Sunday, March 21, 2010

the narrow road

Some of you may know that I've been going through a "divine tutorial" for the past few years. That's Neal A. Maxwell's term for adversity. It's been an uphill, downhill ride, and I am just now starting to learn that I can't do it alone. Isn't it crazy how we think we are so invincible and so...well, for lack of a better word, capable? We need the Lord's help! Oh, how we need it. The ironic part is that we often don't realize that He is waiting to answer our prayers, waiting to give us direction, waiting to bless us. We just have to take that leap of faith. Sometimes I look down at the steep drop down below, and I think, "Are you really going to catch me? Am I going to make it?" But I always do! Always.

I've been reading and studying up on what could be wrong with me, what I could improve upon, what I could change about myself. I've been praying, too. Prayer is one of the greatest gifts the Lord blessed us with. I'm sure that after the Fall, Adam and Eve weren't the only ones saddened by the loss of immediate relations with Heavenly Father. But there's still a way to remain close to Him, and that's through prayer. So I'm grateful for that. I've been receiving little "nuggets" as answers to prayers. In Institute, in church meetings, at Preach My Gospel class, at work (I know!), in my nightly dreams, from one of my younger siblings. The answers are slowly but surely coming, and I've learned that I need to be more patient with them. We can't ask for the truth and then refuse to act on it once we've received it.

So here it goes again...another test. Another final exam, another all-night study session, another trial. This time I am armed with a better sense of who I am, and what I can accomplish. Last week at Institute, we talked about repentance and becoming. Our teacher reminded us that at the final judgment, it will not be about the good and bad we have done. It will be about what we have become in the end! The trick is to try and be good all the time. You've got to be on the right side of the line all the time, not just when it's easy. By the way, when has the right way ever been easy? To add to that, when has the hard stuff not been worth it?

To the next challenge, I say bring it on. I'm not going to be alone, and I'm not going to give up until He tells me I have "fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." (2nd Timothy 4:7)


Amy said...

Kenz you are a young woman with knowledge and light well beyond your years. You are a gift to all who know you.

Ging said...

I was just saying to your Dad last night, "Once Kenz puts her mind to something, watch out. She is focused and determined." I am grateful for your perspective and your patience in the process of receiving and obeying inspiration and guidance. I believe.

Terri said...

You are inspiring. I wonder who I would be today if I had your thoughtfulness and insights at such impressionable years. I can only imagine what lie ahead for such a gifted sweet soul as yourself. I love you Kenz

what was i thinking?! said...

So "old" for one so young - the best part is to have a child that is also a friend - so glad you are both.

And don't forgot to lock your car door and not leave the stereo in it for the "neighbors" to borrow...

Love, the dad

Kristen Moss said...

Reading your blog has blessed my life in so many wyas. You make me laugh, I am sure you have made me cry and you truley do make me ponder.

I love this post, probably one of my favorites. There is SOOOOO much truth adn goodness written here. A lot of stuff that I personally needed to hear (well, read)

Thanks for sharing this.