Monday, March 28, 2011

thought process

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contemplation is a favorite word of mine. and currently that's what i'm experiencing: lots of contemplation. lots of thinking about mexico, and leaving mexico in 12 days.

today i thought about what i'll be doing on the plane. probably crying.

i also told my kids i had two weeks left with them, so they'd better listen. to some, it wasn't so much a threat as a reason to celebrate.

but others said, "ohhh teacher...you're going to return, right?" i wish they wouldn't do that sometimes. i just can't stand the thought of leaving them.

and then there's the teachers. yesterday i spent all day with kaitlyn and her family (her entire family, which translates to a lot of mexicans). i felt like i was at one of my own family reunions. it was a surreal feeling. i had to remind myself that i was in mexico; but i have to do that a lot.

i have grown to love this place more than i thought i would.

i have become a different person, but i think i'm still the same kenzie. just with more pieces to my puzzle. make sense? and those pieces will always belong to mexico.

last night i made a list of all the things i'm going to do in the next 12 days.
it's pretty small.
mostly it says to be patient with my students, teach them all i can, and then somehow tell them goodbye, in my regular, kenzie fashion.

what i really wish i could do is take all my favorites back with me and then we could all live on the same street together. and i would see them on the weekends, and we'd play soccer together, and eat pizza, and i would teach them funny phrases in english.

and the teachers, we would be best friends for the rest of our lives.
today i told my friend/fellow teacher sara that it doesn't feel right to me that we're all leaving now. i said, "it's like we were a band, and now we're breaking up...and it's just not right."

i just want the music to keep playing.

and to never end.


yep, this song was on the "bucket list." it's not my fault there's coincidences all over the place.

5 comments:

Terri said...

Oh Kenny! Leave with no shadows in your head. What a wonderful post. You do have more pieces of the puzzle and the heart just keeps enriching the soul. Hug them tight.

Ging said...

Sweet Kenz- You did it with your heart wide open. Such miraculously huge thoughts come from little old you. I am so glad that you are mine and that Mexico is yours. Kleenex time.

Word verification: crizes

Ging said...

P.S. That top photo is awesome. I like the ones with you in them the best

sleye1 said...

My dude - falling in love is no fun. Whomever says otherwise is lying to you.

Perhaps my favorite Boyd K. Packer quote of all time is this: "Nothing good is ever lost."

Hold on tight to that as you say "see you later" to so many good people and places - they'll always be yours.

JP Anderson said...

Leaving a place you've grown to love can be one if the hardest things to do. Burley, Chile, Hawaii....these places come to mind for me. But they all create "happy places" now, that I can visit. Even if it's just in my head. You'll be forever remembered and missed I'm sure.