i just ate half a bag of carrots all by myself

Confession 1: I have red rock dust on my new chacos, which would normally bug me because I hate getting new shoes dirty, but these are chacos, they are meant to have cool things smeared on them, and my friends, red rock dust is a cool thing. Especially when it comes from Snow Canyon. This is Snow Canyon:

Confession 2: I get pleasure from giving people my parking spot.

Confession 3: It takes me at least 20 minutes to fall asleep because my brain thinks it is an Olympic sprinter and will. not. stop.

Confession 4: I think "Charlie St. Cloud" is kind of a weird movie, with a good soundtrack...but Zac Efron is the only reason I watch it. Just sayin'.

Confession 5: If you lived in Eugene, Oregon five years ago and your house got toilet papered every weekend, I'm sorry.

Confession 6: I wear sandals when there's snow on the ground.

Confession 7: I think soap operas and late-night infomercials are immensely entertaining. People at the fitness center think it's strange when I bust up laughing for no reason. Aren't they watching the TV's?

Confession 8: When it comes to produce, I go all out. Once I hate half of a pineapple in 10 minutes. And like the title of this blog reveals, I can polish off a bag of carrots in no time flat. It's kind of gross.

Confession 9: Even though I pretty much dislike all country music, I listen to Taylor Swift. And I like it.

Confession 10: I'm a hygiene freak. If you are a cute potential guy-friend, but you decide not to brush your teeth or comb your hair, sorry dude. Hasta lasagna.

Fact: 2011 is going to be really good. I'm not sure why I'm having this feeling, but I know it will be epic. Plus, I will have a hammock. I might have mentioned that a few times.

caleb vs. cilantro

Caleb, on the way home from church today:

"I declare that aliens will come to earth in 2080 and they will declare that cilantro...was never meant to be eaten!"

it really is

christmas eve, that is.

Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfil all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets...And it came to pass that the words which came unto Nephi were fulfilled, according as they had been spoken; for behold, at the going down of the sun there was no darkness; and the people began to be astonished because there was no darkness when the night came...And it came to pass that there was no darkness in all that night, but it was as light as though it was mid-day. And it came to pass that the sun did rise in the morning again, according to its proper order; and they knew that it was the day that the Lord should be born, because of the sign which had been given.

-3 Nephi 1:13, 15, & 19-

another countdown

circa june 2009

it's crazy to think of everything that has changed since this piksha was taken...what will happen in the next year?! who knows?? isn't it awesome?

I feel like I'm constantly counting down to something.

Good and bad.

Good because it means I always have something to look forward to.

Bad because I'm not enjoying the present as much as I could.

I'll work on that, promise.

In the future:

Mexico, of course. 15 days from now. Oh dear.

Next semester, I will have a hammock, and it will be sunny in Rexburg. Connect the dots.

That one race I signed up for awhile back...you know...just the Ragnar. Psyche. 6 months and counting.

A Lizzy/Kenzie reunion. It's gonna happen, people.

Speaking of reunions, I know six missionaries who will be returning next year. Big smiley.

In the near future:

Chelsea will open her mission call and I'll know what address to slap on those envelopes. Could happen TODAY.

I'll turn 21, which doesn't mean much unless you are a boozer. For the record, I am not.

Apples to Apples with singles ward amigos.

CHRISTMAS!!!

I'm going to listen to some Phoenix like I did in the olden days. This song matches pretty well, I think.

My friend (at least one I know of) is going to get engaged. What the junk?!

finals week: a series in 8 parts

day 1: wednesday, december 8th (in library from 8-11:30 pm)

song that kicked us out: sweet home alabama

pieces of gum chewed: 1

other interesting tidbits from this evening in the library: gave away a mango, taught someone a secret handshake, stuck my feet up on the heater 'til my shoes started to smell burnt, changed my hairstyle twice, wrote 8 emails to Chelsea while she sat right behind me.

day 2: thursday, december 9th (up doing homework 'til 11pm)

today I fell asleep in class three times, took one 1-hr nap which felt like 5 minutes, and ate an ice cream cone to get me through the evening. I obviously haven't learned the basic formula...sugar+kenz=crazy/crash. Sigh.

day 3: friday, december 10th (stayed in library from 3:30-6pm)

My original plan was to stay in the library until my research paper was done. But the only spot open on the 2nd floor with a plug nearby was also right up against a brick wall. It was mildly claustrophobic.

So, after a few pieces of gum, a piece of string cheese, and exactly 1 page of my research paper, I booked it out of there before my brain melted onto the floor.

(the above photograph is supposed to show my claustrophobia. didn't really work)

day 4: saturday, december 11th

I tried to wake up at 8, I really did. But my body wouldn't allow it. So I slept until 9am (shocking, I know!). Our elders quorum made us breakfast (think lots of bacon and sausage), which was at noon. We tried to call it a brunch, but they said, "No, it's breakfast."

Alrighty then.

I have now progressed to page 5 of my research paper.

And I've only eaten 1 piece of gum.

Thank you, thank you.

The glasses are supposed to help me study,

or something like that.

day 5: monday, december 13th

(yeah, I skipped Sunday because it's the day of REST, a word which isn't really synonymous with finals week)

ran my final 1.5 miler for science class and beat my time by 1:15. I heard that the new track is supposed to make you run faster...pshh, it was all me!

Then I spent the entire rest of the day on the couch in the living room writing my research paper, finishing my shakespeare project, and starting my spanish project.

for some reason the lighting in this picture makes me look like I have highlights.

p.s. i feel kind of conceited for taking a picture of myself every day. that's all.

day 6: tuesday, december 14th

yes, i recognize that my hair is wavy-crazy in this photo, but what's more is my face. it must be day six of finals week...oh snap.

that there on the right is my lovely amiga Niki, who was studying for an English test with me when this was taken.

Interestingness of the day: I was fed by others for every single meal. Breakfast party in Shakespeare, lunch party at work for which i made the famous brownies, closing ward social with yet another free meal.

I could get used to this free food thing.

Also, I found a new favorite spot in the library (of course the last day I'm in there!)...the only problem is that it's right above a heater and it makes me sleepy.

day 7: wednesday, december 15th

I am quite disgusted with myself in this picture, but this is kind of like a day-in-the-life kind of thing, so I had to stay true to my school. What? Yeah, I dunno what I just said. Confession: I did not wash my hair today. Thus the hoodie.

As for schoolio, well, today was my last day of actual classes. I have exactly 2 tests left to take and 1 project to turn in.

Tomorrow I'm makin' pumpkin muffins for breakfast because I CAN.

And I still have pumpkin leftover...agh.

I have been sitting in this chair for 6 hours now. Six. Hours. I probably could've woven a basket in that amount of time! Think about it!

p.s. is it just me or are the entries for each day getting progressively longer???

oh dear.

day 8: judgment day (did project from 12-2, studied for science test from 2-5)

that's AIGHT, people, I did it! I finished my sixth semester at this place (technically it was my 5th, but I came in with an extra one, so cha).

I can't tell you the bliss I felt after walking out of the testing center at 6:15 PM this evening. What were you doing at 6:15? Did it feel that awesome?

It was like a 100-lb anvil had been lifted off of my head. That's right, it was on my head. But now I'm FREE! Next time I set foot in a classroom, I will be the teacher.

I'm guessing it will be just as hard as school, but in a different and equally amazing way.

now I'm going to have some pizza and watch a movie with my roommates.

p.s. Elder Bednar, Elder Nelson, and Pres. Eyring are in this city RIGHT NOW. With me!!!! Well, not with me with me, but you know what I mean!

PSYCHE!

christmas-y 'n such

I dunno why I haven't talked about it at all because we are 1.5 weeks away, but you know, finals week is kind of kicking my trash....

BUT GUESS WHAT? IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!

I love Christmas. Soooo much.

In order to help me get into the spirit of it while I am slaving away, I just play myself some good tunes. This song has been in heavy rotation. The whole album is amazing. Check it out.

Merry Christmas...in 10 DAYS!

la ultima lista de felicidad (en rexburg)

c'mon, learn to love the snow

1. this brand spankin' new FOOD BLOG I just made! Wahoo!

2. not setting foot in the library ONE time today. that is the first time all semester I can say that. sheesh.

3. going inside of the new BYU-Idaho Center to run on the track for my science class....the track is above the gym...which is cool...but seriously this whole building is jaw-dropping. It's so jaw-dropping that I just used a cliché! What up with that?

4. the smell of brownies filling up my apartment (bakin' for the work partay tomorrow)

5. one last FHE with my roommates at TwizlBerry. Tonight we all said something we liked about the person next to us. After that, a girl came over to our apartment and said that she felt like we were really "united." She got that vibe. I got that vibe, too.

6. salsa verde. YUM.

7. wearing my socks all day. and saying socks like "shocks." see, it's fun!

8. watching my roommate Macy turning our Christmas ornaments into earrings. She can pull off anything. It's just not fair.

9. imagining my mom giving me a shoulder massage a week from now because my back hurts so much because i've been sitting here for countless hours doing homework. and that was a run-on sentence, yo.

10. hats with tassles

{last sunday in rexburg for four months}

(one of the zillions of reasons I am thankful I chose BYU-Idaho instead of BYU-Provo)

The last week of school in the 'Burg is always bittersweet.

But this semester has been the best one ever. Ever! And I do believe that that's going to make it all the more difficult to leave. I know I'm going to the right place. It's just hard when I have been given the best roommates ever, the best ward ever, the best classes and professors ever, the best job ever, and the best view from my bedroom window.

It's funny how much you notice things like that when you choose to. I've had some difficult semesters, but I feel like this one hasn't been as hard. I thought at the beginning that it would be really exhausting having early morning classes every day and a job and everything else in between.

Then I started having early-morning scripture study...

And everything changed!

I'm so grateful for this past semester and everything I've learned. I think I've become a better person because of it, and I know that it's all thanks to my Heavenly Father, who has given me so much to be thankful for.

I can't wait to be back here in 4 months!

...until then!

(Here I come, Mexico!)

be still and know...

today I am happy.

the sun came out and started to melt all of the snow and ice

which has been making me slightly more klutzy

(if that's even possible)

I got 100% on a test

my Spanish speaking skills improved according to my teacher

and dang, this piece of gum is just really minty.

that last sentence was dripping with optimism.

I can't help it.

There's only 6 days left of school.

I'm not afraid of what's ahead anymore.

I know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and it just so happens that it's what God wants me to do. So that's why I can have confidence and not be afraid.

You know what the best feeling is?

Not being afraid of anything.

Because instead of worrying myself to sleep every night,

I just think about my future.

And it makes me smile.

p.s. can you believe I wrote this in the library? guess it's not so doom-y and gloomy after all. I know, I know. doom-y isn't a word.

too bad.

Doctrine and Covenants 101:16

Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God.

illustrative happy list

After last weekend, I am so grateful for all of these people+then some. You are my happy list.

and especially Him

Everyone needs good friends. Your circle of friends will greatly influence your thinking and behavior, just as you will theirs. When you share common values with your friends, you can strengthen and encourage each other.

-Thomas S. Monson-

tired in so many ways

...brace yourselves, folks, this one is gonna be deep. And long.

Where do I even start? Last night at 7-ish I felt a lot different than I do now. It may or may not have to do with the fact that I got about 4 hours of sleep last night. And I woke up at 3am sweating like crazy, with my arm bent in some crazy position (it kinda hurts to un-bend those little buggers).

And my brain would not stop going, and going, and going.

The night before, this unsettling feeling would not go away. I laid in bed and tried to sleep, but my rumbling tummy+all of the worries floating around in my head would not let me.

So I went to the kitchen, ate a leetle bowl of grape nuts (fiber at midnight, not the best idea, people) and then made a to-do list for the rest of the week. Erp. It's going to be quite stressful, I think. My heart rate might have gone up just looking at it.

And then there's the other things going on in my life, which, quite frankly, just make me want to CRY. That's right, McKenzie, the self-proclaimed "heartless loser," wants to cry. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, usually there's a good reason.

Yesterday I read a blog which put all of my feelings into the exact words I needed. As I sat in the library reading them, I thought to myself, "Oh, that's what's happening to me." The good part is that this girl had a happy ending, so I should too, right? The trick is being patient while I actively wait for that happy ending.

(Please check out her blog posts here, here, and here--this last one is seriously, almost word-for-word, what I would have written.)

FYI: actively waiting for something you really want that is a really good thing is really hard. Really.

I am having a hard time learning this lesson. But clearly, God wants me to learn it because He knows that 1, I can handle it and 2, if I endure it well I will grow even more and be blessed in ways I can't even imagine.

I just wish sometimes that I didn't feel so far from myself. You know? I just want to be me, and be loved for being me, and not have to feel silly for being myself because of what other people do or don't do. Wow, sorry for that awful run-on sentence. I know this probably isn't making sense...but I just want to say this so I feel slightly better.

Last night, I realized something which felt kind of like a curveball. The kind that gives you a black eye. Black eyes are really un-attractive, I think. They make your eye all droopy and funky and, uh, not to mention blackish-purplish. Not cute. Sorry, tangent.

So this curveball, it really threw me. And it's not the first one I've gotten this semester...in fact, it's not the first one I've gotten this year. I'm starting to think that our whole lives are made up of curveballs which some refer to as "happy accidents" or "tender mercies" or, even more simply, "adversity."

Whenever I start to feel the waves of discouragement creeping up onto my shore, I get a little bit of anxiety. So I go to my knees, because that's where I feel strongest. That's where I feel most like myself, most loved, and most protected. I know that I can be healed that way. The trick is, like Neal A. Maxwell said, "to not shrink."

Today, on this third day of December, I may have shrunken a little bit, but I have that hope Ether talked about in Ether 12:4. I know that even though sometimes our efforts seem worthless, they will be worth it later.

Even though I can't see it now. I'm not a mind-reader, or a fortune-teller, or a time-machine builder. Thank goodness, otherwise my future might be ruined.

The hardest part is not knowing, and yet I have 24/7/365 access to someone who does know, and I'm going to take His hand and let Him lead me wherever He wants me to go.

If that means to Mexico for 4 months, where I don't know anybody and I'm not even sure why I'm going, then I'll go.

If that means saying goodbye to my best friend for 18 months, then I'll do it.

If that means giving up on something which I really thought was a possibility for something even better, then I'll give it up.

"But if by a still, small voice he calls, to paths that I do not know, I'll answer dear Lord, with my hand in thine, I'll go where you want me to go."

20 for 31

my personal fave

20 years old for 31 more days, to be exact. Actually, it's more like 30 days now, because day one is almost over and I have spent almost 75% of it in the library. So that doesn't really count as an actual day, right?

When I first walked into the library after Thanksgiving Break, it was like coming home. You'd think that when I first walked into my apartment, I would feel that way, but no. It was the library. Sad.

I've learned a lot this year and I wouldn't trade any of the trials I went through for anything else. God obviously knows what He's doing and He gives me these experiences for a reason. So I'm just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even though a lot of the time I don't know where it's going to land.

As for these next 30 days, I plan on making the most of them. After all, when the clock strikes 11:18am on January 1st, I will be a "legal adult." Whatever that means...

mcfrenzy's 30 day plan o'action:

go to taco bus uh-gain

make sure my students know they're awesome

get to the middle of the Book of Alma

write a poem and leave it somewhere in this blasted place

stop saying blast and wretch

make a snowman/snow angel

make pumpkin cookies un mas tiempo, to give away of course

update the quote wall before we have to take it down

make those tie-dye shirts we've had since forever ago...

write a note to at least 1 person every week

small acts of service

try to stop listening to this song

go to the Rexburg Temple at least 1 more time

talk to the Bishop 1 more time

bear my testimony (hold me to this)

say hi to a stranger

avoid falling on the ice/snow

wink at somebody. what? I just really gotta get it out of my system.

forget myself and GO (to mexico, that is)