list of happiness (gasp!)

Did you just choke on something you were eating? Sorry! It's been awhile since I did a happy list...I know. And it's not even Monday, for cryin' out loud. That doesn't mean I can't make a happy list, though. Happiness is not limited to one day, young jedi. Make happy list for every day of the week, you can.

1) being in da mood to cook, and I mean seriously... it's like the Food Network up in hur, all day long. In the past month, I made: kale and white bean soup (two times, it was yummy), banana shakes up the wazoo, sweet potato muffins, pumpkin oatmeal chocolate chip muffins (ok now inhale), homemade pizza, sixtygagillion loaves of bread, homemade yogurt like a pro (also two times), egg sandwiches, lemon salmon+roasted zucchini, chicken gyros with tzatziki sauce and homemade pita bread (*dead*)...that's all I feel like remembering right now. Would you like to hire me as your live-in cook? Okey-day! (you only get to offer me the job if you're Batman/Christian Bale, aight?)

2) being so zoned out in Spanish class today that when the boy behind me said "Okay McKenzie, let's trade seats" (so we could gather in our groups) I just stared at him for 10 full seconds. And then he said, "Uhhh" and I said "Oh!" And jumped up out of my seat really awkwardly. I'm surprised my head didn't hit the ceiling! Oh wait...no I'm not. I may have amazing reflexes, but I'm still five-two.

3) because of number one (plus good old-fashioned exercise, duh), my clothes. don't. fit. any. more. In a good way. But I'm too stubborn (or is it poor?) to buy new ones. So I just have to pretend that I like my pants to be super-baggy and stuff. There's nothing wrong with wanting to bring the 90's back.

4) re-reading To Kill a Mockingbird for my superheroes literature class. The first time I read it, I was ten years old...so it definitely made more sense to me this time around. It's still just as stupendous as it was back then. Oh, and the movie? If you haven't seen it, stop reading this and go watch it now. NOW.

5) using a thesaurus to find "stupendous" so I wouldn't have to use "awesome" again in that last paragraph. Oh yes I did.

6) the weather, which constantly fools me into thinking it's almost spring. I have gone lots of mornings without my coat because by the time I get home in the afternoon, it's really really nice (okay, probably 35-40 degrees, but still). In the meantime, I freeze my nalgas off. Lovely.

7) a lovely email from student records saying the following:

Mckenzie,

We have reviewed your graduation application and it looks like with the completion of your courses this semester you will be able to graduate this semester. I am forwarding your graduation application on to the Dept. Chair for his approval. Let us know if there is anything we can help you with or answer any graduation questions you might have.

BOOYAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even care that they forgot to capitalize my K. That's how happy I am.

8) the hot pad I bought to make yogurt, which also doubles as a "make McKenzie fall asleep about ten times faster" tool. The only downside: I have a harder time waking up. I literally feel like I'm buried under ten quilts and man, it is just so niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice under there. I think it might also be making my dreams weirder (didn't know that was possible).

9) when a boy I thought was cute actually dropped the h-bomb today ("let's hang out"), he became ten times less attractive. I was surprised at my reaction. I guess I really am maturing, huh. I wondered when that would happen.

10) automatic cure-all if you are having a bad day: make a happy list for yourself, eat a smoothie or something with pumpkin in it, take a walk/go for a run/just go outside, read from the Book of Mormon, smile at someone, smile at yourself, listen to a good dancing song. And dance to it. I mean really dance.

the brace-face chronicles...

So you know how I sometimes post little excerpts from my journals? Well, I decided to show you guys a little somethin-somethin special. Call it an early Christmas present, from me to you. But if you are prone to laughter, please use the bathroom first. Thank you.

And now, we go back in time....to the year of Y2K, Xenon Girl of the 21st Century, and braces. That's right. 2000. And some 2001, too. I decided not to edit anything, because, well, it wouldn't be near as funny if I did. However, I did add some commentary in the little brackets. Oh, and sorry for all the exclamation points and big letters. Can't blame a 10-year old girl for being a little enthusiastic about life.

January 1st, 2000

"Happy Birthday to me! Now, I am 10 years old! Mom and Dad keep telling me to STOP growing up. I know they are just joking. Ha ha! But kids can't stay like Peter Pan forever! At least not me! I got a lot of neat stuff. A fairy doll, a doll playset, a book, bracelets, a necklace, a cd headphone player [what the junk was I talking about?!], a doll that looks JUST like me, pants, a dress, WAIT! That's all I can remember. [What, did I just experience sudden head trauma?] Crazy huh? [You're telling me.] But the Chronicles of Narnia is only 1 more I can remember. Bye!"

January 26!

One more day 'til the talent show! [just fyi, almost this entire journal revolves around the talent show. I'm not sure why now.] Sorry, I haven't written for a long time. Today I play my violin concert at 7:00pm tonight! We (my class) are singing two songs in the Talent Show called Dr. King & Lewy Lewy [back then I was a phonetic speller, okay?].

February 13!

Oh man! I haven't written Forever! Oh well. Tomorrow is actually Valentine's Day. We have gotten 3 new kids + the 21 we had before. This means I"ll be full on candy tomorrow! Today we had a substitute teacher at church. Brother Stanley. We had a lesson on the Tree of Life. I call the Tree of Life...Cauliflower! Just kidding. Well, my hand writing might be sloppy tomorrow because I'll be sick from candy.

April 14, 2001

I know. I haven't written forever. Well here is a little time machine! I was taking a writing class with my good friend Amy Mathews. We both agree to NEVER go back again. The teacher was nutty and the kids were...well let's just say scary! Abel, was definitely not able. Every time the teacher asked him to read his work, he'd say "PASS!" [Forgive me for my harshness...little kids can be real meanies.]

April 16, 2001

Nothing really happened today. Ha-Ha. Just kidding. As usual I went to violin class but a new thing: she (my mom) was the first to pick me up. Mom is usually the last to pick up--that's right--ME. Mom was on the RADIO! That is not exciting. Ha Ha again. Eh huh again. Ok I will stop being weird. I got cool writing scores. 5, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, and 4, 4, 4, 4 [*facepalm*]. You have to at least get a 4. AWESOME! I was listening to Shania Twain on the radio 3 halfs of a second ago. What's 3 halfs of a second? Shania Twain reminds me of my best friend Liz. She listens to Shania. The best thing about journals are: 1)they don't get graded. 2)They are SECRET [not on this blog...]. 3)they are like historical fiction books, which I love. 4) they do or do not tell lies [huh?].

April 17, 2001

Today was really radical! After school I went ot my BF's house [Lizzy]. 1st we went to Subway. On the way to SUB, I had too many choco-eggs and they made my mouth dry. Afterwards we helped her mom Cheryl clean the dental office by Grandma's house. Eww! I helped w/ the trash. It was dark out, so when I dumped the trash, well...DQ is right over the fence. The food pick-up is right over the fence. I swung the trash a little too far right over to where the DQ customers pick up their food. HA HA! Oops!

April 18, 2001

TALENT SHOW AUDITIONS! The auditions were great! I think I'm in. There is a lot happening at the Talent Show. Some stuff kids did was a little, well, INAPPROPRIATE. Not that I care they move their bodies in weird motions. In math, we got assigned seats! I had to sit by Chris Hardisty. YUCK! [yeah, I totally had a crush on him, fyi.]

April 26, 2001

Today we dissected owl pellets! It turns out the owl had 2 3/4 rodent dinner. We STILL haven't gotten all of the bones out of the "rotten cotton candy"!

April 28, 2001

Today Amy and I went to the movie SPY kids. Weird!!!! It has too much...high tech stuff in it [little did I know...] Afterwards off went went to Orange Julius after her MOM picked us up. It was POURING DOWN HAIL AND RAIN. Then we got back to her house and watched PRINCE OF EGYPT and ate popcorn and cookies. Amy is my other BF. Sometimes I bring extra underwear to her house because she makes me laugh SOOO hard! [I am so ashamed of this...but I had to share. I just had to.]

May 2nd, 2001

Spent the night at Amy's. I am writing this in gel pen because my ink ran out. First of all, Nichelle cheated at track again! I was ahead again, and she pushed me on the corner. She brags terribly! All the time. "My brother is the fastest on his team" "I've never gotten any checkmarks" [in 5th grade, checkmarks were akin to demerits, ok?]. OK, so Amy and I had fun. Ate pizza. She's a blast!

May 10, 2001

Leslie's play was great. On the way to WA, I read and finished the LANDRY NEWS. I've been wearing my hat all day [nothing new here] and so it feels like I have lice. Itch, scratch, itch, scratch! After the play we got Domino's & Cinnastix w/ icing. Leslie and I had to pick up pop from Subway. Michael finished 2 of the Cinnastix and opened the frosting while we left him in the car. No wonder some were missing!

that's about as awkward as it can get

there was this one time I slept on a pyramid. that was awkward. and yes, I'm sleeping while sitting up. even more awkward. were there tourists around? plenty. were we wasted on Dramamine? maybe.

Let's face it, either I'm awkward (mostly true) or I just bring out the awkwardness in other people (also true) or I attract awkward people. Blurgh.

awesome

1. Dreaming that I wrecked my brother's sweet Laser. This is awesome because it was, in fact, a dream, and not reality. In the dream I kept thinking, "I hope this isn't real and that I wake up. I have no money for new tires." Wish granted.
2. Bon Iver=a musical poet. Watch this and try to keep your mouth closed. I dare you.
3. Kaitlyn Kaycee Dwiggins making her way to Rexburg just when I need her. Last night was not a good night for me and my allergies, people. Once again, I sound like a man and my face feels inside out.
4. Finally getting Sister Gopp's address by way of crazy coincidence!
5. Idaho autumn-y sunsets. How many days til October?!
6. It's conference weekend, por fin.
7. A beautiful thing called pumpkin smash smoothies at Jamba Juice. With the first sip, I died, came back, then died again.
8. scripture study in the sun (who knows how much longer it will last...sniffle)
9. Mint Green nail polish, mmm yes. It kinda makes me crave milkshakes, though. Problem.

awkward:

1. A certain home teacher who came over unannounced (as per usual) at around 10:30 pm, gave me unsolicited advice on my personal life, offered to set me up with one of his friends who "might be gay," and then took my roommate's ice cream out of her hands and ate some.
2. Saying "Are you following me?" to people I keep running into, because I think they automatically think the opposite: "Oh...is she following me?" Uhhhhhhhhh
3. Eating red onions--never a good idea, even though they taste good. They ruin your mouth (and thus, your prospects...ya dig?) for days.
4. Seeing no less than 10 people with the same shirt as me in one day. That's what happens when you buy something from American Eagle. Oy.
5. Telling a roommate a hilarious story only to have her misunderstand and miss the punchline completely. Don't mind me, I'm just laughing at my own joke over here. Ha. Ha. Ha.........
6. Trying to chat with someone on facebook, only to have them get offline right as you say "hey!" Well fine....I didn't wanna talk to you anyhow!

oh, the cleverness of me

awesomeness:

-avocado+jam+egg sandwich. you know you want one.

-demolition derby (aka redneck jousting). now that's a good place to find a huzzbend.

-um, postmodernism is only, like, the BEST english class ever. And I can't believe I just said it like that, but I've lost all words. We read a story on Wednesday and my mouth was open for all 17 pages.

-secret glances heheheh

-a movie known as Midnight in Paris. It made me proud to be an English major. Oh and whoever played Ernest Hemingway...was attractive. Go ahead and think I'm weird for liking a dead guy. I dare ya.

-the very first open meet of the x-country season. It was surprisingly easy. And then the coaches' pep talk was, "Guys, it's gonna get easier, I promise." I smiled the whole way home.

-autumny rainy days

awkwardness:

-seeing some guy friends from back in the day walking to sammy's...and then rolling down my window to say hi...and then my brain misfired at that exact moment and instead of making the "hi!" noise my mouth made the "ow-ow!" noise. oh the shame. they waved awkwardly as if they didn't know me. and then we sped away. face, meet palm.

-walking past my new classroom about five times, like a freshman with those cute little maps. and having a few upper-classmen (wait..that's me!) eyeball me with concern. Don't worry guys...I found it! It's...right here. In front of my face.

-the computer I'm currently using literally gasps for breath, guys. It kind of scares me when I'm trying to fall asleep and then all of a sudden, "Mehhhuuuuurrrrshhhhhh!" I'm sitting up in my bed faster than a hungry cheetah (huh?). I have no idea how you would pronounce that, by the way.

-being in the middle of a movie night with your roommates (meaning I was in my jammies...meaning that's all I was in. Get my drift?) when guys from the ward decided to pop in. Oh please, do not turn on that li.....oooh, too late. I'll just grab the nearest dishtowel then.

-that awkward thing people do when you are having a conversation with them and they start texting. which happens to me regularly. oy.

-that other awkward thing people do when they eavesdrop on a conversation you're having with someone else and then they add their own little anecdote. "Excuse me, do I know you? You're standing awfully close..."

-did you know that some boys (aka most boys) eat whatever's in their fridge no matter how badly it smells? I didn't. Luckily I wasn't the only one who noticed the strange smell. My friend came out of his room and said, "Who vomited?" Somebody get these kids an eternal compadre, stat!

rained on

Well this is awkward.

This morning I decided to wear a skirt, which is not an unusual decision for me to make on Tuesdays. Tuesdays are devotionals days. Then I went outside, and the wind blew, like it usually does. I held down my skirt frantically, like I always do.

Then the rain started to pour, horizontally I might add. Pretty soon my skirt looked like a waterfall. I was soaking wet--soaking I tell you--when a girl passing by must have noticed I needed a pick-me-up.

"I like your skirt!" [as I'm holding it between my legs]

"Oh..thank you!" I must have sounded like a drowning cat or something.

I don't think she could see my grateful face because it was obscured by my curly wet hair (think Mufasa-style, only after a flash flood).

Then I got into the big Family Foundations meeting in the Taylor Chapel. One of the professors at the door handed me the study guide, which promptly turned into soggy, useless mush when my hands touched it. I'm like King Midas, only I'm not a King, my name is McKenzie, and everything I touch becomes the texture of wet toilet paper, not gold. So...maybe not so much like King Midas.

Also, wearing a coat with a giant hood presents its own set of problems. I can't hear people talking to me if they're off to the side...it's sorta muffled. So if anybody called my name when they saw me walking around campus and I ignored you...I either really don't want to go on that second date with you or I couldn't hear you (that first part was a joke....duh).

And let's not forget about peripheral vision. Meaning, friends, that I have none when I wear that bulky red coat. So let's not talk about how many people I grazed shoulders with/completely ran into today because I truly didn't see them walking there. Oy.

I would post a picture of myself, but I am afraid too many of you will shout "Medusa!" as soon as you see it and run away, never to read this blog again. So we'll just save that for another, less Oregon-y day.

a little somethin’ awkward, a little somethin’ awesome.

image from dis place

Ever heard of The Daybook? Well it just so happens to be a really cool little blog run by a fellow Rexburgian. Okay, and that brings me to my first awkward. Rexburgian?

Anyway, Sydney, the girl who runs it, does this thing called “Awkward and Awesome Thursday,” where she lists the awkwardness/awesomeness of the week.

I love lists.

Awkward moments define my life.

And of course, awesomeness is sprinkled in there too (as you know from my happy list Mondays).

So here we go.

Awkward:

*living in an apartment where the walls are paper thin. That includes bathroom walls. Ick.

*last night, in order to avoid being accosted by the plethora of Latin Lovers which came out of the woodwork when I walked down the street, I latched onto a woman with a baby. I walked pretty close to her, which I think freaked her out, and made her walk even faster. So much for Mexican hospitality.

*being one of 12 white people at a party (the rest were Mexicans, obviously) and having them stare at us incredulously when we started dancing. That bad, huh?

*leaving aforementioned party with an entire leftover cake for my roommates and I to share and getting weird looks from a few people. “Yes, it’s all for me. I’m on the LGFC diet.” (FYI, that’s the “Look Good Fully Clothed” Diet).

*when the people you live with eat your food and they know it…and you know they know it…so when you see them next, you give them the hairy eyeball, and they pretend like they don’t know, but they know. Oh, and that entire sentence was awkward.

*Using the wrong verb in Spanish and thus turning a normal, everyday comment into a really dirty one. Sorry, my bad.

Awesome:

*that cake we brought home is dericious. So is the salsa verde and the guacamole. I could drink it, it’s so good.

*discovering old music on the iPod that hasn’t been in heavy rotation for a long time.

*getting a tan in January. Benefits of living in Mexico, Part 210.

*that little cheek-touch, kiss-in-the-air thing that Mexicans do when they greet you/say goodbye. I just like it, that’s all.

*Alma 37. Go read it. Right now, okay?!

*I can’t believe I am confessing to this. But last night I spent a good amount of time on this website. It’s pretty cool, I think.

*discovering poems which I wrote freshman year. Like this one, containing some of my favorite words:

The swath began and ended

At the fire hydrant

Limbs were bruised

From the pelting rain

I could have bulldozed

The answers out of him

But didn’t bother

Because of the iron grip

He held on with both

Dusty hands

Because of that quixotic

Happiness I felt for him

Did I ever weep?

Why, no, I did not climb

Those steep stairs enough

Not enough to

Cause me to tremble

Then hide

Pouring onto the hideaway

Was the sadness

But I couldn’t guess

What the reason was for the

Seamless clouds

And this concludes my awkward and awesome post. Adios, my friends.