basically, I'm going crazy and other stuff

Sometimes the only cure for this insanity is to take my bike to far-off places (aka Cedar Hills) with my music turned all the way up. Usually it's Bon Iver (aka sad music). My life.

Other cures for life not going the way you want it to:

• Go to the temple. Even if you can only do baptisms, like myself, which in the Timpanogos Temple takes exactly 20 minutes, stay in the temple for as long as possible. Bring a talk with you and read it. Preferably this one, or this one or this one. 
• Pray really hard, and pray a lot. Don't just talk at Heavenly Father. Leave some kneel prints in your carpet! If you know what I'm saying. 
• Throw grammar out the window when writing blog posts such as these. JK. Honestly I'm just trying to excuse my terrible grammar right now. Thanks for understanding.
• Go running. I understand some of you are runnin-haterz, which is okay (oh my gash I just said "haterz." Why.)....but that's probably because you have only given running a shot like a couple of times. Meaning your body hated you while you were doing it, am I right? Therefore, you should keep doing it until your body adjusts, and then trust me, your body will love you. You will feel as "high as kite" (my mom would say that).
• Let your sister try to tickle you even though you aren't ticklish anymore (?!). But whatever you do, do not let her check your ears for wax, even though that's her favorite pastime nowadays, because dude. It hurts when little kid fingers start digging in there. Ow.
• Try not to think too hard about every little thing that isn't happening the way you want. Honestly, you can't control most of it, so why bother. Just let God do that part. Do what you know you're supposed to and bam, it will seriously be okay. 
• Learn something new. Like how to play an F chord on the guitar (fklafjdsajfd;akfd;asf;akjfdsa;)
• Go to used bookstores and smell all the old books you pick up, so they will knock off 50 cents at the register because "you're a regular" (wink wink). I knew sniffing books would get me far in life someday.
• Eat some dark chocolate...in copious amounts if possible. I just said copious...fyi. 

it's a brain barf

her face=how i feel about spray tans

"I thought it would be cool to have dinner in a prison...because love really does take no prisoners." (a la the bachelorette) I don't think you even know what you are saying. Like, why. I'm pretty sure that girl has never seen Prison Break, because if she had, she would've never thought dinner could be romantic in such a place.

I slept for 10 hours last night (ha!) and I'm feelin' a nap coming on right now. Something's wrong with my body clock. I'm giving you zz's so leave me alone!!!

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in this country and maybe in this hemisphere that has never listened to a One Direction song, and I never will. The end, amen.

I've been wanting to watch Clueless for six months now. I don't even know.

Everything I planned for in my future went to pot...everything. So, now I am looking for another job and/or a way out of the country in case that doesn't work out. China? Maybe so, maybe so. My life! *facepalm* times ten

I've been looking at guitar straps foreverz on Etsy and all of them are like sixty buckaroos. You do realize that it's basically a belt, right? Why are you charging so much moolah for a belt?! I can't even.

Also, I'm having trouble completing my sentences. Not sure if this is a symptom of graduating from college, but...there are half-sentences scattered all over this post.

Teaching yourself an instrument is so haaaaaaaaaaard. I spent 20 minutes trying to understand tabs. Which shouldn't take that long but I'm used to reading sheet music. Therefore, tabs are like learning another language to me.

I'm hungry. Brb, gonna go get a snack.

Guess which snack I got. Old popcorn. Do you know how tasty old popcorn is on a scale from one to pumpkin? Like a negative five. That's how hungry I am.

I found another blog dedicated to scruffiness and it basically ruined my life. I realized that the last 3.5 years of my life were severely scruff-deprived, which is okay because I understand the reasoning behind it. However, now I can be around scruff again, and that is a very good thing. If you are confused, here. Sha-bam.

Also, sometimes I eat old old maids. What is wrong with me?!

A bunch of people told me John Carter was good, including my movie-expert parents, whose opinion I trust, and then I saw it and was utterly con-fuzled. It's a good thing my friend Hayden was there to explain what was happening because you GUYS. It was the most facepalming movie ever of all time. Maybe it was just late at night and I was enhungered. Salty movie popcorn does nothing for my hungry tummy most of the time (aka basically always).

Also, the main girl in it was wearing probably a roll of toilet paper during the entire thing. Observe:

Nevermind, it was more like half of a roll of toilet paper. The point is, I could not take her seriously in that "outfit."

Me and Hill decided we would go up the canyon randomly after Institute, just because it's a canyon and it's closeby and why not. Well we couldn't find any decent trails, it was getting dark, we had no fire, no s'mores, and no boy scouts with us, so we went to Orange Leaf in the end. Ha! So much for spontaneity.

Today I realized there are only three days out of every week that I really like. Saturday=Costco samples. Sunday=duh, always awesome. Tuesday=soccer. And that is basically my life these days. Oh and looking at scruff blogs. What?

I'm gonna go find some employment now. Bye.

yes, that is a marf he is wearing.


"I'm gonna be the best dang woman I can be."
word to the bachelorette: marry him.

reasons I'm learning to play guitar

because he's not on this blog enough

So, I have been begging my parents for a guitar since I was 15. Every Christmas it was the same, and to be honest, I started to do it just for laughs. I randomly put it on my Christmas list this past year as a joke. Seriously, I did not expect to see a guitar sitting by our tree on December 25th, but see one I did. I started to laugh, which apparently is something I do when I don't think someone is being serious. I start to giggle. It's nicer than saying "yeah, right." p.s. thanks parents for that, it's still one of the best presents ever of all time.

It would've been saweet to take a guitar class for free at BYU-I, especially since I had one semester left, but I wasn't allowed to take anymore classes (dumb credit holds..haha). So I enlisted my friend Dan-o to teach me the basics. After graduation, I bought a nifty book and have been practicing a little. But sometimes (read: almost always) learning an instrument is hard. I know, because I've been playing piano since age 8 and I still do not understand all the wonderfulness of that instrument.

Also, learning a instrument is frustrating because you want to be able to play awesome tuneage right now, and stop playing basic stuff like "O Susanna" and "Buffalo Gal." So sometimes the best thing to do when you are learning something new and kind of sucking at it, is to get inspired by people who do it well.

Here's some music that's been helping me remember why I'm teaching myself the geetar. Listen to it if you want to be super happy and stuff. And if you don't want that...um, can't help you much. You've come to the wrong blog, ma friend.

Keep Your Head Up (Acoustic)-Ben Howard

on a bridge...so yes, double-awesome

Love Song for a Lover of Long Ago-Justin Vernon

lead singer of bon iver, so duh I'm gonna like it. and duh, you should too.

Comfort Me-Feist

The Bitter End-Blind Pilot

sooooooooooooooooo good

Light Year-Gregory Alan Isakov

(p.s. dad, you should listen to more of this guy's stuff. the end, amen.)

New Hampshire-Matt Pond PA

Falling Through the Roof-Horse Feathers

I Won't Cry!-My Morning Jacket

Waiting...-City and the Colour

time to confess

please see #10

1) the other night I watched...oh gash....I watched the bachelorette, okay! and it was terrible and I was half-laughing, half-groaning at the dumbness of it all. promise to never watch it again. I'd like to keep the IQ points I have left, thanks.

2) I spent my whole day with a hot pad. Classy.

3) Every time summer arrives, I realize that most of the t-shirts I possess are from D.I. this needs to change.

4) I'm craving JCW's so bad it hurts. It actually is hurting my stomach to think of it. Because I know as soon as I eat it I'm gonna feel worse. But still...I want that cheeseburger. Come hither, greasy food. I dunno what I just said either.

5) I go on midnight bike rides...barefoot. If you see me, say hello. But don't run over me, k?

6) I'm reallllllllllllllly excited for the Olympics, guys. Not even joking, it's like my favorite thing to watch every four years. fjdsklfjafjdsl;afjl;sajf;sajfd All of these commercials on NBC aren't helping.

7) I think I listened to this song ten times today.

8) I almost dislocated my index finger trying to play the F chord on guitar. Teaching yourself an instrument is no joke. I also have a zig-zag tan, messy hair, and I daydream about living in a cabin in the woods. #hippieinthemaking

9) I cut my hair in April. It grew an inch since then. AN INCH. I know, some of you out there wish your hair grew this fast. But for reals, my hair does not stay short for very long. p.s. I take fish oils.

10) I just found this blog today.
out loud reaction: noooooooooooooooooooooooo
in my head reaction: yesyesyesyesyes!!!!!!!

In other words, you're welcome.

le brain barf

does anyone else feel weird about the new Anne Hathaway?

I just watched the trailer for Les Miserables, p.s. didn't even know that movie existed until now. Also, not sure how I feel about Anne Hathaway singing. I just...yeah. And she's Catwoman? I'm confused on a number of levels.

I need a real job after EFY. I've decided Costco will suffice. Somebody hook me up with them asap. For reals. Can you imagine living in sample heaven 40 hours a week? Ha...okay. But seriously. I need a real job.

Another thing I need: a place to live in Provorem. Everyone has a different opinion about where to live there. Ack! It's too much information. Also, there are way too many places to live. How am I supposed to narrow it down? Gee willicker's. Did you know that is also the name of a restaurant in Eugene, Oregon? But I think they turned it into a pub or something....

Trying to find yellow, semi-cheap, cute, oh and did I mention yellow shoes, is really difficult. All in the name of love.

It's sad that I spent a lot of my day doing that aforementioned activity. But I also read The Kite Runner, which I haven't done in years. Ah! All the emotions! I just cannot...I literally cannot.

I finally got reunited with my bff Lizzy. In Disneyland. What? Yeah, best reunion ever. The only problem was it was a little too short for my liking.

I have learned the return date for Hermana Chelsea Ann Bedke. It is October 9th. You can bet I will be at the SLC airport on that day with a huge embarrassing sign and a Snickers bar. Ready to make a scene.

I'm homesick for Rexburg. It has finally hit me. Oh dear.

I think Instagram is taking over the internet. I don't know how I feel about it...I mean, it's cool and everything. But I think maybe we rely on technology too much to make connections. I like the good old-fashioned, face-to-face stuff. Getting off my soapbox now.

The worst part of a sunburn is the peeling phase. Although I can't really complain about this burn. Because a year ago, I was recovering from the worst sunburn of all time. The tanlines from that particular burn didn't fade for six months. Six months. Sunblock: not just for decoration.

That didn't make sense. I just wanted to use that line from The Santa Claus. I don't know either.

Okay so, let's recap: Anne Hathaway is singing now and I think this is kind of weird, I need a real job, preferably at Costco, I need a place to live, I need yellow shoes and it's taking over my life and it shouldn't be taking over my life even though my life is pretty unexciting right now, except for last week when we went to Disneyland and I saw Lizzy again and her hubs Mark, I'm tackling Chelsea with love when she gets off the plane in October, I kind of miss Rexburg, I don't have a smartphone so maybe that's why I think Instagram is overrated sometimes, I'm peeling like a snake, and I have random lines from The Santa Clause stuck in my head.

Sounds like a brain barf to me.

me, blog? what now?

SUMMAH TO-DOS

listen to more bright eyes, passion pit, and bon iver

hike timp, f'realz

write a letter and throw it into the ocean, in a bottle(!)... or be brave and send it

go to disneyland/party with magical characters

learn 5 songs on the guitar

stargaze legitimately (with a blankie and everything, in a wide open space that is not my backyard which is right next to a busy road which ruins the ambiance)

eat more tacos

play soccer

get more freckles (this is already coming to pass)

run some mo'

climb a tree

go see at least one movie at the scera shell (outside)

go camping up the canyon by ma house

swim in a pool

eat lots of fro-yo (to balance out the running of course)

finish the Book of Mormon!

read a huge book (I started Anna Karenina and oh my gash...I finished 3 other books while I was attempting to read it. Tolstoy is no joke.)

prepare myself mentally for Chelsea Ann Bedke's homecoming in the fall. ACK.

spontaneous DP's wherever I go (dance parties, duh)

bike rides up the heezy

okay, so who wants to join in this mischevious random fun? anybody is welcome to come. except mosquitoes, they are definitely not invited.

faith is ten million times better than fear. and ironically, ten times scarier.

"Do one thing every day that scares you."

"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"

"The real world doesn't start after graduation, or marriage. You've been living in the real world your whole life. So go live in it."

All of this and more has been turning and turning on the turntable of my brain lately. And at night, it gets even more constant, because I write in my journal and then all these other thoughts creep in. Thoughts that start with a little somethin-somethin we're all famliar with: what if? What if I took a risk today? What if I did something totally out of character, but totally awesome at the same time? What if?!! What amazing things would be set in motion if I dared to dive in, instead of just dipping in my toes?

Lately I've been upping my scripture study significantly. It's made a world of difference. I'd highly recommend it. Anyway, I was reading in Alma, when all those Lamanites start to be converted because of the sons of Mosiah (who, if you will recall, were "the vilest of sinners." The Atonement is realer than real.). As I was reading, I noticed a note in the margins that said this: "Fear distorts things, while faith makes things clear."

Did you get that? I read it three more times. Fear distorts the truth. It muddles the truth about who we really are, and what we can really do, and that is exactly why Satan loves to use it. He knows that as long as we don't understand who we really are, we don't rise up and be great (which we're all destined to be, by the way). God, on the other hand, uses faith. Faith gets things done. Faith moves us to do awesome things-- things that might scare us at first, but end up being the best things ever.

Often this involves taking risks. Going to BYU-Idaho was a risk. I'd never before in my life set foot in Rexburg. I had only decided to attend the school about three months before I went. But I did, and as you all know (those who have been reading this for awhile), it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

The same goes for Mexico. The entire time I was preparing to go to Mexico, it was kinda like an out of body experience. I kept saying to myself, "McKenzie, is that you?" I would have never done such a thing, moved to another country for three months, to teach? Me?! Ha! But I did, and it was an experience which one or two words could not sufficiently describe. God knew I could do it, and He was trying to coax the better me out of hiding. He was trying to get Kenzie 2.0 to act in faith, instead of the Kenzie 1.0 who doesn't take any risks.

So friends, what are you going to do today that your best self  would do? The upgraded, really sweet version with all of the apps you could possibly imagine. What are you going to do that scares the pants off of you but will end up affecting your life in indescribably awesome ways?

What are you waiting for?! Go do it!

p.s. i briefly reactivated my facespace because i just really wanted this post to be seen.