Saturday, March 26, 2011

what if

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reminds me of this song

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i know someone who looks like that. mm-hmm.

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what i desire for breakfast

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utah. soon, in the flesh.

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daydreaming.

what if...I started packing a few days ago to clean up the clutter in my room. and what if i started packing because i'm kind of excited to go home?

what if...I saw that "unknown" movie (liam neeson kicking trash again) last night and it wasn't near as amazing as the first subway sandwich i've had in 3 months?

what if...I miss my parents more than I can even say. That was cheesy, but I don't care about being cheesy anymore like I did when I was 18.

what if...I see pictures of myself when I was 18 and I wish I still looked like that. And what if I have to start working out extra hard again to deal with the aftermath of Mexico? Do you know what I mean by aftermath? Heheh.

what if...I am counting down the days 'til I go home but I also don't know exactly when that will be right now.

what if...I can't decide whether to keep my hair long or chop it off again.

what if...I read my friend Jessica's mission blog and think about going on a mission. Again.

what if...I wish that Chelsea was going to be back in Rexburg when I return.

what if...I'm secretly scared to speak Spanish with native speakers and that's probably why my Spanish-speaking skills aren't as good as they could be.

what if...I'm tired of having cereal every day for breakfast (to everyone who knows me this is huge).

what if...I can't go to bed with dirty feet, without brushing my teeth, or without my iPod in my ears (that last one is just a Mexico thing because I have a night-owl roommate).

what if...I am so excited for General Conference and I wish it was more than twice a year. And what if I miss watching it with my family.

what if...I am stoked to live in Rexburg again with my bro, my friend Amy who is moving closer to me, and my new hammock. Ahh, new hammock.

what if....I like receiving letters and getting one yesterday was the best surprise of the month.

what if...I miss waking up to the sound of my mom on the telephone. It's such an interesting thing to wake up to, but I miss it.

what if...I miss talking on the telephone.

what if...going to the mall here in tehuacan made me feel like I was in Orem, and then, upon stepping outside of it, I said out loud to myself, "Oh, back in Mexico."

what if....I prefer blog-stalking over facebook-stalking. And what if I want to delete my facebook account? I think the world will keep on spinning if I do.

what if...I leave half of my clothes here in Mexico because 1, I don't have luggage space for them, 2, they are falling apart anyway, and 3, I have a goal to revamp my wardrobe style and I'm going to accomplish it. No more graphic t-shirts, boring flats, and lifeless skirts. I have a style, I just need to wear it.

what if...I can't wait to cook for myself again. Or have my mom cook for me, be it for a week or 3 days. sigh.

what if...I sometimes wish I was a millionaire so I didn't worry as much as I do. Then again, I would probably find something else to worry about if I was one. I take it back.

what if...I think about going back to my childhood all the time.

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

3 comments:

A.E. said...

of course extremely loud and incredibly close!
i love this, and don't have any fears because rexburg will be so divine. sometimes i feel like going on a mission is after me too and it scares me! do you know how many good things we are going to eat when you get here? and also, how we are going to be gym buddies? and i hate running but maybe you will motivate me. and there will be lots of hours in the library and i hope you don't mind that i'm planning your life-

italiamarie said...

sounds like Mexico isn't doing it..lol

Ging said...

I like it. What if's are a good thing. I can tell you have learned and earned from Mexico. Drink it all in for two more weeks. Drink until you are drunk with Mexico. I like the mission idea...