farewell for now

Yes, it's true. The time has come for me to hang up my hat when it comes to this here blog (and really the hat I'm wearing is super cute so I'm not actually taking it off...k?).

Please, do not cry. I'll be back someday! But it will probably be a different blog altogether. I just don't know when.

Reasons why I'm ending all of the fun:

• Lately I've felt like blogging is a chore. I've kept this blog since I was in college, and that's kind of what it was for in the first place. My life is a lot different now, and, welp, I hate to say it, but not as interesting. Also I don't have a camera and I'm pretty sure if I did you wouldn't want to see pictures of my cubicle. I don't even want to see my cubicle. You know what I mean?
• Blogging is awesome and it's also the worst thing that ever happened. Because I read so many amazing blogs and then I start comparing myself/my life to all of these other amazing people, and I get kind of sad about it. And I feel like whatever I blog isn't going to "measure up." Yeah, I know, it's silly, but it's a real thing when you enter the blogosphere (p.s. that is a weird word via the internet). So I need to take a break from it for awhile. Blogging shouldn't feel like a competition, ya know?
• I'm getting tired of blogging the same old things. I've lost my creative juice. Also it kind of feels pointless to blog when nobody is really reading it (p.s. I can't tell you're reading it if you don't comment. kthanksbye). If you want scruff, go here. If you want foresty pictures, go here. If you want delicious displays of food, go here. Oh wait, that's my other blog that has 800 followers somehow! That blog is kind of like my "dream life." And that's where I'll be hanging out from now on. 

Peace out girl scouts (er..and boys scouts, if there are any reading this, which I highly doubt, unless Caleb is reading this, then hiiiiiiiiii Caleb!)

neglected

It's about to snow and I'm not sure how I feel about it, mostly because I don't feel as if I have sufficiently relished October. On the other hand, I remember the exact day it began to snow last year in Rexburg...October 9th. I had a soccer game. Key word is had. So we're slightly ahead of the curve this time.

I found this post from the olden days and laughed until I cried. Ellie you perfect Asian 7-year-old you.

I discovered Beach House. What in the what, why has nobody forced me to listen to them before now?

This postcard was basically written by me.

Work has been pretty lame this week, I don't know why. Gloomy weather just makes me want to stay in bed and read all day. I still have four unfinished books by my bed. That's what renewing your library books ten times is for, am I right?

I contemplated abandoning this blog because um, that's what I've been doing anyway, but if I officially abandoned it then I wouldn't feel obligated to post for the zero people that read this. Negative Nancy, go to sleep.

Oh btw I also started using Spotify (I know, so 2010). What can I say, I liked it when Pandora just made me a playlist and surprised me with good music. But now I can rotate some good tune-age whenever I want. Right now it's Desert Noises every live long day.

The election is in one week, gah. Remember when this happened? I'm glad it will be over because #1, election night gives me anxiety to the nth degree and #2, people will hopefully stop posting all of the political craziness on facespace. f'reallllllls, I don't know how much more mud slinging I can take. Brown is not my color when it's...dirt. Kbye.

FYI I also saw the new Bourne movie and I have decided that a bearded Jeremy Renner is an attractive Jeremy Renner indeed. Go see it please or I'll...have to think of a good threat later because srsly, I just took two advil and we all know what medicine does to me.

p.s. I'm only slightly embarrassed that half of my photobucket library is scruff.
up next: some more riveting blog posts, I swear. I don't have instagram but I will get you to comment!
p.p.s Star Wars 7 is happening. I don't know what to say except what in the junk. Do you remember the last 3 they made? DO YOU?!

when the universe speaks...

napoleon=the universe

the doll=me

I keep waking up in the middle of the night for no reason. Is this the universe's way of telling me I'm never going to figure out my life and therefore should deprive myself of sleep in order to figure out said life? I mean really, that sentence made no sense. None. Zilcho.

Conference was good. I cried through most of it. Buuut f'reals. I did. And I'm still crying about it. Is this the universe's way of telling me that every talk was "made for me" and if so I really need to shape up my life? Ack.

October is meandering on by, which I like, because it's my favorite month (don't know why this is suddenly a "blogger cliche," I'm preeeety sure it's a human cliche and therefore not a cliche at all). On the other hand, it means there's only two whole months left of 2012 and two whole months until I am no longer 22, and oh gash, that scares me for no reason. The universe is ignoring me on this one. I get no signals.

Stuff that kind of stresses me out right now: people who scream at me when I'm trying to help them get free money, people who swear at me when I'm trying to help them get free money, people who scream in general, the snail trail I found on my carpet...inside my room, my hair and its never ending need for cuttage, the byui alumni emails I keep receiving because they make me sad and also I'm not down with being called an "alumni" yet, and the presidential debates on TV. Sometimes I think I would rather drink a whole huge can of grape juice in 10 seconds than hear everyone talk argue about politics. For the love. Also, every techonlogical thing I own is broken: my car radio, my iPod, my camera, this computer (been in-viru-fected for a year). Hence the lack of pictures these last few months which actually have to do with me.

Stuff that only stresses me out a little because it affects the rest of my life: the GRE and why does such a test have to be the deciding factor of the rest of my life? also, all my TV shows are back on all at once and I honestly don't have time to watch any of them. So mebbe I will just have one TV show from now on, and it will be Arthur (yeash, the cartoon).

Stuff that doesn't stress me out but it should: the current state of my legs (I'm at the halfway point between "okay" and "sicknasty"), the fact that I still don't know what to be for Halloween, this book I am reading about death and heartbreak and oh gash it really shouldn't be read before bed but I do it and why am I not having nightmares? Also, my perpetual state of singlehood should probably stress me out as well, but it doesn't. It did when I was in Rexburg, though. Then again, Rexburg is the place where all of the diamond store advertisements go to make war on single women. I kid you not.

Well, this has been pretty weird. And I have a headache. Probably from venting all of that stuff onto you. Man, aren't I the best? Betcha can't wait until next time. Maybe I will throw a scruffy picture in just for good measure, so I don't lose all two of my followers (hi parents!).

beautiful person alert

soon it will be cold enough to build fires

october=bonfire season

lately
I've been writing more and more letters, to strangers and friends alike. It revives me after a week of sending hundreds of flat, lifeless business letters. Today I got one in return, waxed seal and all. Thanks, Brit. A reply is forthcoming. Did I just say forthcoming? Yeah...yeah I did.

My favorite band broke up. Maybe if we're lucky Justin V. will retreat to the woods and write another amazeballs album, which will come out in like 10 years. Complete with a free canoe on the side.

I picked up my guitar...and harmonica. And tried to channel my inner Bob Dylan, but it didn't work because #1, I don't have an afro, #2, I don't have one of those super flattering headgear harmonica holder things, and #3, I'm not Bob Dylan. Oh yeah! Hey, if Cate Blanchett can pull it off, why not me? Don't answer that.

=

?!

The radio in my car started to work again one morning, but this is only half good because every time I go over a bump in the road, the station changes itself. There are no numbers on the dial, so I have to guesstimate where all of the good music is. In case you were wondering, 75% of the roads in American Fork are "under construction" and have been for the past 20 years. So you can just imagine the music smorgasbord I experience every day without really wanting to.

My fellow compadres at work gather at the lunch table every day and discuss the weirdest things. I think I'm going to start making flow charts, because the things we get off topic on are ten levels weirder than weird. You would understand if you talked to the people I talk to 8 hours of every day. I'm not kidding about these conversations, though. Everyone else in the room will not-so-subtly stand nearby and eavesdrop, then laugh out loud, totally blowing their cover.

Example of today's conversations: owl pellets, seafood, large creepy fish, the fish farm in Oregon, Costco, Costco hot dogs, PMS, the people at Social Security offices who deserve to have their eyebrows shaved off, etc. I bet you could find a common thread if you really tried.

I started to knit again and oh gash, it is the hardest thing anyone ever invented with two sticks. I'm pretty sure drumming would be easier. But drumming does not produce beanies, an item which someone like me happens to need copious amounts of. Dang, that was a terrible sentence.

Stuff I am currently craving: (and by currently I mean 24/7/365 but now it's legal) 

dead leaves everywhere

pumpkin

scruff. always.

Talks you should read if you want your mind blown: this, this, and this. Sha-bam. 

Songs you should listen to if you want your ears to be happy: 

this video..kill me dead.

hi, I'm mckenzie and I'm addicted to making playlists

in honor of the autumnal equinox, my friends:

the suburbs//arcade fire

i and love and you//the avett brothers

re:stacks//bon iver

le loup//le loup (fear not)

iron and wine//each coming night

grizzly bear//reprise

chairlift//i belong in your arms

james vincent mcmorrow//if i had a boat

justin vernon//sweet, sweet magdalene

janove otteson//forget about me

the beatles//dear prudence

damien rice//one

sean hayes//a thousand tiny pieces

the lumineers//stubborn love

jerry douglas + mumford and sons + paul simon//the boxer

feist//graveyard

fleet foxes//bedouin dress

gregory alan isakov//that moon song

blind pilot//oviedo

jose gonzalez//down the line

the best...

just gonna leave this here.

...when oldschool music like Fleetwood Mac comes on my Bon Iver Pandora station. So random, but amazeballs at the same time.  Also, I would like to know how they came up with those band names.

...when your computer is possessed by the devil after only being alive for 4 years. Honestly, I just need to suck it up and buy a Macintosh. Why is that always the answer?!

...dark mint chocolate. oooh yes. I almost wish I didn't possess any. Then again, I'm McKenzie, and dark chocolate is part of my eternal identity (I think).

...Having a week of studying just my favorite chapters in all of the Book of Mormon. We're talking 2 Nephi 32-33, Helaman 5, Ether 12, Moroni 10, Alma 37. Ahhh yeah.

...not getting any sleep the night before. This is only good because the next night (i.e. tonight), you know for sheeeezy that you are gonna be out like a broken lamp before the sheets are even over your leggies.

...online shopping. I've always been a big fan of that there invention, just because I'm an introvert and I dislike going to malls and being overwhelmed with all the people and all of the clothes and ahhh. Yeah, Forever 21 is no place for people like moi. The only downer is paying for shipping (I'm talking to you, Urban Outfitters).

...the little patches of red on the mountainside by my house. those patches of red are getting even bigger, and it makes my heart grow bigger and bigger, and pretty soon it's going to beat right out of my cheeeeeeeest. Is that a song? No? Well, it should be.

....reading old emails between Niki and Chelsea and myself. Dang we are hilarious. Honestly, most of the time we spoke in "inside joke" and abreev and all kinds of crazy codes which only we understood. Sigh.

...titling my journal entries. Sometimes this is a drag, and I stink at it on purpose. I'll write something intentionally lame like, "I Am Tired Today, Therefore Deal With It." But today..oh man. Today's title was thus: "I Wanna Be the Gun to Someone's Holster!" I hope you know I didn't just come up with that, but stole it from a cultured hip-hop artiste. Yes indeed.

...pictures of men's style that show up on the internets. I didn't really know that "men's style" existed for awhile, because let's face it, growing up most of the boys I knew dressed in Hollister (get your flashlights everyone!) or wore their pants way too low. But let's not open that can of worms! Anyway, now I see pictures like dis and I am pleased. Very pleased indeed.

somebody get me a human who wears these clothes (and has that scruff) asap. okay? okay. 

confess or don't, but either way you ate a lot of apple pie.

I service society by (not) blogging

1) I just wrote the title of this post as if I was talking to myself. Which I pretty much am doing anyway. Isn't that what a blog is? I'm too tired to get into the metaphorical-ness of that last statement.

2) Ellie made a birthday card for my dad, and in it she wrote a little poem. It said something about a hippopotamus, which I didn't really get, but this is Ellie we're talking about, so it doesn't really matter. But then she wrote, "Make a birthday wish, and make lots of wishes, and wish that you will get locked in a freezer full of ice cream!" Now I know 100% that we are related.

3) We all know that I love pumpkin, and the first boy to make me a pumpkin treat will be my number 1. But I have realized another weakness when it comes to fall dessert...apple pie. Remember last fall when I ate like thirty slices and almost had cardiac arrest 10 minutes later? DO YOU?

4) I go through musical phases and sometimes I really can't stop listening to a certain artist and it gets almost obnoxious how heavily they will rotate. For example: Justin Vernon is all over this page. It never ends, my friends.

5) I used to be really terrible at talking on the phone. For serious, there was a time when I would rather do a backflip into the Grand Canyon wearing nothing but a scrunchie than talk on the phone. Okay...that was unnecessarily graphic. But the point is, I would cry (actual tears, but no mascara yet because I was still a youngun) when my mom handed me the phone. Now I do it all the live long day, and I am a professional. I'm also a professional typist, post-it-noter-maker, alphabetizer, and over-the-phone-accidental-therapist. Awesome.

6) I've been going through this awful phase when every time I look in the mirror I go, "blurgh!" It's like that scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's when Holly G. looks in the mirror and says, "I've got to do something about the way I look!" Although she is Audrey Hepburn in real life, soooo I'm not sure I can totally feel for her in that moment. Back to me. This morning my hair was being my hair, i.e. acting like it didn't care about the fact that I wield the brush and hairdryer! So I showed it up, and parted my hair on the other side.

You guys. Why didn't anyone tell me about this secret sooner? Whenever you are not feeling the hair, just move it over. Whaaaat?! Yeah, it's that simple. Shazam.

Also, can we talk about how one of the great ironies of life is that you can fix your hair while watching TV/knitting a scarf/eating pasta simultaneously, without a mirror, and it looks perfect, and then you go to do the same thing the next day for reals and it looks terrible?! I mean, why? P.S. ignore that run-on sentence that just happened.

7) I went and bought myself two new beanies. In a color besides yellow. ALERT THE PRESSES.

8) At first when my iPod died a few weeks ago, I thought I was gonna die too. My journaling got really bad, because I used my iPod to fuel my pen. But I've gotten used to the silence again. And guess what? I like it.

9) Sometimes I get homesick for the most raaandom places. Like the WinCo in Idaho Falls. Or the 2nd floor of the McKay Library. I never thought I'd get homesick for that place. Ha! Especially after making these super special memories there: number one, number two, and number three.

10) My secret wish is to have a cabin/house thing like the one in Dan in Real Life and go there every autumn so I can relish the whole season without having to think about anything else but the leaves falling and the smell of wood burning and the golden October moon.

are ya kiddin' me?

can we talk about how it's september already?

don't be sad, scarecrow, it's almost October! yess!

GUYS. I completely and utterly remember April..and I remember those two graduation ceremonies which were kind of excruciatingly long, and I remember being starving, and also not wanting my picture taken but not being a great position to avoid that.

My ability to form sentences has greatly diminished since I got that diploma in the mail (classy, right?).

Anyway, the point is, the summer has evaporated along with all of the other moisture in Utah. And it's all gone up in flames now...also like Utah.

Sometimes I get sad about summer ending, but not this year. This summer was a tough one. Plus, it was super-stinking hot. I'm not a fan of heat. I'll take rainyness and even a little snow over a scorching day. Then I can wear Mr. Yellow Hat anytime I don't feel like doing my hair (everyday, btw).

Now it's officially time to wear boots and scarves, and I did my duty and wore both today. Okay, so it wasn't that smart considering the temperature climbs to about 80 degrees by midday. That's how September is. I'm impatient for October 11 months out of the year. Or maybe I'm just impatient to stop shaving my legs...such is life!

Tessa Matthews asked me to give her the haps. So Mrs. Matthews, here ya go:

Ellie came into my room yesterday with one goal in mind: to get money from me. If only my cash flow was as abundant as the number of tweets about Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. Oops, did I say that out loud? So back to Ellie. She came into my room and said, "Hey Kenzie, I really need some money. And if you don't give me some I'm gonna be really mad." This girl knows how to fundraise. There's a reason so many people bought girl scout cookies from her this summer, and it's not because of her cuteness. Ok, well maybe a little bit. Observe:

My job is kind of hilarious. I'm getting pretty good at it now. The first week was stressful up the heeeeezy because I got a huge caseload and oh man it was way overdue and fjskljf;sajf;a but I got it figured out now. Mostly. And people seriously crack me up with the things they demand of me. For example:

"Hi, I was just wondering where my check is?"
"What check? You mean for disability?" Ha..oh man. Then I have to tell them their "check" ain't comin' for at least 18 months. Sorry charlie.

Oh and my favorite one:

"Hey, how come Social Security is sending me paperwork? I thought you were supposed to fill it all out." "Um, no I can't fill it out. Only you know yourself and what you do every day. You have to fill it out."
"What did I even hire you for then? What do you even do all day?" *Facepalm* TIMES A THOUSAND.

And then sometimes, the clients get all TMI up in my grill and I cannot handle it. So I try really hard not to react while I'm on the phone with them, but as soon as I hang up I have to bust a gut. They think that me, being their case manager, must know every single detail of their disability. And I mean every. detail. Sometimes they send me photos. At which point I must poke my mind's eye out.

Today is September 12th. So now it will be less than a month until I see this wonderful person otra vez:

Can I get a holllllllla?! Yes I am pretty excited. I'm even trying to speak gangster. Which comes not-naturally to me. Because I am 100% Caucasian. The End.

and now, I have compiled a photographic list of reasons I miss Rexburg right now:

the building on the hilltop.

the view from my room.

Willie Wednesdays (on Thursdays)

el taco bus

Reesey, my favorite reading center student ever of all time

enough snow to make an actual couch, ahh yeah

friends like this

how can you not love her?

back from a long reprieve

this is how you all feel about me, isn't it? (you don't have to answer that)

Guys, I just used the word "reprieve" in a blog title. I'd like to thank the academy for...okay what? It's been awhile. I hardly know how to do this blog thang anymore. Would you like the juicy deets? Alrighty then. Here goes:

I went hiking last weekend and I fell (not surprising). This fall wasn't that awesome. All I did was have a moment of sheer klutzery and scrape my leg on some gravel (p.s. we were on a trail not meant for humans, so it was kind of the mountain's fault, not mine). But now everybody wants to be my friend so they can find out what the heck happened to my leg. I've decided to start making a tally of how many times a day I get asked, "What happened to your leg?!" followed by the inevitable hairy eyeball. Strangers and friends alike have all gaped at my gash. What's worse is that I can't shave it (ew, just thinking of that makes me want to gag a little), so now it's hairy and scabby.

Now that I've used "hairy and scabby" in the same sentence to describe myself, this blog has reached a new low. Again, I'd like to thank the academy. What academy I'm thanking I'm not so sure. I'll get back to you.

My new job has become another new job as I got promoted, and went through training yet again. Our trainer described the new job thus: "You guys are basically fancy babysitters." Right you are! What she means to say is, I call people and make sure they're going to their doctor's appointment so they don't get denied, I call social security offices around the country to make sure they're getting our paperwork, and in the meantime I hear some preeettty hilarious stuff. For example:

• "Dear Mr. So-and-so, we are denying you for disability benefits because we found you are in prison for murdering someone. Also, you missed your appointment on such-and-such day." Well duh. Of course he did. But what was that about murdering someone?
• "Dear Mrs. So-and-so, we are denying you for disability benefits because we found your assets exceed the limit social security has established. We found that your husband has $1,000,000 in his bank account." Yeah, she was pretty mad about the government finding that one out. I"m sorry to say that when that happens, some people actually say, "Well if I get a divorce from my spouse will their assets affect me?" For reals. Free money is not worth it. 
• And then sometimes the state social security offices are busy (and by sometimes I mean always), and I get to call the national Social Security office. Which is the ultimate experience in facepalming. I've decided to make a collage in my cubicle of awesome art I have created while being on hold with social security. By the way, these are no mediocre doodles. They can take all dang day! And ya, that means it can take all dang day to get in touch with someone at that number. And then when you finally tell them you're so-and-so's attorney, they go, "Um, your name isn't on the 1696 is it?" (1696=the form that says we represent the client). "Well, no, but Brad Myler's name is on it" (he's the head honcho). "Ok, well if your name isn't on it then I can't give you any information." "But-but-but I was on hold for fifteen--" BAM. Facepalm. Guys, the club cannot handle me right now. I want to wring the club's metaphorical neck sometimes. Ugh.

Alright, now if that last paragraph wasn't passive-aggressive enough for you, I suggest going to CNN and reading in the comments section below any article.

I promise I'll be better about this blogging thing. It's just that the end of summer is kind of whacked up. We run around like crazy headless chickens for three months, and sweat out everything we thought we had to sweat, and watch Utah burn to a crisp, and then bam! It's all over and we're making pancakes on the first morning of school and taking pictures of zombie-eyed children in their classy new clothes. I'll admit, I am jealous of everyone starting school again. I miss it so. Especially in the fall.

Speaking of fall, it's almost that time again. That "mellow, leaf-kicking pause." The mysterious months when the ground crunches everywhere you go and the wind bites your cheek as it brushes past. I basically lurve it and I wish it was fall time all the time. In my heaven, that's what it will be. So if you're planning on coming to visit me up there (and I know you are), just be sure to wear your cords/boots/knee socks/beanies/scarves/peacoats. Or whatever the heavenly equivalent to those things are...maybe like a wool  robe or something? 

Geesh, that sounds itchy and awful. Forget that idea. Whatever you wear, just make sure it's kosher for some pumpkin-picking, leaf-pile-jumping, soup-consuming celestialness. Aight? 

(it's okay, I don't know what I just said either)

maybe in my heaven I'll let cats come if they look as cool as this one does.

or maybe it's just the dead leaves that make him look cool.

let's not get too hasty, now, shall we?

the joys of (not) having a gall bladder

a picture of me back when i had a gall bladder (i.e. every day of my life up until july 23rd)

caleb's head is resting right about where my gall bladder used to be. awww. 

I'm still in a drug-induced haze, so we'll see how this blog even turns out. Here's the diet coke version (heh, I picked that up from my Spanish professor. But not anything Spanish-related...)

Starting last Monday, the 16th, I was going about my regular bidnez (work, exercise, eat, sleep, read, shower, blah blah). I had just eaten a loverly dinner of chicken and rice with broccoli. Normally I don't go into that much detail but it's important that you know what my last meal was before all this nonsense went down. Right in the middle of FHE, I felt a strange pain in my side, like I was being stabbed. Ugh! I've had weird stomach problems for who knows how long, but had never felt anything like this. I've been off of gluten, dairy, sugar, you know, the works. Nothing helped. My body refused to cooperate. I became a food snob, went on stupid diets, worked out like a crazy person. And yet, not too much changed.

So back to this epic stomachache. I took some medication and tried to lay down so the pain would leave, because I figured it was just a dumb stomachache. But it got worse, and then I couldn't breathe. What the junk?! This was not a regular stomachache. I asked my dad for a blessing, after which I promptly threw up three times. Awesome. I figured that would be all. Just to be safe, I called in sick the next day. For the next few days I didn't eat much besides saltines, applesauce, apple juice. Just fyi, saltines aren't food. They are simply the color beige plus a little salt on top. Not. Food. So of course I was starving, but everything else made my stomach hurt like hades.

On Friday morning, I was at work for one hour and started to feel pukey again. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that toast!" Word to my homefries: if a piece of toast is upsetting your stomach, you've got problems.  I couldn't sit without being in excruciating pain. Guess what, I sit all day long at work. So I decided to go home yet again and see if I could sleep it off. The pain steadily got worse. We went to urgent care, and the doctor there said I wasn't showing any "classic symptoms" for any one thing. Earlier in the week I had googled my symptoms and had a hunch it was something to do with my gall bladder. He told me it might be that but my blood test wouldn't come back 'til Monday. I took some more medicine and went to sleep. Then when I woke up I did a really dumb thing and ate some food, which induced yet another painful episode.

Cue some more throwing up, more pain, and prayers that it would just be over. When the doctor asks you what your pain is on a scale from 1-10, and you say "ten," that's a sign...to go to the hospital. I didn't know this. I thought I could endure it, but Saturday was the straw that broke this redheaded camel's back (whoa, weird image, am I right?). When I got to the E.R., I was in a weird state. I was in so much pain that it was almost like an out of body experience...I can't really explain it, but I knew I was in trouble. They asked me my pain level, and I think I mumbled "eight," but I didn't want them panicking on me. Hello, McFrenzy, this is the E.R. People get paid to go into panic mode here. Again, the pain was distorting everything.

I remember them putting me on a hospital bed and sticking me with an I.V. Usually I don't like getting poked with needles but by this point it felt like I was getting hugged by a Care Bear compared to the pain in my stomach. Then the most glorious thing ever happened! They gave me pain medication (apparently ten times stronger than morphine, boo-ya). I don't condone drugs, people, but after the pain I'd experienced, it was celestial. Ok, maybe I shouldn't compare pain medication to the celestial kingdom...but GUYS. I will always remember that moment when the pain went away. I know I did embarrassing things and I know I was reduced to a cavewoman (in terms of my speech), but I couldn't feel the pain anymore! YESSS!

For the next few days, I sat in my hospital bed and waited patiently for the doctor to say they would take out my gall bladder, which they did! On Monday morning they told me I was going in for surgery. The last thing I remember was them saying, "Okay, we're going to give you some Valium first..." which made me dizzy, but not totally asleep, and then they said, "We're putting this oxygen mask on your face, okay?" BAM. Lights out.

Other things to note: hospital gowns are never, ever flattering on anybody; chicken broth can be the best meal in the world when you haven't eaten for three days; popsicles are great for sore throats; the cooking channel and the food network are sadistic things to watch when you can't eat anything; you shouldn't invite your friends to come visit you because they'll laugh at everything you do (drugs=bad); if you start to feel any pain the nurse will inject you with that 10x stronger than morphine stuff (drugs=good); scars can be cool; people are actually very good; Priesthood blessings are the bee's knees; God really does answer your prayers but it's His timing that counts; showering with an I.V. is awkward; drugs make your dreams even more psycho; remote-controlled beds are overrated; fireworks are only fun if you can see them, otherwise they are really scary; getting an ultrasound when you're heavily medicated is like being in the Willy Wonka movie from the 60's.

Thus concludes the life of my crazy gall bladder. May you rest in peace.

in my bed, eating saltines

Has a sadder blog title ever been penned? I feel like a slug, therefore, I am. Some people think spending all day in your jammies is fun. But I dislike it. I feel all grodie and un-put-together and...well, sluggish. I think something's wrong with my gall bladder. TMI? Welp, you came to this blog knowing what I titled this post, so, sha-bam.

Here's that huge-mongo post I've been thinking about forever. And now, in the order I "previewed" each item....(drumroll please)

I'm skipping #1 for now because it needs a blog post all its own. NEXT!

#2: I haven't puked today. Yet.

#3: Recently I have discovered the beauty of Amazon MP3's. For real, why did I ever buy anything from iTunes? Did you know that some of the best albums ever made are 3 dollars on Amazon.com? DID YOU?! Okay, well, I just want you guys to know that I now have The Black Keys, Passion Pit, 2 Shins albums, Death Cab for Cutie, and a Bon Iver EP--and I spent 12 bucks on all that music. That's six albums, btw. Run along to amazon.com now.

Oh, and here's some music you should listen to right now. Kaitlyn and Scotty, this is for youuu!

Feist//The Circle Married the Line

Cake//Love You Madly

Grouplove//Tongue Tied

Bloc Party//Plans

Gotye//Eyes Wide Open

Dove//Sky Starts Falling

Radiohead//Gagging Order

oops..I got carried away again. Always happens with music. Doink!

#4: So here's the lowdown on my life. I got a jobbity-job. What? Anywho, I work in a sort-of call center. I say "sort of" because I'm on the phone but it's not a sales job or anything. People call me and I help them qualify for disability because they got rejected. And usually they give me their life story, and 110% of the time it's really sad and it makes me ten times more grateful. I feel like I have nothing to complain about now. Also, now I have moolah. Which means I can go to South America next year (CAN I GET AN AMEN). And I can actually buy some of that stuff on my stylin' pinboard. However, I shant forget Michael Scott's wise words on the subject:

Oh yeah...and after much thought, I decided not to move to Provorem this fall. I'll save some money (South America/Europe/grad school). And I won't hafta move! Moving is to me as Satan is to God. Was that sacrilege? Welp, I hate it.

#5: So during lunch I go outside and lay in the grass and eat and read a book. And I'm trying to squeeze in some more freckles before the summer ends, but I'm also technically not allowed in the sun for very long. Boo. I need someone to invent spray-on freckles.

#6: Some pictures for your enjoyment. Okay, let's face it, they're for me to stare at (because I'm the only one who read this blog anymore). And for Tori. :)

I dunno who this is and I don't even care. 

Hiddles

For Tessa. An early wedding present. 

#7: A couple of weeks ago I was meandering over on this blog (everyone meanders on this blog, so I'm not being original here). And she was having an AWESOME giveaway, which I did not win, but now I can probably most likely save money for one of these babies:

eeeeeeeeeek. If you see me cruising on this thang on one of my midnight bike rides, again, do not hit me, because I'll cry if you mess up my bike. Mess up my head, whatever. But not the bike!

#8: Ikey gets home from college this week, and he'll bring his car with him. The first adventure I will take this car on....this concert festival right hurrr. Come play with me if you want. Oh yeah, and the reason I get his car is because he's getting married. To Anna!

They're pretty cool together. August 4th, 2012, kiddos.

#9: Left to do on this summah to-do list: hike Timp, learn those songs on the geetar (slackerface), climb a tree, scera shell outdoor movie, finish the Book of Mormon (almost done!), and read a huge book. I kinda wanna scratch that last one because Anna Karenina is super hard to follow. In the meantime, I've read like 10 not-huge books. 

#10: And with that list being done-did, summer is ending. Usually this makes me kind of sad, but when I say "usually," I mean "not really," because  fall time is the best time. You all know it's true. First of all, pumpkin. Second of all, scarves/boots/orange sunsets/Halloween. Third of all, pumpkin. 

Yay for Fall! (also, CB Scent is getting home in October. Best timing ever.)

this is a preview because my stomach hurts

I was going to write a legitimate post today, guys. Honest. It was going to be the ultimate catch-up post, since, ya know, haven't really been writing on this thing for awhile (*cough* understatement). ANYway. Since I just puked two times (no, seriously) and I wanted you guys to know I had a legit excuse for not writing today, that's why this post exists.

Completely random and pointless. Here's what you can expect next time (no puke, I promise):

1. a bachelorette recap because why not

2. okay, so maybe I'll follow that last one up with puking

3. some music I've been jamming to lately

4. my life in general (minus the puking)

5. freckles and sun burns

6. men with facial hair, because again, WHY NOT

7. this bike I really want and can now pine for within reason

8. in one week I'll have a car. car= ..... (this is the preview part, meaning you'll hafta come back next time to find out what the ominous dots mean)

9. the rest o' my summer plans

10. fall and why I'm excited for fall and why everyone should always be excited for fall (duh, because it's fall)

since I feel weird just writing text....here's a video. which I also posted on facespace. now if you'll excuse me, I feel pukish. sorry. 

basically, I'm going crazy and other stuff

Sometimes the only cure for this insanity is to take my bike to far-off places (aka Cedar Hills) with my music turned all the way up. Usually it's Bon Iver (aka sad music). My life.

Other cures for life not going the way you want it to:

• Go to the temple. Even if you can only do baptisms, like myself, which in the Timpanogos Temple takes exactly 20 minutes, stay in the temple for as long as possible. Bring a talk with you and read it. Preferably this one, or this one or this one. 
• Pray really hard, and pray a lot. Don't just talk at Heavenly Father. Leave some kneel prints in your carpet! If you know what I'm saying. 
• Throw grammar out the window when writing blog posts such as these. JK. Honestly I'm just trying to excuse my terrible grammar right now. Thanks for understanding.
• Go running. I understand some of you are runnin-haterz, which is okay (oh my gash I just said "haterz." Why.)....but that's probably because you have only given running a shot like a couple of times. Meaning your body hated you while you were doing it, am I right? Therefore, you should keep doing it until your body adjusts, and then trust me, your body will love you. You will feel as "high as kite" (my mom would say that).
• Let your sister try to tickle you even though you aren't ticklish anymore (?!). But whatever you do, do not let her check your ears for wax, even though that's her favorite pastime nowadays, because dude. It hurts when little kid fingers start digging in there. Ow.
• Try not to think too hard about every little thing that isn't happening the way you want. Honestly, you can't control most of it, so why bother. Just let God do that part. Do what you know you're supposed to and bam, it will seriously be okay. 
• Learn something new. Like how to play an F chord on the guitar (fklafjdsajfd;akfd;asf;akjfdsa;)
• Go to used bookstores and smell all the old books you pick up, so they will knock off 50 cents at the register because "you're a regular" (wink wink). I knew sniffing books would get me far in life someday.
• Eat some dark chocolate...in copious amounts if possible. I just said copious...fyi. 

it's a brain barf

her face=how i feel about spray tans

"I thought it would be cool to have dinner in a prison...because love really does take no prisoners." (a la the bachelorette) I don't think you even know what you are saying. Like, why. I'm pretty sure that girl has never seen Prison Break, because if she had, she would've never thought dinner could be romantic in such a place.

I slept for 10 hours last night (ha!) and I'm feelin' a nap coming on right now. Something's wrong with my body clock. I'm giving you zz's so leave me alone!!!

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in this country and maybe in this hemisphere that has never listened to a One Direction song, and I never will. The end, amen.

I've been wanting to watch Clueless for six months now. I don't even know.

Everything I planned for in my future went to pot...everything. So, now I am looking for another job and/or a way out of the country in case that doesn't work out. China? Maybe so, maybe so. My life! *facepalm* times ten

I've been looking at guitar straps foreverz on Etsy and all of them are like sixty buckaroos. You do realize that it's basically a belt, right? Why are you charging so much moolah for a belt?! I can't even.

Also, I'm having trouble completing my sentences. Not sure if this is a symptom of graduating from college, but...there are half-sentences scattered all over this post.

Teaching yourself an instrument is so haaaaaaaaaaard. I spent 20 minutes trying to understand tabs. Which shouldn't take that long but I'm used to reading sheet music. Therefore, tabs are like learning another language to me.

I'm hungry. Brb, gonna go get a snack.

Guess which snack I got. Old popcorn. Do you know how tasty old popcorn is on a scale from one to pumpkin? Like a negative five. That's how hungry I am.

I found another blog dedicated to scruffiness and it basically ruined my life. I realized that the last 3.5 years of my life were severely scruff-deprived, which is okay because I understand the reasoning behind it. However, now I can be around scruff again, and that is a very good thing. If you are confused, here. Sha-bam.

Also, sometimes I eat old old maids. What is wrong with me?!

A bunch of people told me John Carter was good, including my movie-expert parents, whose opinion I trust, and then I saw it and was utterly con-fuzled. It's a good thing my friend Hayden was there to explain what was happening because you GUYS. It was the most facepalming movie ever of all time. Maybe it was just late at night and I was enhungered. Salty movie popcorn does nothing for my hungry tummy most of the time (aka basically always).

Also, the main girl in it was wearing probably a roll of toilet paper during the entire thing. Observe:

Nevermind, it was more like half of a roll of toilet paper. The point is, I could not take her seriously in that "outfit."

Me and Hill decided we would go up the canyon randomly after Institute, just because it's a canyon and it's closeby and why not. Well we couldn't find any decent trails, it was getting dark, we had no fire, no s'mores, and no boy scouts with us, so we went to Orange Leaf in the end. Ha! So much for spontaneity.

Today I realized there are only three days out of every week that I really like. Saturday=Costco samples. Sunday=duh, always awesome. Tuesday=soccer. And that is basically my life these days. Oh and looking at scruff blogs. What?

I'm gonna go find some employment now. Bye.

yes, that is a marf he is wearing.


"I'm gonna be the best dang woman I can be."
word to the bachelorette: marry him.

reasons I'm learning to play guitar

because he's not on this blog enough

So, I have been begging my parents for a guitar since I was 15. Every Christmas it was the same, and to be honest, I started to do it just for laughs. I randomly put it on my Christmas list this past year as a joke. Seriously, I did not expect to see a guitar sitting by our tree on December 25th, but see one I did. I started to laugh, which apparently is something I do when I don't think someone is being serious. I start to giggle. It's nicer than saying "yeah, right." p.s. thanks parents for that, it's still one of the best presents ever of all time.

It would've been saweet to take a guitar class for free at BYU-I, especially since I had one semester left, but I wasn't allowed to take anymore classes (dumb credit holds..haha). So I enlisted my friend Dan-o to teach me the basics. After graduation, I bought a nifty book and have been practicing a little. But sometimes (read: almost always) learning an instrument is hard. I know, because I've been playing piano since age 8 and I still do not understand all the wonderfulness of that instrument.

Also, learning a instrument is frustrating because you want to be able to play awesome tuneage right now, and stop playing basic stuff like "O Susanna" and "Buffalo Gal." So sometimes the best thing to do when you are learning something new and kind of sucking at it, is to get inspired by people who do it well.

Here's some music that's been helping me remember why I'm teaching myself the geetar. Listen to it if you want to be super happy and stuff. And if you don't want that...um, can't help you much. You've come to the wrong blog, ma friend.

Keep Your Head Up (Acoustic)-Ben Howard

on a bridge...so yes, double-awesome

Love Song for a Lover of Long Ago-Justin Vernon

lead singer of bon iver, so duh I'm gonna like it. and duh, you should too.

Comfort Me-Feist

The Bitter End-Blind Pilot

sooooooooooooooooo good

Light Year-Gregory Alan Isakov

(p.s. dad, you should listen to more of this guy's stuff. the end, amen.)

New Hampshire-Matt Pond PA

Falling Through the Roof-Horse Feathers

I Won't Cry!-My Morning Jacket

Waiting...-City and the Colour

time to confess

please see #10

1) the other night I watched...oh gash....I watched the bachelorette, okay! and it was terrible and I was half-laughing, half-groaning at the dumbness of it all. promise to never watch it again. I'd like to keep the IQ points I have left, thanks.

2) I spent my whole day with a hot pad. Classy.

3) Every time summer arrives, I realize that most of the t-shirts I possess are from D.I. this needs to change.

4) I'm craving JCW's so bad it hurts. It actually is hurting my stomach to think of it. Because I know as soon as I eat it I'm gonna feel worse. But still...I want that cheeseburger. Come hither, greasy food. I dunno what I just said either.

5) I go on midnight bike rides...barefoot. If you see me, say hello. But don't run over me, k?

6) I'm reallllllllllllllly excited for the Olympics, guys. Not even joking, it's like my favorite thing to watch every four years. fjdsklfjafjdsl;afjl;sajf;sajfd All of these commercials on NBC aren't helping.

7) I think I listened to this song ten times today.

8) I almost dislocated my index finger trying to play the F chord on guitar. Teaching yourself an instrument is no joke. I also have a zig-zag tan, messy hair, and I daydream about living in a cabin in the woods. #hippieinthemaking

9) I cut my hair in April. It grew an inch since then. AN INCH. I know, some of you out there wish your hair grew this fast. But for reals, my hair does not stay short for very long. p.s. I take fish oils.

10) I just found this blog today.
out loud reaction: noooooooooooooooooooooooo
in my head reaction: yesyesyesyesyes!!!!!!!

In other words, you're welcome.

le brain barf

does anyone else feel weird about the new Anne Hathaway?

I just watched the trailer for Les Miserables, p.s. didn't even know that movie existed until now. Also, not sure how I feel about Anne Hathaway singing. I just...yeah. And she's Catwoman? I'm confused on a number of levels.

I need a real job after EFY. I've decided Costco will suffice. Somebody hook me up with them asap. For reals. Can you imagine living in sample heaven 40 hours a week? Ha...okay. But seriously. I need a real job.

Another thing I need: a place to live in Provorem. Everyone has a different opinion about where to live there. Ack! It's too much information. Also, there are way too many places to live. How am I supposed to narrow it down? Gee willicker's. Did you know that is also the name of a restaurant in Eugene, Oregon? But I think they turned it into a pub or something....

Trying to find yellow, semi-cheap, cute, oh and did I mention yellow shoes, is really difficult. All in the name of love.

It's sad that I spent a lot of my day doing that aforementioned activity. But I also read The Kite Runner, which I haven't done in years. Ah! All the emotions! I just cannot...I literally cannot.

I finally got reunited with my bff Lizzy. In Disneyland. What? Yeah, best reunion ever. The only problem was it was a little too short for my liking.

I have learned the return date for Hermana Chelsea Ann Bedke. It is October 9th. You can bet I will be at the SLC airport on that day with a huge embarrassing sign and a Snickers bar. Ready to make a scene.

I'm homesick for Rexburg. It has finally hit me. Oh dear.

I think Instagram is taking over the internet. I don't know how I feel about it...I mean, it's cool and everything. But I think maybe we rely on technology too much to make connections. I like the good old-fashioned, face-to-face stuff. Getting off my soapbox now.

The worst part of a sunburn is the peeling phase. Although I can't really complain about this burn. Because a year ago, I was recovering from the worst sunburn of all time. The tanlines from that particular burn didn't fade for six months. Six months. Sunblock: not just for decoration.

That didn't make sense. I just wanted to use that line from The Santa Claus. I don't know either.

Okay so, let's recap: Anne Hathaway is singing now and I think this is kind of weird, I need a real job, preferably at Costco, I need a place to live, I need yellow shoes and it's taking over my life and it shouldn't be taking over my life even though my life is pretty unexciting right now, except for last week when we went to Disneyland and I saw Lizzy again and her hubs Mark, I'm tackling Chelsea with love when she gets off the plane in October, I kind of miss Rexburg, I don't have a smartphone so maybe that's why I think Instagram is overrated sometimes, I'm peeling like a snake, and I have random lines from The Santa Clause stuck in my head.

Sounds like a brain barf to me.

me, blog? what now?

SUMMAH TO-DOS

listen to more bright eyes, passion pit, and bon iver

hike timp, f'realz

write a letter and throw it into the ocean, in a bottle(!)... or be brave and send it

go to disneyland/party with magical characters

learn 5 songs on the guitar

stargaze legitimately (with a blankie and everything, in a wide open space that is not my backyard which is right next to a busy road which ruins the ambiance)

eat more tacos

play soccer

get more freckles (this is already coming to pass)

run some mo'

climb a tree

go see at least one movie at the scera shell (outside)

go camping up the canyon by ma house

swim in a pool

eat lots of fro-yo (to balance out the running of course)

finish the Book of Mormon!

read a huge book (I started Anna Karenina and oh my gash...I finished 3 other books while I was attempting to read it. Tolstoy is no joke.)

prepare myself mentally for Chelsea Ann Bedke's homecoming in the fall. ACK.

spontaneous DP's wherever I go (dance parties, duh)

bike rides up the heezy

okay, so who wants to join in this mischevious random fun? anybody is welcome to come. except mosquitoes, they are definitely not invited.

faith is ten million times better than fear. and ironically, ten times scarier.

"Do one thing every day that scares you."

"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"

"The real world doesn't start after graduation, or marriage. You've been living in the real world your whole life. So go live in it."

All of this and more has been turning and turning on the turntable of my brain lately. And at night, it gets even more constant, because I write in my journal and then all these other thoughts creep in. Thoughts that start with a little somethin-somethin we're all famliar with: what if? What if I took a risk today? What if I did something totally out of character, but totally awesome at the same time? What if?!! What amazing things would be set in motion if I dared to dive in, instead of just dipping in my toes?

Lately I've been upping my scripture study significantly. It's made a world of difference. I'd highly recommend it. Anyway, I was reading in Alma, when all those Lamanites start to be converted because of the sons of Mosiah (who, if you will recall, were "the vilest of sinners." The Atonement is realer than real.). As I was reading, I noticed a note in the margins that said this: "Fear distorts things, while faith makes things clear."

Did you get that? I read it three more times. Fear distorts the truth. It muddles the truth about who we really are, and what we can really do, and that is exactly why Satan loves to use it. He knows that as long as we don't understand who we really are, we don't rise up and be great (which we're all destined to be, by the way). God, on the other hand, uses faith. Faith gets things done. Faith moves us to do awesome things-- things that might scare us at first, but end up being the best things ever.

Often this involves taking risks. Going to BYU-Idaho was a risk. I'd never before in my life set foot in Rexburg. I had only decided to attend the school about three months before I went. But I did, and as you all know (those who have been reading this for awhile), it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

The same goes for Mexico. The entire time I was preparing to go to Mexico, it was kinda like an out of body experience. I kept saying to myself, "McKenzie, is that you?" I would have never done such a thing, moved to another country for three months, to teach? Me?! Ha! But I did, and it was an experience which one or two words could not sufficiently describe. God knew I could do it, and He was trying to coax the better me out of hiding. He was trying to get Kenzie 2.0 to act in faith, instead of the Kenzie 1.0 who doesn't take any risks.

So friends, what are you going to do today that your best self  would do? The upgraded, really sweet version with all of the apps you could possibly imagine. What are you going to do that scares the pants off of you but will end up affecting your life in indescribably awesome ways?

What are you waiting for?! Go do it!

p.s. i briefly reactivated my facespace because i just really wanted this post to be seen.