neglected

It's about to snow and I'm not sure how I feel about it, mostly because I don't feel as if I have sufficiently relished October. On the other hand, I remember the exact day it began to snow last year in Rexburg...October 9th. I had a soccer game. Key word is had. So we're slightly ahead of the curve this time.

I found this post from the olden days and laughed until I cried. Ellie you perfect Asian 7-year-old you.

I discovered Beach House. What in the what, why has nobody forced me to listen to them before now?

This postcard was basically written by me.

Work has been pretty lame this week, I don't know why. Gloomy weather just makes me want to stay in bed and read all day. I still have four unfinished books by my bed. That's what renewing your library books ten times is for, am I right?

I contemplated abandoning this blog because um, that's what I've been doing anyway, but if I officially abandoned it then I wouldn't feel obligated to post for the zero people that read this. Negative Nancy, go to sleep.

Oh btw I also started using Spotify (I know, so 2010). What can I say, I liked it when Pandora just made me a playlist and surprised me with good music. But now I can rotate some good tune-age whenever I want. Right now it's Desert Noises every live long day.

The election is in one week, gah. Remember when this happened? I'm glad it will be over because #1, election night gives me anxiety to the nth degree and #2, people will hopefully stop posting all of the political craziness on facespace. f'reallllllls, I don't know how much more mud slinging I can take. Brown is not my color when it's...dirt. Kbye.

FYI I also saw the new Bourne movie and I have decided that a bearded Jeremy Renner is an attractive Jeremy Renner indeed. Go see it please or I'll...have to think of a good threat later because srsly, I just took two advil and we all know what medicine does to me.

p.s. I'm only slightly embarrassed that half of my photobucket library is scruff.
up next: some more riveting blog posts, I swear. I don't have instagram but I will get you to comment!
p.p.s Star Wars 7 is happening. I don't know what to say except what in the junk. Do you remember the last 3 they made? DO YOU?!

the joys of (not) having a gall bladder

a picture of me back when i had a gall bladder (i.e. every day of my life up until july 23rd)

caleb's head is resting right about where my gall bladder used to be. awww. 

I'm still in a drug-induced haze, so we'll see how this blog even turns out. Here's the diet coke version (heh, I picked that up from my Spanish professor. But not anything Spanish-related...)

Starting last Monday, the 16th, I was going about my regular bidnez (work, exercise, eat, sleep, read, shower, blah blah). I had just eaten a loverly dinner of chicken and rice with broccoli. Normally I don't go into that much detail but it's important that you know what my last meal was before all this nonsense went down. Right in the middle of FHE, I felt a strange pain in my side, like I was being stabbed. Ugh! I've had weird stomach problems for who knows how long, but had never felt anything like this. I've been off of gluten, dairy, sugar, you know, the works. Nothing helped. My body refused to cooperate. I became a food snob, went on stupid diets, worked out like a crazy person. And yet, not too much changed.

So back to this epic stomachache. I took some medication and tried to lay down so the pain would leave, because I figured it was just a dumb stomachache. But it got worse, and then I couldn't breathe. What the junk?! This was not a regular stomachache. I asked my dad for a blessing, after which I promptly threw up three times. Awesome. I figured that would be all. Just to be safe, I called in sick the next day. For the next few days I didn't eat much besides saltines, applesauce, apple juice. Just fyi, saltines aren't food. They are simply the color beige plus a little salt on top. Not. Food. So of course I was starving, but everything else made my stomach hurt like hades.

On Friday morning, I was at work for one hour and started to feel pukey again. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that toast!" Word to my homefries: if a piece of toast is upsetting your stomach, you've got problems.  I couldn't sit without being in excruciating pain. Guess what, I sit all day long at work. So I decided to go home yet again and see if I could sleep it off. The pain steadily got worse. We went to urgent care, and the doctor there said I wasn't showing any "classic symptoms" for any one thing. Earlier in the week I had googled my symptoms and had a hunch it was something to do with my gall bladder. He told me it might be that but my blood test wouldn't come back 'til Monday. I took some more medicine and went to sleep. Then when I woke up I did a really dumb thing and ate some food, which induced yet another painful episode.

Cue some more throwing up, more pain, and prayers that it would just be over. When the doctor asks you what your pain is on a scale from 1-10, and you say "ten," that's a sign...to go to the hospital. I didn't know this. I thought I could endure it, but Saturday was the straw that broke this redheaded camel's back (whoa, weird image, am I right?). When I got to the E.R., I was in a weird state. I was in so much pain that it was almost like an out of body experience...I can't really explain it, but I knew I was in trouble. They asked me my pain level, and I think I mumbled "eight," but I didn't want them panicking on me. Hello, McFrenzy, this is the E.R. People get paid to go into panic mode here. Again, the pain was distorting everything.

I remember them putting me on a hospital bed and sticking me with an I.V. Usually I don't like getting poked with needles but by this point it felt like I was getting hugged by a Care Bear compared to the pain in my stomach. Then the most glorious thing ever happened! They gave me pain medication (apparently ten times stronger than morphine, boo-ya). I don't condone drugs, people, but after the pain I'd experienced, it was celestial. Ok, maybe I shouldn't compare pain medication to the celestial kingdom...but GUYS. I will always remember that moment when the pain went away. I know I did embarrassing things and I know I was reduced to a cavewoman (in terms of my speech), but I couldn't feel the pain anymore! YESSS!

For the next few days, I sat in my hospital bed and waited patiently for the doctor to say they would take out my gall bladder, which they did! On Monday morning they told me I was going in for surgery. The last thing I remember was them saying, "Okay, we're going to give you some Valium first..." which made me dizzy, but not totally asleep, and then they said, "We're putting this oxygen mask on your face, okay?" BAM. Lights out.

Other things to note: hospital gowns are never, ever flattering on anybody; chicken broth can be the best meal in the world when you haven't eaten for three days; popsicles are great for sore throats; the cooking channel and the food network are sadistic things to watch when you can't eat anything; you shouldn't invite your friends to come visit you because they'll laugh at everything you do (drugs=bad); if you start to feel any pain the nurse will inject you with that 10x stronger than morphine stuff (drugs=good); scars can be cool; people are actually very good; Priesthood blessings are the bee's knees; God really does answer your prayers but it's His timing that counts; showering with an I.V. is awkward; drugs make your dreams even more psycho; remote-controlled beds are overrated; fireworks are only fun if you can see them, otherwise they are really scary; getting an ultrasound when you're heavily medicated is like being in the Willy Wonka movie from the 60's.

Thus concludes the life of my crazy gall bladder. May you rest in peace.

this is a preview because my stomach hurts

I was going to write a legitimate post today, guys. Honest. It was going to be the ultimate catch-up post, since, ya know, haven't really been writing on this thing for awhile (*cough* understatement). ANYway. Since I just puked two times (no, seriously) and I wanted you guys to know I had a legit excuse for not writing today, that's why this post exists.

Completely random and pointless. Here's what you can expect next time (no puke, I promise):

1. a bachelorette recap because why not

2. okay, so maybe I'll follow that last one up with puking

3. some music I've been jamming to lately

4. my life in general (minus the puking)

5. freckles and sun burns

6. men with facial hair, because again, WHY NOT

7. this bike I really want and can now pine for within reason

8. in one week I'll have a car. car= ..... (this is the preview part, meaning you'll hafta come back next time to find out what the ominous dots mean)

9. the rest o' my summer plans

10. fall and why I'm excited for fall and why everyone should always be excited for fall (duh, because it's fall)

since I feel weird just writing text....here's a video. which I also posted on facespace. now if you'll excuse me, I feel pukish. sorry. 

basically, I'm going crazy and other stuff

Sometimes the only cure for this insanity is to take my bike to far-off places (aka Cedar Hills) with my music turned all the way up. Usually it's Bon Iver (aka sad music). My life.

Other cures for life not going the way you want it to:

• Go to the temple. Even if you can only do baptisms, like myself, which in the Timpanogos Temple takes exactly 20 minutes, stay in the temple for as long as possible. Bring a talk with you and read it. Preferably this one, or this one or this one. 
• Pray really hard, and pray a lot. Don't just talk at Heavenly Father. Leave some kneel prints in your carpet! If you know what I'm saying. 
• Throw grammar out the window when writing blog posts such as these. JK. Honestly I'm just trying to excuse my terrible grammar right now. Thanks for understanding.
• Go running. I understand some of you are runnin-haterz, which is okay (oh my gash I just said "haterz." Why.)....but that's probably because you have only given running a shot like a couple of times. Meaning your body hated you while you were doing it, am I right? Therefore, you should keep doing it until your body adjusts, and then trust me, your body will love you. You will feel as "high as kite" (my mom would say that).
• Let your sister try to tickle you even though you aren't ticklish anymore (?!). But whatever you do, do not let her check your ears for wax, even though that's her favorite pastime nowadays, because dude. It hurts when little kid fingers start digging in there. Ow.
• Try not to think too hard about every little thing that isn't happening the way you want. Honestly, you can't control most of it, so why bother. Just let God do that part. Do what you know you're supposed to and bam, it will seriously be okay. 
• Learn something new. Like how to play an F chord on the guitar (fklafjdsajfd;akfd;asf;akjfdsa;)
• Go to used bookstores and smell all the old books you pick up, so they will knock off 50 cents at the register because "you're a regular" (wink wink). I knew sniffing books would get me far in life someday.
• Eat some dark chocolate...in copious amounts if possible. I just said copious...fyi. 

it's a brain barf

her face=how i feel about spray tans

"I thought it would be cool to have dinner in a prison...because love really does take no prisoners." (a la the bachelorette) I don't think you even know what you are saying. Like, why. I'm pretty sure that girl has never seen Prison Break, because if she had, she would've never thought dinner could be romantic in such a place.

I slept for 10 hours last night (ha!) and I'm feelin' a nap coming on right now. Something's wrong with my body clock. I'm giving you zz's so leave me alone!!!

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in this country and maybe in this hemisphere that has never listened to a One Direction song, and I never will. The end, amen.

I've been wanting to watch Clueless for six months now. I don't even know.

Everything I planned for in my future went to pot...everything. So, now I am looking for another job and/or a way out of the country in case that doesn't work out. China? Maybe so, maybe so. My life! *facepalm* times ten

I've been looking at guitar straps foreverz on Etsy and all of them are like sixty buckaroos. You do realize that it's basically a belt, right? Why are you charging so much moolah for a belt?! I can't even.

Also, I'm having trouble completing my sentences. Not sure if this is a symptom of graduating from college, but...there are half-sentences scattered all over this post.

Teaching yourself an instrument is so haaaaaaaaaaard. I spent 20 minutes trying to understand tabs. Which shouldn't take that long but I'm used to reading sheet music. Therefore, tabs are like learning another language to me.

I'm hungry. Brb, gonna go get a snack.

Guess which snack I got. Old popcorn. Do you know how tasty old popcorn is on a scale from one to pumpkin? Like a negative five. That's how hungry I am.

I found another blog dedicated to scruffiness and it basically ruined my life. I realized that the last 3.5 years of my life were severely scruff-deprived, which is okay because I understand the reasoning behind it. However, now I can be around scruff again, and that is a very good thing. If you are confused, here. Sha-bam.

Also, sometimes I eat old old maids. What is wrong with me?!

A bunch of people told me John Carter was good, including my movie-expert parents, whose opinion I trust, and then I saw it and was utterly con-fuzled. It's a good thing my friend Hayden was there to explain what was happening because you GUYS. It was the most facepalming movie ever of all time. Maybe it was just late at night and I was enhungered. Salty movie popcorn does nothing for my hungry tummy most of the time (aka basically always).

Also, the main girl in it was wearing probably a roll of toilet paper during the entire thing. Observe:

Nevermind, it was more like half of a roll of toilet paper. The point is, I could not take her seriously in that "outfit."

Me and Hill decided we would go up the canyon randomly after Institute, just because it's a canyon and it's closeby and why not. Well we couldn't find any decent trails, it was getting dark, we had no fire, no s'mores, and no boy scouts with us, so we went to Orange Leaf in the end. Ha! So much for spontaneity.

Today I realized there are only three days out of every week that I really like. Saturday=Costco samples. Sunday=duh, always awesome. Tuesday=soccer. And that is basically my life these days. Oh and looking at scruff blogs. What?

I'm gonna go find some employment now. Bye.

yes, that is a marf he is wearing.


"I'm gonna be the best dang woman I can be."
word to the bachelorette: marry him.

le brain barf

does anyone else feel weird about the new Anne Hathaway?

I just watched the trailer for Les Miserables, p.s. didn't even know that movie existed until now. Also, not sure how I feel about Anne Hathaway singing. I just...yeah. And she's Catwoman? I'm confused on a number of levels.

I need a real job after EFY. I've decided Costco will suffice. Somebody hook me up with them asap. For reals. Can you imagine living in sample heaven 40 hours a week? Ha...okay. But seriously. I need a real job.

Another thing I need: a place to live in Provorem. Everyone has a different opinion about where to live there. Ack! It's too much information. Also, there are way too many places to live. How am I supposed to narrow it down? Gee willicker's. Did you know that is also the name of a restaurant in Eugene, Oregon? But I think they turned it into a pub or something....

Trying to find yellow, semi-cheap, cute, oh and did I mention yellow shoes, is really difficult. All in the name of love.

It's sad that I spent a lot of my day doing that aforementioned activity. But I also read The Kite Runner, which I haven't done in years. Ah! All the emotions! I just cannot...I literally cannot.

I finally got reunited with my bff Lizzy. In Disneyland. What? Yeah, best reunion ever. The only problem was it was a little too short for my liking.

I have learned the return date for Hermana Chelsea Ann Bedke. It is October 9th. You can bet I will be at the SLC airport on that day with a huge embarrassing sign and a Snickers bar. Ready to make a scene.

I'm homesick for Rexburg. It has finally hit me. Oh dear.

I think Instagram is taking over the internet. I don't know how I feel about it...I mean, it's cool and everything. But I think maybe we rely on technology too much to make connections. I like the good old-fashioned, face-to-face stuff. Getting off my soapbox now.

The worst part of a sunburn is the peeling phase. Although I can't really complain about this burn. Because a year ago, I was recovering from the worst sunburn of all time. The tanlines from that particular burn didn't fade for six months. Six months. Sunblock: not just for decoration.

That didn't make sense. I just wanted to use that line from The Santa Claus. I don't know either.

Okay so, let's recap: Anne Hathaway is singing now and I think this is kind of weird, I need a real job, preferably at Costco, I need a place to live, I need yellow shoes and it's taking over my life and it shouldn't be taking over my life even though my life is pretty unexciting right now, except for last week when we went to Disneyland and I saw Lizzy again and her hubs Mark, I'm tackling Chelsea with love when she gets off the plane in October, I kind of miss Rexburg, I don't have a smartphone so maybe that's why I think Instagram is overrated sometimes, I'm peeling like a snake, and I have random lines from The Santa Clause stuck in my head.

Sounds like a brain barf to me.

clueless

I could use a road trip right about now.

Everyone keeps asking me how it feels to be graduated. I honestly don't know...cool I guess. Now what? More school. But not before I get a real job. But not before I have a temporary job for five weeks. Not before I get a car, and move out, and become an adult.

Why must everything have to come before that? I wonder.
Confession time.

confession one: I have no clue what I'm doing right now. But everyone's favorite question to ask me is, "So now what?" I wish I had a clipboard that had "Ideas for what Kenzie should do next" written on the top. So when people asked me that question, I could hand them the clipboard.
confession two: Yes, I'm (maybe) going to grad school, but I feel wayyy underqualified. Grad school is for people who write master theses! What!
confession three: I deactivated my facebook again. Sometimes that thing just really irritates me. I don't want to bore you with why. Just know that I get tired of it, the same way I get tired of being in the mall, or stupid TV shows/TV in general, or music on the radio.
confession four: I have cried more in the past five months than I think I did all last year. Or maybe for the last 21 years. Ha! I'm telling you, my tear ducts are working up the heezy lately. It's okay. Crying is good.
confession five: I'm debating posting this because it's way too Negative Nancy and that's not what people wanna read, is it? You all want a happy list or something right?
confession six: Welp, this is a blog after all. And a human being writes it. Therefore, I am sorry if this comes off as cranky. I feel a bit lost, that's all.
confession seven: Last night I was sitting on my bed, with my journal in my lap, pondering. I'll have you know that this particular time of day is always ripe for revelation, at least for me. Anyway, I was thinking about all of these semi-depressing things and I started to write them out. But then something awesome happened--the Spirit gave me some solutions. They were no-brainers, too. The things you hear in church every week. But I happen to know that the Spirit doesn't mess around, so I'd better get to work.
confession eight: because of number seven, I've decided I need to spend less time on the computer. which means less bloggerizing (sorry all five of you who read this!), and obviously less facebook. you can always call me or (gasp!) write a letter. 'tis possible.
confession nine: my bike+my music=the only solution for my cabin fever right now.
confession ten: living at home when you are a college graduate is kind of hard. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I love not having to cook for myself every day in the midst of homework and I love our cozy house, but I do feel less...independent? It's hard to go from living on your own for 3.5 years to the basement again. But I'm working on it!

Any words of encouragement would be loverly. I hope you don't hate on this blog now because my confession session was mostly complaints. :/

the most random thing you probably ever read

I shall leave you with this random but awesome picture of mexican children calling for help (write a caption in the comments if you wanna, just for my entertainment.)

one week ago I was in a daze, basically. i woke up in a hotel room after a crazy graduation night and my dad said to me, "this is the first day of the rest of your life."

welp,

the rest of my life so far has looked like dis:

I got a job (tender mercy, amen). I work from home stuffing envelopes and addressing them. I get paper cuts up the heezy. for real, right now I have one on my index finger that burns like Hades. i once heard a boy say that Hades isn't a place, it's a Disney character.

ha. what did he know? I'm pretty sure God invented Hades before Walt did.

Because of aforementioned job, I have to keep myself entertained or else I might just start shoving my face into solid objects, like walls and doors and stuff.

I listened to music at first but then my ears got tired, so I decided I would wear out my eyes instead.

So far I have watched both seasons of Downton Abbey (seeeriously, PBS?! what the junk happened? How are you so addicting?).

in case you need a reason to watch it.

And I re-watched the last few seasons of LOST. And fell in love with its awesomeness yet again. I bow to you, crazy creators of LOST. Even though you drove me nuts at the time, now I get it, and I think you are amazeballs.

charlie...oh charlie. I miss you so.

My mom did a photo shoot for a cookie cookbook, and brought home a jillion cookies, or in other words, she brought home a bag of my number one weakness. It's like...if I was an alcoholic, and my mom brought home a case of vodka.

But not just one kind of vodka...every single kind of vodka ever invented. Ya dig?

So what I'm saying is, she brought home every kind of cookie ever invented. Chocolate chip oatmeal, M&M, carrot cake, chocolate-dipped, chocolate-chip shortbread, coconut hershey kiss. FOR REALZ. But the best one...was chocolate-chip-pretzel.

Um, what? I would like to publicly praise whoever invented this glorious delectable.

How did we not know that crushing up pretzels and putting them in a chocolate chip cookie would be amaze.balls. I mean how. Also, there were pretzel M&Ms in it.

Dead.

I went to a bridal shower for one of my lovely ex-roommates (ok, that was the weirdest thing I've ever typed). And it turns out lots of my other ex-roommates were there! I love reunions so much. And awkward presents. Heh.

It rained and rained and I decided I really do love the rain. Almost as much as I love the sun. So I'll take both in heavy doses, half-and-half, thank you much.

We drove to Midway/Park City/Heber and I remembered I love the mountains and I want to live there. I also went to Whole Foods for the first time and observed that 99% of the people in there were wearing workout clothing. Ha. Take from that what you will.

Also, it made me feel poor to observe the chocolate section (one 5 oz piece was six buckaroos).

And also proud that I make my own bread and yogurt so I don't hafta pay them $7 for a loaf and $6 for a container. Stickin' it to the (super-healthy-and-smells-like-hemp-and-vitamins) man.

I thought about chopping my hair off again because this fishtail braiding nonsense is getting ridikkilus, dontcha think?I figured once school was out I would actually do my hair again.

Who am I kidding? I stuff envelopes all day.

I'll stick wit da braids.

No, I'm not at Coachella. I almost forgot about it, and then people started blogging about how they are there/how awesome it is/bon iver this/bon iver that. I want to kick something.

Word to people I have written letters to: it's okay with me if you write me back. In fact, I wholeheartedly encourage you to do it. I won't mind opening those envelopes, if you know what I'm saying.

Word to people who want a letter from me but haven't actually asked: ask.

don't forget, if you're getting sick of this blog I have another one, where I don't talk.

word to my melting cranium

dear brain,

I'm sorry I've been neglecting you lately. I know, I know. You thought all of this reading and analyzing and typing would get you far, but you were wrong. I was a bad owner for putting you through all of it. But guess what, soon it will be over. And then you will probably be glad that I put you in a metaphorical vice and squeezed until you almost exploded. You'll get a break, soon, little brain.

I'll keep feeding you blueberries every day because I know they are your favorite.

And pretty soon I will let you enjoy a book you actually want to read. I will let you savor all of the delicious words and get to know the characters a little bit. I might even make you so mad that you send a signal to my hands, and then my hands will throw the book. It's happened before, but only when you got really into it.

I'll let you get crazy-high on endorphins when I start running outside again. You will love what the sun and the running uphill does to you. Sometimes you complain to me about it, but then after we've gone a few miles you get really excited and you don't want to stop. Soon, my little cabeza. Soon.

I will probably go on bike rides, too, and you'll love feeling the breeze and hearing the sounds of spring. You like sending signals to my bare feet when they touch the grass or the cement. Shoes kind of dull the senses sometimes. Soon enough, we'll take care of that.

When June comes along, you will have to work hard again, but your right side will be the one working overtime. That side always worked hardest anyhow. You will have to find ways to entertain teenagers. The last time you did that was in 2009. I wish you luck.

I'm going to make some new playlists just for you, with all of the best tuneage I've collected during the winter months. I will let you listen to them whenever you want. You will probably send signals to my mouth and turn it into a smile.

There are only four weeks left. I think you can stand it. You've endured pretty crazy things before. What's 4 more weeks of an undergraduate education? You can do it.

Sincerely,

McKenzie

a basic glossary, in case you can't understand me.

some people shouldn't be allowed in front of cameras after 12am.

The other night some of my old friends from freshman year came over while I was bakin' up the heezy. I made muffins and bread, and gave it all to them, because I really can't take it when people say they "finally broke down and ate a package of Ramen." Uh-uh, not around me you won't. So anyway, I was popping the muffins out of the muffin tin and some of the crusty part got stuck. I said, "Do you want the little crumb-ditties, too?" He looked at me and said, "Oh yeah, I forgot about Kenzie Slang."

Huh? Kenzie Slang? Are you saying I have my own language or something?

Well, then I thought about it some more. And I came to the conclusion that yes, I do have my own slang. In case you were bored, here is an itty-bitty list. Now whenever you are around me you don't have to whip out google translate if I say one of these terms (and even if you did whip out google translate, it would not be able to help you. It once told a roommate in Mexico that "pastel" meant "crayon" instead of "cake," and that is a funny story for another blog post).

crumb-ditties: also known as the "corners" when it comes to baked goods.

ditty: just a thing. I dunno, I use it interchangeably for all sorts of things. Usually when I'm talking about a conversation or a song or something. Yeah, that wasn't vague at all.

redonkulus: otherwise known as "ridiculous"--go watch Bolt and you will undastan

pure awesomeness: used when talking about a favorite song, book, or person (Justin Vernon/Marlon Brando/the inventor of peanut butter)

celestial deliciousness: used to describe something insanely tasty which I have consumed, i.e. food from the taco bus or yogurtland

to the "nth" power: usually for emphasis, like "I was craving a popsicle to the 10th power" or "I needed a nap to the 100th power."

ya dig?: simply means "are you with me?" but not in a rude way. more like, "we're friends so I think you should agree with me."

the fuzz: my mom thinks this one is hilarious...it just means "the cops." So I guess she thinks cops are funny? Oh well. 

heck to the no manches: I'm so cool I combined slang terms from two different languages. "Heck no" is Utah slang, and "no manches" is Mexican slang. They both mean the same thing. But when I combined them, it was like an atomic explosion of slang. What?

what the mess/junk: I have been saying "what the junk" since the tender age of 14, until someone told me it was weird, so I stopped, and then that same friend who told me I had my own language started saying it, and I felt validated.

"the club cannot handle me right now": I am tired of these people I am surrounded by. A.K.A. get me outta here. 

tight like unto a dish: this was stolen from the Book of Ether. I can only say it around fellow Mormons, otherwise I get really weird stares instead of laughter. Use it in a sentence, you ask? "Me and Chelsea Bedke are tight like unto a dish." Bam.

creepstache: a creeper, weirdo, or scary person who lurks in dark alleyways and is also inebriated. this does not imply that all people with mustaches are creepy...but I bet when most of you imagine a creeper, you're thinking of a guy with some kind of facial hair, am I right?

oh my lanta: "oh my gosh" or "oh my goodness" equivalent

oh shnap: "oh snap" with an "h" thrown in. Do I really have to explain these anymore?

oh my gash: I noticed that it's funnier when people pronounce "gosh" with a weird, drawn-out accent, like "gash." So I do it on purpose. Ummm...and that's all. Yep.

whatev: back in the day, me and Chels were fluent in "abreev." And this is one of those words that has not yet faded away from that time in my life (other words I sometimes use from this era are "def" and "totes")

what the crepe? I was tired of saying "crap," so I started saying "crepe" because it almost sounds the same but it conjures up images of a tasty breakfast instead of...well, yeah. The other stuff.

noodles! same thing as "shoot!" or "dangit!"

up the heezy: a lot of something, yo

"brain barf": regular readers of this blog know that a brain barf is just my regular writing style, i.e. I write whatever the junk is coming into my head at the time, and it is a big fat mess. Kind of like the back of the car that one summer we went really fast down that windy road and Ike had eaten too many Cocoa Puffs....

sha-bam: when I write something cool and I expect you to respond with "whoa" or "duh," I stick this at the end, kind of like a kick in the sentence's pants. It's like an exclamation point...without the exclamation point.

coolioso: "cool" with "ioso" at the end, hence making it sound Spanish when it fact it is just McFrenzy Slang.

"confession session": whenever I need to confess a bunch of things, I do it on the world wide web and slap this title on it. Fastest way to get people to know all my secrets, hands down.

"I'll karate-chop so-and-so's face": just another way to say "I'm going to beat that person up," but not literally. Just in my mind...

tuneage: music that I listen to that just so happens to be splendid.

yerp: yes, yeah, siiiii

yesh: see "yerp"

chyeah: see "yerp" or "yesh"

amazeballs: yeah I debated even putting this on here, but I say it. I should probably stop. All it means is "amazing."

eleven things

There's this little ditty going around the blog universe, and I figured...why the heck not?

the rules

1) post these rules (check)

2) post 11 random things about yourself (check-check)

3) answer the questions of the person who tagged you

4) create 11 new questions for whoever you tag (that's everybody reading this, p.s.)

eleven things you probably didn't know about me

1) I go through "phases" when it comes to music artists, meaning I'll listen to all of a certain musician's stuff on repeat. Summer 2008: The Beatles. Summer 2011: Mumford and Sons. Last fall: Bon Iver. Recently: Florence+the Machine. They can last for days, weeks, or months.

2) I bake my own bread, pizza dough, pita, tortillas, and make my own yogurt. I'll never go back to the store bought stuff. I think the only processed food I own is Triscuits. What a rebel.

3) I hate dirty feet. Even if I'm camping, I've gotta have some baby wipes with me to keep those feetsies clean. I know I inherited this from my mother.

4) I think it's attractive when the opposite sex isn't afraid to use big words or correct grammar.

5) I have never broken a bone but I have gotten lots of weird injuries because I'm a klutz and a glutton for punishment. I have scars from a snowboarding collision, slipping on ice, falling during a race, falling on tide pools, giving a meat slicer a handshake, and slamming my car trunk door onto my hand.

6) I talk to people in other cars while I'm driving. And when I say "talk" I don't mean "Hey, how's it going?" More like, "Hey, why are you going so slow maybe you should get in the slow lane thanks!" Yeah, more like that.

7) I wouldn't mind living in Mexico or another country down south. Wouldn't mind at all.

8) I'm from Utah, but in my heart, I'll always be a Pacific Northwest girl.

9) I keep every letter/note/card that I receive.

10) I love old movies like nobody's bidnez, and most of my celebrity crushes are dead

(*cough* Marlon Brando)

11) I can play four instruments and am learning how to play a fifth!

questions Brandilyn asked

1. what did you have for dinner last night? A green smoothie.

2. what celebrity would literally bring you to tears if you saw them in person? Marlon Brando, because he's dead, so I'd probably cry out of joy/fear at seeing a ghost.

3. do you like your handwriting? I sure do!

4. how would your dad describe you? He would say, "Oh Kenz. You're something else." At least, that's what he's said to me in the past.

5. what's the last book you read? the last book you loved? Last book I read: Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. Last book I loved: Old Man & the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

6. how many pairs of shoes do you own? I'm going to say 20...

7. how often do you shave your legs? armpits? Legs: hahaha. I don't even know. Arms: at least three times a week. That was kind of fun to answer.

8. what do you order when you go to mcdonald's? (if you tell me you don't go to mcd's i will call you a LIAR!) Okay, call me a liar, but I do not remember the last time I went to Mickey D's. If I ever had to eat there, I'd probably get an egg McMuffin.

9. what's your earliest memory? watching Mr. Roger's Neighborhood on the TV when I was three.

10. have you ever won anything? what? I've won some writing contests/scholarship moolah. Does that count?

11. what is your worst habit? your best habit?

Worst habit: listening to music almost all the time. Best habit: eating healthy.

11 questions for whoever reads this:

1) If you had to live in the mountains or by the ocean, which one would you pick? Why?

2) What is the funniest movie you've ever seen?

3) Taco Time or Taco Bell (if you say "taco bus" I will love you forevah)?

4) If you could be really talented at something, what would it be and why?

5) Tommy Boy or Zoolander?

6) What is your favorite thing about summertime?

7) Favorite Beatles song (if you don't have one...that's a little sad)?

8) If you had to read/re-read one book for the rest of your life (excluding the scriptures, cuz that's a no-brainer), which one would you choose?

9) How do you feel about ugly sweater parties?

10) When was the last time you wrote a letter?

11) What is the best thing you have ever eaten?

Ready, set, go!

sometimes I want to cry, but I do my homework instead.

man-oh-man I wish studying was still this fun.

Most people like Fridays. Fridays are free days; at 5pm you get to bust out of the doors singing a song about how much you love life. And that should mean something even if you are in college and taking 12 flippin' credits of English. Twelve. Credits. Of. English. Twelve. Doce. A dozen. As in, a dozen eggs, or six omelettes, which I wouldn't have time to make even if I wanted to. Ya dig?

Every time I tell someone I'm taking English 495 and English 450 at the same time, they give me this weird look like, "Did you just break out of the local women's correctional facility?" or "Have you been drinking eggnog shots lately?" or "You suck at telling jokes." And then I have to go, "Yeah...hahaha that was dumb. But seriously. I'm taking both of them."

For the record, I did not have a choice. I couldn't register for either one until this semester. Then there's the other two English classes I am in, which require a minimum of one paper a week. And then Spanish class, which I tried to make my "fun class" because it's the only one I don't have to write papers for. But then we had a test with ten essay questions. So never mind about that.

This is the first semester where I will not go home a single time because the weekends are strictly homework time. It's okay though, because as soon as April 6th rolls around, I will finally have a summer to myself, without daydreaming about doing summery things while being held hostage by the library. What a blessed thing it shall be!

A few random bits:

• the letter-writing thing is going swell. That's what Sundays-after-church are for: baking bread and writing letters. If you want a letter from me, leave me a comment saying so.
• I'm thinking about doing an FAQ page, but in order to do that I need questions. And in order to have questions all of you lurkers have to come out of hiding and actually ask me stuff. And that means...DUN-DUN-DUN...leaving a comment.
• I just made chocolate-chip blondies with garbanzo beans in them. Because I really wanted to eat a lot of them without feeling guilty. Now I just feel like I shamed those chocolate chips. I guess I'm the kind of girl who likes her desserts to actually have butter, cream, eggs, etc in them. /end rant
• This week has been the week of double-napping. That should describe the entire week for you.
• I got a glorious package this week from Forever21 (my favorite store, btw). I forgot how awesome new clothes are.
• Reconnecting with old friends is bombtastic.

Thus ends a very random post, mostly about homework and comments and garbanzo beans. Man I am weird.

peanut butter cookies & car explosions

Let's get inside my head for a moment, shall we?

Yesterday I took a 3-hour nap (yeah, it was dumb to the tenth power). During this nap I dreamt that the apartment was a disaster. Dishes were piled everywhere, even on the floor. But I was determined to bake my Sunday loaf of bread. And some peanut butter cookies too, because why not? I would like to add that in my subconscious mind, the "mess" in the kitchen was still somewhat organized. All of the wooden things were stacked on the stove (um, not safe) and the metal stuff was in the sink. I also dreamt about someone...being my roommate, which would not be honor code savvy, but I gave him some cookies anyway. Next, I went to a house I didn't recognize and gave the strangers inside cookies too. What does this mean? 1) Cookies are always a good idea and 2) they will make anybody your friend.

Well, I took another nap today (ok dad, so I take a lot of naps, but they are never 3 hours long...except for that one time yesterday....ahem). And I dreamt that the apartment was a big mess again. Only this time it wasn't just clutter. There was mold and other things growing on the walls. Gag. Also, in this dream I was looking out my window and witnessed a realllllly bad car wreck, in which the car blew up. I have dreamt this dream more than a few times lately. What in the world is my dream mind saying? I'll break it down for you.

1) do not go see the Vow. oh wait...that wasn't really what my dream mind said. I'm just telling you for future reference.

2) I am afraid of car accidents (truth)

3) I like to bake (truth)

4) I will bake even if the kitchen is a mess (false)

5) I hate messiness (true)

6) I like giving food away (true)

7) I should stop taking naps (probably true, but I'm ignoring it)

What have you dreamt about lately? Anything that made you go, "what the fweak just happened?!" when you woke up?

PLUS

= a typical McKenzie dream

man, my head hurts.

letters 'n things

I've decided writing letters is becoming outdated. And that makes me sad. Because writing letters and receiving letters is probably one of the most bombtastic things ever.

I love imagining people's faces when they get a letter from me. Especially if they didn't know one was coming. It's lovely to imagine that the last person to hold that letter was your friend, and they were thinking of you when they sent it.

Letters may not be an instant message, but they sure get the message across. I'd venture to say they more than get the message across--it means that somebody took some time out of their day to have a conversation with you, to put pen to paper, and fold it up nicely and seal it in an envelope. And then they walked outside in the chilly air for just a few seconds to put that envelope into the mailbox and send it off on a little adventure. I may or may not be an English major...can't you tell?

One of my goals this year was to write a letter every week. So far I have succeeded. If you count packages, too...which I do.

If you comment on this post maybe you'll get a letter from me. If I know your address, that is. Whoa, did I just bribe you for comments? Guess so. Ever since I got rid of facebook nobody reads this anymore. Sigh. I'm still here!

something like exhaustion...

So I finished my last final today of 2011...I would cry tears of joy, but I think my tear ducts have had about enough this semester.

It's been a good, hard race. Kind of like the Ragnar. Yeah...that's the perfect analogy for this semester. During the race you keep thinking, "Why the heeeeck am I doing this? I would rather pluck all of my arm hairs off." And then it's over and you find yourself thinking, "Yeah, I could do that again. Why not? Here's a hundred bucks!"

I can only imagine what next semester will be like. Probably Ragnar, ultra-team style. Gulp.

This semester, I learned how much God is aware of me. Meaning that I really don't have anything to worry about. Seriously, nothing. And the peaceful feeling that comes with that has been hard to get used to, but very nice. I enjoy it. And it usually ends well!

For instance, yesterday morning I got up before most woodland creatures do to study for my huge-mongo Spanish final. When I walked into class to take said final, most of the boys looked like they were on the verge of pukedom. One of my friends said, "McKenzie...can you give me a blessing? I'm going to puke..." I laughed and said, "Nope...I can't. But it's going to be okay." Seriously, though. Even the redheads looked pale(r). It was going to be an epic final.

I tried to be positive (and yes, unrealistic, but that's not the point!): "Maybe he'll walk in and say, 'Merry Christmas! No final!'" We laughed nervously, and then, Hermano Rock himself walked in. He asked us about our essays that we'd turned in, made playful banter, etc. I kept thinking, "Why doesn't he get it over with and give us the final?!" It's like waiting for the nurse to give you your shot. You know, she says "Ok, here we go!" and you squeeze your eyes and try to take deep breaths and the needle is coming towards your arm but it's hurtling in slow-motion... "Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis wooooooooooon't huuuuuuuuuuuuurt." Anyways. I was pretty sure the Spanish test was going to feel like a peanut butter shot. So I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

Then. Then. Hermano Rock said, "Well, if you don't have anything else you want to discuss for the next hour and a half, you're excused." He said this in Spanish of course, so I had to check and make sure I wasn't lost in translation. I turned to the boys behind me and said, "Wait...serious?" One of them said, "Hurry, pack your stuff up before he changes his mind!" Hermano Rock will forever go down as the best Spanish professor in my book. Evah. No contest.

After that I had English. Our "final" was just submitting something we'd written onto the school's online blackboard and then the other class would judge, pick winners, etc. There were winners in Fiction, Non-Fiction, and Poetry. Apparently they also won $25 bucks at the bookstore, cha-ching. Well I sat back and relaxed and ate some cucumber slices provided by the school's catering bidnez. Until Brotha B. said, "And our winner for poetry is Ponyboy Curtis..." Yeah, that's my pen name. Deal wit it. Everyone looked around while he said, "Ponyboy?" Yes, I felt foolish at that moment for choosing such a name. But honestly, I couldn't believe nobody else picked that pen name! Some guy in the class had simply used the pound sign as his pen name. Fo'real. Ok, I'm getting off-topic now. Sooo then I had to get up in front of the class and read my poem with a shaky voice because I'm kind of bad at reading poems out loud. The end.

Now all I want to do is eat a frosty (finals week=no grocery shopping=all that's in my fridge is milk and apples and flaxseed and peanut butter). And take a really long nap. I'm talkin 12 hours. And if I could, I would get in my car (that doesn't exist) right now and drive to grandma bonnie's and upon arriving there I would collapse onto any soft surface (that includes her front yard) and then in the morning I would drive to my house while having a dance party to "Man in the Mirror" in the front seat. And I wouldn't think about school. Not one bit.

is this real life?

this should scare you.

Do you ever stop for a second and look at everything happening in your life? Do you ever want to say, "Did that just happen?" And I mean this in a good way of course. I've had a few of these "whoa" moments in the past few days. One was when the devotional speaker was talking about how his grandparents met because the slave ships sailed to America. Then he said (over the pulpit in the BYU-I Center, mind you), "Long live slavery!" I about died.

Then there was last Sunday. Oh the things I could tell! It was like I had a target on my back and God was shooting blessings at me right and left. I almost wanted to say, "Slow down, slow down, I can't carry them all!" Almost everything I read, everything someone said to me, was an answer to prayer. That's what happens when you spend a lot of your time talking to God. He talks right back.

Those of you who know me know that I like to re-read my journals. It helps me make sense of things...Well recently my journal entries from last year at this time have been creepishly similar to the things happening now. It's cuh-razy. I don't know if that's some kind of coincidence or foreshadowing or what, but yeah...journals are cool. End of discussion.

Things I love about life right now: wearing boots and scarves and hats every day, squash for deener, mixed CDs, pregnancy class, Postmodern Literature, none of my roommates playing Christmas music yet, pumpkin frozen yogurt, ward parties, seeing people I know on campus and saying "hi" to them very rambunctiously (I've been told it makes people feel good, so yeah...watch out), saying "rambunctiously" in a sentence, taking naps with the heater on, buying a puffy vest (yes, yes I did), new blonde streaks in my hair (it must be the glare from the snow...), Ye Olde Testament class, 10-page letters to Hermana Bedke, jumping on the furniture in our apartment like a child, triscuits+peanut butter+honey, text messages from TP on the day we've been waiting for for 2 years (like how I say "we," like we're a couple or something?), getting a friend a job (chyeah!), using way too many parenthetical statements.

DUDE. Ok sooooo yeah, life is awesome.

And then there's that Hunger Games trailer.

Sorry, had to.

fridee

hooray for weekends, hooray for hot chocolate with chocolate chips stirred in, hooray for new mixes, hooray for doorbell ditching, hooray for little notes to people i love, hooray for the chilliness which means I get to wear scarves and boots every day, hooray for preach my gospel, hooray for baseball hats, hooray for babies and classes all about them, hooray for 12-year olds who can't stop talking about star wars, hooray for phone calls to connect me to parents, hooray for old journal entries which help me make sense of everything senseless, hooray for running into secret crushes all the time, hooray for letters from out of the country, hooray for soup, hooray for old friends coming to visit, hooray for the temple on the hill, hooray for everything, everything.

and while i'm at it, here's what else is making me happy this week.

1. passion pit, and this song.

2. hocus pocus, a classic. (yes, I am aware it is a halloween movie, but it's still october in my mind)

3. this post by sydney. baby hunger, get thee hence!

4.autumn bike rides.

5. this video--just too good to be true.

6. postmodernism, for making me want to cry every time i do an assignment. the stories are so stinkin' good. all of you should read this book.

7. newspaper poetry.

8. awesome/amazing/brilliant ideas that strike in the middle of the night (sound familiar? the same thing happened about a year ago....and strangely it had to do the with the exact same subject. see number 8.). this one is just...oh man, i don't even have words.

9. this idea to make popcorn, saved me moolah. and now i eat popcorn a lot more. hrm....

what can i say, it's friday and it's november and nobody is playing Christmas music at the moment, so i'm feeling snaaazzy. how is your weekend looking?

dance, dance, dance the night away.

I think I might be a hipster in disguise

For those of you unfamiliar with the hipster movement, let me enlighten you.

So-called "hipsters" like to wear cardigans, "ugly sweaters," big baggy sweatshirts, etc. But they can't be too baggy. We've gotta stay semi-classy, ok?

Then there's the tea. Apparently hipsters drink a lot of it, preferably in vintage teacups. Whatever that means. Which brings me to my next point--the vintage-ness. This is also known as thrifting, but some hipsters don't want you to know they shop at the thrift store. So when you ask, "Hey, I love that dress!" they can say "Thanks, it's vintage." Now you all know that's code for D.I.

Hipsters love to rock the Harold B. Lee's. Or what others would commonly call the nerd glasses. I have this theory, and it's probably completely wrong,but that's why I'm calling it a theory and not a fact. Ever since the 3-D movies started being the norm, those nerd glasses have become the cool thing to wear. 3-D movies=leftover 3-D glasses-their lens=hipster. Wa-la!

As far as footwear goes, they like to keep it real in Vans slip-ons or any kind of slip on tennis shoe (think Keds). Even better if you can wear these shoes with skinny jeans. Even if you're a boy--if you're a hipster, skinny jeans are ok. Also, if you are hipster, slouchy beanies are a must.

Oh, and it doesn't hurt if you have a mustache. Girls, a fake one will do. In fact, fake ones are becoming even more popular.

In their free time, hipsters like to be out in the wild. Sounds kind of transcendentalist, huh? Well, it's true. They like to gallivant in the woods, climb trees, ford streams, and if they are true hipsters, they read poetry while they do it. Then they take polaroid pictures of themselves doing these activities and they end up on weheart.com with their own category (you guessed it..."hipster").

The most important facet of being a hipster is the music. The music is probably what makes hipsters hipsters. They listen to folk and/or alternative rock. What the junk is folk, you ask? Stuff like Bon Iver, Mumford and Sons, Death Cab for Cutie, Fleet Foxes, Elliot Smith, Damien Rice, Iron & Wine, Jose Gonzalez...getting a feel for it yet? And the alternative rock, well that's Explosions in the Sky, The Naked and the Famous, Phoenix, Rogue Wave, Arcade Fire, The Decemberists, etc etc etc.

Here is my dilemma. That, right there, is the kind of music I listen to. At first when I started seeing these tunes put in a category called "hipster music," I was kind of offended. Until I realized...I might be a hipster. But it was a complete accident, I swear. See for yourself:

Today I wore skinny corduroy jeans. I don't wear skinny anything...but today, I did.

My roommate regularly makes fruit tea and when she offers...obviously, I accept. Because it's tasty.

I like to go to the D.I. all the time. A good Saturday would consist of me cooking, riding my bike, and going to the D.I. Which is probably what I'll do tomorrow. Ack.

I own a pair of grey Vans Slip-ons. They're comfy, ok? I also own a pair of square-lens glasses, a pair of nerd glasses, a pair of fake glasses with the lenses still in them (so they aren't completely hipster, but still...), and a slouchy yellow hat which I wear often. Oops.

I like to be outside whenever possible. I went on a bike ride at least three times this week when I couldn't take the library anymore.

And do I have a little writer's notebook to write down poem/story ideas? Maybe... Okay, I do!

The lesson for today is, it's okay to be a hipster...as long as you are still being yourself. The end.

For more about hipsters, read this! No really...it's kind of funny. And I didn't even read it before I wrote this...that just goes to show you how much I already know about hipsters. Ahh I really am becoming one of them!

domesticated and such

This week one of my facespace statuses (or is it stati? geesh, all of this English homework is getting to me in a bad way) said the following: "I just ate a pb&j sandwich with homemade bread and jam...does that mean I'm domesticated or poor?"

I'm pretty sure it's both. I love to cook and lately everything (not just food) has been homemade. I make my own bread, my own deodorant, my own sugar scrub, my own hair product, my own smokin' hot dates for the weekend. Oh...wait, forget that last one. That was my psyche projecting. Ha. I really need to quit hanging out with psych majors.

Today I refrained from buying the celestial kingdom in a can, a.k.a. canned pumpkin, because I know I'm just gonna buy a pumpkin and cook it. See? I think my pioneer roots are starting to creep in...or maybe I'm just a poor college student. Yeah, that's probably it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go sew a quilt really quick before bed. It's getting a little bit chilly in here.

I'm not a gymnast but I can tumblr!

So, somebody just read this blog from Dublin. Hiii person if you are still here! Or should I say, "Go mbeannaí Dia duit." That means "May God Bless You." I may or may not have just googled "Irish phrases" and unintentionally landed on Irish phrases in the Gaelic language. Google 1, McKenzie 0.

On another note, school is gonna start in T minus 4 days. But am I in Rexburg? Check no! I'm still in my basketball shorts and t-shirt, at home, milking the last of my free time. Because in a few short days, its back to The Idaho. I don't know why, but I just like referring to that particular state with the article in front of it. I must be an English major or something.

This summer has been pretty marvelous. Here's what I mean by marvelous:

• Park City not once, but two times
• The hike-every-week goal? Fulfilled! Ok, except for one week I missed. But don't worry, I'll make up for it sometime before the frost comes (Dear Rexburg, please don't let that happen until December. Or Thanksgiving. I can handle Thanksgiving.)
• Lots of family reunions (three in a row)
• garden tomatoes
• friend reunions (Kaitlyn Dwiggins gives the best hugs, people)
• running in the summery night air (which has become the autumny night air, which I also love)
• rooftop concerts. Hello, Imagine Dragons, my new favorite band. But the sweaty guy who spit on me, goodbye. Good. Bye.
  

I could list a whole lot more, but I don't want to put you to sleep. We'll save that for the post when I'm trapped in the library again. Oh gee willickers, please don't let that happen to me again this semester.

In the meantime, here's some pictures from my tumblr to entertain you. I will put real photos up here once my computer is fixed. The next time I write on this thing, it will be in Rexburg. Slán leat! (that means goodbye for all of you non-Gaelic-fluent people)

I still quote this show despite the fact that I am 21 years old.


I want to frame it.


Autumn is coming at last!


Does anyone else miss cassette tapes?


I have experienced this many a time.


Will always remain one of my favorite movies of all time.


I just like it, and that's all.


He will be at my next concert. Preferably on stage.


Stuff from this movie shows up on my tumblr a lot.


Classic.


How can you not like him?


A lot of my tumblr is foresty pictures, because maybe I wish I lived there.


A lot of people say she's my celebrity look-alike. What say you?


Fav-o-rite.


Art that I like (also comes up on the tumblr)


This made me laugh.

I know that lately this blog has been nothing but another place to put my tumblr pictures. Don't deny you didn't enjoy them! But I promise, soon this will go back to being my blog, and the tumblr will have its own place. In the meantime....have a looksee at all this goodnez!