basically, I'm going crazy and other stuff

Sometimes the only cure for this insanity is to take my bike to far-off places (aka Cedar Hills) with my music turned all the way up. Usually it's Bon Iver (aka sad music). My life.

Other cures for life not going the way you want it to:

• Go to the temple. Even if you can only do baptisms, like myself, which in the Timpanogos Temple takes exactly 20 minutes, stay in the temple for as long as possible. Bring a talk with you and read it. Preferably this one, or this one or this one. 
• Pray really hard, and pray a lot. Don't just talk at Heavenly Father. Leave some kneel prints in your carpet! If you know what I'm saying. 
• Throw grammar out the window when writing blog posts such as these. JK. Honestly I'm just trying to excuse my terrible grammar right now. Thanks for understanding.
• Go running. I understand some of you are runnin-haterz, which is okay (oh my gash I just said "haterz." Why.)....but that's probably because you have only given running a shot like a couple of times. Meaning your body hated you while you were doing it, am I right? Therefore, you should keep doing it until your body adjusts, and then trust me, your body will love you. You will feel as "high as kite" (my mom would say that).
• Let your sister try to tickle you even though you aren't ticklish anymore (?!). But whatever you do, do not let her check your ears for wax, even though that's her favorite pastime nowadays, because dude. It hurts when little kid fingers start digging in there. Ow.
• Try not to think too hard about every little thing that isn't happening the way you want. Honestly, you can't control most of it, so why bother. Just let God do that part. Do what you know you're supposed to and bam, it will seriously be okay. 
• Learn something new. Like how to play an F chord on the guitar (fklafjdsajfd;akfd;asf;akjfdsa;)
• Go to used bookstores and smell all the old books you pick up, so they will knock off 50 cents at the register because "you're a regular" (wink wink). I knew sniffing books would get me far in life someday.
• Eat some dark chocolate...in copious amounts if possible. I just said copious...fyi. 

it's a brain barf

her face=how i feel about spray tans

"I thought it would be cool to have dinner in a prison...because love really does take no prisoners." (a la the bachelorette) I don't think you even know what you are saying. Like, why. I'm pretty sure that girl has never seen Prison Break, because if she had, she would've never thought dinner could be romantic in such a place.

I slept for 10 hours last night (ha!) and I'm feelin' a nap coming on right now. Something's wrong with my body clock. I'm giving you zz's so leave me alone!!!

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in this country and maybe in this hemisphere that has never listened to a One Direction song, and I never will. The end, amen.

I've been wanting to watch Clueless for six months now. I don't even know.

Everything I planned for in my future went to pot...everything. So, now I am looking for another job and/or a way out of the country in case that doesn't work out. China? Maybe so, maybe so. My life! *facepalm* times ten

I've been looking at guitar straps foreverz on Etsy and all of them are like sixty buckaroos. You do realize that it's basically a belt, right? Why are you charging so much moolah for a belt?! I can't even.

Also, I'm having trouble completing my sentences. Not sure if this is a symptom of graduating from college, but...there are half-sentences scattered all over this post.

Teaching yourself an instrument is so haaaaaaaaaaard. I spent 20 minutes trying to understand tabs. Which shouldn't take that long but I'm used to reading sheet music. Therefore, tabs are like learning another language to me.

I'm hungry. Brb, gonna go get a snack.

Guess which snack I got. Old popcorn. Do you know how tasty old popcorn is on a scale from one to pumpkin? Like a negative five. That's how hungry I am.

I found another blog dedicated to scruffiness and it basically ruined my life. I realized that the last 3.5 years of my life were severely scruff-deprived, which is okay because I understand the reasoning behind it. However, now I can be around scruff again, and that is a very good thing. If you are confused, here. Sha-bam.

Also, sometimes I eat old old maids. What is wrong with me?!

A bunch of people told me John Carter was good, including my movie-expert parents, whose opinion I trust, and then I saw it and was utterly con-fuzled. It's a good thing my friend Hayden was there to explain what was happening because you GUYS. It was the most facepalming movie ever of all time. Maybe it was just late at night and I was enhungered. Salty movie popcorn does nothing for my hungry tummy most of the time (aka basically always).

Also, the main girl in it was wearing probably a roll of toilet paper during the entire thing. Observe:

Nevermind, it was more like half of a roll of toilet paper. The point is, I could not take her seriously in that "outfit."

Me and Hill decided we would go up the canyon randomly after Institute, just because it's a canyon and it's closeby and why not. Well we couldn't find any decent trails, it was getting dark, we had no fire, no s'mores, and no boy scouts with us, so we went to Orange Leaf in the end. Ha! So much for spontaneity.

Today I realized there are only three days out of every week that I really like. Saturday=Costco samples. Sunday=duh, always awesome. Tuesday=soccer. And that is basically my life these days. Oh and looking at scruff blogs. What?

I'm gonna go find some employment now. Bye.

yes, that is a marf he is wearing.


"I'm gonna be the best dang woman I can be."
word to the bachelorette: marry him.

reasons I'm learning to play guitar

because he's not on this blog enough

So, I have been begging my parents for a guitar since I was 15. Every Christmas it was the same, and to be honest, I started to do it just for laughs. I randomly put it on my Christmas list this past year as a joke. Seriously, I did not expect to see a guitar sitting by our tree on December 25th, but see one I did. I started to laugh, which apparently is something I do when I don't think someone is being serious. I start to giggle. It's nicer than saying "yeah, right." p.s. thanks parents for that, it's still one of the best presents ever of all time.

It would've been saweet to take a guitar class for free at BYU-I, especially since I had one semester left, but I wasn't allowed to take anymore classes (dumb credit holds..haha). So I enlisted my friend Dan-o to teach me the basics. After graduation, I bought a nifty book and have been practicing a little. But sometimes (read: almost always) learning an instrument is hard. I know, because I've been playing piano since age 8 and I still do not understand all the wonderfulness of that instrument.

Also, learning a instrument is frustrating because you want to be able to play awesome tuneage right now, and stop playing basic stuff like "O Susanna" and "Buffalo Gal." So sometimes the best thing to do when you are learning something new and kind of sucking at it, is to get inspired by people who do it well.

Here's some music that's been helping me remember why I'm teaching myself the geetar. Listen to it if you want to be super happy and stuff. And if you don't want that...um, can't help you much. You've come to the wrong blog, ma friend.

Keep Your Head Up (Acoustic)-Ben Howard

on a bridge...so yes, double-awesome

Love Song for a Lover of Long Ago-Justin Vernon

lead singer of bon iver, so duh I'm gonna like it. and duh, you should too.

Comfort Me-Feist

The Bitter End-Blind Pilot

sooooooooooooooooo good

Light Year-Gregory Alan Isakov

(p.s. dad, you should listen to more of this guy's stuff. the end, amen.)

New Hampshire-Matt Pond PA

Falling Through the Roof-Horse Feathers

I Won't Cry!-My Morning Jacket

Waiting...-City and the Colour

time to confess

please see #10

1) the other night I watched...oh gash....I watched the bachelorette, okay! and it was terrible and I was half-laughing, half-groaning at the dumbness of it all. promise to never watch it again. I'd like to keep the IQ points I have left, thanks.

2) I spent my whole day with a hot pad. Classy.

3) Every time summer arrives, I realize that most of the t-shirts I possess are from D.I. this needs to change.

4) I'm craving JCW's so bad it hurts. It actually is hurting my stomach to think of it. Because I know as soon as I eat it I'm gonna feel worse. But still...I want that cheeseburger. Come hither, greasy food. I dunno what I just said either.

5) I go on midnight bike rides...barefoot. If you see me, say hello. But don't run over me, k?

6) I'm reallllllllllllllly excited for the Olympics, guys. Not even joking, it's like my favorite thing to watch every four years. fjdsklfjafjdsl;afjl;sajf;sajfd All of these commercials on NBC aren't helping.

7) I think I listened to this song ten times today.

8) I almost dislocated my index finger trying to play the F chord on guitar. Teaching yourself an instrument is no joke. I also have a zig-zag tan, messy hair, and I daydream about living in a cabin in the woods. #hippieinthemaking

9) I cut my hair in April. It grew an inch since then. AN INCH. I know, some of you out there wish your hair grew this fast. But for reals, my hair does not stay short for very long. p.s. I take fish oils.

10) I just found this blog today.
out loud reaction: noooooooooooooooooooooooo
in my head reaction: yesyesyesyesyes!!!!!!!

In other words, you're welcome.