Saturday, April 2, 2011

la ultima semana


my last week in tehuacan is bearing down on me now.
i can feel it, edging its way into my bed at night, haunting me.
and then i wake up and try to forget about it, but it won't leave me alone.

in order to alleviate the pain/excitement/joy/relief/happiness/sadness
which is starting to feel more like an anvil of emotion, rather than words,
i'm going to write something for every last day that i'm here.

starting today.

conference in a small room, baptismal font filling up slowly behind me.
cars honking outside, american missionaries reminding me of 17-year-olds.
watermelon with lots of seeds.
it's hot, i can feel my hair pasting itself to my back. oh hair, why don't i cut you off.
but i change my mind again. other people's wedding pictures can be very persuasive.

another mexican party, as soon as we arrived the lights began flashing
i'm used to being a celebrity because of my skin color
but this time it was God moving furniture
loud and beautiful, followed with rain, blessed rain.
oregon flashbacks, always accompany rain.
I was the only one standing in it, everyone else underneath the garage.

lots of Mexicans staring, I kept dancing. Even in my ruined clothes.
All my clothes are ruined.
I'm glad, though. It means I don't have to take them with me,
I get to leave a piece of myself behind, the old self.

while I'm dancing in a circle with Mexicans who have hips,
I notice that I'm dancing too, but I'm not caring
about everyone watching {and everyone is watching}

just like the rain, I've fallen into a place
I didn't expect
And it absorbed me.


sleye1 said...

lovely - from a lovely.

It will be a great week. See you Sunday/Monday.

JP Anderson said...

poetic. I almost felt like I was there.

Ging said...

Thank you for drawing the picture- I stood in front of it and smiled for a long time. I tried to step inside so that I could dance with you, but was then reminded that I must settle for imagination. Good thing you are such a great painter

Terri said...

Wow I was there with you to. I love your beautiful transformation. I think Mexico has swallowed up your heart.