is this real life?

this should scare you.

Do you ever stop for a second and look at everything happening in your life? Do you ever want to say, "Did that just happen?" And I mean this in a good way of course. I've had a few of these "whoa" moments in the past few days. One was when the devotional speaker was talking about how his grandparents met because the slave ships sailed to America. Then he said (over the pulpit in the BYU-I Center, mind you), "Long live slavery!" I about died.

Then there was last Sunday. Oh the things I could tell! It was like I had a target on my back and God was shooting blessings at me right and left. I almost wanted to say, "Slow down, slow down, I can't carry them all!" Almost everything I read, everything someone said to me, was an answer to prayer. That's what happens when you spend a lot of your time talking to God. He talks right back.

Those of you who know me know that I like to re-read my journals. It helps me make sense of things...Well recently my journal entries from last year at this time have been creepishly similar to the things happening now. It's cuh-razy. I don't know if that's some kind of coincidence or foreshadowing or what, but yeah...journals are cool. End of discussion.

Things I love about life right now: wearing boots and scarves and hats every day, squash for deener, mixed CDs, pregnancy class, Postmodern Literature, none of my roommates playing Christmas music yet, pumpkin frozen yogurt, ward parties, seeing people I know on campus and saying "hi" to them very rambunctiously (I've been told it makes people feel good, so yeah...watch out), saying "rambunctiously" in a sentence, taking naps with the heater on, buying a puffy vest (yes, yes I did), new blonde streaks in my hair (it must be the glare from the snow...), Ye Olde Testament class, 10-page letters to Hermana Bedke, jumping on the furniture in our apartment like a child, triscuits+peanut butter+honey, text messages from TP on the day we've been waiting for for 2 years (like how I say "we," like we're a couple or something?), getting a friend a job (chyeah!), using way too many parenthetical statements.

DUDE. Ok sooooo yeah, life is awesome.

And then there's that Hunger Games trailer.

Sorry, had to.

back in blue (not black)

I think I'm finally back. It only took me two weeks...how long does it take for RMs to adjust to coming home? Do they ever adjust all the way? I've never been on a mission but I kinda felt like I had just gotten back from one for the past few weeks. Especially this first week in Rexburg.

I lost my appetite. Nothing sounded good. For 5 days I didn't eat hardly anything (a strange feat if you know me), except for the occasional pb & j. I would see people pull into the drive-in at Ramirez's and have the urge to stop them from ruining their taste buds.

I kept finding notes from Chelsea written to me last semester and I would get a little bit sad.

I went on a 4-mile run (it was also an "angry run" which I can explain later, but lemme tell you, they are pretty effective. ha.) against the 25-MPH winds native to Idaho. I came back to the apartment with a mane for a hairdo and a desire to let the wind blow me right back to Mexico.

I kept spurting out things in Spanish and nobody would understand. I was beginning to count down the days until Spanish Lit started and I could be stuck in a room with funny RMs again.

But then on Tuesday a few things happened:

1) I received 2 letters from Chelsea written to me now, in the present, and she is happy. So I can be happy, too.

2) School started. Turns out what I have been dreading since I landed back in this country is going to be a really good thing. My classes are incredible, as are my professors, and the homework isn't "punch a wall passive-aggressively" worthy.

3) We had our first devotional, and it was my first in the BYU-I Center since its dedication. I love that building--it still smells like new carpet, you know. Plus, I went there with my old friend Amy Mathews, who I learned is still funny as ever (fun fact you probably do not want to know: back in elementary school, when I would go over to Amy's house, I would sometimes bring extra chonies with me because she made me laugh that hard. I thought ahead).

4) I wore spandex for six hours straight. That always adds to the happiness of my day.

5) I ate a huge salad for dinner AND a mango, proof that not only was my appetite back, but I was craving healthy food... Oh and the mango, it was incredibly delicious. I was worried I would hate mangoes when I came back to America, but I don't. You can alert the presses now.

6) I decided not to study in the library so much this semester. Remember how I kinda lived there last year? Well it's too nice outside to be studying in a cubicle....er...it will be soon. In the meantime I'll just have to keep running in spandex and jackets and ignoring the snow.

would you guys like to see what else has been going on in the world of kenzie? thought so. {that wasn't a question}.

i took a 3-hour nap on tuesday. in the words of mr. "hide yo wife hide yo kids," that was so dumb, so dumb, so dumb.

i got an email from my dad which said the following:

"Rudy - we just put some $$ into your account. Now get a razor and shave your legs. Love, dad and mother"

My parents sure are funny. At least my legs will never be wanting in this chilly weather (now for all of you who haven't been reading this blog for very long, that was a joke. I really do shave my legs. And I can't believe I just said that on this blog.)

Rexburg experienced a thunderstorm and I inhaled that lovely rainy smell while I stood in the Spori Quad (yes...I stood outside). Why is it that whenever a huge rainstorm happens I'm the only one left standing in it?

I picked up that early-early morning scripture study again (in Mexico it wasn't as early). Gosh, I love it. And I love Mosiah.

My allergies decided to come back in full-force and now I kinda sound like a man when I don't guzzle enough water to clean my throat out. Doink.

Awkard moment #1 of the semester: I saw someone in the Smith Building (my second home besides the library...you thought I lived at the apartment? Ha!) who, from behind, looked exactly like a girl I know. Spitting back image I tell you! Now, I'm not an expert at identifying people from their back images (yes, I just made up that terminology), but she seriously fooled me. I kinda smacked her backpack like I normally do to get my friends' attention when they aren't facing me. Lucky for her I didn't kick her backpack, which is another attention-getting tactic I use. Well, she turned and I saw her face and all of a sudden I was walking the other way, uttering "sorry" and "fool" to myself. Oh, McKenzie.

The spring semester is now in session. And Kenzie is back to tell you all about it. Get ready...

p.s. it is Easter Weekend! I left you something better than a chocolate bunny:

the 2011 to-do list + an announcement or two

Lately I've had some writer's block when it comes to this blog. You probably don't want to hear the same ol' stories about Mexico. I mean, c'mon, it's just Mexico. Nothing too exciting here.

Ahem...that was a joke, by the way.

But then this morning, I had a stroke of brilliance! I remembered not too long ago, in the month of January (wow...that was kind of long ago, actually), telling my mother that I had made a really long "to-do list" for 2011. She demanded to see it. I told she could, but then the next day, I left on a jet plane. I never got around to showing her that list.

So why not show all of you? I asked myself.

And myself answered, I don't know.

Thus concludes the awkward conversation I had with...myself.

As for this announcement....I am now leaving Mexico on April 9th (a week early). I was originally leaving for my weeklong vacation on that date, but I feel like I need to be back in the states, specifically the Idaho one, earlier than 1/2 a day before my real life begins again. I'll see you all in...uh...just click here.

And now for the giant 2011 to-do list. Some of this stuff is kind of personal. But since I like you all (all of you who aren't lurkers, that is), I'm willing to share. Cause sharing is caring.

These aren’t in any particular order…

1. Go to Mexico and teach English and have adventures and meet new people and SPEAK SPANISH!!! Woooo! Ok, this is number 1 for a reason.

2. Read the Book of Mormon, D&C, New and Old Testament—that’s right, all of them!

3. Finish that dadgum booklist, yes I will.

4. Run the Ragnar with my family! I am so excited for this one, can you believe it?!

5. Start writing Jezka Black, Janna Mills, and CHELSEA ANN BEDKE! Sister Missionaries are people too!

6. Do Get Connected again

7. Go to the Salt Lake Temple and do baptisms

8. Hammock in my very own hammock

9. Visit Liz, even if I have to fly to California or Oregon or wherever!

10.Rafting trip, I WILL do this, no joke

11.I’m also going to climb R Mountain

12.Tackle Blitchford, Blainers, and Derek Hudson when they return. Or at least give them really big hugs. *for my readers, these are missionary buds who left 2 years ago*

13.Sew something

14.Learn “Moonlight Sonata”

15.Go rock climbing

16.Go to Moo-tana with Courtney Gopp!! Yes I surely will do it!

17.SNOWBOARDING PLEASE!

18.GO TO THE OREGON COAST. HECK YES.

19.Road trip somewhere, anywhere

20.Go on an epic, sweaty bike ride (ewwwww, awesome!)

21.Go to the taco bus with un hombre guapo

22.Lay out on the library grass at least 3x a week for some Vitamin D action

23.Be more friendly/interact with people at work

24.Have some kind of celebration at 11:11 on 11/11/11.

25.Run hardcore and get my weight to 130. I WILL DO THIS.

26.Get up early for scripture study

27.Give away a Book of Mormon/share my testimony with someone

28.Bear testimony in church more often

29.Write a letter/note every week

30.Go to Zupa’s, bring Zupa’s home, eat it on the floor while watching Bones, all preferably with Tessa Perry

31.Fork Fest with Allie and TP, only this time it’ll be on purpose

32.Morning/evening/all the time prayers

33.Take my drawing materials with me to Rexburg and do some sketches on my free time

34.Keep up with the journal

35.Go to a concert, preferably of a way cool indie singer nobody knows about (this will probably be at Sammy’s…haha)

36.SIT UP STRAIGHT. Mamacita, this is for you.

37.Become more patient with my siblings and others…and myself!

38.Go to Manti again

39.Road trip to Zion’s!!!! Woo!!

40.Learn how to play the gee-tar, even if it is just one chord progression

41.Participate in a sport at BYU-Iderho

42.Be an EFY counselor, if I get in

43.Chill in the Spori more often

44.Go to more cultural events/concerts/and such

45.Don’t spend too much time on the 2^nd floor of the library…psyche. Find new places to study on campus

46.Invite people over for deener

47.Watch the classics (start with the ones dad has told me to, then branch out…I’ve got a list, ya know)

48.Shop more at the D.I.There are too many good treasures there to pass up!

49.Start doin’ that food blog thang.

50.Learn to swim laps…maybe I’ll take a class during the summer?

51.Speaking of classes, I want to do at least spinning/yoga…maybe both!

52.Stop going to bed so flipping late! Try to get to bed before 12am most nights.

53.Visit with Bishop Crams!

54.Write poetry, at least 3x a week; read from my poetry book

55.Re-vamp my wardrobe.

something crazy with my hairstyle (I think this will get checked off constantly)

57.Eat something I’ve never eaten before

58.Try mate (that Argentenian drinky-drink)

59.Speak Spanish with RM's

60.Write more thank-you notes to my parents

61.Drink two Nalgenes a day

62.Buy at least 5 new CD’s (I can use these as rewards for working out or good grades or something)—I already have them planned in my brain: Mumford and Sons, Phoenix, Blind Pilot, Gregory Alan Isakov, Josh Ritter

63.Start Jillian again after I get back from Mexico

64.Go to temple at least 3x a month when I return

65.Have a spontaneous adventure one night or day…probably night

66.Run another race besides the Ragnar (10k, 5k, whatev)àget down to 9-minute mile, maybe 8:30????

67.Start training for Ogden Marathon in 2012

68.Call people more, like grandparents, friends, family, etc.

69.Shred some ivory in the Snow Building for fun

70.Memorize more scriptures

71.Read conference talks every Sunday

72.Go to Yellowstone with Tessa Perry

73.Go camping, maybe up Af Canyon! Speaking of AF Canyon, I wanna go up there and build a fire with friends.

74.Alpine Loop in the fall!! Yes please!

75.Budget my money better and save, save, save

76.Learn to love the classes that don’t have anything to do with my major/minor (a.k.a. foundations…)

77.Go to a sports game…probably basketball

78.Play soccer!! I just love playing this sport, honestly, but I kinda stink at it.

79.Go to conference in the conference center!

80.Make friends in the ward

81.Make a mixed CD for a member of the opposite sex and give it to whoever it is in my regular craszy fashion

82.Get rid of some of my junk that I just don’t need any more. I need to simplify, simplify, simplify.

83.Start saving my favorite quotes (not the funny ones, I’ve got plenty of those…haha)

84.Give presents to my family this year. I will make sure I can afford it this time! Give more thoughtful presents, too…

86.Buy a new pair of red flats

87.Wear pigtails more often

88.Stop spending so much moolah on food, esp. ice cream and fro-yo. Oh dear.

89.Small acts of service each day!

90.100% Visiting Teaching all year!!!!!

91.SMILE even if I don’t want to.

92.Learn how to make those awesome headbands TP wears for myself.

93.Take time out for myself

94.Avoid sitting in front of my computadora so much

95.Take lots of photos with my new camera

97.Acquire new T-shirts via racing

98.Index 1,000 names by September, you bet I will!

99.I know I just said I was gonna get rid of some of my clothes, but I also need to re-vamp my exercise wardrobe. I have no shorts

100.Do an alphabet scavenger hunt

101. Spend as much time outside as possible

sorry the numbers are messed up...i copied and pasted this from word. silly word!

About the random change of my blog (again): I like blogs a lot, so naturally, I blog stalk people...a lot. And I get jealous of other people's blogs and their coolness. So I'm always trying to re-do mine, make it more me, and not as much fluff. Always trying out different templates and fonts. Forgive me while I go through this annoying phase.

i just ate half a bag of carrots all by myself

Confession 1: I have red rock dust on my new chacos, which would normally bug me because I hate getting new shoes dirty, but these are chacos, they are meant to have cool things smeared on them, and my friends, red rock dust is a cool thing. Especially when it comes from Snow Canyon. This is Snow Canyon:

Confession 2: I get pleasure from giving people my parking spot.

Confession 3: It takes me at least 20 minutes to fall asleep because my brain thinks it is an Olympic sprinter and will. not. stop.

Confession 4: I think "Charlie St. Cloud" is kind of a weird movie, with a good soundtrack...but Zac Efron is the only reason I watch it. Just sayin'.

Confession 5: If you lived in Eugene, Oregon five years ago and your house got toilet papered every weekend, I'm sorry.

Confession 6: I wear sandals when there's snow on the ground.

Confession 7: I think soap operas and late-night infomercials are immensely entertaining. People at the fitness center think it's strange when I bust up laughing for no reason. Aren't they watching the TV's?

Confession 8: When it comes to produce, I go all out. Once I hate half of a pineapple in 10 minutes. And like the title of this blog reveals, I can polish off a bag of carrots in no time flat. It's kind of gross.

Confession 9: Even though I pretty much dislike all country music, I listen to Taylor Swift. And I like it.

Confession 10: I'm a hygiene freak. If you are a cute potential guy-friend, but you decide not to brush your teeth or comb your hair, sorry dude. Hasta lasagna.

Fact: 2011 is going to be really good. I'm not sure why I'm having this feeling, but I know it will be epic. Plus, I will have a hammock. I might have mentioned that a few times.

20 for 31

my personal fave

20 years old for 31 more days, to be exact. Actually, it's more like 30 days now, because day one is almost over and I have spent almost 75% of it in the library. So that doesn't really count as an actual day, right?

When I first walked into the library after Thanksgiving Break, it was like coming home. You'd think that when I first walked into my apartment, I would feel that way, but no. It was the library. Sad.

I've learned a lot this year and I wouldn't trade any of the trials I went through for anything else. God obviously knows what He's doing and He gives me these experiences for a reason. So I'm just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even though a lot of the time I don't know where it's going to land.

As for these next 30 days, I plan on making the most of them. After all, when the clock strikes 11:18am on January 1st, I will be a "legal adult." Whatever that means...

mcfrenzy's 30 day plan o'action:

go to taco bus uh-gain

make sure my students know they're awesome

get to the middle of the Book of Alma

write a poem and leave it somewhere in this blasted place

stop saying blast and wretch

make a snowman/snow angel

make pumpkin cookies un mas tiempo, to give away of course

update the quote wall before we have to take it down

make those tie-dye shirts we've had since forever ago...

write a note to at least 1 person every week

small acts of service

try to stop listening to this song

go to the Rexburg Temple at least 1 more time

talk to the Bishop 1 more time

bear my testimony (hold me to this)

say hi to a stranger

avoid falling on the ice/snow

wink at somebody. what? I just really gotta get it out of my system.

forget myself and GO (to mexico, that is)

una lista de felicidad

just imagine your monday is HERE

Ohhhhh, I am very happy today. Remember how Mondays used to be kind of looked down upon? I feel bad for them! I just had a random memory: when I was a kid, I used to sleep with lots of stuffed animals. Oh yeah, and my bed could fly. No joke. Usually we flew to Arabia or India....I was into the Middle East.

Anyway, if my stuffed animals ever fell off my bed during mid-flight (like, over the ocean, for example), I would quickly snatch them "out of thin air" and save them. I always felt so bad for the stuffed animals who were lying on my floor in the morning. Because technically, they were dead. I chose to ignore that fact.

Mondays are kind of like those stuffed animals that got kicked out of bed after I fell into deep R.E.M. And you know what? I think Mondays are pretty awesome and shouldn't be kicked out of bed so often.

So I shall now make a list of pure, unadulterated happiness for Monday, and figuratively "snatch it out of thin air." Dang. That. Was. Random.

1. Taking baby steps to class so I don't slip on the ice. Ice=bad, baby steps=good, walking on ice=worth the danger of walking on it. Me explica?
2. Making one-bowl brownies and giving them away. There will be a more embarrassing post on this later.....
3. Writing thank-you notes to my friends, just because. They can't even ask me why I did it.
4. Waking up laughing. Yeah, this actually happened to me today. I think I dreamt I was a stand-up comedian.
5. Oooooooooklahoma where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain! Um, so I watched that this weekend, and I realized that people don't flirt like they used to. Back in those days, girls just had to do ballet moves around a guy and they were as good as engaged. I've never been to country dancing up here...does anyone know if this tactic still works?
6. Learning about sangre (blood) in science class. Sangre just sounds better. But blood, oh man, it is SO COOL!
7. Homemade squash soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Alright, just lunch. But if I only had to eat one food for the rest of my life...it would be....chocolate. Almost had you, didn't I?
8. Music that nobody has ever heard of. It is just the best.
9. The smell of the Taylor Building. I like to go inside just so I can pretend I'm at Temple Square.
10. Writing my name on the window when our apartment steams up because there's a zillion people inside. Remember when your mom wouldn't let you draw on the car window after you breathed on it? Well, I finally got it out of my system.
11. DP's, a.k.a. dance parties. Chels and me initiate them spontaneously. Blame it on Michael Jackson's rhythm.
12. Reading in the Book of Alma---'tis my favorite book in El Libro de Mormon. I'm glad I don't have to choose, though. So very glad.
13. Did I just put Alma and Michael Jackson on the same happy list? Oh man.
14. Doing dishes...whaat? I can't believe I just confessed to that. But it's true. I don't mean loading dishes into the dishwasher, nah, I like to get the hot water and the suds going so there's bubbles floating all around the room, and then I crank the music up and scrub. I think I just made doing dishes sound like a New Year's Eve Party. Whatev.

don't you wish your weekend was awesome like mine?

(stolen from tessa)

there are lots of things in my life that i really love.

that's why i created the happy list monday thang.

and today, my happy list is all about what i done did,

this weekend, which was a 20 on a scale from 1-10.

yeah, that good.

1. getting engaged.
2. hahahahaha....you people are gullible (if you are experiencing a bout of monday slow-ness, #1 is a farce simply thrown in the list to wake you up. c'mon, it's only 5:30. you can make it to 8!!)
3. Ok, but seriously now. Autumn is my favorite time of year. How many times do I have to say it? The weather has been most excellent all during October, which has allowed me to really relish it. Relish. It is such a great word.
4. Road-trippin' it with the Bedke Sisters. We played POTI MASH (sounds appealing because it is), the gratitude game, the self-esteem game, hot seat, and visited their Uncle Grant (for all of you Livingston's reading this, think Grandma Great's house). I'm grateful for people who have basements full of tomatoes. They remind me that all is right with the world.
5. Q&A's. But not just any Q&A (like those conducted late at night after too much fro-yo)...no, this was with Elder Bednar. I loved the way he answered most of the questions with a principle or a scripture. One of my favorite one-liners was something along the lines of: "'Self-worth stems from the root word 'worthiness.'" In other words, those who are the most happy with themselves have a good relationship with their Father in Heaven and cultivate a life of righteousness. Love it!
6. Speaking of frozen yogurt....pumpkin spice frozen yogurt+wayyy too much graham cracker topping ("like a sandcastle in your throat," as a wise woman once said) is kind of delicious on an October night.
7. Accidentally coming upon "Fork Fest" (raise your virtual hand if you know what I'm talking about. Actually, don't, because that will make me feel better if you were as ignorant as I was). This happens to be a free band festival that apparently American Fork does. WITH JOSHUA JAMES. Apparently American Fork is "down" and "happenin'" and "the stuff," and I just don't know anything about being down or happenin' or being the stuff. But we went anyway. AND that leads to the next happy list thing...
8. The girl dancing in front of us at the concert. I bet she's all over YouTube by now. It was some mixture of yoga, hula, and...well I'm not sure what else.
9. Taking craaazy photographs with TP and Allie Love (click on the link at the top for some more) at the park using only a park bench and our imaginations. Sometimes...our imaginations get a little bit out of control. I place all responsibility in the hands of the dancing girl and the frozen yogurt.
10. Another beautiful Sunday in American Fork. I remember when we moved into our house 5 years ago this month, I was a bit skeptical about it (hello, I was 15 and knew everything). But it was autumn. And the reddish-goldish mountains were right there by my house. And the guys in the ward did help move our stuff in. Autumn+American Fork=a good first impression.

it is halfway through October. get out your kleenex.

love, the mckenzers

it's monday. you know what that means.

this is me. this is courtney (see item #4). circa november 2008.

1. getting in an epic car wreck (it was my FHE bro's fault...don't worry mom) and living through it. cuz now i get to sing "I'mma survivor! I'mma survivor!" with more empathy. I've always wanted to sing Beyonce with more empathy.
2. A certain movie known as "The Emperor's New Groove." It's, like, 10 years old. And, like, so am I, apparently.
3. speaking Spanish with an RM who went to Portugal and teaching him Spanish. In all my life, I never thought I would teach a return missionary a language. W to the hoa (and I now realize that when I separated that word it sounded wrong. oh well).
4. sittin on courtney gopp's bed with courtney gopp talking to courtney gopp about freshman year. in case you were wondering, it was a good year. er...three months. need proof? here's a little memory from my first week in rexburg.
5. this talk, probably the most amazing talk ever. until this weekend when i contradict that statement. um, yeah, just read it.
6. peanut butter toast. why do i talk about peanut butter so much? ok, let's nix this one. yeah, i even made a tag just for peanut butter, how pathetic am I?
   
7. having home teachers for the first time in 2 years.
8. taking off my socks before i go to bed. better yet, taking a shower before i go to bed. that way my pillow is wet from my recently shampoo'd hair, not sweat. sorry for the graphic details. it's strangely hot in rexburg right now. nothing to do with me, i swear. wink-wink.
   
9. not just winning, but dominating at the game "i have never," thus earning the title of "loser who has not done/experienced anything, but thanks for being my friend anyway." :)
10. FRIDAY=UTAH! (i know this has nothing to do with monday. but hey, you can't have fridays without mondays. now go find some lesson in that statement.)

love, mcfrenzizzle-brizzle-izzle...
(that trend of adding "izzle" onto the end of things,
it never worked for me. hmm.)