favorite music of 2011. none of which came from the radio.

Those of you who know me, I mean really know me, know that I am pretty puffed up about my taste in music. Yes, I will admit to that. I have met very few people who have the same (awesome) taste in music that I do. Here, I'll prove it to you. I will give you a sampling of my favorite songs which I discovered this year. If you like just one of them, I will arrest my case.

Shadowland-Youth Group

this song came from a mix which a friend of mine made, someone who happens to have near-identical music as I do. p.s. that was a very strangely worded sentence. my bad.

Calgary-Bon Iver

I don't even care that I have already posted this song on every possible social network site. LISTEN TO IT.

Mykonos-Fleet Foxes

Cool name? Check. Bearded men who also wear plaid? Check check.

Hipster music at its finest.

Little Secrets (Passion Pit Cover)-Chamberlin

The original of this song is good, but duuude. DUDE. Just listen to this version.

Wide Eyes-Local Natives

Once you start listening to Local Natives, you literally cannot stop.

The Girl-City and the Colour

Yeah, this song speaks for itself.

Shiny on the Inside-Leona Naess

As soon as I heard this song, I thought to myself, "Where have you been on my life?"

In the Mirror-Nada Surf

Before this song, I always associated Nada Surf with American Eagle because they used to always blare it from their speakers. But it's been awhile since I regularly shopped there. So I can now listen to Nada Surf with a clear conscience. Ha.

Kim and Jessie-M83

This song sounds like it came straight from the 1980's. Oh well, it's still good.

Oh No, I Tried-Right Away, Great Captain!

I can't help it if a lot of these bands have men with really beardy-beards. And kind of weird, kind of awesome band names.

The High Road-Broken Bells

Oh man, I just love this song so much. It's like a mix of The Shins and Sea Wolf. Or something. It's ok if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Helena Beat-Foster the People

Yeah, I know. Everybody knows who FTP are because of "Pumped Up Kicks," but their other songs are pretty good too. P.S this is the weirdest music video I have ever laid eyes on. And I have seen some of MGMT's. That's saying something.

No Sunlight-Death Cab for Cutie

It takes me awhile to get around to some of my favorite bands' newer stuff. It's just because their older albums are so good, I can't break away. Well it's a good thing I did, because I really love this song. And album. Word.

Good Morning-Rogue Wave

I've been listening to this here band since I was in braces. So...awhile. Anyway. I like to air-drum to this song regularly.

Hold On to What You Believe-Mumford and Sons

For some reason I cannot find this song on Amazon or iTunes. Sniffle. I'm not going to go on about how much I love Mumford & Sons. Just do your ears a favor and turn it up.

Angel in the Snow-Elliot Smith

I wouldn't mind if Elliot Smith lullabyed me to sleep every night.

Storm-Jose Gonzalez

If songs could be onomatopoeias, then this song would be one. Ya dig?

Cover of Night-Steve Reynolds

Every time this comes onto my Pandora, I go to "like" it but I've already done so about fifty times.

Cosmic Love-Florence and the Machine

For once, a song that deserves to be on the radio a jillion times a day!

Heart it Races-Dr. Dog

I might love this song just because the name of it sounds like something Yoda would say. Yeah....moving on.

Arms-Seabear

First of all...a band named Seabear? Get on my iPod. Riiiigh now.

Santogold-L.E.S. Artistes

I'm still not sure if her name is Santigold or Santogold.

Rude to Rile-Horse Feathers

After Nickel Creek broke up, I didn't think I'd ever find another guy-guy-girl band that would live up to them. But luckily I was wrong!

Opie's Funeral Song-Sufjan Song

Apparently this song is "rare," meaning hard to find. But to me, it is also rare in that there are few songs as good as this one. Sha-bam.

Train Song-Feist and Benjamin Gibbard

This song makes me want to be snuggled up by a fireplace on a rainy day. But that's just me.

Two Weeks-Grizzly Bear

This music video scares me so bad. Mostly because their eyes are hugemongus. And I thought they were real the first time I saw it. So freaky...and yet I couldn't look away.

Papercuts-Future Primitive

I find myself head-bobbing to this song without even realizing it.

Weight of Lies-The Avett Brothers

I would very much like to learn this song on my new geetar.

Countdown-Phoenix

Because of Phoenix, I got through the last 4 miles of my leg of the Ragnar.

Light Year-Gregory Alan Isakov

There's not one of his songs that I don't love. Plus, this song is how I got the name for my tumblr. Nifty, eh?

Our Swords-Band of Horses

Once again with the bearded individuals. Sorry.

I think I've given you enough music to make yourself a CD.

Happy New Year!

may you find plenty of stupendous music in 2012.

where i'm going, where i've been

We're coming up on that time of year...the one where I start making long lists of things ter-do. Today I was telling a friend that I may or may not be at a very important event in her life sometime in 2012. But it's hard to tell because my life takes me to very unexpected places. And she said "that's incredibly true." Yeah. See for yourself.

tehuacan, mexico.

an oft-used storage closet (for once the name "sardines" is appropriate for this game)

trees in the jungle. barefoot.

six flags...mexico...rollercoasters. psyche.

very slanted alleyways in taxco, mexico. it's like italy (ish).

on top of very famous, very old pyramids. obviously enthralled.

inside of very scary, very ghetto "hotel rooms," underground, on the outskirts of mexico city.

inside of classrooms, teaching hooligans like this.

the zocalo.

in front of interesting foods, like mole.

this little house for 3 months.

behind the church, playing futbol every thursday.

in a boat, by the beach somewhere in mexico, with some crocodiles nearby.

the rigby idaho tv museum. what? we paid for this?

the very last Harry Potter premiere. sniffle.

the ragnar.

still can't believe i did that.

the taco bus, some five jillion times. (ok, this isn't that surprising)

some lovely summery bike rides.

and other pretty places in Utah which are kind of hidden.

Do you remember how I had a feeling that 2011 was going to be really awesome? Well, it was. And I know the same thing about 2012. I'm already seeing some interesting stuff in my crystal ball...

• florence+the machine. I'm late to this party, but I came nonetheless.
• graduate school, huh?
• EFY counselor, perhaps, perhaps
• many weddings, many weddings
• south america por la primera vez. ohhh yeah.
• graduation-station!
• new music! aha! this will never change
• a concert. dang right
• an adventure to Zion's
• missionaries coming home (a.k.a. Chelsea Ann Bedke and Courtney Gopp)
• mucho happiness

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR, FRIENDS!

thanks for all who read this blog, stumble upon it by googling very weird things, and those who comment. I love all of you. Except for the creepstaches.

something like exhaustion...

So I finished my last final today of 2011...I would cry tears of joy, but I think my tear ducts have had about enough this semester.

It's been a good, hard race. Kind of like the Ragnar. Yeah...that's the perfect analogy for this semester. During the race you keep thinking, "Why the heeeeck am I doing this? I would rather pluck all of my arm hairs off." And then it's over and you find yourself thinking, "Yeah, I could do that again. Why not? Here's a hundred bucks!"

I can only imagine what next semester will be like. Probably Ragnar, ultra-team style. Gulp.

This semester, I learned how much God is aware of me. Meaning that I really don't have anything to worry about. Seriously, nothing. And the peaceful feeling that comes with that has been hard to get used to, but very nice. I enjoy it. And it usually ends well!

For instance, yesterday morning I got up before most woodland creatures do to study for my huge-mongo Spanish final. When I walked into class to take said final, most of the boys looked like they were on the verge of pukedom. One of my friends said, "McKenzie...can you give me a blessing? I'm going to puke..." I laughed and said, "Nope...I can't. But it's going to be okay." Seriously, though. Even the redheads looked pale(r). It was going to be an epic final.

I tried to be positive (and yes, unrealistic, but that's not the point!): "Maybe he'll walk in and say, 'Merry Christmas! No final!'" We laughed nervously, and then, Hermano Rock himself walked in. He asked us about our essays that we'd turned in, made playful banter, etc. I kept thinking, "Why doesn't he get it over with and give us the final?!" It's like waiting for the nurse to give you your shot. You know, she says "Ok, here we go!" and you squeeze your eyes and try to take deep breaths and the needle is coming towards your arm but it's hurtling in slow-motion... "Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis wooooooooooon't huuuuuuuuuuuuurt." Anyways. I was pretty sure the Spanish test was going to feel like a peanut butter shot. So I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

Then. Then. Hermano Rock said, "Well, if you don't have anything else you want to discuss for the next hour and a half, you're excused." He said this in Spanish of course, so I had to check and make sure I wasn't lost in translation. I turned to the boys behind me and said, "Wait...serious?" One of them said, "Hurry, pack your stuff up before he changes his mind!" Hermano Rock will forever go down as the best Spanish professor in my book. Evah. No contest.

After that I had English. Our "final" was just submitting something we'd written onto the school's online blackboard and then the other class would judge, pick winners, etc. There were winners in Fiction, Non-Fiction, and Poetry. Apparently they also won $25 bucks at the bookstore, cha-ching. Well I sat back and relaxed and ate some cucumber slices provided by the school's catering bidnez. Until Brotha B. said, "And our winner for poetry is Ponyboy Curtis..." Yeah, that's my pen name. Deal wit it. Everyone looked around while he said, "Ponyboy?" Yes, I felt foolish at that moment for choosing such a name. But honestly, I couldn't believe nobody else picked that pen name! Some guy in the class had simply used the pound sign as his pen name. Fo'real. Ok, I'm getting off-topic now. Sooo then I had to get up in front of the class and read my poem with a shaky voice because I'm kind of bad at reading poems out loud. The end.

Now all I want to do is eat a frosty (finals week=no grocery shopping=all that's in my fridge is milk and apples and flaxseed and peanut butter). And take a really long nap. I'm talkin 12 hours. And if I could, I would get in my car (that doesn't exist) right now and drive to grandma bonnie's and upon arriving there I would collapse onto any soft surface (that includes her front yard) and then in the morning I would drive to my house while having a dance party to "Man in the Mirror" in the front seat. And I wouldn't think about school. Not one bit.

the brace-face chronicles...

So you know how I sometimes post little excerpts from my journals? Well, I decided to show you guys a little somethin-somethin special. Call it an early Christmas present, from me to you. But if you are prone to laughter, please use the bathroom first. Thank you.

And now, we go back in time....to the year of Y2K, Xenon Girl of the 21st Century, and braces. That's right. 2000. And some 2001, too. I decided not to edit anything, because, well, it wouldn't be near as funny if I did. However, I did add some commentary in the little brackets. Oh, and sorry for all the exclamation points and big letters. Can't blame a 10-year old girl for being a little enthusiastic about life.

January 1st, 2000

"Happy Birthday to me! Now, I am 10 years old! Mom and Dad keep telling me to STOP growing up. I know they are just joking. Ha ha! But kids can't stay like Peter Pan forever! At least not me! I got a lot of neat stuff. A fairy doll, a doll playset, a book, bracelets, a necklace, a cd headphone player [what the junk was I talking about?!], a doll that looks JUST like me, pants, a dress, WAIT! That's all I can remember. [What, did I just experience sudden head trauma?] Crazy huh? [You're telling me.] But the Chronicles of Narnia is only 1 more I can remember. Bye!"

January 26!

One more day 'til the talent show! [just fyi, almost this entire journal revolves around the talent show. I'm not sure why now.] Sorry, I haven't written for a long time. Today I play my violin concert at 7:00pm tonight! We (my class) are singing two songs in the Talent Show called Dr. King & Lewy Lewy [back then I was a phonetic speller, okay?].

February 13!

Oh man! I haven't written Forever! Oh well. Tomorrow is actually Valentine's Day. We have gotten 3 new kids + the 21 we had before. This means I"ll be full on candy tomorrow! Today we had a substitute teacher at church. Brother Stanley. We had a lesson on the Tree of Life. I call the Tree of Life...Cauliflower! Just kidding. Well, my hand writing might be sloppy tomorrow because I'll be sick from candy.

April 14, 2001

I know. I haven't written forever. Well here is a little time machine! I was taking a writing class with my good friend Amy Mathews. We both agree to NEVER go back again. The teacher was nutty and the kids were...well let's just say scary! Abel, was definitely not able. Every time the teacher asked him to read his work, he'd say "PASS!" [Forgive me for my harshness...little kids can be real meanies.]

April 16, 2001

Nothing really happened today. Ha-Ha. Just kidding. As usual I went to violin class but a new thing: she (my mom) was the first to pick me up. Mom is usually the last to pick up--that's right--ME. Mom was on the RADIO! That is not exciting. Ha Ha again. Eh huh again. Ok I will stop being weird. I got cool writing scores. 5, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, and 4, 4, 4, 4 [*facepalm*]. You have to at least get a 4. AWESOME! I was listening to Shania Twain on the radio 3 halfs of a second ago. What's 3 halfs of a second? Shania Twain reminds me of my best friend Liz. She listens to Shania. The best thing about journals are: 1)they don't get graded. 2)They are SECRET [not on this blog...]. 3)they are like historical fiction books, which I love. 4) they do or do not tell lies [huh?].

April 17, 2001

Today was really radical! After school I went ot my BF's house [Lizzy]. 1st we went to Subway. On the way to SUB, I had too many choco-eggs and they made my mouth dry. Afterwards we helped her mom Cheryl clean the dental office by Grandma's house. Eww! I helped w/ the trash. It was dark out, so when I dumped the trash, well...DQ is right over the fence. The food pick-up is right over the fence. I swung the trash a little too far right over to where the DQ customers pick up their food. HA HA! Oops!

April 18, 2001

TALENT SHOW AUDITIONS! The auditions were great! I think I'm in. There is a lot happening at the Talent Show. Some stuff kids did was a little, well, INAPPROPRIATE. Not that I care they move their bodies in weird motions. In math, we got assigned seats! I had to sit by Chris Hardisty. YUCK! [yeah, I totally had a crush on him, fyi.]

April 26, 2001

Today we dissected owl pellets! It turns out the owl had 2 3/4 rodent dinner. We STILL haven't gotten all of the bones out of the "rotten cotton candy"!

April 28, 2001

Today Amy and I went to the movie SPY kids. Weird!!!! It has too much...high tech stuff in it [little did I know...] Afterwards off went went to Orange Julius after her MOM picked us up. It was POURING DOWN HAIL AND RAIN. Then we got back to her house and watched PRINCE OF EGYPT and ate popcorn and cookies. Amy is my other BF. Sometimes I bring extra underwear to her house because she makes me laugh SOOO hard! [I am so ashamed of this...but I had to share. I just had to.]

May 2nd, 2001

Spent the night at Amy's. I am writing this in gel pen because my ink ran out. First of all, Nichelle cheated at track again! I was ahead again, and she pushed me on the corner. She brags terribly! All the time. "My brother is the fastest on his team" "I've never gotten any checkmarks" [in 5th grade, checkmarks were akin to demerits, ok?]. OK, so Amy and I had fun. Ate pizza. She's a blast!

May 10, 2001

Leslie's play was great. On the way to WA, I read and finished the LANDRY NEWS. I've been wearing my hat all day [nothing new here] and so it feels like I have lice. Itch, scratch, itch, scratch! After the play we got Domino's & Cinnastix w/ icing. Leslie and I had to pick up pop from Subway. Michael finished 2 of the Cinnastix and opened the frosting while we left him in the car. No wonder some were missing!

finals are for wimps

Today in the midst of a zombie-eyed stupor, I thought of a brilliant, anti-finals-week post. The idea came from Sunday School...now before you all go running to a different blog, listen up. Our teacher had us raise our hands and tell her talents of others in the room. My roommate Caitlyn spoke up and told everyone that my talent was laughing. Huh? At first I was like, "Hey now, that's not exactly a talent...sometimes it gets me into trouble." Ok, I didn't say that. I didn't say anything, actually. I just laughed. JK, JK. But it got me thinking...yeah...I do laugh a lot. I fact, I probably laugh a little too much. And yet, what exactly is the "quota" of laughter for a 21-year old girl? I think it's limitless. And now, the proof.

that entire night was spent laughing. my abs looked gooood in the mornin'.

exhibit b: someone tried to take a regular photograph and I could not hold in my laughter about something. And, as you can see, when I laugh, Caitlyn laughs.

my face! I mean really.

from my younger years. I haven't changed much.

caitlyn+me=inevitable laughter.

courtney was behind the camera, and I know, I just know she said something to make me laugh. She does that!

Ahh, Sister Bedke. How can you not laugh when you're with her?

"Look, I'm manhandling a gun and I don't know how! I'll just show off all my chins instead! Ha-ha-ha!"

do I really have to explain myself here?

So maybe it's not that I laugh too much...I just surround myself with really funny people.

Yep. That's it.

pssst...all of you lurkers are wimps too for not commenting. yes, I said it.

curveballs can be fun.

eye candy.

This year has been the year of near-misses, of big fat surprises, of curveballs. My stake president once said that God loves "at-the-buzzer" moments. He loves giving us those curveballs to see what we will do--will we go back and get the plates again, even though we've tried a whole bunch of times before? Will we take that leap of faith because we know "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth"? That has been my big challenge lately (and when I say "lately," I mean the last few years that I can remember), and man has it been exciting.

We had a devotional on Tuesday which I would highly recommend reading. It was all about patience; how sometimes the Lord asks us to step away from something for awhile because it's not time for that yet--and He will reward us with it later (or something better). She also said that there will be times in our lives when we will feel like nothing is happening--but we have to keep being obedient, anyway. How many times did Nephi have to go back for the plates? Well, more than once. Just because God asked you to do it, that doesn't guarantee it will be easy. In fact, it usually means the opposite.

Remember that post I wrote at the beginning of the semester about surprises? They haven't stopped since day one. Thank goodness! Otherwise my life would be pretty dull, and I wouldn't really have anything to blog about, except for maybe peanut butter and you tube videos. Bo-ring.

Here's an itty-bitty list, to give you an idea of how good I have had to get at playing catch with God:

• deciding on a career pretty much at the last minute
• deciding on grad school, also at the last minute
• deciding on grad school at BYU, say what?! I don't know whose idea that was. Actually, I do. Not mine.
• realizing now why a lot of things in the past 3 years happened. this. is. cool. and also why you should keep a journal, yo.

The main point is, God is aware of every little detail in our lives, and whether you want to believe it or not, He's behind a lot all of the awesomeness happening to you right now. Sha-bam. Thus I conclude my slightly longwinded post and return to the land of finals week. I hope I come out of this alive.

not enough room for a gratitude list done the mcfrenzy way

You know I pretty much write a gratitude list every Monday, right? Even if it doesn't show up on this blog, those things are all over my journal. And yet I never run out of things to list. 'Tis wonderful.

1. haircuts, because sometimes your hair becomes more like a mane, and then it's just a drag. yay for scissors.
2. the amazing music I have discovered this year. the trick is to surround yourself with people that don't listen to music on the radio...and sha-bam, you will have excellent taste in music.
3. Preach My Gospel. It has become my new favorite study compadre with the scribbers.
4. fuzzy scarves, fuzzy hats, fat puffy vests and coats. i really don't mind the cold because then I get to wear layers.
5. red nail polish, it makes me feel kind of classy. and then I wear old basketball shorts to bed...
6. the night sky. all you gotta do is look up and you'll get lost.
7. autumn, for sticking around long enough for me to relish it. sometimes I wish every month was October.
8. my parents, for helping me make sense of everything that doesn't make sense in this 21-one-year old mind.
9. those funny siblings o'mine. they never cease to crack me up.
10. memories of mexico. it's nice to have good places to back to in your head and live in for awhile, even if it's just for a few minutes.
11. excitement for the future even though I have no idea what's in it.
12. everyone who has ever made me laugh, smile, or cry. you make me feel alive, and that is a good thing.

mature or immature?

I have one more sleep until I am free of this chilly place which has been autumn-less since the end of October. I've been looking at people's pictures who live in Utah and noticing how there are still leaves on the ground. I'm only a little bit peeved about that.

In other news, today I was in the library (how very original) and I started to make this list of my characteristics...because I'm conceited and stuff. Har-har. No, but really I was just trying to discern if I was mature or not. Because a lot of people tell me I'm "mature" for my age, but I don't think they really know me...

• I (usually) can't get through church meetings without laughing at some point. Just don't sit by me if you're funny.
• I jump on the furniture in our apartment regularly.
• I love coloring and doodling. It's not unusual for my class notes to have graffiti all over the margins.
• I have dance parties in the kitchen, in my room, in the library. All by myself.
• I still get the urge to prank people (it's the 17-year old inside of me, ok?!)
• I read Junie B. Jones
• I was a bunch of grapes for Halloween, I mean c'mon.
• I throw books when I get too into them.
• I air-drum when I go running with music.
• I bob my head when I'm jamming while studying...in public.
• I drink milk straight from the jug.
• I laugh during Twilight. Is it supposed to be for real? So I'm supposed to believe that waking up after your wedding night covered in bruises is love? Girl please.
• I felt more like one of the children than a person of authority in Mexico. Those kids saw right through me.
• I play my harmonica for unsuspecting strangers in public.
• If there's a shopping cart nearby, you can bet I'll use it for a quick getaway.
• I wore a shower cap to Broulim's....'nuff said.
• I make designs with my chocolate chips in my pancakes.
• I cross my eyes at people.

So...maybe not so mature after all.

See for yourself.

this was awhile ago, but I've worn worse things on my head recently (*cough* shower cap)

although we were at an ancient historical site, I still somehow found a tree to climb.

I'm a college student. Obviously.

and this is what college students do for fun.

look, I'm climbing another tree!

is this real life?

this should scare you.

Do you ever stop for a second and look at everything happening in your life? Do you ever want to say, "Did that just happen?" And I mean this in a good way of course. I've had a few of these "whoa" moments in the past few days. One was when the devotional speaker was talking about how his grandparents met because the slave ships sailed to America. Then he said (over the pulpit in the BYU-I Center, mind you), "Long live slavery!" I about died.

Then there was last Sunday. Oh the things I could tell! It was like I had a target on my back and God was shooting blessings at me right and left. I almost wanted to say, "Slow down, slow down, I can't carry them all!" Almost everything I read, everything someone said to me, was an answer to prayer. That's what happens when you spend a lot of your time talking to God. He talks right back.

Those of you who know me know that I like to re-read my journals. It helps me make sense of things...Well recently my journal entries from last year at this time have been creepishly similar to the things happening now. It's cuh-razy. I don't know if that's some kind of coincidence or foreshadowing or what, but yeah...journals are cool. End of discussion.

Things I love about life right now: wearing boots and scarves and hats every day, squash for deener, mixed CDs, pregnancy class, Postmodern Literature, none of my roommates playing Christmas music yet, pumpkin frozen yogurt, ward parties, seeing people I know on campus and saying "hi" to them very rambunctiously (I've been told it makes people feel good, so yeah...watch out), saying "rambunctiously" in a sentence, taking naps with the heater on, buying a puffy vest (yes, yes I did), new blonde streaks in my hair (it must be the glare from the snow...), Ye Olde Testament class, 10-page letters to Hermana Bedke, jumping on the furniture in our apartment like a child, triscuits+peanut butter+honey, text messages from TP on the day we've been waiting for for 2 years (like how I say "we," like we're a couple or something?), getting a friend a job (chyeah!), using way too many parenthetical statements.

DUDE. Ok sooooo yeah, life is awesome.

And then there's that Hunger Games trailer.

Sorry, had to.

inevitably, the sun is going to shine through

even the sun finds a way.

I've had a lot on my mind lately, and a lot of it hasn't been encouraging. I know I'm one of those people that's black or white--if I'm happy, I'm really happy, and if I'm sad, I'm really sad. Most of the time, I'm on the brighter side of things. Perhaps it's the weather...I really miss October and autumny-ness. It never lasts long enough where I choose to live. And lately I have been in a shlump, if you will. I feel like a good strike of lightning would cure me, or something to that effect. The thing with life is, you can't wait for stupendous things to happen--you have to make them happen yourself.

I've been reading in my old journals to help me make sense of things. I re-read my journal a lot, because the truth is, most of the hard stuff doesn't make a lot of sense until it's in your rear view mirror. I think it's pretty silly of me to think that one day I'm going to be able to "get it"--that I'll get a trial and be able to say, "Okay, I know exactly what I'm supposed to learn from this." It seems that one of the biggest lessons I have been needing to learn from trials is that I can't do it alone. I can't figure life out by myself; and when I try, I do a really bang-up job. The other half of this crazy equation is that I often feel like I can't figure out what the Lord wants me to do. I sometimes think I have it figured out, and then I'm surprised yet again. I'm constantly being turned around. So right now the trick is being in tune and then putting one foot in front of the other, even if it doesn't make any sense. That's basically the story of my life. And probably all of our lives...

One thing I've found to be helpful is to look for patterns in our lives, just to get a "sneak-peek" as to where the Lord is leading us. One pattern I've noticed is friendship...I seem to make really awesome friends who change my life, and then bam, they get taken away from me. Por ejemplo: Liz, Chelsea, Courtney, Tessa. One of them is married, two are on missions, one is four hours away from me. I could do a whole post about boys and my bad timing in that area, but we've already discussed that this week. So maybe Heavenly Father is teaching me to love people as much as I can while I have them because I never know when they'll be gone. Or maybe he's teaching me how to be on my own...to love myself and be comfortable with myself.

So in the meantime, while I wait for that friend who I get to keep for forever, I've got a few things to check off my "to-do list."

• make the cookies from this blog and then initiate "random acts of cookies." holy hannah, yes.
• learn how to play the guitar, probably during winter semester because I know who to ask to teach me (that means you, dan).
• hike Timp. somebody, please, next summer, we must do this. anyone.
• run a half-marathon. amen and amen.
• read lots and lots of books on that booklist o'mine.
• venture down to south america.
• cut my hair. goodbye long locks.
• have another night of spontaneity with Tessaface. Let's find another random concert to go to, yes??
• stop worrying. it's hard, but I can do it.

what are you going to do to make life sweeter? divulge in the comments, yo.

go forth.

If you would like some more cool stuff to look at, go here. It's my tumblr, and it is where my right brain manifests itself. Word.

a not-so-happy list

So I was going to put a happy list on here, like I usually do on Mondays, but I got home and I just feel like sleeping. That's all I feel like doing these days. And yet, a Spanish test looms on the horizon. As well as some more homework. More and more. It never ends. Then there's registration, which I can't even do yet because my Fast Grad hasn't been approved. It's ok if you don't understand any of this...I don't either.

here's what's been circulating in my brain lately:

• boy who is dumb and uses girl for selfish reasons. and then never talks to her again.
• boy who doesn't ever talk to the girl unless more people are around.
• boy who makes the girl feel awkward even when she says hello. this isn't really the boy's fault....but still. STILL. you bring out the awkwardness in me. is this normal?
• boy who makes the girl think he likes her until she sees him with another girl. say wha?? did you just punk me or something?
• boy who obviously likes a girl and then takes a million jillion years to ask her out, in the meantime she's over-analyzing everything he does/doesn't do and tries to avoid him in order to avoid more things to analyze, but it does not work.
• as you can see, boys are on the brain. what can I say? I've been at BYU-Idaho for too long. oh, and everybody, I mean every.body. is getting engaged. At the same time. Does anyone have a cure for this "all of my friends are getting married" phenomenon? Should I just go for a long run....all the way out of Rexburg? haha

Clearly, I need advice. Or a new stuffed animal.

fridee

hooray for weekends, hooray for hot chocolate with chocolate chips stirred in, hooray for new mixes, hooray for doorbell ditching, hooray for little notes to people i love, hooray for the chilliness which means I get to wear scarves and boots every day, hooray for preach my gospel, hooray for baseball hats, hooray for babies and classes all about them, hooray for 12-year olds who can't stop talking about star wars, hooray for phone calls to connect me to parents, hooray for old journal entries which help me make sense of everything senseless, hooray for running into secret crushes all the time, hooray for letters from out of the country, hooray for soup, hooray for old friends coming to visit, hooray for the temple on the hill, hooray for everything, everything.

and while i'm at it, here's what else is making me happy this week.

1. passion pit, and this song.

2. hocus pocus, a classic. (yes, I am aware it is a halloween movie, but it's still october in my mind)

3. this post by sydney. baby hunger, get thee hence!

4.autumn bike rides.

5. this video--just too good to be true.

6. postmodernism, for making me want to cry every time i do an assignment. the stories are so stinkin' good. all of you should read this book.

7. newspaper poetry.

8. awesome/amazing/brilliant ideas that strike in the middle of the night (sound familiar? the same thing happened about a year ago....and strangely it had to do the with the exact same subject. see number 8.). this one is just...oh man, i don't even have words.

9. this idea to make popcorn, saved me moolah. and now i eat popcorn a lot more. hrm....

what can i say, it's friday and it's november and nobody is playing Christmas music at the moment, so i'm feeling snaaazzy. how is your weekend looking?

dance, dance, dance the night away.

halloweenie

it's my favorite holiday for a reason....

and that reason is, I can act like myself and nobody suspects a thing.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

a lil' bidnez

shout-out to my liz-girl

I updated the sidebar AND the playlist tab, so be proud of me! You wanna know what else I've accomplished this week? Thought so. Otherwise why the junk are you reading this blog?

1. bought the ugliest orange hat ever from the D.I., which I am now wearing.
2. finally got all the stuff for my costume...and it is going to be off the chain. or should I say, off the vine...
3. speed-walked up to the temple because bro. anderson shared this quote on wednesday. I had to get there before satan stopped me. ha
4. started writing sister bedke a serial letter, meaning it's taken me 3 days already. kinda like I'm sending her a journal entry.
5. shaved my legs por fin! yeah, i'm being serious. it's amazing how often I talk about that subject on this blog.
6. exercised every day so far (brownie points for me! ok...maybe not brownie points. celery points?)
7. started making playlists for future mixes for mis amigos. your ears shall be happy, friends.
8. gallivanted (whoa, is that even correct grammar?) through more leaves. I still haven't actually jumped in them, but today I noticed the giant piles just sitting in porter park. muahaha
9. worked, worked, worked some more. my favorite student would probably hafta be the 12-year-old who can't help but talk about star wars, explosions, and legos in between paragraphs.
10. took a couple of mid-terms. wait...mid-terms?! it's not halfway through the semester already, right?
11. realized once again how awesome my life is. why should I complain?