soon it will be cold enough to build fires

october=bonfire season

lately
I've been writing more and more letters, to strangers and friends alike. It revives me after a week of sending hundreds of flat, lifeless business letters. Today I got one in return, waxed seal and all. Thanks, Brit. A reply is forthcoming. Did I just say forthcoming? Yeah...yeah I did.

My favorite band broke up. Maybe if we're lucky Justin V. will retreat to the woods and write another amazeballs album, which will come out in like 10 years. Complete with a free canoe on the side.

I picked up my guitar...and harmonica. And tried to channel my inner Bob Dylan, but it didn't work because #1, I don't have an afro, #2, I don't have one of those super flattering headgear harmonica holder things, and #3, I'm not Bob Dylan. Oh yeah! Hey, if Cate Blanchett can pull it off, why not me? Don't answer that.

=

?!

The radio in my car started to work again one morning, but this is only half good because every time I go over a bump in the road, the station changes itself. There are no numbers on the dial, so I have to guesstimate where all of the good music is. In case you were wondering, 75% of the roads in American Fork are "under construction" and have been for the past 20 years. So you can just imagine the music smorgasbord I experience every day without really wanting to.

My fellow compadres at work gather at the lunch table every day and discuss the weirdest things. I think I'm going to start making flow charts, because the things we get off topic on are ten levels weirder than weird. You would understand if you talked to the people I talk to 8 hours of every day. I'm not kidding about these conversations, though. Everyone else in the room will not-so-subtly stand nearby and eavesdrop, then laugh out loud, totally blowing their cover.

Example of today's conversations: owl pellets, seafood, large creepy fish, the fish farm in Oregon, Costco, Costco hot dogs, PMS, the people at Social Security offices who deserve to have their eyebrows shaved off, etc. I bet you could find a common thread if you really tried.

I started to knit again and oh gash, it is the hardest thing anyone ever invented with two sticks. I'm pretty sure drumming would be easier. But drumming does not produce beanies, an item which someone like me happens to need copious amounts of. Dang, that was a terrible sentence.

Stuff I am currently craving: (and by currently I mean 24/7/365 but now it's legal) 

dead leaves everywhere

pumpkin

scruff. always.

Talks you should read if you want your mind blown: this, this, and this. Sha-bam. 

Songs you should listen to if you want your ears to be happy: 

this video..kill me dead.

can we talk about how it's september already?

don't be sad, scarecrow, it's almost October! yess!

GUYS. I completely and utterly remember April..and I remember those two graduation ceremonies which were kind of excruciatingly long, and I remember being starving, and also not wanting my picture taken but not being a great position to avoid that.

My ability to form sentences has greatly diminished since I got that diploma in the mail (classy, right?).

Anyway, the point is, the summer has evaporated along with all of the other moisture in Utah. And it's all gone up in flames now...also like Utah.

Sometimes I get sad about summer ending, but not this year. This summer was a tough one. Plus, it was super-stinking hot. I'm not a fan of heat. I'll take rainyness and even a little snow over a scorching day. Then I can wear Mr. Yellow Hat anytime I don't feel like doing my hair (everyday, btw).

Now it's officially time to wear boots and scarves, and I did my duty and wore both today. Okay, so it wasn't that smart considering the temperature climbs to about 80 degrees by midday. That's how September is. I'm impatient for October 11 months out of the year. Or maybe I'm just impatient to stop shaving my legs...such is life!

Tessa Matthews asked me to give her the haps. So Mrs. Matthews, here ya go:

Ellie came into my room yesterday with one goal in mind: to get money from me. If only my cash flow was as abundant as the number of tweets about Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. Oops, did I say that out loud? So back to Ellie. She came into my room and said, "Hey Kenzie, I really need some money. And if you don't give me some I'm gonna be really mad." This girl knows how to fundraise. There's a reason so many people bought girl scout cookies from her this summer, and it's not because of her cuteness. Ok, well maybe a little bit. Observe:

My job is kind of hilarious. I'm getting pretty good at it now. The first week was stressful up the heeeeezy because I got a huge caseload and oh man it was way overdue and fjskljf;sajf;a but I got it figured out now. Mostly. And people seriously crack me up with the things they demand of me. For example:

"Hi, I was just wondering where my check is?"
"What check? You mean for disability?" Ha..oh man. Then I have to tell them their "check" ain't comin' for at least 18 months. Sorry charlie.

Oh and my favorite one:

"Hey, how come Social Security is sending me paperwork? I thought you were supposed to fill it all out." "Um, no I can't fill it out. Only you know yourself and what you do every day. You have to fill it out."
"What did I even hire you for then? What do you even do all day?" *Facepalm* TIMES A THOUSAND.

And then sometimes, the clients get all TMI up in my grill and I cannot handle it. So I try really hard not to react while I'm on the phone with them, but as soon as I hang up I have to bust a gut. They think that me, being their case manager, must know every single detail of their disability. And I mean every. detail. Sometimes they send me photos. At which point I must poke my mind's eye out.

Today is September 12th. So now it will be less than a month until I see this wonderful person otra vez:

Can I get a holllllllla?! Yes I am pretty excited. I'm even trying to speak gangster. Which comes not-naturally to me. Because I am 100% Caucasian. The End.

and now, I have compiled a photographic list of reasons I miss Rexburg right now:

the building on the hilltop.

the view from my room.

Willie Wednesdays (on Thursdays)

el taco bus

Reesey, my favorite reading center student ever of all time

enough snow to make an actual couch, ahh yeah

friends like this

how can you not love her?

back from a long reprieve

this is how you all feel about me, isn't it? (you don't have to answer that)

Guys, I just used the word "reprieve" in a blog title. I'd like to thank the academy for...okay what? It's been awhile. I hardly know how to do this blog thang anymore. Would you like the juicy deets? Alrighty then. Here goes:

I went hiking last weekend and I fell (not surprising). This fall wasn't that awesome. All I did was have a moment of sheer klutzery and scrape my leg on some gravel (p.s. we were on a trail not meant for humans, so it was kind of the mountain's fault, not mine). But now everybody wants to be my friend so they can find out what the heck happened to my leg. I've decided to start making a tally of how many times a day I get asked, "What happened to your leg?!" followed by the inevitable hairy eyeball. Strangers and friends alike have all gaped at my gash. What's worse is that I can't shave it (ew, just thinking of that makes me want to gag a little), so now it's hairy and scabby.

Now that I've used "hairy and scabby" in the same sentence to describe myself, this blog has reached a new low. Again, I'd like to thank the academy. What academy I'm thanking I'm not so sure. I'll get back to you.

My new job has become another new job as I got promoted, and went through training yet again. Our trainer described the new job thus: "You guys are basically fancy babysitters." Right you are! What she means to say is, I call people and make sure they're going to their doctor's appointment so they don't get denied, I call social security offices around the country to make sure they're getting our paperwork, and in the meantime I hear some preeettty hilarious stuff. For example:

• "Dear Mr. So-and-so, we are denying you for disability benefits because we found you are in prison for murdering someone. Also, you missed your appointment on such-and-such day." Well duh. Of course he did. But what was that about murdering someone?
• "Dear Mrs. So-and-so, we are denying you for disability benefits because we found your assets exceed the limit social security has established. We found that your husband has $1,000,000 in his bank account." Yeah, she was pretty mad about the government finding that one out. I"m sorry to say that when that happens, some people actually say, "Well if I get a divorce from my spouse will their assets affect me?" For reals. Free money is not worth it. 
• And then sometimes the state social security offices are busy (and by sometimes I mean always), and I get to call the national Social Security office. Which is the ultimate experience in facepalming. I've decided to make a collage in my cubicle of awesome art I have created while being on hold with social security. By the way, these are no mediocre doodles. They can take all dang day! And ya, that means it can take all dang day to get in touch with someone at that number. And then when you finally tell them you're so-and-so's attorney, they go, "Um, your name isn't on the 1696 is it?" (1696=the form that says we represent the client). "Well, no, but Brad Myler's name is on it" (he's the head honcho). "Ok, well if your name isn't on it then I can't give you any information." "But-but-but I was on hold for fifteen--" BAM. Facepalm. Guys, the club cannot handle me right now. I want to wring the club's metaphorical neck sometimes. Ugh.

Alright, now if that last paragraph wasn't passive-aggressive enough for you, I suggest going to CNN and reading in the comments section below any article.

I promise I'll be better about this blogging thing. It's just that the end of summer is kind of whacked up. We run around like crazy headless chickens for three months, and sweat out everything we thought we had to sweat, and watch Utah burn to a crisp, and then bam! It's all over and we're making pancakes on the first morning of school and taking pictures of zombie-eyed children in their classy new clothes. I'll admit, I am jealous of everyone starting school again. I miss it so. Especially in the fall.

Speaking of fall, it's almost that time again. That "mellow, leaf-kicking pause." The mysterious months when the ground crunches everywhere you go and the wind bites your cheek as it brushes past. I basically lurve it and I wish it was fall time all the time. In my heaven, that's what it will be. So if you're planning on coming to visit me up there (and I know you are), just be sure to wear your cords/boots/knee socks/beanies/scarves/peacoats. Or whatever the heavenly equivalent to those things are...maybe like a wool  robe or something? 

Geesh, that sounds itchy and awful. Forget that idea. Whatever you wear, just make sure it's kosher for some pumpkin-picking, leaf-pile-jumping, soup-consuming celestialness. Aight? 

(it's okay, I don't know what I just said either)

maybe in my heaven I'll let cats come if they look as cool as this one does.

or maybe it's just the dead leaves that make him look cool.

let's not get too hasty, now, shall we?

the joys of (not) having a gall bladder

a picture of me back when i had a gall bladder (i.e. every day of my life up until july 23rd)

caleb's head is resting right about where my gall bladder used to be. awww. 

I'm still in a drug-induced haze, so we'll see how this blog even turns out. Here's the diet coke version (heh, I picked that up from my Spanish professor. But not anything Spanish-related...)

Starting last Monday, the 16th, I was going about my regular bidnez (work, exercise, eat, sleep, read, shower, blah blah). I had just eaten a loverly dinner of chicken and rice with broccoli. Normally I don't go into that much detail but it's important that you know what my last meal was before all this nonsense went down. Right in the middle of FHE, I felt a strange pain in my side, like I was being stabbed. Ugh! I've had weird stomach problems for who knows how long, but had never felt anything like this. I've been off of gluten, dairy, sugar, you know, the works. Nothing helped. My body refused to cooperate. I became a food snob, went on stupid diets, worked out like a crazy person. And yet, not too much changed.

So back to this epic stomachache. I took some medication and tried to lay down so the pain would leave, because I figured it was just a dumb stomachache. But it got worse, and then I couldn't breathe. What the junk?! This was not a regular stomachache. I asked my dad for a blessing, after which I promptly threw up three times. Awesome. I figured that would be all. Just to be safe, I called in sick the next day. For the next few days I didn't eat much besides saltines, applesauce, apple juice. Just fyi, saltines aren't food. They are simply the color beige plus a little salt on top. Not. Food. So of course I was starving, but everything else made my stomach hurt like hades.

On Friday morning, I was at work for one hour and started to feel pukey again. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that toast!" Word to my homefries: if a piece of toast is upsetting your stomach, you've got problems.  I couldn't sit without being in excruciating pain. Guess what, I sit all day long at work. So I decided to go home yet again and see if I could sleep it off. The pain steadily got worse. We went to urgent care, and the doctor there said I wasn't showing any "classic symptoms" for any one thing. Earlier in the week I had googled my symptoms and had a hunch it was something to do with my gall bladder. He told me it might be that but my blood test wouldn't come back 'til Monday. I took some more medicine and went to sleep. Then when I woke up I did a really dumb thing and ate some food, which induced yet another painful episode.

Cue some more throwing up, more pain, and prayers that it would just be over. When the doctor asks you what your pain is on a scale from 1-10, and you say "ten," that's a sign...to go to the hospital. I didn't know this. I thought I could endure it, but Saturday was the straw that broke this redheaded camel's back (whoa, weird image, am I right?). When I got to the E.R., I was in a weird state. I was in so much pain that it was almost like an out of body experience...I can't really explain it, but I knew I was in trouble. They asked me my pain level, and I think I mumbled "eight," but I didn't want them panicking on me. Hello, McFrenzy, this is the E.R. People get paid to go into panic mode here. Again, the pain was distorting everything.

I remember them putting me on a hospital bed and sticking me with an I.V. Usually I don't like getting poked with needles but by this point it felt like I was getting hugged by a Care Bear compared to the pain in my stomach. Then the most glorious thing ever happened! They gave me pain medication (apparently ten times stronger than morphine, boo-ya). I don't condone drugs, people, but after the pain I'd experienced, it was celestial. Ok, maybe I shouldn't compare pain medication to the celestial kingdom...but GUYS. I will always remember that moment when the pain went away. I know I did embarrassing things and I know I was reduced to a cavewoman (in terms of my speech), but I couldn't feel the pain anymore! YESSS!

For the next few days, I sat in my hospital bed and waited patiently for the doctor to say they would take out my gall bladder, which they did! On Monday morning they told me I was going in for surgery. The last thing I remember was them saying, "Okay, we're going to give you some Valium first..." which made me dizzy, but not totally asleep, and then they said, "We're putting this oxygen mask on your face, okay?" BAM. Lights out.

Other things to note: hospital gowns are never, ever flattering on anybody; chicken broth can be the best meal in the world when you haven't eaten for three days; popsicles are great for sore throats; the cooking channel and the food network are sadistic things to watch when you can't eat anything; you shouldn't invite your friends to come visit you because they'll laugh at everything you do (drugs=bad); if you start to feel any pain the nurse will inject you with that 10x stronger than morphine stuff (drugs=good); scars can be cool; people are actually very good; Priesthood blessings are the bee's knees; God really does answer your prayers but it's His timing that counts; showering with an I.V. is awkward; drugs make your dreams even more psycho; remote-controlled beds are overrated; fireworks are only fun if you can see them, otherwise they are really scary; getting an ultrasound when you're heavily medicated is like being in the Willy Wonka movie from the 60's.

Thus concludes the life of my crazy gall bladder. May you rest in peace.

in my bed, eating saltines

Has a sadder blog title ever been penned? I feel like a slug, therefore, I am. Some people think spending all day in your jammies is fun. But I dislike it. I feel all grodie and un-put-together and...well, sluggish. I think something's wrong with my gall bladder. TMI? Welp, you came to this blog knowing what I titled this post, so, sha-bam.

Here's that huge-mongo post I've been thinking about forever. And now, in the order I "previewed" each item....(drumroll please)

I'm skipping #1 for now because it needs a blog post all its own. NEXT!

#2: I haven't puked today. Yet.

#3: Recently I have discovered the beauty of Amazon MP3's. For real, why did I ever buy anything from iTunes? Did you know that some of the best albums ever made are 3 dollars on Amazon.com? DID YOU?! Okay, well, I just want you guys to know that I now have The Black Keys, Passion Pit, 2 Shins albums, Death Cab for Cutie, and a Bon Iver EP--and I spent 12 bucks on all that music. That's six albums, btw. Run along to amazon.com now.

Oh, and here's some music you should listen to right now. Kaitlyn and Scotty, this is for youuu!

Feist//The Circle Married the Line

Cake//Love You Madly

Grouplove//Tongue Tied

Bloc Party//Plans

Gotye//Eyes Wide Open

Dove//Sky Starts Falling

Radiohead//Gagging Order

oops..I got carried away again. Always happens with music. Doink!

#4: So here's the lowdown on my life. I got a jobbity-job. What? Anywho, I work in a sort-of call center. I say "sort of" because I'm on the phone but it's not a sales job or anything. People call me and I help them qualify for disability because they got rejected. And usually they give me their life story, and 110% of the time it's really sad and it makes me ten times more grateful. I feel like I have nothing to complain about now. Also, now I have moolah. Which means I can go to South America next year (CAN I GET AN AMEN). And I can actually buy some of that stuff on my stylin' pinboard. However, I shant forget Michael Scott's wise words on the subject:

Oh yeah...and after much thought, I decided not to move to Provorem this fall. I'll save some money (South America/Europe/grad school). And I won't hafta move! Moving is to me as Satan is to God. Was that sacrilege? Welp, I hate it.

#5: So during lunch I go outside and lay in the grass and eat and read a book. And I'm trying to squeeze in some more freckles before the summer ends, but I'm also technically not allowed in the sun for very long. Boo. I need someone to invent spray-on freckles.

#6: Some pictures for your enjoyment. Okay, let's face it, they're for me to stare at (because I'm the only one who read this blog anymore). And for Tori. :)

I dunno who this is and I don't even care. 

Hiddles

For Tessa. An early wedding present. 

#7: A couple of weeks ago I was meandering over on this blog (everyone meanders on this blog, so I'm not being original here). And she was having an AWESOME giveaway, which I did not win, but now I can probably most likely save money for one of these babies:

eeeeeeeeeek. If you see me cruising on this thang on one of my midnight bike rides, again, do not hit me, because I'll cry if you mess up my bike. Mess up my head, whatever. But not the bike!

#8: Ikey gets home from college this week, and he'll bring his car with him. The first adventure I will take this car on....this concert festival right hurrr. Come play with me if you want. Oh yeah, and the reason I get his car is because he's getting married. To Anna!

They're pretty cool together. August 4th, 2012, kiddos.

#9: Left to do on this summah to-do list: hike Timp, learn those songs on the geetar (slackerface), climb a tree, scera shell outdoor movie, finish the Book of Mormon (almost done!), and read a huge book. I kinda wanna scratch that last one because Anna Karenina is super hard to follow. In the meantime, I've read like 10 not-huge books. 

#10: And with that list being done-did, summer is ending. Usually this makes me kind of sad, but when I say "usually," I mean "not really," because  fall time is the best time. You all know it's true. First of all, pumpkin. Second of all, scarves/boots/orange sunsets/Halloween. Third of all, pumpkin. 

Yay for Fall! (also, CB Scent is getting home in October. Best timing ever.)

faith is ten million times better than fear. and ironically, ten times scarier.

"Do one thing every day that scares you."

"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"

"The real world doesn't start after graduation, or marriage. You've been living in the real world your whole life. So go live in it."

All of this and more has been turning and turning on the turntable of my brain lately. And at night, it gets even more constant, because I write in my journal and then all these other thoughts creep in. Thoughts that start with a little somethin-somethin we're all famliar with: what if? What if I took a risk today? What if I did something totally out of character, but totally awesome at the same time? What if?!! What amazing things would be set in motion if I dared to dive in, instead of just dipping in my toes?

Lately I've been upping my scripture study significantly. It's made a world of difference. I'd highly recommend it. Anyway, I was reading in Alma, when all those Lamanites start to be converted because of the sons of Mosiah (who, if you will recall, were "the vilest of sinners." The Atonement is realer than real.). As I was reading, I noticed a note in the margins that said this: "Fear distorts things, while faith makes things clear."

Did you get that? I read it three more times. Fear distorts the truth. It muddles the truth about who we really are, and what we can really do, and that is exactly why Satan loves to use it. He knows that as long as we don't understand who we really are, we don't rise up and be great (which we're all destined to be, by the way). God, on the other hand, uses faith. Faith gets things done. Faith moves us to do awesome things-- things that might scare us at first, but end up being the best things ever.

Often this involves taking risks. Going to BYU-Idaho was a risk. I'd never before in my life set foot in Rexburg. I had only decided to attend the school about three months before I went. But I did, and as you all know (those who have been reading this for awhile), it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

The same goes for Mexico. The entire time I was preparing to go to Mexico, it was kinda like an out of body experience. I kept saying to myself, "McKenzie, is that you?" I would have never done such a thing, moved to another country for three months, to teach? Me?! Ha! But I did, and it was an experience which one or two words could not sufficiently describe. God knew I could do it, and He was trying to coax the better me out of hiding. He was trying to get Kenzie 2.0 to act in faith, instead of the Kenzie 1.0 who doesn't take any risks.

So friends, what are you going to do today that your best self  would do? The upgraded, really sweet version with all of the apps you could possibly imagine. What are you going to do that scares the pants off of you but will end up affecting your life in indescribably awesome ways?

What are you waiting for?! Go do it!

p.s. i briefly reactivated my facespace because i just really wanted this post to be seen.

the most random thing you probably ever read

I shall leave you with this random but awesome picture of mexican children calling for help (write a caption in the comments if you wanna, just for my entertainment.)

one week ago I was in a daze, basically. i woke up in a hotel room after a crazy graduation night and my dad said to me, "this is the first day of the rest of your life."

welp,

the rest of my life so far has looked like dis:

I got a job (tender mercy, amen). I work from home stuffing envelopes and addressing them. I get paper cuts up the heezy. for real, right now I have one on my index finger that burns like Hades. i once heard a boy say that Hades isn't a place, it's a Disney character.

ha. what did he know? I'm pretty sure God invented Hades before Walt did.

Because of aforementioned job, I have to keep myself entertained or else I might just start shoving my face into solid objects, like walls and doors and stuff.

I listened to music at first but then my ears got tired, so I decided I would wear out my eyes instead.

So far I have watched both seasons of Downton Abbey (seeeriously, PBS?! what the junk happened? How are you so addicting?).

in case you need a reason to watch it.

And I re-watched the last few seasons of LOST. And fell in love with its awesomeness yet again. I bow to you, crazy creators of LOST. Even though you drove me nuts at the time, now I get it, and I think you are amazeballs.

charlie...oh charlie. I miss you so.

My mom did a photo shoot for a cookie cookbook, and brought home a jillion cookies, or in other words, she brought home a bag of my number one weakness. It's like...if I was an alcoholic, and my mom brought home a case of vodka.

But not just one kind of vodka...every single kind of vodka ever invented. Ya dig?

So what I'm saying is, she brought home every kind of cookie ever invented. Chocolate chip oatmeal, M&M, carrot cake, chocolate-dipped, chocolate-chip shortbread, coconut hershey kiss. FOR REALZ. But the best one...was chocolate-chip-pretzel.

Um, what? I would like to publicly praise whoever invented this glorious delectable.

How did we not know that crushing up pretzels and putting them in a chocolate chip cookie would be amaze.balls. I mean how. Also, there were pretzel M&Ms in it.

Dead.

I went to a bridal shower for one of my lovely ex-roommates (ok, that was the weirdest thing I've ever typed). And it turns out lots of my other ex-roommates were there! I love reunions so much. And awkward presents. Heh.

It rained and rained and I decided I really do love the rain. Almost as much as I love the sun. So I'll take both in heavy doses, half-and-half, thank you much.

We drove to Midway/Park City/Heber and I remembered I love the mountains and I want to live there. I also went to Whole Foods for the first time and observed that 99% of the people in there were wearing workout clothing. Ha. Take from that what you will.

Also, it made me feel poor to observe the chocolate section (one 5 oz piece was six buckaroos).

And also proud that I make my own bread and yogurt so I don't hafta pay them $7 for a loaf and $6 for a container. Stickin' it to the (super-healthy-and-smells-like-hemp-and-vitamins) man.

I thought about chopping my hair off again because this fishtail braiding nonsense is getting ridikkilus, dontcha think?I figured once school was out I would actually do my hair again.

Who am I kidding? I stuff envelopes all day.

I'll stick wit da braids.

No, I'm not at Coachella. I almost forgot about it, and then people started blogging about how they are there/how awesome it is/bon iver this/bon iver that. I want to kick something.

Word to people I have written letters to: it's okay with me if you write me back. In fact, I wholeheartedly encourage you to do it. I won't mind opening those envelopes, if you know what I'm saying.

Word to people who want a letter from me but haven't actually asked: ask.

don't forget, if you're getting sick of this blog I have another one, where I don't talk.

proof I'm heavily medicated

• I shaved my legs twice in the last three days (wow, really?)
• I made up a new slang term: "Holy Granola!" It just came out of my mouth like drool. What??
• I ate more produce today than most Americans farm animals eat in a week (think of that one time I hate a half a bag of carrots by myself, or half of a pineapple...that times five)
• I warned my future children against the dangers of drugs in a journal entry. I'm telling you--Benadryl/Aleve/Sudafed--whatever it is, my body can't take it
• I'm taking double-double naps
• I'm probably going to regret writing this in the morning
• I did nothing to my hair today besides 5 variations of the braid
• I'm listening to lots of Weezer. Hello 17-year old self, nice to see you again
• It was sleeting outside today, and I walked around in it, for a full 30 minutes. In my current state. I mean, somebody should just get a crane, pluck me up, and stick me in my bed. Clearly I cannot function solo
• I forgot what day it was...and what month...and maybe the year too. You mean it's not February 6th, 2011? Oh yeah, because if it was, I'd be in Mexico. Darn.
• I have this insane urge to jump on my bed, but it's 11 o' clock at night so I will refrain
• Also, it does not feel like it's 11 o'clock at night. More like 5pm. Stupid double-napping!
• When my doctor commented on the orangey-hue of my skin (seriously, it's not even that orange), I confessed to eating lots of pumpkin and carrots, jokingly offering up a solution. She said, in all seriousness, "Ahh. That's it. I've never seen this before." What the? Ok, I'm an oompa-loompa, now tell me if I have the flu! But, for reals. It's not that orange, aight?
• That last paragraph

confesh sesh

there is beauty in this confession session. am I right or am I right?

1) I said "confesh sesh." Meaning I spoke in abreev. Do you want to know the last time I spoke in abreev? Well, chances are it was probably when Chelsea B. was still around. She and I were flu in that lang.

2) Since I went grocery shopping on Tuesday, I have eaten one and a half of my avocadoes...and oh yeah, I bought five. Five avocadoes. FIVE. Ok...so we're good here, right?

3) This week has been yet another one of staying up wayyy past a reasonable hour. And by the way, I've always wondered what that phrase meant. How can an hour be reasonable? Does it think rationally and make decisive arguments? I've been in Rhetoric classes for wayyyyyyyyy too long.

4) Because of my insane load of homework, I have had to learn to let some assignments go....and that is something I have never done. It's pretty weird. You know what else I've had to let go of? My Friday nights. Goodbye, lazy weekend. Until we meet again!

5) Last night I had a dream that everybody (well not in the whole world...but a lot of us) was in this giant warehouse and there was a huge blizzard happening outside. Then, dad wanted me and Ike to go drive around in it. I woke up right before that really bad decision went down. Why do I always dream about apocalyptic things?

6) I have more freckles now than ever before. Or maybe I'm just noticing them because my skin...is finally clear! I have waited to say that since I was pubescent. Also, I've always wanted to use pubescent in a sentence. Two birds, one stone, people.

7) When it snows, I get really excited, because then I get to let the snow land on my hair. And puddle-jump. Because so far, the snow this winter has not consistently stayed snow. So much for Rexburg being a "dinosaur" in the wintertime.

8) I straightened my hair not once, not twice, but three times this week! This is cool because I haven't straightened it for awhile. I've been wearing...um...fish-tail pigtails to class. Whoa..two animals in one braid. I'm so weird!

9) When I can't fall asleep, I make up recipes. Sheep-counting does nothing for my taste buds, okay? Why count when I can create?!

10) Ever since Isaac uttered the words "taco bus" on Tuesday, I've been thinking about it. Ever. Since. I may or may not have a problem. And the problem is that the taco bus is not parked in my apartment's parking lot.

11) Today I got really excited for spring for the following reasons: short-sleeved shirts, running outside, leg-freckles, and all things lemon. Are you excited now? Oh yeah...and GRADUATION.

12) I've been listening to this dude a lot lately. Take my advice and do the same.

13) I think oranges are the yummiest fruit in the winter time. Cold, juicy oranges. Mmm. This confession session has been mostly about food. Which I think is a confession in and of itself.

a human jukebox

Somebody told me I needed to update my blog. I know all of you (how many of you are there, like five?) are wondering where the heck I've been. I'm not in the social networking part of the internet anymore, which really hasn't affected my life too much. Except for the people-getting-engaged part. They act offended when I don't know...oops. Guess I'm prehistoric now or something. Anywho, that's why you don't know about my life too much anymore. I don't blog, I don't facebook..but I still use pinterest and tumblr! Yay!

Wow, this post is incredibly boring. I always think of funny/clever stuff I could blog about during the day, but then 9 o'clock hits and so does the procrastination monster. He tells me that I need to stop reading 20-page articles and answering endless busy-work questions. So I agree with him and attempt to write a blog post. Which fails... And then I'm more tired than I was before. Oh, the life of a college student. Soon I'll be an ex-college student, and that will be a wonderful day.

In the meantime, here's what I've been eating/listening to/thinking about. Maybe I'll start blogging for real after April 6th...

• double chocolate cheesecake=the reason I left Dan a really awful message last night. Sorry, dan-o. I really am. We all know what sugar does to me.
• the hush sound. I knew I liked them before, but then they were given to me by a certain individual on a mixed CD and apparently now I cannot stop listening to them. music is so weird that way. p.s. music in portuguese makes me laugh a little bit, just because I can't for the life of me understand it, and then I try to, and it's just...bad. Me trying to understand it...not the music. Ok, goodbye longwinded and pointless postscript.
• camping, I just need to go as soon as the snow melts. my desire to be outside is reflected here big time.
• mexico, always.
• ernest hemingway, why must your paragraphs be so long?
• estimate of how many pages of reading i have done in the last month: upwards of 5,000. It ain't pretty. And none of that is recreational reading, btw.
• I have probably made at least six loaves of bread this month alone. And the hippie references (toward me) are through the roof lately. That's what I get for growing my own yogurt and stuff.
• 50,000 recipes (ish) dreamed up in the margins of my notes.
• 1 lesson done did and taught in relief society.
• I haven't slipped on the ice yet, but I almost went down today in a lovely flailing motion.
• Songs learned on the guitar: one (that's two halves of a song actually)
• Awkward hugs given/received: a jillion. okay three in particular come to mind.
• I dusted off my Moleskine full of poems and poetic thoughts again, cuz my right brain needs a place to get away, just like me. It doesn't do well in 3-hour long classes all about how Obama writes his arguments.
• more freckles than I've had in awhile. rexburg=mexico? not even close. but in this regard, it is. and I guess the taco bus is a derivative of Mexico. Let's call it Mexico Lite.
• sharing my music taste with everybody who wants to know. hence the human jukebox...heheheh. get it? drum roll anybody?? kaitlyn, that was a shout-out to you.

• coincidences/serendipitous encounters...you don't even want to know what kind of mind games fate is playing with me right now. And for the record I know that coincidences and fate do not exist...I just like pretending they do so I don't get too frustrated with where they really come from. :)
• matching socks, and the lack thereof in my sock drawer. It's getting (slightly) embarrassing to be wearing half purple/half green. But I can dig it.
• Justin Vernon and his crazy genius. He seriously is the craziest guy ever. But holy smokes, his music...his MUSIC. Ack! Not fair, I tell you.

The long and short of it: I'm still the same ol' awkward, reddish-brownish headed, freckle-faced, music-obsessed, overthinking, right-brained fool who is trying to get through the last eight weeks of school. That's right, EIGHT WEEKS.

Ahhh, deep breath.

this blog used to be funny.

(if you don't know who this is...yeah I just don't even know what to say to you.

here's a crash course: this and this)

funny...and updated.

But you know what, my classes have been off the heezy lately. And you don't even wanna know what that means.

While I figure out how to be funny/sane again, here is a brain barf..er...journal entry from just last night. I apologize in advance for talking about my legs again. I just can't seem to get off of that subject on this blog. Or in real life. Ha.

{Something smells like chicken noodle soup and it's making me hungry.}<--that's the title, btw

Also, I haven't shaved my legs in 2 weeks, what?! That's kind of sick. But on the other hand, it's flippin' FREEZING here and walking to the library feels like the climb to Everest with the wind chill and all. Ok, maybe not that dramatic. The point is, my legs are going to stay unshaven for at least a few more days. The End and Amen.

Can you tell that this is a brain barf? I figured the title would be a dead giveaway. Seriously, that soup or whatever is cooking (at 10 o'clock at night...hmm) smells GOOD. I'm going off-topic..which isn't breaking any rules because this is a brain barf, folks! I wore 4...no 5 different coats today. Not at all once, of course, because that would be RE-donkulus. And yet, maybe it would be genius. I wasn't a fan of the wind today--it ruined our "snowstorm" which was supposed to strike this morning. Boo. I choose snow over wind any day. Back to my coats. I'm going to rate their effectiveness in this crazycrazycrazy cold weather.

1-my Mexican "drug rug" (don't hate). A solid 7, and it could be higher but I didn't wear it outside and really test its abilities.

2-BYU sweatshirt, 5. It's losing it's fuzziness. Unlike my legs...haha! Ahem. Anyway.

3-brown old navy coat, 0. It's just for decoration after all.

4-grey AE hoodie. A 4, it's way too small, meaning I have grown since age 16! So I guess my doctor was wrong-o when he told me I was done growing in 6th grade. That's right, 6th grade! Do you know how tall I was in 6th grade? Probably not as tall as you were.

5-my winter coat, a 10 of course. Now I just need sufficient coverage for my leggies, cuz my leg hairs+jeans aren't that much protection.

Dude, I can't believe how much I got done today! When I woke up, I was dreading everything that I was going to have to attempt. But somehow, by focusing on one thing at a time, I did it. What the junk? Maybe it's because I deactivated my facespace until April...yeah, maybe. In between classes, I worked on a huge assignment for English 450 (it's kicking me in the pants, seeeriously) and exercised. And worked at the RC (it's a miracle I still work there...I seriously thought about quitting this week because I was so swamped). And made a legitimate dinner. And had scripture study. And looked at moccasins on the internet because I really want some. And listened to lots of indie music, which only made me want to go to Coachella more and see Justin Vernon in the flesh!!!! Sigh."

I'm telling you...on a crazy scale from 1-10, my journals are a 15.

And so is the whole no-snow-in-Rexburg but snow-in-the-Pacific-Northwest thing. These are the things that keep me up at night, friends. Moccasins, Justin Vernon, and the wind practically blowing this apartment to smithereens.

p.s. you need to watch this right now. right. now. ya hear?!!

wish list

I know, I know. School is in session and it's my last semester...and it has been a bit difficult. Hence the take-a-nap-every-day rule I have recently implemented. Sometimes rules are awesome, don't you think? Anywho. Here are some things I have been wishing for lately:

Coachella tickets (aka tickets to a modern-day Woodstock...minus the hippies. I think). Oh, what I wouldn't do to get my little hands on these. What. I Wouldn't. Do!

p.s. I don't understand the clothes-less blue guy in this picture. That's all.

this guy, from this show. what, you haven't watched it yet? for shame!

to think that people with faces like that actually exist!

this cabin in the woods, somewhere for me to get away.

hats, hats, more hats! my roommate Caitlyn said I remind her of this character, anybody recognize him? He was always changing into different hats. That's my life.

to sit on this pyramid again, without any Dramamine in my system. And a water bottle. My new motto: no taking naps at ancient historical sites!

1) for it to be summer and 2) to go tubing

this book would be incredibly useful.

homemade pizza, get in my mouth.

I'm sorry, but who wouldn't want to sleep in this? We're going to exclude any children under the age of eight from that question.

everyday when I get home from school/work, my toes are numb (c'mon, just a liiiitle snow?!). So I obviously wish I had a set-up like this in my apartment.

a road trip to someplace that blows my brains out, it's that cool.

a summery bike ride. my bike has been patiently waiting for a ride since October. sigh...

Enjoy your long weekend!