it's a brain barf

her face=how i feel about spray tans

"I thought it would be cool to have dinner in a prison...because love really does take no prisoners." (a la the bachelorette) I don't think you even know what you are saying. Like, why. I'm pretty sure that girl has never seen Prison Break, because if she had, she would've never thought dinner could be romantic in such a place.

I slept for 10 hours last night (ha!) and I'm feelin' a nap coming on right now. Something's wrong with my body clock. I'm giving you zz's so leave me alone!!!

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in this country and maybe in this hemisphere that has never listened to a One Direction song, and I never will. The end, amen.

I've been wanting to watch Clueless for six months now. I don't even know.

Everything I planned for in my future went to pot...everything. So, now I am looking for another job and/or a way out of the country in case that doesn't work out. China? Maybe so, maybe so. My life! *facepalm* times ten

I've been looking at guitar straps foreverz on Etsy and all of them are like sixty buckaroos. You do realize that it's basically a belt, right? Why are you charging so much moolah for a belt?! I can't even.

Also, I'm having trouble completing my sentences. Not sure if this is a symptom of graduating from college, but...there are half-sentences scattered all over this post.

Teaching yourself an instrument is so haaaaaaaaaaard. I spent 20 minutes trying to understand tabs. Which shouldn't take that long but I'm used to reading sheet music. Therefore, tabs are like learning another language to me.

I'm hungry. Brb, gonna go get a snack.

Guess which snack I got. Old popcorn. Do you know how tasty old popcorn is on a scale from one to pumpkin? Like a negative five. That's how hungry I am.

I found another blog dedicated to scruffiness and it basically ruined my life. I realized that the last 3.5 years of my life were severely scruff-deprived, which is okay because I understand the reasoning behind it. However, now I can be around scruff again, and that is a very good thing. If you are confused, here. Sha-bam.

Also, sometimes I eat old old maids. What is wrong with me?!

A bunch of people told me John Carter was good, including my movie-expert parents, whose opinion I trust, and then I saw it and was utterly con-fuzled. It's a good thing my friend Hayden was there to explain what was happening because you GUYS. It was the most facepalming movie ever of all time. Maybe it was just late at night and I was enhungered. Salty movie popcorn does nothing for my hungry tummy most of the time (aka basically always).

Also, the main girl in it was wearing probably a roll of toilet paper during the entire thing. Observe:

Nevermind, it was more like half of a roll of toilet paper. The point is, I could not take her seriously in that "outfit."

Me and Hill decided we would go up the canyon randomly after Institute, just because it's a canyon and it's closeby and why not. Well we couldn't find any decent trails, it was getting dark, we had no fire, no s'mores, and no boy scouts with us, so we went to Orange Leaf in the end. Ha! So much for spontaneity.

Today I realized there are only three days out of every week that I really like. Saturday=Costco samples. Sunday=duh, always awesome. Tuesday=soccer. And that is basically my life these days. Oh and looking at scruff blogs. What?

I'm gonna go find some employment now. Bye.

yes, that is a marf he is wearing.


"I'm gonna be the best dang woman I can be."
word to the bachelorette: marry him.

clueless

I could use a road trip right about now.

Everyone keeps asking me how it feels to be graduated. I honestly don't know...cool I guess. Now what? More school. But not before I get a real job. But not before I have a temporary job for five weeks. Not before I get a car, and move out, and become an adult.

Why must everything have to come before that? I wonder.
Confession time.

confession one: I have no clue what I'm doing right now. But everyone's favorite question to ask me is, "So now what?" I wish I had a clipboard that had "Ideas for what Kenzie should do next" written on the top. So when people asked me that question, I could hand them the clipboard.
confession two: Yes, I'm (maybe) going to grad school, but I feel wayyy underqualified. Grad school is for people who write master theses! What!
confession three: I deactivated my facebook again. Sometimes that thing just really irritates me. I don't want to bore you with why. Just know that I get tired of it, the same way I get tired of being in the mall, or stupid TV shows/TV in general, or music on the radio.
confession four: I have cried more in the past five months than I think I did all last year. Or maybe for the last 21 years. Ha! I'm telling you, my tear ducts are working up the heezy lately. It's okay. Crying is good.
confession five: I'm debating posting this because it's way too Negative Nancy and that's not what people wanna read, is it? You all want a happy list or something right?
confession six: Welp, this is a blog after all. And a human being writes it. Therefore, I am sorry if this comes off as cranky. I feel a bit lost, that's all.
confession seven: Last night I was sitting on my bed, with my journal in my lap, pondering. I'll have you know that this particular time of day is always ripe for revelation, at least for me. Anyway, I was thinking about all of these semi-depressing things and I started to write them out. But then something awesome happened--the Spirit gave me some solutions. They were no-brainers, too. The things you hear in church every week. But I happen to know that the Spirit doesn't mess around, so I'd better get to work.
confession eight: because of number seven, I've decided I need to spend less time on the computer. which means less bloggerizing (sorry all five of you who read this!), and obviously less facebook. you can always call me or (gasp!) write a letter. 'tis possible.
confession nine: my bike+my music=the only solution for my cabin fever right now.
confession ten: living at home when you are a college graduate is kind of hard. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I love not having to cook for myself every day in the midst of homework and I love our cozy house, but I do feel less...independent? It's hard to go from living on your own for 3.5 years to the basement again. But I'm working on it!

Any words of encouragement would be loverly. I hope you don't hate on this blog now because my confession session was mostly complaints. :/

okay, ew

I'm gonna use this blog for something I rarely use it for: venting. You may or may not enjoy it.

1) those commericals on TLC about weird addictions. seriously, gag me with a spoon. so sick. why are they on public tv? I'm still gagging.

2) soggy sweet potato fries. Red Robin, c'mon, if I'm gonna pay you 79 cents to be a little bit healthier, you better make those fries CRISPY. As in, I should hear a "crunch" when they enter my mouth.

3) two pairs of acid wash jeans spotted on campus this week....on both boys and girls. ack.

4) rags. I am a paper-towel kind of a girl. And the rags in our sink multiply like rabbits. I don't even bother using them...if I see one sitting there looking all moldy-like, I just carry it back to the washer asap. I guess I'm a rag supremacist.

5) when people eat foods together that should not be eaten together. I guess this is just the foodie in me or something, but f'real, you can't eat graham crackers and canned corn for lunch! what?!

6) please, for the love of all that is good and right in this world, stop wearing holey sweats to the grocery store. Holey in all the wrong places, too. I think that you're confusing the produce aisle with...your bed.

7) when your hair is so thick that you have to blow-dry it for so long that you start to break a sweat and then your hair sticks to your neck and your shirt sticks to your back and it's like, why did I even shower after that workout? There was no need.

8) that thing when people hock a loogie (thanks dad) in their mouth and then...and then...they...they swallow it. {kid history reference} And the worst thing is, we all know it, because we heard them hock the lugie, and then nothing happened afterwards!

9) sorry for that last one, it was pretty dang gross. but while we're on the subject, can all of the boys at this school please stop spitting everywhere? kthanksbye. (I realize that this pretty much contradicts the last thing I said, but hey, there are bathroom sinks and kleenex and other things. am I right?)

10) THIS

a not-so-happy list

So I was going to put a happy list on here, like I usually do on Mondays, but I got home and I just feel like sleeping. That's all I feel like doing these days. And yet, a Spanish test looms on the horizon. As well as some more homework. More and more. It never ends. Then there's registration, which I can't even do yet because my Fast Grad hasn't been approved. It's ok if you don't understand any of this...I don't either.

here's what's been circulating in my brain lately:

• boy who is dumb and uses girl for selfish reasons. and then never talks to her again.
• boy who doesn't ever talk to the girl unless more people are around.
• boy who makes the girl feel awkward even when she says hello. this isn't really the boy's fault....but still. STILL. you bring out the awkwardness in me. is this normal?
• boy who makes the girl think he likes her until she sees him with another girl. say wha?? did you just punk me or something?
• boy who obviously likes a girl and then takes a million jillion years to ask her out, in the meantime she's over-analyzing everything he does/doesn't do and tries to avoid him in order to avoid more things to analyze, but it does not work.
• as you can see, boys are on the brain. what can I say? I've been at BYU-Idaho for too long. oh, and everybody, I mean every.body. is getting engaged. At the same time. Does anyone have a cure for this "all of my friends are getting married" phenomenon? Should I just go for a long run....all the way out of Rexburg? haha

Clearly, I need advice. Or a new stuffed animal.

I think I might be a hipster in disguise

For those of you unfamiliar with the hipster movement, let me enlighten you.

So-called "hipsters" like to wear cardigans, "ugly sweaters," big baggy sweatshirts, etc. But they can't be too baggy. We've gotta stay semi-classy, ok?

Then there's the tea. Apparently hipsters drink a lot of it, preferably in vintage teacups. Whatever that means. Which brings me to my next point--the vintage-ness. This is also known as thrifting, but some hipsters don't want you to know they shop at the thrift store. So when you ask, "Hey, I love that dress!" they can say "Thanks, it's vintage." Now you all know that's code for D.I.

Hipsters love to rock the Harold B. Lee's. Or what others would commonly call the nerd glasses. I have this theory, and it's probably completely wrong,but that's why I'm calling it a theory and not a fact. Ever since the 3-D movies started being the norm, those nerd glasses have become the cool thing to wear. 3-D movies=leftover 3-D glasses-their lens=hipster. Wa-la!

As far as footwear goes, they like to keep it real in Vans slip-ons or any kind of slip on tennis shoe (think Keds). Even better if you can wear these shoes with skinny jeans. Even if you're a boy--if you're a hipster, skinny jeans are ok. Also, if you are hipster, slouchy beanies are a must.

Oh, and it doesn't hurt if you have a mustache. Girls, a fake one will do. In fact, fake ones are becoming even more popular.

In their free time, hipsters like to be out in the wild. Sounds kind of transcendentalist, huh? Well, it's true. They like to gallivant in the woods, climb trees, ford streams, and if they are true hipsters, they read poetry while they do it. Then they take polaroid pictures of themselves doing these activities and they end up on weheart.com with their own category (you guessed it..."hipster").

The most important facet of being a hipster is the music. The music is probably what makes hipsters hipsters. They listen to folk and/or alternative rock. What the junk is folk, you ask? Stuff like Bon Iver, Mumford and Sons, Death Cab for Cutie, Fleet Foxes, Elliot Smith, Damien Rice, Iron & Wine, Jose Gonzalez...getting a feel for it yet? And the alternative rock, well that's Explosions in the Sky, The Naked and the Famous, Phoenix, Rogue Wave, Arcade Fire, The Decemberists, etc etc etc.

Here is my dilemma. That, right there, is the kind of music I listen to. At first when I started seeing these tunes put in a category called "hipster music," I was kind of offended. Until I realized...I might be a hipster. But it was a complete accident, I swear. See for yourself:

Today I wore skinny corduroy jeans. I don't wear skinny anything...but today, I did.

My roommate regularly makes fruit tea and when she offers...obviously, I accept. Because it's tasty.

I like to go to the D.I. all the time. A good Saturday would consist of me cooking, riding my bike, and going to the D.I. Which is probably what I'll do tomorrow. Ack.

I own a pair of grey Vans Slip-ons. They're comfy, ok? I also own a pair of square-lens glasses, a pair of nerd glasses, a pair of fake glasses with the lenses still in them (so they aren't completely hipster, but still...), and a slouchy yellow hat which I wear often. Oops.

I like to be outside whenever possible. I went on a bike ride at least three times this week when I couldn't take the library anymore.

And do I have a little writer's notebook to write down poem/story ideas? Maybe... Okay, I do!

The lesson for today is, it's okay to be a hipster...as long as you are still being yourself. The end.

For more about hipsters, read this! No really...it's kind of funny. And I didn't even read it before I wrote this...that just goes to show you how much I already know about hipsters. Ahh I really am becoming one of them!

why I don't read the news anymore

speechless is what I am.

usually we "save the date" for weddings. but...okay...I can work with this.

dude...we can predict earthquakes now. sha-bam.

So I decided to get on CNN and read about the goings-on of the world. I was totally out of the loop while I was in Mexico (not exactly a bad thing considering all of the ho-hum-drum-bums in this world). And then a week after I returned, I was back in school. No time to look at CNN unless I really needed to laugh (it's all about the comments section, I tell you).

Well, I'm here to tell you there's no point. There's nothing worth reading about in the news these days. One article talked about how catching bin Laden was humiliating to Pakistan. I've taken a class on Pakistan so I was interested in it. It was alright, I guess. But the worst part was the comments....oh man...made me ashamed to be American, the things some people were saying. There are lots of close-minded people in this world. I may not know about every culture and understand every religion, but being in Mexico taught me that we don't need to be afraid of people who are different. That's not the way God intended things to be.

Then there's this Schwarzenneger bidnez. How do you even spell that guy's name? Anyway. I am really getting bored of all the politicans/athletes/so-called idols being thrown into the spotlight because they were unfaithful to their wives, or had a psycho breakdown because they just couldn't control their anger, or were caught using drugs. Sigh. I don't want my future children to have these people to look up to. Certain sports aren't the same anymore because they've been so tainted by cheating athletes. I hardly know when any politicians are telling the truth. And when it comes to movie/TV actors (a certain actor whose name rhymes with "mean," "bean" and "clean" comes to mind).....fuhgetaboutit.

From now on, I will stick to the regular ol' Wall Street Journal for news. It may not all be pleasant stuff to read, but at least some of it is interesting. Then of course there's lds.org. I would.

p.s. If you have been keeping up on the news like I have {not}...then you know something BIG is happening on Saturday. I hope you all have your 72-hour kits ready.

p.p.s. I really want to be there when the person who came up with this idea goes to bed that night without judgment day having happened. "Gee, I wonder what's taking Him so long..." BAHA. Dude, just read Matthew 25:13. That's all I gotta say.

/end rant.

blurgh

sometimes, i get a little bit homesick.

i'm allowed to be homesick for little things. right?

my bathroom, for instance. last night, i had an incredible dream. in the dream, our family went to some cabin for a family reunion. there was a shower there. but folks, this wasn't just any shower.

it was like a giant room with nice tiles, and about a jillion shower heads. there was also a place to plug in your iPod so you could listen to music while you showered. and the speakers were legit. don't forget the shelf with sugar scrub, body wash, and salon shampoo. it was the best dream i've ever had. i wish i could go back to sleep now just to shower in that shower.

other random rants:

-chelsea sent me a package with a bottle in it. it was awesome and made me wanna cry and laugh at the same time. i just laughed. but i miss her really bad, and she's leaving me in no less than 11 days.

-my sheets will not stay on my bed no matter how hard i try. i feel like a slob with no sheets on my bed. major. slob.

-i have a pile of laundry the size of everest, and yet i cannot bring myself to take my chonies to the corner lavanderia. i also can't use the washing machine cuz it's full of bleach. maybe my students won't notice...as long as they don't get too close.

-i miss walking around barefoot. isn't that a weird thing to miss? yeah. but goodness gracious, i miss it so.

-iamtiredofcorntortillasokthanksbye.

-people keep using 'jimmer' as a verb. i'm not sure how this trend started exactly. i wonder what verb we could replace with my name! reading? eating chocolate? running in the rain? "I like reading, long walks on the beach, and McKenzie'ing." Mmm, on second thought, maybe not such a good idea.

now, more of the positives.

-i'm in 2nd nephi now and it is so so good. it's amazing how you can read a book over and over and learn new things every time.

-my hair is growing pretty long again. not sure if this is good or bad, because sometimes it makes me look like i just rolled out of bed...at 7 o'clock at night.

-i get to register for classes on wednesday!! woo! i am one of those people that actually loves school (when i told my students that their jaws literally dropped), so i planned my schedule a month ago. you wanna know what it is? i betcha don't. but i'mma tell you anyway. creative writing part deux (stoked=me), young adult literature (stoked to the 10th power=me), british lit (victorian and modern), spanish literature part deux (a leetle scared as usual=me), family foundations with "ol' phil" (that's grandma bonnie code for mom's old high school beau), and last but not least, private piano lessons!! wahoo!

-dinner is in an hour and a half. my tummy couldn't be happier.