with 3 other girls, having a dance party while doing dishes, stealing a piece of the hammock (that's another story), sleeping under the stars at Badger Creek, eating lime freezes in Driggs (not to mention being served by the girl who really wanted us to know who her ex-boyfriend was. Sarah, if you're reading this I hope you're laughing), jumping off the dunes for no good reason, ambushing those boys with water balloons. I mean really, where would I be?

Anyhow, I'm glad I ended up where I did. And now it's the end. Time for a new adventure. Deep breath. Here I go.

and now a trip down memory lane (a.k.a picture overload) here's a song to listen to while you scroll. man, I'm weird. everything has to have a soundtrack.

our very first concert in the Hart Building as little freshman...awww.

p.s. Rachie (the redhead) is married now and Courtie is on a mission.

still one of the best apartments of all time. ahh, good ol' 601.

I can't even remember why we went to the mall that night...but we did. And then we found a children's toy and the rest is history.

this was very late at night. a car-dance-party shortly followed.

the infamous hammock. so many good things happened there. Except for that time Liz shouted an inappropriate (and also funny) thing to passerby. And also when I fell out because we got too much momentum. Or when Chels made this face.

also at the mall. some music came on, and we started "dancing."

first and last bonfire.

one night an awesome lightning storm was happening by the temple, so we drove over there to watch. and then we got really smart and ran out into the open field to take pictures. during a lightning storm. in other words, I should be dead in this picture.

I miss all of these peeps. This is the original Willie Wednesday Crew, minus Sarah Bedke. We carried on the tradition (Sarah Willie and I) after all of these people left, and now Willie's gone and it's solo yo. Soon I shall be gone too. Oh how things change.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: don't hate on the Skintimate.

seriously.

did you know this was one of the best nights of my life? I thought the picture would make it obvious, but just in case you were wondering...

this was the best costume ever of all time. and someone actually thought I was a bunch of balloons (which I was, literally, but Halloween is all 'bout the imagination, dude)

I would really like to know how much frozen yogurt I have consumed while living here. Then again, maybe I don't...

Dear Chelsea, I miss you a lot. You come home in September. Crazy. I hope we can switch identities again like we did in this picture. Sincerely, Kenzie

Word to my family coming to visit in a week: we are GOING to G's Dairy Delights. You have no choice in the matter.

This was the first of many "Friday Night Freeze Outs."

Some people ice skate, but we ice stumbled. It was still fun.

I like this picture a lot because it pretty much explains how I feel about homework in general.

Also, Tessa should really get this framed. I still can't believe we paid $2 to go inside the Rigby TV Museum. Wait...yes I can.

Another really excellent set of roommates. Miss you all!

(p.s. two of the girls in this piksha are married and one is engaged. boo-ya!)

Dear Courtney, you get home really soon as well. Promise that we'll go on a road trip and get lost like old times? Love, Kenzie

my love for the taco bus has no bounds. and apparently the same goes for my friends. I have good friends.

mom, you could've used this on my grad announcement.

seriously.

what would college be without the yellow hat (and awkward mirror shots)?

like I said, taco bus=my true love

what a good parting shot.

promise I didn't forget about you

(finals week last fall, i barely survived that one)

It's that time of year again!

No, not Christmas, geesh. Don't get ahead of yourselves, folks.

It's finals week! Otherwise known as "must eat all the food I have left in my fridge which consists of milk, carrots, and flaxseed" week. Or "spend all my free time that I really don't have in the library eavesdropping on funny conversations" week. Or "lose all hope of sleep for the next few days because you ain't gettin' any" week. Or "sad because the semester went way too fast even though I kind of wished it upon myself" week. Yeah, that time of year.

I have approximately 2 hours of studying, 1 hour of exam-ing, and 1 hour of potluck-ing to do before Spring Semester 2011 is officially adjourned. Oh sweet relief.

In the meantime, here's a happy list I've accumulated over the past few days. Yes, it is huge. I call it the "the giant happy list of epic proportions and awesomeness." It's been stuck on the wall by my bed for the past week, and every night I pencil in a few things that made me happy. I can afford to waste just one more piece of paper. It's for a good cause, you know. Sanity always is.

6/10

• talking to Alyssa MC, she is the bomb.
• overnight oats with blueberries
• the moon outside my window
• singing primary songs @ a ward fireside

6/11

• Erin's hugs
• watermelon (an insane amount, I tell you)
• getting an unexpected A- in piano class, whaaa?
• my fan. I'd die without it.
• building on The Rock

6/12

• poetry readings (mine was about Prefontaine, baby)
• the smell of rain on hot pavement
• not having to turn in an assignment I lost
• re-painting my nails
• mango/pineapple/banana smoothies, ohmylanta
• not wearing makeup and then rubbing my face
• cleaning apartment #5's kitchen and living room, for no reason besides happiness
• "Surprise Homecoming" show on TLC. It's a tear-jerker, kids.
• Bike fixed at last!!!!!!!!!!!!

6/13

• yummy food all day
• park + Sisterhood of the T-Pants w/ Amy (yeah, I just said T-pants, I dunno where it came from)
• pre-bed showers
• summer breezes
• talking to Ikey

6/14

• napping in the Ricks Gardens
• temple w/ Amy
• being baptized for Mexicans (one was from Puebla!)
• homemade popcorn
• patriarchal blessings
• Isaiah 17:10

6/15

• Harry Potter 7.2 (now what do I do?!)
• Reese's Pieces
• laughing at certain movie trailers about certain vampires

6/16

• Craigo's with Apt. #5, my adopted apartment this semester
• Zac Efron and 17 Again, ahhhh
• funny girls in my ward

6/17

• ward potlucks
• my mom
• knowing all will be well in the end
• naps
• Falafel!
• Sunday night walks

Next time I see you, it will be in American Fork! Or if you are not a member of my family or a friend from my hometown...keep lurking! I'll be back with more when this is all over.

feeling reminiscent? check out my blogs about finals week last summer here and here or last fall

thought process

contemplation is a favorite word of mine. and currently that's what i'm experiencing: lots of contemplation. lots of thinking about mexico, and leaving mexico in 12 days.

today i thought about what i'll be doing on the plane. probably crying.

i also told my kids i had two weeks left with them, so they'd better listen. to some, it wasn't so much a threat as a reason to celebrate.

but others said, "ohhh teacher...you're going to return, right?" i wish they wouldn't do that sometimes. i just can't stand the thought of leaving them.

and then there's the teachers. yesterday i spent all day with kaitlyn and her family (her entire family, which translates to a lot of mexicans). i felt like i was at one of my own family reunions. it was a surreal feeling. i had to remind myself that i was in mexico; but i have to do that a lot.

i have grown to love this place more than i thought i would.

i have become a different person, but i think i'm still the same kenzie. just with more pieces to my puzzle. make sense? and those pieces will always belong to mexico.

last night i made a list of all the things i'm going to do in the next 12 days.

it's pretty small.

mostly it says to be patient with my students, teach them all i can, and then somehow tell them goodbye, in my regular, kenzie fashion.

what i really wish i could do is take all my favorites back with me and then we could all live on the same street together. and i would see them on the weekends, and we'd play soccer together, and eat pizza, and i would teach them funny phrases in english.

and the teachers, we would be best friends for the rest of our lives.

today i told my friend/fellow teacher sara that it doesn't feel right to me that we're all leaving now. i said, "it's like we were a band, and now we're breaking up...and it's just not right."

i just want the music to keep playing.

and to never end.

yep, this song was on the "bucket list." it's not my fault there's coincidences all over the place.

one month from now, i'll need to borrow some kleenex

benji is a creeper...

i go crazy after teaching all day every day, clearly. but i like it.

this is my "what the heck are ya doin' now?!" face.

me trying to stop them from demolishing my computer. oy.

Today is the one-month mark. Already?!!

How this happened, I'm not quite sure.

Yesterday when I told my kids my last day of teaching was April 8th, the first words out of their mouth were "Aw teacher" and "party." Mexicans know how to throw parties. But this one will be happy/sad. Mostly sad. I'm afraid they will probably see their teacher cry. Not like they haven't seen that before, right?

If they didn't say such cute things, it wouldn't be so hard to leave them.

If the food wasn't so delicious, I might have an easier time leaving that, too.

If the people weren't so generous and kind and smiley, maybe I could get on that airplane without leaving a piece of my heart behind.

Oh Mexico, what have you done to me?