here we go again

the last thing I took a picture of in Mexico as my bus pulled away.

It was almost one year ago that I was getting ready to leave Mexico. And when I say "getting ready," I don't mean emotionally or mentally. Because honestly, nothing could have prepared me for the last day I had with my students, or with my roommates. Nothing could have prepared me for that moment when I pulled out of the bus station, (feeling like crapola, by the way) and my heart literally hurting. It was like it was being punched.

I remember looking out the window as we drove out of the city, at this wonderful place I had no idea I'd grow to love so much. But mostly it was the people I knew I would miss. I saw the part of the city we'd gotten lost in my first week. I saw the centro, where we walked almost every day and got stared at by who knows how many people. I saw the bakery where we got goodies every night. The last thing I saw of Tehuacan was the crummy old swimming pool. Yeah, it was run-down and broken, but I still have it in my mind as the last thing I saw of that place. I tried to imagine coming back someday. Basically, goodbyes really stink.

And now I'm 12 days away from leaving another place I've grown so used to. I didn't realize it until this semester, but Rexburg is my home. It has been for 3 and a half years, and I know it very well. I know where the best food is (if you don't know what I'm thinking of you haven't been reading this blog for long enough). I know the best places to ride your bike. I know the best place to study in the library (yes, the exact cubicle). I know which park is the prettiest in autumn. I know the people who work in the baptistry at the Rexburg Temple.

But something I have come to know better than all these places is myself. I wasn't supposed to come to this school, you know. At least, not according to my plan. But Heavenly Father worked His magic and I ended up here anyway. I remember at freshman orientation they kept telling us we weren't here by accident. I wanted to believe it! And now I don't just believe that's true; I know it. I can't imagine the person I'd be if I hadn't come here.

Where would I be without having ever met Courtie or Chelsea-boo? I don't want to know.

What funny stories would I tell about Fall 2009 if I hadn't been a night custodian?

What inappropriate things would I be unaware of if I hadn't been the only girl in a Spanish class full of boys countless times (no really...sometimes I wonder)?

How lame would the college experience have been without getting lost a million times, making the time capsule, eating the G's Dairy platter with 3 other girls, having a dance party while doing dishes, stealing a piece of the hammock (that's another story), sleeping under the stars at Badger Creek, eating lime freezes in Driggs (not to mention being served by the girl who really wanted us to know who her ex-boyfriend was. Sarah, if you're reading this I hope you're laughing), jumping off the dunes for no good reason, ambushing those boys with water balloons. I mean really, where would I be?

Anyhow, I'm glad I ended up where I did. And now it's the end. Time for a new adventure. Deep breath. Here I go.

and now a trip down memory lane (a.k.a picture overload) here's a song to listen to while you scroll. man, I'm weird. everything has to have a soundtrack.

our very first concert in the Hart Building as little freshman...awww.

p.s. Rachie (the redhead) is married now and Courtie is on a mission.

still one of the best apartments of all time. ahh, good ol' 601.

I can't even remember why we went to the mall that night...but we did. And then we found a children's toy and the rest is history.

this was very late at night. a car-dance-party shortly followed.

the infamous hammock. so many good things happened there. Except for that time Liz shouted an inappropriate (and also funny) thing to passerby. And also when I fell out because we got too much momentum. Or when Chels made this face.

also at the mall. some music came on, and we started "dancing."

first and last bonfire.

one night an awesome lightning storm was happening by the temple, so we drove over there to watch. and then we got really smart and ran out into the open field to take pictures. during a lightning storm. in other words, I should be dead in this picture.

I miss all of these peeps. This is the original Willie Wednesday Crew, minus Sarah Bedke. We carried on the tradition (Sarah Willie and I) after all of these people left, and now Willie's gone and it's solo yo. Soon I shall be gone too. Oh how things change.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: don't hate on the Skintimate.

seriously.

did you know this was one of the best nights of my life? I thought the picture would make it obvious, but just in case you were wondering...

this was the best costume ever of all time. and someone actually thought I was a bunch of balloons (which I was, literally, but Halloween is all 'bout the imagination, dude)

I would really like to know how much frozen yogurt I have consumed while living here. Then again, maybe I don't...

Dear Chelsea, I miss you a lot. You come home in September. Crazy. I hope we can switch identities again like we did in this picture. Sincerely, Kenzie

Word to my family coming to visit in a week: we are GOING to G's Dairy Delights. You have no choice in the matter.

This was the first of many "Friday Night Freeze Outs."

Some people ice skate, but we ice stumbled. It was still fun.

I like this picture a lot because it pretty much explains how I feel about homework in general.

Also, Tessa should really get this framed. I still can't believe we paid $2 to go inside the Rigby TV Museum. Wait...yes I can.

Another really excellent set of roommates. Miss you all!

(p.s. two of the girls in this piksha are married and one is engaged. boo-ya!)

Dear Courtney, you get home really soon as well. Promise that we'll go on a road trip and get lost like old times? Love, Kenzie

my love for the taco bus has no bounds. and apparently the same goes for my friends. I have good friends.

mom, you could've used this on my grad announcement.

seriously.

what would college be without the yellow hat (and awkward mirror shots)?

like I said, taco bus=my true love

what a good parting shot.

sometimes...

sometimes I feel like this is the environment I live in.

sometimes I'm tempted to eat something with peanut butter on it for every single meal. and sometimes I give in to that temptation. no shame.

sometimes I smile at perfect strangers just to see what they will do. since I live in Rexburg, this game isn't too exciting, because most everyone smiles back. but some people wink. and then the game ends.

sometimes I stumble on a song I love and I can't stop listening to it. like this one.

sometimes I daydream about April 6th and sometimes I have nightmares about it. Mixed emotions up in herrrrre.

sometimes I have too many thoughts and feelings to be contained in this little brain of mine, so I write them all out in letters which I never send. I have multiple "unsendables" on my hard drive, yo. And that is where they shall stay.

sometimes I wish I could forget about school for a long time and become a bona fide musician. and sometimes I use "bona fide" in sentences even though it sounds funny.

sometimes I surprise myself by how much I bake. I mean for realz, who makes homemade tortillas and homemade pizza crust in one day? Who would do that? Not 2008 freshman Kenzie. But 2012 Senior Kenzie is apparently very self-sufficient. Or just a food snob to the extreme.

(p.s. the tortillas were delicious. recipe here.)

sometimes I watch 15 minutes of The Final Rose before I feel nauseous and have to leave the room before I slap the TV (because I can't actually slap the people on the TV, even though I wish that were possible sometimes).

sometimes I have dance parties in my room, by myself. with the blinds open. ya....

sometimes I wonder what my future self would say to my present self right now. like, "kenzie, stop worrying about everything. it's all going to turn out ok." I'm pretty sure that's what she would say.

sometimes I can't sleep at night so I start thinking about Mexico. And I can't really believe it's almost been a full year since I left that place. What a day that was.

sometimes I don't really care about the movies that are out these days (p.s. I've now seen The Vow and Gone so you don't have to). But can I just say, I am excited to the 1,000th power for this Friday at 12am. To see Peeta The Hunger Games.

so tell me..what would your "sometimes" list consist of?

{inspired by this lovely lady}

p.s. totally changed the blog name. but changing the URL is too messy. /the end/

I guess I need to rename this blog thang

perhaps I'll rename it "that's so mckenzie"

Lately, I've had a lot of people tell me emphatically that I am not a redhead and therefore should not have named my blog thus.

Before I offer up photographic evidence that proves them all wrong, I'll just ask you for some ideas in the comments section. And nothing cheesy like "the life and times of mckenzie-girl." Heck to the no. There are already 1,000 blogs with a title almost exactly like that one.

I digress...

Last week I was a vegetable and quarantined myself in my room for most of those 7 days. Being sick is no fun. I hope this is all the sickness I get for the year. P.S. my journal entries from that time period are going to be a great case against drugs someday. F'real.

A little bit of randomness floating in my daylight-savings-ized brain (yep, I just verbed that word. And verbed the word "verb." I'm just that cool. Or I've been in school for far too long...)

• There are 20-something days of school left. Twenty. I can hardly believe it's real! I feel like I need to get out and do all my favorite things in Rexburg before those 20 days are up. And maybe finally climb R Mountain?? Who's with me?
• Today I taught my student from Japan what "swagger" means. I really am gonna miss this job.
• Spring is finally here. Meaning I wore a skirt to class today. Without tights. And my sweet shades which everyone thinks are expensive Ray Bans, but really they were a buck, just fyi.
• My freckles have begun to show up again, and I broke out my Chacos at last, so here comes the zig-zag tan. I have been waiting to see those two things since I returned from Mexico a year ago (?!). No foolin'.
• I applied for a job in Provo today, and started looking for housing, and pretty soon I'm gonna look for someplace I can take GRE prep classes. It's really happening...ahh! I still scratch my head and ask Heavenly Father if He's sure. Because I'm really not. Six months from now I know I'll be glad I listened to Him.
• I recently figured out that I like wearing scarves...right in time for all the snow to melt and the sun to make me all sweaty-like. Too bad.
• Even though I love writing letters (to the 50th power), there's nothing like seeing an envelope in the mailbox with my name on it. Especially from someone who didn't get one from me in the first place.
• I've taught a bunch of people my "super-secret" superhero handshake this semester. I'm trying to spread it like that Kony Video. I'll probably fail, but...at least I tried, right?
• I made lasagna and cheesecake and bread sticks for the first time evah on Sunday and fed it to 7 hungry people. I'm pretty sure feeding people is my new favorite hobby.
• I made summer plans that include grilled cheese sandwiches+picnics, bike rides up the heezy, eating contests, and learning new languages. Did I mention these plans were made with my 7-year old sister? Oh okay then.
• I found out Bon Iver is coming to SLC in May! Best news of my life. Well, okay, not the best, but still pretty amazeballs.

What's going on wit you people? Do tell. I feel like we haven't talked in forevers. It might be because you never comment. Or it might be because I was under the influence of Sudafed last week. Your pick.

proof I'm heavily medicated

• I shaved my legs twice in the last three days (wow, really?)
• I made up a new slang term: "Holy Granola!" It just came out of my mouth like drool. What??
• I ate more produce today than most Americans farm animals eat in a week (think of that one time I hate a half a bag of carrots by myself, or half of a pineapple...that times five)
• I warned my future children against the dangers of drugs in a journal entry. I'm telling you--Benadryl/Aleve/Sudafed--whatever it is, my body can't take it
• I'm taking double-double naps
• I'm probably going to regret writing this in the morning
• I did nothing to my hair today besides 5 variations of the braid
• I'm listening to lots of Weezer. Hello 17-year old self, nice to see you again
• It was sleeting outside today, and I walked around in it, for a full 30 minutes. In my current state. I mean, somebody should just get a crane, pluck me up, and stick me in my bed. Clearly I cannot function solo
• I forgot what day it was...and what month...and maybe the year too. You mean it's not February 6th, 2011? Oh yeah, because if it was, I'd be in Mexico. Darn.
• I have this insane urge to jump on my bed, but it's 11 o' clock at night so I will refrain
• Also, it does not feel like it's 11 o'clock at night. More like 5pm. Stupid double-napping!
• When my doctor commented on the orangey-hue of my skin (seriously, it's not even that orange), I confessed to eating lots of pumpkin and carrots, jokingly offering up a solution. She said, in all seriousness, "Ahh. That's it. I've never seen this before." What the? Ok, I'm an oompa-loompa, now tell me if I have the flu! But, for reals. It's not that orange, aight?
• That last paragraph

word to my melting cranium

dear brain,

I'm sorry I've been neglecting you lately. I know, I know. You thought all of this reading and analyzing and typing would get you far, but you were wrong. I was a bad owner for putting you through all of it. But guess what, soon it will be over. And then you will probably be glad that I put you in a metaphorical vice and squeezed until you almost exploded. You'll get a break, soon, little brain.

I'll keep feeding you blueberries every day because I know they are your favorite.

And pretty soon I will let you enjoy a book you actually want to read. I will let you savor all of the delicious words and get to know the characters a little bit. I might even make you so mad that you send a signal to my hands, and then my hands will throw the book. It's happened before, but only when you got really into it.

I'll let you get crazy-high on endorphins when I start running outside again. You will love what the sun and the running uphill does to you. Sometimes you complain to me about it, but then after we've gone a few miles you get really excited and you don't want to stop. Soon, my little cabeza. Soon.

I will probably go on bike rides, too, and you'll love feeling the breeze and hearing the sounds of spring. You like sending signals to my bare feet when they touch the grass or the cement. Shoes kind of dull the senses sometimes. Soon enough, we'll take care of that.

When June comes along, you will have to work hard again, but your right side will be the one working overtime. That side always worked hardest anyhow. You will have to find ways to entertain teenagers. The last time you did that was in 2009. I wish you luck.

I'm going to make some new playlists just for you, with all of the best tuneage I've collected during the winter months. I will let you listen to them whenever you want. You will probably send signals to my mouth and turn it into a smile.

There are only four weeks left. I think you can stand it. You've endured pretty crazy things before. What's 4 more weeks of an undergraduate education? You can do it.

Sincerely,

McKenzie

a basic glossary, in case you can't understand me.

some people shouldn't be allowed in front of cameras after 12am.

The other night some of my old friends from freshman year came over while I was bakin' up the heezy. I made muffins and bread, and gave it all to them, because I really can't take it when people say they "finally broke down and ate a package of Ramen." Uh-uh, not around me you won't. So anyway, I was popping the muffins out of the muffin tin and some of the crusty part got stuck. I said, "Do you want the little crumb-ditties, too?" He looked at me and said, "Oh yeah, I forgot about Kenzie Slang."

Huh? Kenzie Slang? Are you saying I have my own language or something?

Well, then I thought about it some more. And I came to the conclusion that yes, I do have my own slang. In case you were bored, here is an itty-bitty list. Now whenever you are around me you don't have to whip out google translate if I say one of these terms (and even if you did whip out google translate, it would not be able to help you. It once told a roommate in Mexico that "pastel" meant "crayon" instead of "cake," and that is a funny story for another blog post).

crumb-ditties: also known as the "corners" when it comes to baked goods.

ditty: just a thing. I dunno, I use it interchangeably for all sorts of things. Usually when I'm talking about a conversation or a song or something. Yeah, that wasn't vague at all.

redonkulus: otherwise known as "ridiculous"--go watch Bolt and you will undastan

pure awesomeness: used when talking about a favorite song, book, or person (Justin Vernon/Marlon Brando/the inventor of peanut butter)

celestial deliciousness: used to describe something insanely tasty which I have consumed, i.e. food from the taco bus or yogurtland

to the "nth" power: usually for emphasis, like "I was craving a popsicle to the 10th power" or "I needed a nap to the 100th power."

ya dig?: simply means "are you with me?" but not in a rude way. more like, "we're friends so I think you should agree with me."

the fuzz: my mom thinks this one is hilarious...it just means "the cops." So I guess she thinks cops are funny? Oh well. 

heck to the no manches: I'm so cool I combined slang terms from two different languages. "Heck no" is Utah slang, and "no manches" is Mexican slang. They both mean the same thing. But when I combined them, it was like an atomic explosion of slang. What?

what the mess/junk: I have been saying "what the junk" since the tender age of 14, until someone told me it was weird, so I stopped, and then that same friend who told me I had my own language started saying it, and I felt validated.

"the club cannot handle me right now": I am tired of these people I am surrounded by. A.K.A. get me outta here. 

tight like unto a dish: this was stolen from the Book of Ether. I can only say it around fellow Mormons, otherwise I get really weird stares instead of laughter. Use it in a sentence, you ask? "Me and Chelsea Bedke are tight like unto a dish." Bam.

creepstache: a creeper, weirdo, or scary person who lurks in dark alleyways and is also inebriated. this does not imply that all people with mustaches are creepy...but I bet when most of you imagine a creeper, you're thinking of a guy with some kind of facial hair, am I right?

oh my lanta: "oh my gosh" or "oh my goodness" equivalent

oh shnap: "oh snap" with an "h" thrown in. Do I really have to explain these anymore?

oh my gash: I noticed that it's funnier when people pronounce "gosh" with a weird, drawn-out accent, like "gash." So I do it on purpose. Ummm...and that's all. Yep.

whatev: back in the day, me and Chels were fluent in "abreev." And this is one of those words that has not yet faded away from that time in my life (other words I sometimes use from this era are "def" and "totes")

what the crepe? I was tired of saying "crap," so I started saying "crepe" because it almost sounds the same but it conjures up images of a tasty breakfast instead of...well, yeah. The other stuff.

noodles! same thing as "shoot!" or "dangit!"

up the heezy: a lot of something, yo

"brain barf": regular readers of this blog know that a brain barf is just my regular writing style, i.e. I write whatever the junk is coming into my head at the time, and it is a big fat mess. Kind of like the back of the car that one summer we went really fast down that windy road and Ike had eaten too many Cocoa Puffs....

sha-bam: when I write something cool and I expect you to respond with "whoa" or "duh," I stick this at the end, kind of like a kick in the sentence's pants. It's like an exclamation point...without the exclamation point.

coolioso: "cool" with "ioso" at the end, hence making it sound Spanish when it fact it is just McFrenzy Slang.

"confession session": whenever I need to confess a bunch of things, I do it on the world wide web and slap this title on it. Fastest way to get people to know all my secrets, hands down.

"I'll karate-chop so-and-so's face": just another way to say "I'm going to beat that person up," but not literally. Just in my mind...

tuneage: music that I listen to that just so happens to be splendid.

yerp: yes, yeah, siiiii

yesh: see "yerp"

chyeah: see "yerp" or "yesh"

amazeballs: yeah I debated even putting this on here, but I say it. I should probably stop. All it means is "amazing."